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Chapter 261 - Third Legacy piece

🕑 Added 2021-06-16 13:00:06 +0000 UTC

Comments

Perizou

Thanks for the corrections and sorry it took a little while to go through them. I had a weird couple of days.

Aldous Russell

Thanks! I think "gave it the feeling of looking" might be better as "gave her the feeling". "Only when the shaped clouds got closer that she noticed" should be "It was only when..." "hit her arm and sent" should be "send". I think "Each feather seemed deliberate to push" would be better as "intended" or "seemed to deliberately push". I think "enough room to breathe to run" would be better as "enough breathing room to run" or "enough time to run". "The Sky Ruler, noticed" shouldn't have a comma. I think "eyes went to her left before opening a big smile" should be "before she broke into a big smile". "All of them ... around their head" should be "Each of them" or "heads". "They still wore it... it was rare for it to actually be used" should be "wore them... for them to...". I think "moving away from Blue. For that to work" would be better without the full stop. "Not only she had to get the Sky Ruler's attention" should be "Not only did she have to". "the sky ruler" should be "Sky Ruler". I think "Without anyone noticing, the sky ruler was shifting" should be "had shifted", since it seems Hera has noticed now? I think "Blue was a small peak" should be "Blue was on a small peak".


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