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Epic Mess
🕑 Added 2025-07-09 14:28:05 +0000 UTC“NEXT!” Nick yelled, watching as a broad-chested unicorn farmboy dipped his head in shame and departed from the laboratory he had set up in the Cave of the Ancients. The rat wizard, vizier of the King and notably devious archmage, had been tasked with making sure nobody did anything funny with the Blade of Interminable Legend.
...which is why he was, of course, trying to do something funny with it himself. He padded over to the blade buried deep in a crystalline structure, rereading the glyphs that detailed the blade’s legend. “Only the one who is pure of heart can draw the blade and become the destined King.”
Nick scratched his chin, examining the wards and protections he had set up as he thought about the blade. He knew that an ancient hero had slain the Demon King of old, trapping his power within the sword. That was precisely why he wanted someone to draw it – to drain it of its power so he could take the sweet, sweet magic for himself. After all, was there really that much difference between a Demon King and a Deville King?
He smiled wryly as the next figure entered the door. A relatively average-looking crow lady, clad in greens, he extended his arm and swept it towards the sword. “Just try to pull it out of this big crystal. It’s okay if you don’t manage it, I’ll still pay you for your day’s work.”
Perhaps he was an evil wizard, but he wasn’t a dick. Still, he thought it somewhat unlikely that a lady was going to be King…
"Oh, wow, it's paid?" Sal asked as she walked over to the crystal mass. She thought the only payment was the -option- for a free sword. She'd always wanted to be a knight. Then, later in life, she had downgraded to wanting to be a mercenary. The problem was she was a serf. Swords were expensive, armor even moreso. Years of hard labor hadn't bought her much more than the grass stained robes on her back and -one- short and damaged book she'd eventually learned to read with.
One book and a tendency to spend all her free time foraging in the forest, though, still made her smarter and better nourished than most of her peers, which meant when she heard there was a sword awaiting a hero, she had to try! Even if her tendency to always respect the fairies and give the best nuts to the heavens didn't help her, the fact that she was the best in her village at -leverage- when it came time to plow surely would.
"Thank you, Mr. Royal Wizard, er, sir!" She remembered to say as she put her hands on the hilt, spreading her legs wide, squatting down and prepared to lift smoothly and gently with her whole body from the bottom up...
Only for the hilt to burn her hand, prompting a startled 'AH!' as she jerked back.
...With the sword.
Sal noticed the wizard double-taking and choking on a sip of tea as she felt the weight of the blade in her hand, but things grew a little darker after that. She felt a presence coiling around her, a kind of malevolent and sinister paralysis creeping into her body. A deep voice boomed through her head as guttural laughter echoed through her thoughts. "Ah, a little fool fowl has freed me at last! What a pity for you that you shall receive no reward this day but a swift and painless death at my hands, as I move to reclaim my empire..."
There was a constriction at the base of her tummy like a terrible jolting, but... nothing happened. In fact, the presence seemed downright weaker after that. "Hey wait, fuck, this isn't supposed to-" Sal felt a boiling throughout her body, a great purgative sensation that rippled through her strong farmer's muscles and resonated through her soul. "This absolutely cannot be happening to meeeeee!"
Sal felt three very important things happen as that power roared through her. The first was that a demigod's-worth of power was burning into her body, digesting into usable magic. The second was that the Demon King was also being burnt up. Thankfully, being pure of heart as she was... it didn't corrupt her. Not absolutely. Though she did feel a little more dominant, perhaps, as befits a king...
Thirdly? There was a lot of heat and pressure on her hips, as though something was trying to escape or manifest. A very mortal woman and a masculine demon were synthesizing in the crow's favour...
"Uh, congratulations?" Nick offered, still staring somewhat in disbelief. "I... guess that makes you the King, then. If you want to just... pass me the sword, thanks..."
"Oh I thought the sword was the point, this was to choose a new king?" Sal handed over the sword obligingly as she ran her hands over her body. She felt weird, a little uncomfortable... and definitely tight.
