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A New Star Chapter 47

🕑 Added 2025-10-31 17:00:16 +0000 UTC

Comments

PickledTink

---- or the first class car could only be boarded by presenting a ticket ---- Wording: I would add "maybe" after "or" here, to make it flow better after the last sentence. ---- one of which we were entitled to based on what the Count had purchased earlier ---- Wording: I'd switch "based on what" for "with the tickets". ---- were involved in trades that fringed on what we were working on or that directly overlapped. ---- Word choice. "fringed" is not really a good word for this. "bordered" is much better. ---- having a somewhat milder climb ---- Typo: "clime". ---- Even further north, though it was still a thing that was developing a little more, were warehouses where goods were stored or sent further along a shipping route. ---- Phrasing: If you are referring to a place that is still seeing much construction, it would be better written as "Even further north, though the area was still under development, were warehouses..." ---- just as weakly as the second ---- This is okay, but I would replace "weakly" with "gently" for this little tap.

Jywert

Percussive maintenance is quite useful in many cases, but you need to know when and how much to use it.


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