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MAZE - Chapter 1056 - Behind the mountain

🕑 Added 2025-05-16 01:45:18 +0000 UTC

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aToTeT

something, killing <-extraneous comma life. Aside from <- Technically fine (though it leaves the latter a fragment), but it’s a very full stop for what could be a comma connecting two short sentences that have much to do with each other… … and the preceding sentence of the edge of the crack in the desert is very short as well (not the end of the world, but it feels like quite a long pause in breath for what it amounts to: a fragment)… And I could really just keep going I think, so I’ll stop. The whole latter half of the paragraph could do with a looksie… and there are quite a lot of short sentences in general on a quick examination down the page; many of them fragmentary. Great morphological technique in high stakes heart pounding circumstances… but these don’t feel like those, so it just reads… a bit choppy. Possibility: I’ve been neck deep in footnotes all day, with my toes dipped in fermented apple juice all night—could be I’m under the influence of my own editing process! Hope you’re having a lovely… whatever time of day you’re having!


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