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#762 The Gods of Worship Go Astray
🕑 Added 2023-08-24 09:41:01 +0000 UTCArdheg and Bloody Mary radiate beauty in their human forms.
He’s in a pristine white tuxedo, while she’s dressed in an immaculate white wedding gown.
Their matching outfits gleam brilliantly, symbolizing their shared future.
Batemy and Olba,
Zoth Syra and Orkubo,
Teacher Carp and Gobukichi,
Bloody Mary and Ardheg.
The four newlywed couples have assembled, making their way to the altar to light the wedding candles.
“To everyone gathered here, thank you for joining us.”
The individual presiding over the altar is none other than Sensei, the Lifeless King.
Seeing him, a wave of shock passes through the attendees, plunging the gathering into chaos.
With all the couples in place, everyone believed there would be no more surprises. So, his sudden appearance is even more startling.
Given that he’s known as one of the World’s Two Greatest Calamities, many attendees drop to the ground, desperately trying to escape, but their legs have given out beneath them.
What was meant to be a joyous and celebratory wedding day has spiraled into sheer pandemonium.
“Thank you all for making the effort to be present today.”
Speaking on behalf of the couples, Orkubo conveys his gratitude.
“The chance to witness our new beginnings by Sensei is our utmost joy. It’s a day we’ll never forget.”
“Oh, no, no. I’ve been overseeing you since your inception, and watching your journey fills me with pride. Seeing those who once resembled new puppets grow into such grand beings... It’s enough to bring tears to my eyes...!”
Sensei is deeply moved.
During this interaction, Olba, the sole person seeing Sensei for the first time, seems to be frothing at the mouth.
Is he still conscious?
“I’ve overseen weddings before, but a joint ceremony is a first for me. Even after living for a thousand years, there’s always something new to experience... Life is truly marvelous...”
“Truly, only you could oversee ceremonies of multiple faiths at once, Sensei.”
“Well, to be precise, I’m merely a facilitator. Now, without further delay...!”
With a flourish of his staff, Sensei bends space itself. From the opened spatio-temporal rift, a chilling divine aura emerges.
As is customary.
This is how Sensei, the Lifeless King, calls forth the gods!
He beckons the gods directly to witness and affirm the marital vows.
Oaths of matrimony, taken in the genuine presence of deities!
“First, to bless the union of the demon pair, we call upon the god Hades.”
“By all means!” “Huh?!”
The bride, accustomed to this procedure, and the groom, unfamiliar and puzzled, present a stark contrast.
“Now, emerge, ruler of the underworld, Hades. Grant your blessings upon this young pair.”
For once, Sensei calls upon the deity with a fitting invocation.
And the Hades that manifests is...
...not his usual visage.
He appears more formidable than usual.
His form, significantly larger than what’s typically seen when summoned, boasts multiple arms.
Even wings!
Spikes galore!
And those impressively expansive shoulder pads amplifying his already broad shoulders!
He seems to embody the second phase of a final game boss!
“Well met, mine own children who stand ‘fore me...Thy gallantry shall not go unacknowledged!”
His speech even mirrors that of a final boss!
What is going on?
Hades, why this sudden transformation?!
“Having observed the mortals of late, I believe such an appearance is much revered, is it not?”
Huh?!
“Even a deity must stay abreast of the latest trends. I have re-fashioned myself to meet the desires of the mortal realm. ...So? A hit amongst the youthful, perchance?”
Hades confidently showcases his alternate form.
But something’s off.
I can’t remember any trend like this taking root...!
Trends... Wait, could it be?!
Those numerous modified Hades figures from the God Figure Competition?!
The competition where enthusiasts alter action figures to compete, resulting in an array of uniquely tailored Hades figures.
Each design is as diverse as the creators themselves!
Being a burgeoning hobby, the numerous experimental designs crafted solely to secure a win remind me of the Cambrian Explosion.
Did the god himself witness this event and take inspiration?!
He’s combined those wild Hades figure ideas to produce this final boss-esque form.
“Y-Y-Your Mightiness? It seems there’s been a slight misunderstanding in Your Mightiness’ perception, hasn’t there?”
“Unlike foolish Zeus, I do not indulge in blind adoration! I always adapt to the desires of my offspring, ever seeking a form most deserving of veneration!”
“That form, I regret to say, is not the proper one!”
Please revert to your previous state at once!
At this rate, believers might start seeing you as blasphemous!
“Sensei! Please rectify Hades’ misunderstanding quickly! This is no longer about the wedding!”
“Indeed, if I continue to summon him in this guise, people will fear the apocalypse is imminent.”
It’s a typical concept to have Sensei as the initial final boss and then, upon his defeat, introduce Hades in his alternate form.
But let’s avoid multiple final bosses!
And keep transformations to a maximum of three! Nobody could keep track of a tenth form!
“However, convincing a god may be a tad ambitious even for me... Ah, I know. Let a god deal with a god.”
“What do you mean?”
As I ponder, Sensei swings his staff.
And then, he summoned the sea god, Poseidon. Given that Zoth Syra and Teacher Carp were present, his appearance was predictable...
“Greetings.”
“...?”
Upon glimpsing the altered visage of his brother, the ruler of the underworld, Poseidon momentarily went expressionless...
“Bwha! Bwahahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahahahahaha! Eheehehe! By the gods! Is this a jest? Wait, I implore... I cannot breathe...! Such laughter might be the end of meee!”
And then, he succumbed to raucous laughter.
The cause? Witnessing Hades in his alternate boss form.
“What is this monstrosity, Hades? A reflection of a passing fancy? Most amusing! Surely, even celestial entities present a more elegant form, yes? Art thee invoking some sort of mystic energy? It is sheer lunacy! The god of the underworld has lost his wits!”
“Silence thine mockery!”
Even Poseidon, amid his guffaws, seemed at risk of a faith crisis. Hopefully, this episode might help the lord of the underworld regain his equilibrium.
“Laugh while thee can, Poseidon! This is the current trend among mortals! I have studied their ways and drawn mine own conclusions!”
“Fashionable tomfoolery! Thou art played for a fool. I suspect Loki-like pranksters art involved!”
“Nay. I speak the truth! Right, saint?”
The dialogue turns to me.
I was at a loss, caught off guard. Yet, knowing the origin, I couldn’t feign ignorance. I began explaining our side.
“So, what I have witnessed is merely a part of this mimicry game?”
“It’s a phase of experimentation, and we’d prefer if Your Mightiness would emulate it after it matures a bit...!”
“Very well. On these terms, as a reward for the next contest’s champion, I shall don my most victorious form!”
What a magnanimous prize!!!
Fortunately, this cleared up the confusion, and we sidestepped having Hades as the final adversary.
That was a close call!
I genuinely wish to express gratitude to Poseidon for aiding in the persuasion...
“...”
What’s wrong?
Why such a vacant look, Your Mightiness?
“...Why isn’t there a figurine of me?”
Oh dear.
Your Mightiness, you’re mistaken. There is a figure of you. It’s just... not as sought after... no, that’s not the right phrasing either!
“So, it is only Hades’ figure that is in demand? Why this bias? Have I not labored tirelessly for the denizens of the oceans?”
It’s not about that, Your Mightiness. It’s just that this trend mainly surfaced on land, giving a certain home-field advantage...!
Oh no! Just when I thought I’d pacified Hades, Poseidon stirs the pot!
Please stop messing around, the main event of the wedding isn’t progressing at all!
The four couples who are supposed to be the stars of the day are just standing there dumbfounded!!!
