Lithier
patreon
Lith's Diary - November
🕑 Added 2018-12-01 00:10:38 +0000 UTCDear Diary,
Well. I talked a big game of doing well and balancing your life last month, and this month that's kinda gone out the window a little. Partly I got a little swept up in taking time off to relax after I finally got most of my work done, and partly I went and got sick right when I really needed to get to work again. I ended up falling off the wagon with some of my good habits, and it's been really hard getting myself to focus on getting into the right place mentally again. Can't let myself get distracted or lazy!
I guess that's part of why I'm always reminding myself here and preaching good practices. I can have really lousy discipline... Part of me always wants to just waste the day doing nothing or playing games or whatever, and I have a ton of little ways to pull it on myself, "accidentally" letting so much of my time slip by without getting much anything done. It's awful!
Maybe it's a balance thing. I'm not sure. I don't think I'd say I was burned out, but maybe I pushed myself a little too much, and it made it that much harder to really get into working again after it had gotten stressful. I should be able to push through that! And I mean, I have been getting work done at least, but I did miss some, and I've been letting other things slip. All the little tricks I use to stay productive and eating healthy, building and maintaining good habits. Slow progress over a long period only works if you keep at it even when it's tough...
But I'll keep trying. I've been building a better life piece by piece, and having a good way to keep things from falling apart, and to fix it when they do, is just one more part of that. Ganbarou!
Let's see. Well, I've been playing monster hunter again. I think I talked about it a while back when I played it on console, but I got it for pc so I could actually play online. Still grumbly the console version charges you to go online at all. The game has actually been pretty nice playing through from the beginning again, even though there's a good amount of grind to it. It's satisfying progression, you know? I always like leveling more than the endgame in MMOs, so maybe that applies here. Monster hunter is all about conquering a huge monster so you can make sweet new gear out of it and be stronger, that's the core, addictive cycle.
And now, with online play, it actually gets better. I didn't think the online play would add all that much besides being able to play with friends, but even if they're not around, it's really easy to get a bunch of random people to jump in and help out on your missions. So usually I'd have a tough time with some missions, but if I do, I can just put up an invite and three strangers, usually people that are way too strong for the mission, will pop in to help out! The monster gets tougher, so it's still a challenge, but it turns the really tough missions into like, an epic showdown instead of a frustrating brick wall you have to grind a lot to get past. Maybe part of that is just that I'm better at the game now, but overall it seems like a much better experience!
And just recently, I've jumped into the new game from the guys that made FTL. It's called Into the Breach, and it's... hmm. It's interesting. I can't decide if it's perfect for me, or if it kinda draws out the wrong side of me for me to actually have fun with it? It's all about these turn-based battles, mechs vs. giant insect aliens, but the mechanics make it feel a lot more like a puzzle based around finding clever ways to push them off cliffs or into each other's attacks and stall for time to survive. So almost every single turn, I find myself staring at the board for maybe as much as five minutes trying to find the absolutely optimal way to stop the bugs from destroying any of the city and kill as many of them as possible, while trying to body-block others from crawling up to the surface. It can do a good job making you feel clever once you find that really sweet interaction, and there are a lot of desperate "pinch" moments where you have to struggle to find some solution that doesn't mean sacrificing innocent lives or your own pilots, or having to choose which of the two is more important.
So I always want to take longer and longer to find the right solution, but... sometimes that makes it a little less fun. That desperation to find "perfection" when it's hard to tell what's right can kinda tire me out, where with games like Opus Magnum, you don't have to find the perfect solution. It's a puzzle, and getting a correct answer can be tough, but if you like the puzzle you can refine it as much as you want, as long as it's interesting to you, to get an even better answer. That's something I appreciate about it now, looking back. I never felt penalized for just wanting to get past a puzzle I'm having a hard time with or losing interest in. With Into the Breach, every single puzzle matters a lot.
That's the other way it sinks its claws in me, I guess. I tend to have a passion for resource management in games, as boring as that may sound. There are a lot of reources to be gained and lost with your decisions in every battle, and one wrong move could make the rest of the campaign a ton harder. I remember when I found out that space bar ends your turn for some terrible reason, and I accidentally skipped the first round of combat. It was pretty devastating. I'm still not sure if I like the game, I'm playing it when I have a minute. At least it's decent for playing in small bursts. Maybe I'll come back to this one next time and let you know.
Well, I did say I should take some time to reward myself after last month, and it's been nice gaming again, but now the balance is out of whack the other way again. No good! I feel like maybe if I can keep myself right in the middle, I'll be able to stay happy and productive/healthy day to day, but there are always little things popping up to throw that out of whack, and there's always more work needs doing. I'll keep trying, don't worry.
I hope you're doing a better job balancing things out than I am, Diary. Make sure you're staying busy, not just working but improving yourself. But also, make sure you take time off regularly to enjoy life, however you like to do that best. Promise me, okay? You'll be happier and healthier that way, and I'm super greedy and want you to be happy and healthy. Maybe you can inspire me to get off my butt and do it properly if you do it well enough!
...I guess I rely on you for a lot of stuff, don't I? I hope that's not too hard on you. I really do appreciate all you've done to help me... And I know you're helping Lithier get us more time together, too. You're just working your butt off to be a helpful Diary, aren't you? Listening to me complain here, guiding me through the void, and whatever it is you do with Lithier. And I'm poking you to serve as some kinda inspiration for me to stop being lazy on top of all that? I really am a butt. You do what you want, okay?
...I mean, you should still take care of yourself. But you don't have to do it for me. You know? ...I dunno what I'm talking about anymore. Just... thank you, Diary. You've been wonderful to me, and I couldn't ask another thing of you.
-Lith