"I guess that makes sense. I -did- hear a voice when I pulled out the sword! Although it didn't really -sound- like being divinely chosen to rule. But I guess being chosen by the divine and being... a successful enemy of the other one is kind of similar?" Sal's burgeoning sixth sense could ordinarily have picked a demon's presence out so finely she could name it, if it wasn't for the fact that said sixth sense was supposed to -be- the demon's.
A lot of things were. The sword wasn't supposed to release its possession except into the hands of a monster. Somebody with limitless will to fight, to dominate, and to stick their dick into anything it would fit in. The seal that prevented it from being drawn by anybody who wasn't innocent, kind, and altruistic? That came later.
The fact that somebody who was -both- came along shouldn't even have been an option.
But, then, Sal hadn't had the strength to fight, the status to dominate, or the dick to stick in things to corrupt her until just now. And now it was too late.
"Hey, do you mind if I, er, change? I feel really tight for some reason," Sal tried her hardest to grab her crotch in a non-vulgar manner, and would have failed utterly even if there -wasn't- a large bulge there that hadn't been mere minutes ago.
Nick took the blade into his arms, cradling it gently. Ah, yes, this would be everything he had ever dreamt of and more, the power to subjugate the kingdom and do whatever he pleased... "Oh, sure, there's a screen over there if you want," Nick shrugged, casting some investigatory spells into the blade. He wasn't paying attention to the swelling muscle, the height inching upwards, or the unusually-large bulge pressing into the crow's straining clothes. He was focused on his prize.
"Yeah, that's what the legend says. The Destined King will pull the blade from the crystal. I just need to look at it for a moment, then you can turn up to the capital and do what you like with it..." Nick pushed his glasses up his snout as he laid the sword out on a workbench, straining hard as he tried pouring more magic into his detection spells. "Why the hell isn't this working?"
He grit his teeth, really leaning into it. Sal had to admit that the rat had kind of a nice ass as he bent over, even through his robe. "Wait, is this thing empty?" Nick bit his lip, brow furrowing as he thought. There were two obvious answers here. Either all the magic had drained out and the Demon King was long gone, or...
He raised an eyebrow as he swivelled in place, turning to look at the new Crow King.
"Thanks!" Sal didn't waste any more time, stripping her clothes off. It was harder than she expected, her hands had already gotten a little bigger, and untying the rope holding up her trousers wasn't working. She ended up pulling out of frustration and snapping it entirely, looking at the braided hemp in surprise and wondering how worn it had gotten.
Off was off, though, and she dropped her pants, undoing her underclothes as well and -finally- letting her cock fall free. "Phew! This thing's massive huh? I see why every king wears those fluffy robes." She palmed her cock, shuddering slightly at how good even the light touch felt as she pulled it straight, trying to get a good measure of it. "Three hands! That's super nice and... oh it's still growing. Okay I'll wait to measure it." As her dick crept past the edges of her fingers she let it flop down, curving around a set of fresh, incredibly taut, baseball sized balls on its way to flop against her toned thighs.
"Probably need to get it cut too. I'd ask you if you knew a guy but that's a little... hey wait! If you're the vizier does that mean you serve me now?" Sal turned to the rat at the same time he turned to her.
She could watch the rat's face as it moved to where he expected her face to be, then up to where it currently was, still inching upwards... then back down to the massive shaft she was handling before it flopped against her body. His gaze lingered on it for a little too long before he had an answer to her.
"...yyyes?" He offered, not quite sure where the question was headed. He wasn't exactly sure what was happening, right now, and going full tilt with his magic could just make things worse if she really was possessed by a demon of such power. Better to be a little careful with what he said and did. He rolled up his sleeves a little, though. Better to be ready in case he needed to sling out a spell with haste.
He watched as the crow's arms got ever thicker, shoulders swelling with muscle. Her thighs looked like they could crack a barrel open with a good squeeze. His tail coiled in a loop behind him as he thought. "I do serve the rightful king in a magical and advisory capacity... I also have a small role managing the merchant fleet, but mostly I do magic..."
