David Cooper
patreon
0404 - Hans Moleman
🕑 Added 2025-01-06 09:00:01 +0000 UTCWe're starting out "Principal Charming" with a MAJOR character. Ralph Melish himself!
I'm taking his license here as semi-canon - no one in their right might would argue that his name is actually Ralph, but his date of birth being in 1921 seems more plausible than him being 31 (as he states in season 4's "Duffless".)
Hans's skin colour is as inconsistent as his age, at least at first, but eventually they settle on Springfield-yellow being the standard.
Hans has ended up having a lot of personal significance to me, as I have a long-running fan comic starring him - it probably means I've drawn him more than any other character except maybe Lenny (or Moe?) Indeed, one of the reasons I started this comic is because Hans is very fun to draw, there's something very satisfying about that wrinkly peanut head and oversized glasses, his design is truly unique.
He's a popular character despite rarely having a real spotlight - the sort of character who mainly shows up for a single gag here or there without further exploration. Maybe this is precisely why he's a popular character - he's all killer, no filler. As far as I know, there's no episode that focuses in-depth on him, even after all these years.
The closest thing Hans has to a running joke is his apparent inability to be killed, with over 40 deaths listed on the Simpsons Wiki. As the show continues they seems to lean into this more, with a majority of these deaths occurring after the "classic era".
Some additional trivia: Hans was once the mayor of Springfield, revealed in season 26's "Walking Big & Tall":
The first image here is Hans from 30 years ago. I was shocked. SHOCKED I say.
At some point after his time as mayor, Hans led the underground fortress of the mole-people, seen in season 11's "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder":
He's a man of multitudes, is ultimately what I'm saying. Hans Moleman is the perfect encapsulation of how none of this makes any sense and there will never be a coherence in Simpsons canon. Hans has led several full lives despite only being 31, or maybe over 100. He's a variety of colours. He can die multiple times. Nothing makes sense, so embrace the chaos!
This post is part of my "Every Simpsons Character Ever" series. For a list of my rules in this project, click here.
Comments
Noah Lieberman
Oh man, this made me realize I hadn't been keeping up with Hans' adventures since I left twitter in November. I have to catch up!
Neil Davidson
Good Moleman to you
