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Chapter 434 - Misunderstanding
🕑 Added 2022-04-15 13:00:10 +0000 UTC"Hey, there, beautiful," Hera smiled as she found Silah in her home forge. It was a small workshop that her family used when they weren't working with the guard. The place was very different from the forge that Hera was used to. For one, it had a lot more personality than a place made with efficiency in mind. In a way, it felt like her dad's workshop, a place where people who really loved their craft could focus and learn new techniques or try to make something unique. Covering the walls, there were things like their son's first work or her brother's best armor. Things that they seem to be proud of. Yet, she couldn't see anything that was made by Silah.
"Hera!" Silah gasped and rushed to give her girlfriend a hug. The two stayed there for a while, just embracing each other and enjoying the moment.
About two minutes later, Silah pulled a chair for Hera to sit on, and they started talking. Despite the fights they were having, Now that they were together, everything seemed OK. Hera talked about all the things she saw during her trip, how she saw the moon and how it was to cross the wall. She wasn't the only one with some news. Silah had figured out a few different ways to make weapons, and she was starting to sell them to the guild. Even Kahala was starting to praise her armor-making skills.
"She says that but she still doesn't let me give armor to anyone or sell it," Silah sighed.
"It's probably because she thinks that your name is associated with her. So having someone who is learning from her give away some armor that is not up to her standards would look bad for her," Hera was caressing Silah's head.
"Maybe, but it's still frustrating. I managed to make an epic armor, and she still told me it was mostly trash."
"Ouch, that seems rough. I don't know what to say. It just sucks."
"Yeah, but everything is better now. You are here, and you won't be going on such a long trip again," Silah snuggled on Hera's chest.
"Not at the moment, no. But Alex kinda got hit by a curse, and we have to figure out a way to help her. She might have found a place that could do something to help, but that's very far away."
"What? You… Are you going to go away again? For how long this time?!" Silah got up and stared at Hera.
"I'm not saying I'm gonna go away now but eventually, yeah. I don't think it will be just a day. I'll stay here for a while, but someday I'll go on a long trip again. We talked about this. I'm not gonna stay here all the time. I'm not saying I'm going to abandon you, and you're more than free to come with me on any of the trips, but this is my dream. I came here to explore. I wanna find new things, new dungeons, and rooms. Staying in the same place for too long is not the life that I want for me," Hera explained calmly, trying not to rile Silah up even more.
"No. I know you're not gonna stay here, but I figured you would be like a day or two away. Not that you will be leaving me for, I don't know. Months? Years? How long do you think it would be enough?"
"It's not about being long enough. It's about doing what I want to do or finding what I want to find. Sometimes it may be a quick trip. Like, I go in a day and come back in the next one. Other times it will be longer. Like this time. I didn't know how long it would take. It's not…. it's not about me not wanting to be with you, Silah. Just like you do with your blacksmithing, I'm just following my dream," Hera reached out for Silah's hand, but the dwarf stepped away.
"How is that fair? You can follow your dream, but I can't follow mine? Even if I go with you, how am I supposed to make new weapons? Make armor? Study? figure out new things?"
"You don't need to be here to do that. Almost every guild has a forge, and they just let people use it or rent it for a couple days, weeks, or months. Hell, in the room where Alex and I stayed, dozens of workshops advertised leases for however long you needed. You don't have to be here to work on a forge. There are a lot of crafters that just wander around to learn new skills or just be like traveling repair shops."
Silah rolled her eyes, "That doesn't help. What if I want to learn from someone that's gonna take a long time like I'm doing with Kahala? That thing where you just figure it out on your own without having somebody to support me doesn't work for me. I need help if I want to improve."
Hera rubbed her eyes, "Look, I'm just trying to find something that you may be OK with, but you need to meet me halfway. It doesn't work if I'm the only one sacrificing what I want to do. We both need to be in this together. If you don't want to come on my trips, that's fine. We can talk on the phone, have video calls, and talk every day. I'll try to make these trips as far away as possible from one another and not waste too much time doing whatever I need to be doing. But just like I'm never gonna ask you to stop being a blacksmith because of me, please don't ask me not to be an explorer because of you."
"Having you spend so much time away from you made me realize some things. Even if we figure this out and manage to find a way so both of us can follow our dreams, what about the future? In the best-case scenario, we spend the rest of your life together, and I'm still gonna be here long after you are gone. We have been together for just over a year, and it already hurt so much when you weren't here that I can't imagine it being any easier later," Silah sighed.
Hera didn't have an answer to that. She had thought about that before. When she starts growing older and sees Silah still young, wasting her life with someone who couldn't keep up anymore. How would she feel? That was something that weighed on her mind. In reality, Hera had accepted that they probably wouldn't be a couple that would have their happily ever after. But she still loved her girlfriend so much, and she wanted to do everything in her power to make her happy.