"Oh that sounds great! I should ask for lessons." Sal tried to roll up her own sleeves as well, assuming it was in prep for serious magic work, but got them caught against her upper arms as something the approximate size and density of a cannonball got in the way. Her attempt to muscle her way past it just burst the shirt from the inside, her massive muscles -flexing- being too much for the rough canvas.
With the shirt already ruined she tore it off her body, taking a deep breath as her chest breathed free. She was a little surprised to keep her feminine looks, much less -improve- them, but her body was -sculpted-. Her breasts had the size of a pagan fertility goddess but the firmness of a death one. Or maybe an athlete was a better comparison. She hadn't seen many of them, but they came the closest to matching her stomach.
"I'm gonna need to know a lot. Logistics, math, magic couldn't hurt! I guess I can learn anatomy just by looking, though, I didn't know muscles came this defined," she flexed a little, seemingly just to -feel- it as she gazed at her triceps and tilted her head quizzically.
Then she lent down and whispered to her wizard, "Just between you and me, while I want to be responsible with this, it does seem -kind of- a shame to skip out on the full week of fighting and sex."
She could see the look of visibly worried confusion on the rat's face as she leant in. Perhaps she hadn't meant to be threatening, but the mountain of breasts (complete with cleavage valley) was only getting thicker, heavier and firmer as it pressed into his chin. He was definitely half-concerned, half-horny, ears twitching as his eyes swivelled to the exit, then back to her... she didn't seem to be full of carnage and malice, which was a positive sign.
"Um... of course! An advisor who doesn't advise isn't much of an advisor, after all! If we get back to the capital, the... last King has a really good library, I can help you work through the best volumes to learn from. You'll probably get a good fight from his guards before you get him to self-depose, and as for the sex..."
He considered it. What kind of evil wizard would he be if he didn't take the naked grasp for power that stood before him? Not a great one, he concluded; either the last king would take her down and he'd be lauded for dealing with the pesky sword prophecy once and for all, or she'd win, and... wait, she'd technically be king. He wouldn't make much of a queen.
"...if you need a good consort, I know a rat who's excellent for the job. It's me!"
Sal blinked. She hadn't really considered that. Up until now she was just assuming she'd claim the beautiful women of the kingdom. Everything she aspired to be had come from the one written work she had ever been able to call her own.
A somewhat slapdash translation of the Epic of Gilgamesh.
She'd loved the idea of a king striding forth proudly to fight the greatest monster he could find, of having the strength to charge the underworld and return - only to learn that the important part was -how- he ruled and that claiming other people's wives was a sometimes activity. She'd loved the idea of making your truest friend in epic combat.
She didn't want to -re-enact- it of course, it involved too much friend-dying for her to seek that as a goal, and the fact that she already -knew- to be a responsible ruler ruined some of the fun. She could never be Enkidu, getting fucked so hard he became a good person out of sheer skill. But...
Sal raised an eyebrow, reconsidering something, before asking, "Hey, you don't happen to be evil, do you? Or, like, an uncontrollable wild man made by the gods to inflict punishment?"
"Evil? Aha, come on, now. Would the king really appoint an evildoer to be his vizier? No, no. I'm merely... pragmatic and ambitious! For instance, back when I was merely an advisor to the vizier..." The description alone was enough even for Sal to definitively tick the "secretly evil" box in her head, and the stories of how all the people who got in his way needed to be dealt with definitively (if humanely and peacefully) definitely ticked the "walking curse on the earth designed to inflict punishment" box.
"...and so they were sent off into exile in one of the border regions with someone to keep an eye on them, so that they wouldn't mess with my - ah, the king's - source of magical crystals. But, uh, yes! All that aside, definitely not an evildoer. Now, if you want to take up your sword, we can teleport into the capital and deal with the old king. After that, we can rule as king and... ah, consort!" He shot her a grin that was too eager as he took a step back, casting a teleportation spell and keeping it readied for her to pick up the blade.
"Nahhhh," Sal said, "I gotta civilize you first, -then- we fight." And with that less than understandable comment, Sal picked up - not the sword- but Nick himself, massive hands wrapping around his shoulders and hoisting him up her torso.
