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Chapter 174 - The Light of the Forest

🕑 Added 2021-01-15 13:00:04 +0000 UTC

Comments

Perizou

Thanks for the corrections! I changed the water to light, I used liquid in the following sentence and it feels a drag to keep reading the same words over and over. I loved the Placate idea, it feels more, 'systemy'

Aldous Russell

Thanks! I think "first time I see this" should be "I've seen". I think "dripping water" should be "liquid". "cut of" should be "off". I think "once more. The" would be better as "more, the", as the next sentence has "seeping.. moving" and feels like a continuation. I think "took care of took longer" should be "took longer". "stamped" should be "stampede". I feel like "calm down" might be better as "placate", but it's not wrong. I think "just a notification" should be "a notification". "might foe" should be "mighty". I think "picked something from" would be better as "picked up" or "something up".


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