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Chapter 233 - Next hunt

🕑 Added 2021-04-28 13:00:06 +0000 UTC

Comments

Perizou

Thanks for the corrections! I though about putting a comma in the 'After he level up,' but the line seemed long. I kept hearing the voice of my high school teacher going 'don't make sentences too long or I'll give you an F'

Perizou

I can't for the life of me tell where my head was when I put 'dear' lol Thanks for the corrections!

Aldous Russell

Thanks! I think "will it consider a fail?" would be better as "consider it a fail". "smell ascent" should be "a scent". "woods she spent so much time on" should be "in". I think "after her level up. All the way" would be better as a comma. I think "to an insistent sound" should be "to the". I think "controlled those animals were" should be "these... was". I think "its fist... on his way" should maybe be "his fist... in his way". I think "slammed the weapons" should be "slammed the weapon down".

Mike G.

Interesting, thanks! "smell ascent" -> "smell a scent", "a dear" -> "a deer"


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