PATRIARCH FOWL
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Casual Heroing, Chapter 212
🕑 Added 2023-11-13 20:19:36 +0000 UTCYour [hopefully] favorite writer has returned!
I've been dealing with some [hopefully minor] health concerns, among other things, so you'll have to do with three chapters this week instead of four. Hopefully, after my visit on Wednesday and some tests later this week or next week, I'll be able to put all my head fully back in Casual Heroing instead of having hypochondriac episodes because of the public healthcare system and its terrible slowness. As soon as I clear up this issue, I'll splurge with a 7-chapter week!
That being said, I'm back and I hope you'll enjoy your chapter!
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BAKING WHAT?! PT. 2 👑👑👑
Next chapter comes out November 15th!
1/3 chapters this week!
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Chapter 212 – Baking Princess, Part 2
“This is the kitchen floor,” I explain to the [Princess]. The very essence of my surroundings seems to have shifted with her presence; the usual kitchen hum is now accentuated by palpable anticipation. I find my gaze involuntarily drawn to her refined features, but I quickly avert my eyes.
Thankfully, the Royal Guard agreed to guard the building and not bother my staff. It's but a small mercy given the intense aura of awe radiating from everyone as they glimpse the [Princess] navigating through their domain with undeniable grace.
Suddenly, the familiar sound of hurried footsteps approaches, and Clodia rushes towards us, her eyes widening in recognition and disbelief.
“[Princess] Laurealia?!” she exclaims, her complexion paling noticeably.
The [Princess] turns to Clodia, her expression measured as she responds, “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”
Clodia hesitates for a moment, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her face before she answers, “I—I’ve had the honor of witnessing your presence many years ago when I accompanied my mother to Aethereum—Aureamanus?”
At the mention of the name, a subtle shift occurred in [Princess] Laurealia’s demeanor. She scrutinizes Clodia carefully, her gaze penetrating as she assesses the young woman standing before her. The air around us seems to grow heavier, charged with a newfound respect emanating from the [Princess].
“Your mother is a great woman,” [Princess] Laurealia says, nodding her head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember our encounter. I hope I will be able to make up for this slight through hard work.”
Clodia frowns and looks at me for answers.
“Huh, the [Princess] is our new employee.”
Clodia almost fell to the ground and needed a moment to collect herself after hearing that.
“If you can get Camilla and the others to the conference room, we can discuss this new development, Clodia, ok? I don’t want to recount the whole story every time. I’ll bring the [Princess] up and figure out something in the meanwhile.”
The muscled [Baker] nods listlessly, still staring at Laurealia.
We begin walking toward the stairs, trying to avoid making this a bigger mess than it already is when Laurealia stops dead in her tracks, and I almost tackle her.
“Hello,” she says to the tallest Elf in Aurora’s Bakery—Stan. “Nice to meet you.”
Stan raises an eyebrow and then looks at his hands full of flour before cleaning one onto his oversized pink apron and shaking the [Princess]’s hand.
Oh, shit. This is the main quest, isn’t it?
...
I close the door to the conference room behind us and take out a plate with some pastries, cookies, and a few squares of chocolate.
“Amorium has really started eating their Pigfeed,” Laurealia states tiredly, “Humans...”
“We have,” I smile back, “and I think, [Princess], that we should straighten up a few things so that your stay here isn’t too painful for you and me. For that sake, please go ahead and try the ‘pigfeed.’ We call it chocolate. That one has some hazelnuts in it.”
The [Princess] sighs before taking up a square of chocolate, giving it a sniff, and popping it into her mouth. I can see that she immediately raises her eyebrows before trying to reel from the shock.
“I know, pretty good,” I smile again, trying not to let this woman get under my skin. So far, it appears she’s wildly racist, but at least she’s more polite than the late Plinius and that piece of crap Appius.
She unceremoniously takes another square and looks like someone who will never bring up their skepticism toward chocolate ever again.
“You haven’t given me any details about this whole situation, and you just said hi to Stanimal. Mind telling me why’s that?”
“Stanimal?”
“The tall guy, about seven feet, with lots of white hair?”
Laurealia looks at the sweets on the table and helps herself to a cookie.
“He looked interesting. That is all.”
“Christ,” I groan. “Listen, I’m not stupid, alright? I mean, not anymore. I’ve been stupid for a while. Now, I’m trying to do better. So, how do you know Stan? And yes, that’s his name.”
“Human, you don’t want me to answer that question. I dowant to tell you, but just because that would put you on the shorter list for summary execution. Do you still want me to tell you why?”
