PATRIARCH FOWL
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Casual Heroing, Chapter 159
🕑 Added 2023-08-05 19:13:23 +0000 UTCNext chapter comes out Sunday, August 6th!
HE'S DOING WHAT WITH WHAT?! 🍖🍖🍖
6/7 chapters this week!
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Chapter 159 - Hostile Takes
Flaminia walked by the market in the Pratus with a radiant smile on her face. She believed it would take some time for Joey actually to fall for her: in fact, she believed that their being ‘friends’ might have made things much harder than they would have been between them otherwise.
The pink-haired [Sugarsweet Chef] went to look for some already cooked treats at the food stalls in the Pratus. She was a tad too tired to make something herself since she had gone to work early—well, she wasn’t already tired, but it was more like she knew she was going to be tired soon enough to warrant some advanced rest.
‘Come see me at home. We need to talk. - Joey’
That’s what Joey had written down and somehow had got it delivered to Happy Bakery. She was surprised to know that Joey was still in his house—she thought he had gone away. Could it be that he had just come back? Who knew?
Anyway, anything else she had to do could definitely wait at this point since an opportunity like this would hardly come around twice.
Joey is probably tired from whatever training he's doing, Flaminia thought with a sneaky smile. Maybe he just wants to relax.
Even though Flaminia was currently thinking about how to exploit the situation for her own advantage, there was something in the deepest pits of her stomach that was making her uncomfortable.
It's just fear—I'm just nervous because he's a Human, she told herself.
"Hi, can I have two of those?" Flaminia pointed at some meat-packed sandwiches at a stall.
"Sure thing, miss," the young man working there gave her a wide smile, and Flaminia winked in return.
She had the sandwiches packaged and put them both in her bag of holding.
He will be starving, and this time around, I'm not going to come empty-handed.
…
Flaminia looked down at the dress she had commissioned Fulvia to make and smiled to herself. She had changed back into it at Happy Bakery and was now leveling the few wrinkles that she had made in it when she had thrown it into her bag of holding.
Stupid dress, she sighed and shook her head, steeling herself and raising her hand to knock on Joey's door. Here we go; time to bite the apple. Let's hope it's not rotten inside.
As soon as she knocked on the door, the door opened by itself, revealing an empty room inside.
"Joey? Hello?" Flaminia entered with a big, toothy smile on her face but found no one inside. "Joey, where are you?"
There weren’t really many places to hide behind, to be honest. The apartment was a one-room deal with a stove that, as Flaminia understood, Joey had gotten lots of usage from. But apart from a bed, a table, and the said stove on the countertop, there wasn't really much else inside Joey's room.
Is that a hole? Flaminia was staring at a hole in the wall when she heard some shuffling behind her. Ragged breathing came with it, making her skin crawl.
"WHO'S THERE?!" She shouted, whirling on her feet and, with a hand in her bag of holding, already grabbing for a knife. She didn't immediately recognize the reddened figure in front of her to be Joey and pointed a kitchen knife at him.
"Well, I'd like not to get stabbed before the duel. Hell, not even during, if possible. But you know, as they say, sometimes luck favors the racists—or something like that."
When she heard the voice, the pink-haired woman shed all her doubts.
"Joey," she said, no questions asked.
"Exactly," the man in front of her replied, looking confused at her before going, "Aaah, right! Yes, this?" He pointed at his reddened skin. "Part of the training. I know I look like a tomato, but I don't mind. It's just the side effect of—"
Flaminia recoiled.
"What are all those tattoos on your skin?! What did you do?!"
"Huh. The runes. Right, right. Still part of the training, really. No biggie—they are going to fade like henna—hot girl summer and all that, you know? Anyway, listen, Flam, we gotta talk."
"But Joey, your skin…" Flaminia got closer and shakily touched Joey's naked arms. "It's burning up," her eyes widened.
"It is," Joey admitted with a forced smile, "but I don't have time to explain this. Not now. I need to talk to you. It's extremely important. But before we get to the business part of it, we gotta clear the air about what happened, Flam."