Her hands were defter than they had been, running smoothly over his body and stripping him down. Deft, but no less rough, as his robes were quickly in tatters on the ground as she looked over his body.
"Heh. Not as beefy as expected but you're fuzzy enough! I admit this is my first time though, so I may have to make up for my lack of skill with enthusiasm..." as she started to harden, black veins standing out as thick as fingers, it was clear that it wasn't -just- enthusiasm she'd be compensating with. "So, well..."
Nick's butt came closer to her cock, the head almost as wide as his cheeks, foreskin creeping back as she reached full, throbbing mast.
"I guess tell me if you think you're gonna die!" She went in dry.
“Civilize?” She could definitely see the confusion on his face. It was a rather odd word to choose, after all. Still, his eyes widening was clear enough a response for her as she simply hoisted him up like he weighed nothing at all. Stripped in an instant, his eyebrow raised as she investigated his body, eyes wandering down his front and his hefty (if not quite as hefty as her own) junk.
“Beefy, I’m a wizard, I…” He grit his teeth as he felt the smack of her thickening shaft against his ass, that meaty rod hot against his white-furred cheeks. While he felt the heat of her body burning against his own, and could taste the lingering potential of the devoured Demon King with his magical senses, Sal was feeling something a little different. Her nuts were taut. Firm. Full. That first proper load promised to be impressive and excessive, if nothing else.
“If I wha-?” His head tipped back as her shaft plunged into him, outline visible against his front as she pressed into him with irresistible strength.
"Well... I'm..." Sal immediately flushed, not prepared for how good it would feel.
"I'm bigger than you. By a lot. A lot, a lot." She could feel her muscles flexing, sexual pleasure contextualizing things for her. She was -hot-. Everywhere she went from now on she would -always- be attached to a perfect body. Just looking at herself was making her see stars and want to get off. But she had a job to do.
"And stronger. So, so much stronger. So I don't want to hurt you by accident. I need to make you feel so GOOD you have a revelation~" she wasn't clear if the revelation was supposed to be about the folly of evil or the necessity of getting more sex from her, but she was pretty pleased with either at this point.
The problem was -how-. She wasn't even sure if guys actually got off from things in the butt, it was just the only hole it looked remotely plausible for her to fit in. She was tentatively poking around until she hit something bulbous and squishy that made the rat -moan- automatically, and decided that was a good sign and she should grip his hips tighter and rub against that for a while.
He couldn’t argue with that logic. She was, in fact, bigger and stronger, and the way she could casually manhandle him demonstrated that with every teasing grind of her cockhead against his prostate. He watched her massive arms swell with strength as she moved him around, feeling the beat of her powerful heart in every throb of her cock.
And the grinding was doing a lot of work, certainly, to make his mind go fuzzy. With his body locked tight in her grip, even squirming wasn’t easy as she flattened his prostate. She watched as he went from a moan, to heavy panting, to gripping his hands into the feathers of her chest and shuddering.
It didn’t take too long for him to cum as she teased at his sensitive spots, the copious tide of rat seed dripping off of her waterproof outer feathers. Panting, he leaned forward a little, vision blurred as he leaned his head into her cleavage. His body clenching around her cock and the visible relief he got from the orgasm seemed like it really helped! Perhaps… it’d feel good for her, too?
'Ah, cum!' was Sal's last thought, observing that she'd clearly done -something- right given how enormous her new wizard's load was.
Which may have been a mistake. Between thinking the word and not deliberately holding herself back, Sal came as well.
With a more read, more coherent brain, she might have made comparisons. Like a tiny hole carved in a cask of lager that was made way, way too strong, thick and pressured to an absurd degree. Like a levy breaking as the better part of an ocean flooded forth until there was as much inside as outside.
Instead her brain sent up a thought something like 'Ghrkldglftz' and she fell to one knee, overwhelmed. Nick got shoved between her tits, flush to her abs, as she crouched over him shaking just to stabilize...
And he swelled.
