Zeenon
patreon
Yes, I Sat on the Table. What Are You Going to Do, Danzo?
🕑 Added 2025-06-27 11:07:38 +0000 UTCAs they continued moving toward the Hokage’s office, Ren kept talking. It was mostly one-sided chatter, with Utakata giving short, dry responses that didn’t exactly count as a conversation, but that didn’t bother Ren at all, he was used to it by now so he carried on without pause.
When they arrived, they were informed that the meeting was being held in the council chamber instead. They redirected accordingly.
On the way, Ren glanced sideways and asked, “Sensei, do you know why they’re making such a big deal out of this?”
He had a hunch it was Yoru's doing, but still asked just in case.
Utakata gave a thoughtful hum. “Hmm, I wonder why. Have you done something weird again?”
Ren briefly thought over recent events as they reached the meeting hall. Before he could try anything strange after walking in ahead of Utakata his teacher knocked on the door first.
“Come in,” Hiruzen’s voice called from inside.
Utakata opened the door and led Ren in. What came into view looked less like a meeting and more like a battlefield.
A large, rectangular table stretched across the hall, surrounded by a full assembly, all the clan heads, the Hokage’s advisors, some high-ranking officials Ren didn’t recognize, and of course, at the head of the table, sat Hiruzen Sarutobi. The old man wore his usual gentle smile and greeted him with a light chuckle.
“Hoho. I hope you are in good health, Ren.”
Ren raised a peace sign. “Same to you, Gramps. You need good health more than I do, though.”
A few muffled chuckles escaped from the room, though the atmosphere remained mostly serious. Hiruzen’s lips twitched at the response.
Utakata quickly took Ren by the collar and guided him to the opposite end of the table, directly across from Hiruzen so they could see eye to eye. He himself took a seat among the group of random officials.
Then came another problem, the table was enormous. From where Ren stood, only his head was visible, which made for a mildly comical sight though not to him. His height, or the lack of it, was the one thing that actually bothered him.
What if I don’t grow past 5’5”? What if I just stay short forever? These were recurring thoughts.
Hiruzen, too, noticed the issue. He had assumed Ren would’ve grown more by now, at least enough to see over the table comfortably but with only his head visible and it looked ridiculous. Before the Hokage could suggest a chair or a platform, Ren jumped up and sat on the table itself, legs crossed. Then he casually scanned the room to see if anyone dared laugh.
Before the meeting could proceed, a cold voice cut through the silence.
Danzo, seated on Hiruzen’s right, spoke up.
“What is this tomfoolery? This is the council hall where important decisions are made. And you expect to be promoted to Jonin while making jokes and treating this as entertainment?”
Ren looked at Danzo for a moment, assessing. When he first arrived in this world, he had been extremely cautious around the man, like every transmigrator is, by default, but over time, that caution had faded.
Danzo’s only real threat was to his loved ones, but once Ren realized how strong his father truly was, even that worry had mostly evaporated. Now, he didn’t fear Danzo. If anything, he welcomed him. The Root shinobi made for excellent live target practice.
He tilted his head, staring directly at the old war hawk.
“I don’t understand,” Ren said flatly. “Would you rather have spoken to what looked like a floating head, or a full person sitting at your level?”
Danzo snorted. “You think you’re someone who can sit at my level?”
Ren shook his head. “No. But that’s your job, isn’t it? As one of the Hokage’s advisors, you’re supposed to ensure these meetings run smoothly, but that didn’t happen and now look at this. I’m literally above your level.”
To prove his point, he raised a hand and generated a thin chakra string, which floated just above Danzo’s head. Then he traced it visually and added, “See? I’m above you.”
He removed his sunglasses, his bright blue eyes locking directly onto Danzo or more precisely, onto the bandages covering the man’s right eye.
Then, with no concern for the rising tension, Ren continued, “You know, there are a lot of good medics in the village. You should really get your eye checked out. And that arm too. It’s not a good look if one of the village’s elders seems weak, right?”
He leaned forward, voice soft but audible, “I dabble in medical ninjutsu. I could take a look. Or maybe Utakata-sensei can.”
Then he snapped his fingers lightly. “Oh, right! I met Lady Tsunade not long ago. Amazing healer, that one. I was almost dead, and she pulled me back. She could definitely ‘heal’ you.”
He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Or maybe you don’t want to be healed? Got any secrets? Tell me. I’m great at keeping secrets.”
A wave of killing intent swept from Danzo’s direction, heavy and cold.
