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Chapter 247 - Starved Ruler

🕑 Added 2021-05-23 13:01:02 +0000 UTC

Comments

Perizou

Thanks for the corrections!

Aldous Russell

Ooh, pet griffons. ^__^

Aldous Russell

Thanks! "placed the debuff in the monster" should be "on". I think "She charged the spell for half an hour, but during the last 10 minutes, about" would be better as "She had charged the spell for half an hour, but, during the last 10 minutes, about". I think "was a considerable damage" would be better as "was considerable damage". "Three red bullseye" should be "bullseyes". I think "on the griffon’s throat" would be better as "into". I think "to keep their attacks" should be "keep up". "This is, bad" shouldn't have a comma. If she's struggling for breath, ellipses would work, I think. "she had in a long time" should be "she had had". I think "feel that the poison... getting stronger" might be better as "feel the poison..." or "was getting stronger". I think "in a less dangerous environment" might be better as "at a less dangerous speed", since I don't think she's intending to move it or change the environment? "Turn around" is missing punctuation (full stop or exclamation mark). "tripped into a rock" should be "over". I think "some hit cut" should be "hit and cut" or "hit" or "cut".

Mike G.

Griffon whistle, *interesting*!!! Good fight, thanks!


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