After a moment of silence that felt like hours to both of them, Silah spoke once more, "I love you, Hera, I really do. But, I think it's better if we go separate ways. I hated how miserable I was while you were just trying to travel, and I hate that I'm so possessive. I hate that I'm trying to force you to be with me, even if that's not what you want to do. I know you're gonna say that you want to be with me, but you want to travel more than you want to be with me. And I get that. I'm the same. If the choice is staying with you or being a blacksmith, I'm gonna choose to be a blacksmith. I'm not saying that we couldn't balance it out and figure something together. It would be hard, but we could, but it may not be worth it. I'm afraid that when you get old, for your standards at least. When you are already turning gray, maybe even starting to look like Risli, we are gonna start resenting each other. Or maybe hating ourselves for what we're doing to each other. I might think that I didn't give you a chance to grow old with someone, and if I don't want to be with you anymore, breaking up will be like I'm abandoning you when you might need some help. And you might feel like you're holding me from doing things that I want," Silah let out a long sigh and stopped. Tears were already forming in her eyes, " I don't see a happy ending in our future, and I don't think it's fair to either of us to waste time on something that will just bring us pain."
Hera started crying, not because she was angry but because she couldn't say anything against what Silah was saying, "Silah…."
"No, no, no, just listen for a moment. In the best-case scenario, you're gonna live to what? 100, 120? That is generous. I looked it up. Most humans who go past 85 are just awful. And those who pass 100, I don't think you could call that living anymore. Let's say I stay with you until you die. I'll still have two times the life you had. I'm not saying your life won't be fulfilling, but mine will be almost two times longer. I'll have to live without you and restart my life, hoping to find someone that I love again, and most dwarves already have like, a life partner when they reach 100," Silah started to ramble as more tears came down her face.
"Silah…" Hera got up.
"Look, I love you, and I wish you all the best. I just know that I'm not the best for you, and I don't think it's right for me to be selfish in this situation," Silah started pacing around while speaking, not looking at Hera.
"Silah!" Hera grabbed the blacksmith's hand, forcing her to look at her, "I understand. I love you very much, but I can't argue with what you're saying," Hera started to cry even more, "It's OK."
They stayed inside the workshop for another hour, crying, talking, and apologizing for things that didn't even make sense. When they both felt like they had talked about everything, Hera got up and walked toward the door. The longer she stayed here, the harder it would be for her to leave.
"I hope someday, in the future, we can hang out as friends," Hera turned to Silah.
"Me too. Oh, and I forgot to ask. Did you find what you were looking for?"
Hera sniffed while she cleaned a few tears from her face, "Yeah. But that is a big conversation. I'll tell you about it the next time we talk. I don't think I have the energy to explain all that mess," she chuckled.
Silah nodded, "I'm happy for you. I'm glad the trip was good."
Hera just gave her a weak smile and left. She did everything she could to stop herself from crying while walking in the street. It didn't matter if the dwarves were going to respect that or not. The last thing she ever wanted right now was some stranger coming to her and asking her if she was OK. In fact, even going back to her house didn't seem like a good idea. Hera knew that everybody would ask questions, and it would be a whole thing. For the first time, in she didn't even know how long, going to her father's house actually seemed like a good idea to get some support in a situation like this.
Hera activated her [Hide] while getting there, trying to avoid being seen by anyone who could want to talk to her or tell her friends where she went. But one piece of information completely escaped her mind. When she knocked on the door, it wasn't her dad who answered but Bonnie's mom, which Hera had only seen through pictures. She was very similar to Bonnie. They both had the same lips, the same tiny nose, and the same intense eyes. However, unlike the researcher, she had long black hair tied in a single large braid going all the way to her waist.
"Hi there. You're Hera, right?" the woman asked.
"Yeah... Is my dad. I mean, Eridan here?"
"Yeah," the woman turned back and yelled, "Eri, your daughter is here," she turned back to Hera, "Please come in. I know you are much more at home than I am."
"Thank you…. Sorry, I don't remember your name. You are Bonnie's mom, right?" Hera asked.
"Yep. But you can call me Renette."
"Nice to meet you…." Hera couldn't think about saying anything else. In the end, she just stood there by the door for a few moments until her dad appeared.
"Goldilocks? You're back! I missed you," Eridan rushed over and gave Hera a big hug.
"I'll make some tea. Or do you want coffee?" Renette asked.
"Tea would be great," Hera replied without looking up. Eridan just nodded and waved Renette off, without even looking at her. It was the first time she came home, and her father paid more attention to her than whoever else was in the house. Even if it was someone he didn't know for long, this act was the straw that broke her back. Hera just started crying on her father's shoulder without saying another word.