Flaminia nodded, reclining her chin close to her chest and giving him a coquettish glance.
"It was special," she said in a chirping tone.
Joey responded with a dumbfounded stare.
"What?" His voice was snappish.
"The kiss," Flaminia said, "it was special."
"Christ," Joey replied, slapping his forehead and then swearing for the pain from the blow, “alright, look. I actually thought you were just drunk or something. What are you talking about? Special? Flam, are you for real?"
"Yes!" Flaminia looked affronted. "What do you even mean? It was incredible!"
Joey gave her another dumbfounded look. But it was so plain that not even Flaminia could mistake it for interest.
"Oh, I see," she said with an inkling of venom making its way into her tone, "Irene got to you before I did."
"What? I haven't even talked with…" Joey was speechless.
"No? Then why are you reacting like that? I thought you brought me here to talk about your feelings for me!" Flaminia snapped.
Joey looked at the pink-haired [Chef] and then at his body.
"I could say so much about why I don't have the time for this specific conversation, but alright. I'll humor you. Sit down and tell me what you think went down between us," Joey said.
"Well," Flaminia slammed a chair back and sat down, huffing, "there's obviously some attraction between us, and I picked up on the cues and kissed you."
"Ok," Joey said with some strain in his voice. "What signals did you pick up exactly? And if you don't understand the expression, what made you think I was interested?"
"We are very close friends! We are both the best [Bakers] in Amorium, and we get along really well!"
"Are you trying to justify it to me or to yourself, Flam?" Joey frowned.
"What do you even mean?!"
"Ok, let's take a step back," Joey said, trying to relax his voice. "Let me see if I understand. It is your opinion that there's an attraction between us and that you kissingme was warranted by my…"
"Because you listened to me, and you seemed so interested, Joey. I had a rough childhood, and I felt… close to you."
Joey smacked his lips and lowered his eyes, frowning.
"Ok, so… do you mind if I ask you something?" Joey said.
"Are you going to make fun of my feelings again?" Flaminia snapped at him.
Joey bit back a response and shook his head.
"No. I just want to ask if you have recently had any… relationship problems. You were seeing the military guy, right?"
"Irene's brother," Flaminia spat out the words. "And she didn't even tell you what her brother did, I bet."
That seemed to finally reach Joey's feelings and made him flinch. But instead of snapping back, he simply inhaled and exhaled a few times.
"No, she didn't tell me," Joey nodded.
Flaminia remained quiet just as Joey stopped speaking. They looked at each other, with the woman examining the man’s reddened skin covered in weird symbols – the man who had come to work at Happy Bakery not even two months ago and who had already caused a series of huge ruckuses, one of which she had been the antagonist of, no less.
Joey's deep blue eyes shone in the natural light coming from the windows, and his red skin pulsated angrily, clearly upset. But there was no rage, no spite on his face. He looked quite tired, yes, but not weary of Flaminia's presence. In fact, he mostly looked… sad.
"Flam, I like you," his words made her heart flutter and then drop, "I like you as a friend. I am pretty sure stuff is going on in your life that I don't understand well. I am also sure that what you told me about your childhood fucked you up real good. However, I also have to tell you, as a friend, that not only do I not like you as a romantic partner, but I'm pretty sure you don't either. It might sound cheesy, but I can see it in your eyes."
"Cheesy?" Flaminia frowned, focusing on that one word in order not to hear the rest.
"You probably know what I mean," Joey pressed. "Can you stop for one second to consider what I just said? Please?"
Flaminia opened and closed her mouth in swift succession. She was torn between shouting and making a scene and listening to the deepening pit in her stomach. Something was clearly wrong with her today because she felt nauseous as if she had eaten rotten meat. It’s been a while since she’s felt like this; specifically, the last time was when she spoke with her mother.
Without knowing it, and none the better, Flaminia's eyes filled up with tears, and she immediately brought her hands to her face to try and swat those offending droplets of water.