She didn't cum tablespoons.
She didn't cum cups.
She didn't even cum gallons.
She -came- and the flood didn't stop. The only thing Nick could see out of his shiny black prison was his own gut swelling in front of him, first by inches, then by feet.
Often the price for ambition on the rat’s scale was the risk of going too far, too fast. Nowhere in his mind had the thought “Wait, if she’s still growing, won’t that be an issue for your holes in a month? A year? A decade?” manifested into being. Nowhere had the idea that she’d be a super-virile cum monster tickled his consciousness. At least she was pure of heart!
He just felt himself swell out of reach with the constant stream of seed, the tide rushing through him and making his body sink lower and lower to the ground. If he was learning a lesson, it wasn’t exactly a specific one; somewhere between a humbling and “don’t mess with the crow who can displace an entire lake unto your insides”.
By the time that endless tide subsided, all she could see was the tip of his snout poking out from inside that cleavage valley, gently huffing in the hot, bird-scented air as the rest of the rat orb she had created jiggled with her movements.
Once Sal calmed down, she just felt... good. Everything was afterglow and contentment. She could -feel- how heavy her body was, no longer buzzing with adrenaline, but not heavy with fatigue either.
She could also feel how heavy her passenger was, and she did her best to pull him off her, slowly withdrawing from the now almost spherical wizard, a loud -splosh- of her own cum splashing back out once she withdrew from his dramatically stretched rear, instinctive recovery magic from one of them tightening him back up after only a -few- gallons had shot back across her balls.
It smelled good. Like sex, sure. Masculine, oh very much so, but with undertones that Sal didn't recognize but Nick recognized as cinnamon. And as she turned him around to face her, that wasn't the only thing inhuman either.
Sal was still hard. Still throbbing, still energized, still smiling. And even -bigger- than before. There were a lot of things they could say to each other, but Sal led with an offhand comment.
"...Do you need some help pushing all that out before the next couple rounds?"
Sal could see the brain cells rubbing together in his brain as he tried to recover. Trying to form thoughts was a lot like trying to lead the proverbial horse to the proverbial water. The heat and volume inside him stretching him to a ludicrous degree wasn’t the easiest load he’d ever taken… in fact, probably the most intense load that had ever been inside him. By far.
She could see the rat squinting as he tried to look over his steamed-up glasses, the short-sighted rodent’s nose twitching as he tried to adjust it with only his facial muscles. His arms pooled limply at his sides on the vast white canvas she had made of him.
Not helping the odds was just how sensitive rat noses were. That scent was buried deep, deep in his sinuses. It was strong, masculine. Appealing. Just like the shaft that was looming ahead of him, bigger than before and still ready to go. His own cock raised as he felt a shiver down his spine, and while a part of him urged caution and to take it easy, what came out of his mouth was “...yeah, please. You have the arms for it, right? The next load will be smaller for sure after you got that big one out of your system…”
Oh, naive hope.
"Sure, probably!" Sal said agreeably, not really giving it much thought as she picked the rat up, leaning him against her cock as support as she pushed him deeper into her abs, wrapping both arms around him as far as she could and giving him a press. It... wasn't exactly smooth. Between Nick's magical recovery making him tighter than before and just how overwhelmingly -thick- Sal's load was, coming out was a lot slower than going in... but just as overstimulating.
It was all the bird could do to aim as wave after wave of tar got pressed out into the corner of the cave, pearly white, visibly steaming, and thick enough that it didn't spread like a fluid so much as steadily pile up. If anything that hadn't come from Sal was inside Nick, it was beyond finding. Instead her scent just got stronger and stronger until the cave was all but ruined.
The rat was almost ambulatory again, though, so at least it was working.
The cave probably didn't need to be used again now that the sword had been claimed, right? The thought briefly tickled Nick's brain, but ultimately, it didn't much matter. If it was really important, someone would fix it. Right now, however, that person would not be him. Even though he could vaguely stand (it was more like leaning both arms against Sal's meaty forearms and slumping while she squeezed him like a go-gurt tube), he was not mentally ready to start casting the Good Stuff again. Higher level magic required more thoughts than he could spark together right now.