Before it could escalate further, Hiruzen coughed into his hand. “That’s enough, young Ren. Elder Danzo is an elder of the village and your senior, he has served it loyally for many years. He deserves your respect.”
The old man’s voice was calm, but his tone was serious.
Ren stood up, still on the table and gave an overly dramatic bow, bending low as he looked down at Danzo from his high perch. His voice was apologetic, but his eyes carried just the right amount of mockery.
“Oh my. I’m so sorry if my words hurt you, Elder Danzo. I just wanted to show that I’m capable of speaking clearly and confidently. I was also able to rile up an experienced elder like Elder Danzo with words alone. I was taught that’s a valuable skill for a Jonin, after all.”
Danzo said nothing, but the pressure of his killing intent didn’t fade. Not that it mattered, Ren remained completely unaffected.
At that moment, Shikaku Nara stood up with a tired yawn and scratched the back of his head.
“I think that’s enough for the opening act. Let’s begin the actual discussion regarding the Jonin promotion of Chunin Ren.”
As the topic was formally brought up, Ren raised a hand and interjected first. “So, I got a question.”
He glanced at Hiruzen as he spoke, and the old man gave him a patient nod, signaling him to continue.
“I know I’m great,” Ren began, tone casual, “but I don’t really understand the fuss about so many of you showing up. Is it really that big of a deal to be promoted to jonin at eleven? Wasn’t Kakashi-kun promoted around the same age?”
As he said that, his eyes shifted to one of the ceiling corners where Kakashi was concealed. The moment Ren’s gaze landed on him, Kakashi flinched slightly, like a reflexive memory had just kicked him in the gut.
Hiruzen chuckled lightly, then corrected him, “First off, he’s Kakashi-senpai to you, and second, how do you know there wasn’t just as much ‘fuss’ back then?”
Ren shrugged. “Because the village wasn’t in a position to throw a big fuss at the time. The Third Shinobi War was at its peak. No way the village could afford to gather this many high-ranking, army captain level shinobi in one room.”
Hiruzen gave a pleased smile. “Then don’t you have your answer? It’s peacetime now, and during peace, promoting an eleven-year-old to jonin, an age where most don’t even pass the academy is a notable event. It’s worth making a fuss.”
With that, he gave a small nod to Shikaku, who rubbed his eyes and began his formal address.
“Hm, Chunin Ren participated in the most recent Chunin Exams held in Konoha and not only passed, but broke multiple records and secured first place overall.”
Shikaku yawned mid-sentence but carried on lazily, “Following the exam, he was inducted into the ANBU and has been on active duty ever since. During his time as a shinobi, Ren has completed 38 B-rank missions, 73 A-rank missions, and 4 S-rank missions.”
A few quiet murmurs broke out across the table at the numbers. It wasn’t uncommon for shinobi to reach those counts during wartime. But now, in peacetime, each mission was carefully evaluated, no handouts, no inflated records. An S-rank in peace was earned and four of them? That made heads turn.
Only a handful of those present knew that two of those S-rank missions were related to Ren’s confrontation with Obito Uchiha. If the rest of the council had known that, the murmurs would’ve turned into outright disbelief.
Hiashi Hyuga raised a hand and calmly interjected, “As far as I recall, the number of missions alone isn’t sufficient for a jonin promotion.”
Shikaku gave a tired sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, yeah, don’t be so impatient. I didn’t sleep well last night, so I might be slow. If that’s too much trouble, I’m happy to dump my work on you.”
Ren snickered at that. Hiashi’s face turned cold, but he didn’t reply.
Unbothered, Shikaku continued, “The second factor is leadership ability. During his time as a shinobi, aside from serving as deputy for his Genin team, Ren has led fifteen different squads on various missions.”
Some unimpressed faces around the table didn’t react much, so Shikaku added, “I know the number may seem low. But every squad he led was a jonin-level unit tasked with A-rank missions. And this” he held up a folder, “is their evaluation.”
He passed the reports forward. Each person at the table received a copy.
Meanwhile, Ren casually scooted towards Fugaku, who was seated nearby, hoping to glance at his copy. But the Uchiha patriarch immediately pulled the paper away, narrowing his eyes.
Ren reached out, tried to tug the report from his grasp. Fugaku didn’t let go. Soon, the two were silently locked in a miniature tug-of-war, each subtly reinforcing the paper with chakra.