She wasn't sad! Why was she crying?!
Was it because Joey was refusing her?!
No! She was strong!
Joey simply stayed silent, sitting through the scene as the uncomfortable moment stretched to infinity, with both of them not saying anything and Flaminia shedding more and more tears. At some point, she stopped trying to shoo them away and simply gave in to the sobbing.
"This…" her voice was broken up by sobs. "This reminds me of my parents for some reason. Are you going to abandon me, Joey? Are you going to go away as well?"
Joey's eyes didn't soften, though.
"Flam," he spoke with a steady tone, "I am deeply sorry about your pain, but we need to speak about what you did. These tears don't come from a random place, and you can't use them as an excuse to feel sorry for yourself."
"What are you saying?" Flaminia bawled.
"That you fucked up—big time, girl," Joey tried to add some humor at the end. "I am no expert in psychology… well, what you would call the ‘mind’ or ‘soul,’ I suppose. What I can tell you, though, is that what you are looking for is not a relationship with me. That, I am absolutely sure of. Like, a hundred percent sure and more."
"You don't find me beautiful?!" Flaminia shouted.
"First, stop deflecting. Second, I do, sure," Joey snorted, "but so what? You and I? We can definitely be great friends, but we are way too fucked up already on our own. We are on two different paths that don’t touch each other like that, Flam. I can help you out, and I need youto help me out. But not like you have in mind right now. That will never happen—and if it did, it would just put you deeper into whatever shit you are going through right now."
Hearing those words, Flaminia could feel a thousand remarks on the tip of her tongue, a thousand things that had nothing to do with what Joey had just said, but that might make him guilty enough to walk back on it.
Call it intuition or call it a lump in her throat, Flaminia couldn't bear to speak ill anymore. There was something in what Joey had said about 'two paths' and him 'helping' her that was, in some way, all she had craved.
Perhaps, Flaminia mused, perhaps I've always looked for just this. A friend. A sincere friend.
"Listen," Joey intercepted Flaminia's thoughts, almost as if he had just read them, "I really need your help. But you can only help me if we are on the same page. We don't like each other like that, but we can still do some crazy shit I've thought of and that I need your help with. I need to know, Flam, if I can count on you like that or not."
"I—I," Flaminia stumbled on her words but then squeezed her eyelids together and nodded. "Yes. Ok. Fuck."
"Not love, but how about great friendship then?" Joey looked at her meaningfully, passing all he wanted to say through a simple glance.
"Yes," she nodded shakily.
At that moment, both peered into each other’s souls. Flaminia had never quite had a moment of truth like this: all her life, never had she been rejected this brutally. Rotten roots, perhaps she could have even sunk her claws deeper into Plinius if she had wanted to. But this? Something about how Joey behaved in reply to her advances made her feel like a stupid, entitled child.
She felt so bad she didn’t even know what else to say. But then, as she looked at Joey, she saw something similar. She saw inside him. She saw something broken, something that had no place in the life of someone who should have been happy and carefree like him.
That’s when Flaminia understood that Joey had, perhaps, simply gotten to know himself better than she had ever known herself.
"Alright," Joey smiled and put his hand inside his bag of holding. "I’ve had a few spares made because I suspected more people would have already joined me by now. This one should fit you."
Joey tossed her a white garment.
"What's this?" Flaminia cleared her voice, cleaning the snot from her nose with her new fancy dress.
"A uniform," Joey laughed, "for team Joey, if you remember your ass getting kicked."
Flaminia looked at the thing with a frown and then looked up at Joey.
"Why? What am I supposed to do with this?"
"Cook," Joey replied nonchalantly.
"What?"
"Well, I have been thinking about some stuff," Joey said in an almost evil voice, "and I came to the conclusion that if one can put runes on people, why not try to do the same with food?"
Comments
John Grizzly
Enchanted cupcakes, health pot chocolate bars. Dragsons breath Chilli poppers, winters chilled sorbet.
Kaine
Joey Cooking fr (pun intended)