He shuddered as the majority of that tar-like seed slowly oozed from a pile into the corner towards its preferred floor-covering spread, then leaned back into her abs as his head got caught in her perky but hefty cleavage. “Guh… okay, I think that’s… most of it...”
"Nice! Okay, next round then," Sal said undaunted, "You wanna take turns picking? I guess I took the lead on that one, so we could try a sex thing of your choice next, and then after that I see how your face does, and so on and so on," the bird monster was secretly hoping to pick up some tips from what she -assumed- was a far more experienced partner, but watching the rat's hands shake for balance, his pinkie finger jittering next to one of the veins on her forearm, and seeing how much more sizeable and solid the -latter- looked let her know she'd probably still be taking the lead.
Not that she minded, of course. That's what she was being built for.
"Also I've always been a little iffy on if we're supposed to be doing this for a week straight, or -two- weeks but with breaks, so if you need a breather just tell me! There's probably fresh air... er... withing a mile or two, surely. And I could fly you... no, wait, if I did that the destination would just smell like me again. Well, a break, a break still works."
The rat blinked, one eye after the other as a weary look of confusion washed over his face. "A week straight?" he remarked. It was meant to be a question, but he was suitably dazed enough that it sounded more like an answer. Something in the back of his mind reminded him of an old legend, but there just wasn't enough brain power available to connect the dots.
His hands squeezed around her thumbs as his legs tried not to buckle beneath him, all his limbs working towards the same goal of keeping him upright. “I’d, uh… suggest some magic, but… I don't think I can cast that kind of spell right now. Besides, I only have… so many holes. You’re gonna run out eventually.”
He exhaled heavily. The air wasn’t exactly stale, but everything did taste strongly of bird. He was never going to get the scent out of his fur at this rate. He pulled his hair out of his face and took a deep breath in, looking at that thick, throbbing, imposing pillar of cock.
“...but you could pin me to the floor and go absolutely wild. If you wanted.”
"Can do!" Sal tossed Nick right on top of the mess, using her own sludge like a cushion to protect him from the stone floor before diving right on top of him, more than happy to fuck him again, lying down this time, with better leverage, but just as hard.
Nick's load was smaller this time.
Sal's wasn't.
She pushed it out again, and, since they -were- taking turns, went on to try oral, bloating the rat from the front this time.
Then she tried outercourse, between his buns and flooding the cave directly.
Then frotting.
She went on through tailjobs, foreskin worship, and at least two more rounds of good old fashioned plowing before Nick finally broke.
The endless coffers of treasure in his mind were black and sweaty. The mystical orbs revealing the gods' secret were feathered and rumbling. The crown he so coveted was permanently latched on a head much larger than his. All of it, every memory, soaked in the sent of sex and cinnamon.
There was no more room for scheming, he was too full of his mistress.
After only four days.
Then, for the next three, a funny thing happened. He started to recover. Remember.
He was supposed to be brilliant, but it was just because he loved magic.
Magic brought him this, magic let him experience the world, magic let him turn demons into kings. He had so many options!
Sometime in the fourth straight hour of sitting on Nick's face and teasing him with her kegels alone, she finally accomplished her impossible goal. She fucked the evil out of him.
Of course, he couldn't talk, and they still had a day left, so it was two sixty nines and a round of docking before they really noticed.
Which just made it better.
When the pair finally finished, Sal's growth had long since slowed to a trickle. Cock finally spent and dangling around her ankles, balls like barrels shriveled and equal-sized tits heaving with exhaustion. She was frazzled and fluffy... but twelve feet tall and still bulging with unparalleled strength.
"Phew! Man, glad I kept at it," she said affectionately, pulling Nick close, cuddling him in the aftermath. "How about it? Ready to actually do some magic for the good of the kingdom?"
She winked playfully... before actually looking around.
And peeking out of the cave.
...towards a stretch of ruined forest that went as far as she could see.
"I think I know where we need to start."
