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Chapter 217 - Wooly Plains

🕑 Added 2021-03-31 13:00:06 +0000 UTC

Comments

Perizou

Thanks for the corrections! I messed up the sky ruler thing my bad. The 'so help me mountain' would be the same as 'so help me god' for the dwarves, so adding the or A felt weird. I capitalized Mountain to make it look less... odd

Aldous Russell

Thanks! Should "sky ruler" be capitalized? It looks like you've got a mixture. "they only have been" should be "they had only been". "would e roaming" should be "be". "How does it look like" should be "What". I think "Its beaks are" should be "Their beaks are" or "Its beak is". I think "so help me mountain" would be better as "so help the mountain" or "so help me, by the mountain". I think "none of you" should maybe be "neither", if she's talking about Blue and Hera. "route out" should be "root out". I think "sheep being" might be better as "sheep-being" or "sheep, being". "and the dwarves" should be "humans". "the face of the team" should be "faces". "It's not great" should be "it's". "those things" should be "these".

RRoss

I think the pacing makes sense.

GuyWhoReadsALot

SO SLOW!!!! TWO CHAPTERS FOR THEM TO WALK INTO A DOOR. That 50 years the character mentions is pretty quick compared to the pace of this story.


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