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Chapter 250 - Bloodbeak

🕑 Added 2021-05-28 13:00:06 +0000 UTC

Comments

Perizou

Thanks for the corrections! I liked that idea for the catalogue, but I didn't use 'Ablate' since I had to look it up what it meant. I'm gonna go on a limb and say that I'm not the only one who would need to do that lol

Aldous Russell

Thanks! I think "but what if..." should have a question mark. "It had long arms and a short leg" should be "and short legs". I think "Their heads were filled with small horns" should be "covered". "Its claws" should be "their" (consistency). "and send off a flaming poison rain" should be "sent". "by its companion body" should be "companion's". "made some of the scales to fall" should be "scales fall". "where she yet to hit" should be "where she had yet to hit". "her fist in the monster's head" should be "into". If you're trying to make the catalogue descriptions more formal you could change "its scales can be shaved off to reduce the damage caused by impacts" to "its scales ablate to mitigate impact damage", or something. "Bloodbeaks things" should be "Bloodbeak things". "Aren't the things here like, starving" should have a question mark. "circled its eyes" should be "their". I think "didn't seem to land properly on solid ground" might be better as "couldn't". "feasting in its body" should be "on".


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