“Well, question.”
“Yes?”
“This execution... would it be your carrying it out?”
“Happily,” she says in her growly voice.
She’s pretty hot, I won’t lie. But nope. Irene. Irene. Irene.
“Good. Just asking. No ulterior motives, no sir.”
“This operation of yours...” Laurealia circles her finger around the room. “The Elves work for you.”
“Yes.”
“Elves.”
“Yes, [Princess],” I say in a mock tone, “the big, bad Human has given jobs to Elves and opened a – dramatic pause – bakery! Gasp! Shock! Terrible!”
The [Princess]’s metal gauntlet shrieks as she balls it into a fist and gives me a meaningful glance.
“What? If you want to ask stupid questions, you will get stupid answers. You hate Humans—guess what? Everyone here hates Humans. It’s not very rebellious of you.”
“Not my family,” she growls.
“Alright, good to know? But I’m telling you, very few people in Amorium are fond of me. Even those who are… it wasn’t super easy to convince them I’m not a piece of shit, ok? I have enough troubles without you plopping yourself in here like this. Now, I’m elated we can use your image to Elf-wash our business, ok? I don’t want my people to go bankrupt. Plus, I’ve promised many friends in the Pratus that we would pay off their [Vow: Debt of Honor].”
“I’ve seen the reports. Are you trying to build up a militia for some nefarious purpose?”
“Oh, yeah. The most nefarious of the nefariousest. I’m trying to make sweets.”
“Do you consider yourself amusing, Human? You don’t think I’ve seen your kind? You think the [Diplomats] of your kind are not equally good at offering the sweetest of fruits?”
“[Princess], respectfully, I don’t give a fuck, ok? You want to walk out, be my guest. I’ll even ask your father not to make a mess out of this. I’m sure there are better ways for me to resolve this crisis that don’t entail you creating a huge mess of this place.”
“Excuse me?” The [Princess] frowns.
“I had a whole mob in front of my bakery this morning. They think that Flaminia, my best [Chef], and I killed my girlfriend’s brother. You might see how that’s pretty messed up, right? So, I really don’t want to suffer through any more of this mess. Can we do that?”
“Human—”
“Joey. If you want to work with me, my name is Joey Luciani.”
“Joey Luciani,” the woman’s voice is laced with poison, “I cannot disobey my Royal Father’s orders.”
“Alrighty, then,” I sigh, trying to figure out what’s the best course of action here.
So, I guess if the Royal Family is sending me their [Princess], they are not the ones who killed Plinius.
Perhaps. Politics can be very tangled. Its waters are muddy and treacherous.
Well, let’s cut to the chase then.
“[Princess], do you know who killed Plinius by any chance?”
The woman looks at me like I’m stupid.
“No? You don’t need to stare at me like that.”
“Why would my family kill someone to frame you and then have me come here?”
“Ok, ok. No attitude needed,” I say, scratching my chin, “any guesses on who would be up for it?”
“The Valerii could benefit from ruining you since they hate Aureamanus. Same for the military. Both of them together, actually.”
Wait, didn’t we see Plinius together with an old woman and some middle-aged guy on the day of the duel? Was that the [General]? And the woman...
The current head of the Gens Valeria, young Luciani.
Oh, shit. Maybe...
“Are you in the habit of staring at people and not saying anything?” The [Princess] says disgusted.
“Ah, right. Sorry about that. I get lost in my thoughts a bit too easily.”
“Well, I guess I’ll need to have a chat with [Lady] Diana. Man, what a weird name.”
“Wretched, yes,” Laurealia says, agreeing with me for the first time today.
"Kind of hot, though," I say before my brain can register what words actually came out of my mouth.
"If that's your taste in women, I'd rather stay away from your partners. Do you even know what she does for a living?"
"Wait, how do you know?" I frown.
"The Scarlet Hunter – she's one big hunt from a Named Adventurer position. And it's mostly a formality."
"Yo, you didn't answer. Is this some childhood drama that got dragged into adult life?"
"It's none of your business," the [Princess] growls.
She makes a lot of weird sounds. It's almost cute. Or at least, it would be if she wouldn't enjoy putting a sword through my head—not that cats are much different, I guess. And cats are cute. Cute killing machines...
"So, Luciani, what is your plan?" The [Princess] asks.
"Well, first of all, I need you to take off that armor."
"Excuse me?!"
Comments
Abe Elliott
Thanks for the chapter