Utakata, trying to stay focused on reading his own report, looked up and froze. The spectacle before him nearly made him drop his page. Ren and Fugaku were glaring at each other, locked in an absurd chakra-fueled battle over a single sheet of paper like schoolchildren fighting over a lunchbox.
Eventually, both of them paused, silently nodded at each other in apparent truce, and looked down to read together.
Then, without warning, Ren snatched the paper and scooted back to his original position, grinning smugly.
Fugaku’s three-tomoe Sharingan spun into view as he half-rose from his chair, ready to leap onto the table, only to immediately sit back down when Hiruzen lowered his own report and glanced his way.
Ren stuck out his tongue. Fugaku looked ready to burn the council chamber down with sheer frustration.
Utakata quickly reached out and pulled Ren closer to himself, creating a safe buffer zone between the two and defusing the momentary chaos.
Peace was momentarily restored.
Shikaku, who had also witnessed the little tug-of-war earlier, cleared his throat and spoke once the attention returned to him.
“As you’ve read,” he began, “all the jonin who served under Chunin Ren have consistently praised his leadership and mission performance. Many reports emphasize his information gathering skills, in fact, some even said his intel made difficult missions feel like mere formalities. There isn’t a single complaint or disciplinary issue recorded.”
Before the momentum could build further, Danzo interjected, voice cold and steady. “If his information gathering is so exceptional,” he said, “then he should share his methods with the village. Everyone would benefit from such an asset.”
It was clear he was trying to put Ren on the defensive. The comment itself wasn’t about intel, it was a veiled jab, and only a few at the table knew exactly what Danzo was really referring to.
Ren, however, didn’t even glance his way. He casually continued reading his evaluation sheet before responding in a casual tone.
“You’re overpraising me, Elder Danzo. My skills aren’t that great. I mean” He finally looked up, locking eyes with the old warhawk. “I was attacked by a dozen black-cloaked, masked men, and I still haven’t found out who sent them.”
He smiled lightly, but his voice had gone sharp with undertone. “Once I do find them, I’d really like to ask why they sent such weaklings to die. It’s almost like whoever gave the order didn’t care whether their subordinates lived or died, wouldn’t you agree, Elder Danzo?”
The atmosphere in the room changed immediately. Several of the older clan heads tensed.
Danzo met Ren’s stare and gave a slow, measured nod.
“If you couldn’t even trace your own would-be assassins,” he said, voice dry, “then your so-called information gathering skills shouldn’t be considered reliable. And without those skills, what kind of jonin could you possibly be?”
Ren shook his head slightly, almost like he pitied him. “Oh, it’s not like I don’t have any leads. I killed them all, remember?”
He said this with a light smile and too calmly for the words he was saying.
“I already sent their bodies to the Commander. He told me there was a really advanced seal on them. Probably crafted by a level 6 Fuinjutsu master, which is rare everywhere in the whole world.”
As he spoke, Ren reached into his pocket, pulled out a pencil, and began sketching something on the piece of paper.
“I’m still studying it, trying to break it down. Once I do, it should be pretty easy to trace whoever ordered my assassination. But hey, Elder Danzo, if you want to help, I’d be really grateful.”
He held up the sketch so everyone could see it, an exact replica of Root’s seal.
“Here, look at this. This part blocks memory-reading jutsu, this section here reflects the seal to anyone who tries to tamper with the mind.”
He pointed to a section with casual precision, “and this little guy right here? This one detonates instantly if the seal bearer speaks about anything they aren’t supposed to. Boom. No questions asked.”
He leaned back and smiled. “A really well-made seal. Truly elite craftsmanship.”
The room had fallen dead silent.
Many of the clan heads and elders were now quietly staring at Danzo. Nobody said his name aloud, but they didn’t need to. Everyone knew who Ren was pointing at. The tension was thick enough to cut with a kunai.
But, as expected, Hiruzen intervened before it went any further. His voice was even, but held just enough weight to remind the room of where they were.
“You should have brought this matter to me sooner, young Ren,” the Hokage said. “I’ll have personnel look into it immediately, and I’ll personally examine the seal myself.”
He didn’t look at Danzo. No one did anymore.
“Now then,” Hiruzen continued, tone shifting slightly, “let’s move on to the next requirement, shall we?”
~~~~~
{I got tired of making Ren vary of Danzo when he isn't even worth that much so from now on both Ren and Danzo would be having full blown fights, verbal of course.}
Comments
David Jordan
I really love how Ren responds to everyone. Hopefully his hardening of the skin technique doesn't stunt his growth lol.
