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Power Corrupts: Divine Send Off (ch. 83)
🕑 Added 2021-07-10 14:55:08 +0000 UTC"Jericho, why are you trying to buy all the property around Axel?" Hestia asked me, prompting me to look up from my work. Sitting on my workbench was the chest piece of my armor. My good armor. The Black Star sat next to it, held up by a special stand since it was too big for my normal ones. A paintbrush in my hand paused on its way to brush off more of Alduin's soul to enchant my armor.
"No reason in particular," I hedged, resuming my work. My armor was progressing nicely. It had been a very difficult choice on what exactly I wanted to do with Alduin's Soul. In the end, between my Enchanting abilities and now my Magic item creation, I was spoiled when it came to choices. I had a million ideas, and I was almost tempted to shove every single one of them into the armor -- dividing up Alduin's soul and going with synergy.
However, I made my decision upon seeing the devastation brought forth by Megumin.
"Jerichooo…" Hestia dragged out my name warningly, catching me in the white lie.
I pointedly didn't look at her, but I still saw her behind me with my expanded vision, her arms crossed and one of her feet bouncing impatiently. By the looks of her expression, she knew exactly what I planned to do. "I'm going to quarantine the city. Maybe I'll build a really big wall around Axel. Or a super deep moat," I said, currently in-between ideas. "Everyone inside it is a lost cause. They can't be saved."
Hestia gave me the dullest look, "That's a pretty extreme reaction, Jericho. You can't just quarantine an entire city because you don't like the people inside of it," Hestia pointed out, but I sensed that she wasn't entirely unconvinced.
"Technically speaking, I totally can," I argued the point. With the demon king's army finally arriving near Axel, property values plummeted outside of the city. Everyone wanted to move behind the sturdy walls for protection. So, the real estate market crashed. Property values were in the toilet, and I was picking up huge swaths of land for pennies on the dollar.
There were no laws saying I couldn't build a super huge wall around the city. And even if there was, it wasn't like I was going to let that stop me.
"I'll just say something like it's for their protection. Or I'll put the idea in Aqua's head, make her think it was her idea, then those idiots will help build the wall that will protect the world from them until the end of time," I continued. That might sound like a high IQ, 3D chess move worthy of Aizen Sousuke himself, but it wouldn't be difficult at all. All I had to do was mention the idea to Aqua, and she'd jump at the chance to prove her ability to protect her followers.
Hestia walked forward, leaning her head against my shoulder, "Are you intentionally missing my point?"
A little. "I know it's incredibly petty," I admitted, "But they started it." They pissed me off, so now they would be sealed inside that stupid city for the rest of eternity. I would venture in on a rescue mission to grab Wiz, and maybe Luna, but everyone else was getting sealed. For the good of the world.
"Jerichooo…" Hestia said, dragging my name out again, earning a sigh from me.
"Fine. Fine. I won't build a giant wall around Axel. Or dig a super deep moat," I gave up on the ideas. "But can I build another city around Axel?" It'll be my own city-state. Which I would make Hestia the patron deity, and if you wanted to be a citizen of my much better city, then you had to convert from Aquaism to Hestiaism. Names pending.
Spite probably wasn't the best motivator to create a religion, but it's what I was working with.
Hestia opened her mouth to deny the equally petty request but she stopped herself, "Could I design it?" She asked, earning a smile from me.
"Course," I agreed easily. I wouldn't have it any other way. It wasn't like I knew a damn thing about designing cities, and Hestia had already proven her ability in that regard. Helgen had been a fantastic city up until it got destroyed by Alduin.
"Then consider it a maybe. Ask again when Aqua makes me mad," Hestia decided, earning a chortle from me. That wouldn't take long then. Hestia and Aqua were like oil and water, they just didn't mix. "You finally decided on an enchantment for your armor?"
To that, I smiled, "Yeah, I did. I gave it a lot of thought… how much of the fight did you see against Alduin?" I asked her, making her reach up to grab my arm, hugging my bicep as she leaned against my shoulder. It wasn't something that we talked about a lot. The fact that I had died fighting him wasn't something that either of us liked to bring up.
After a moment, Hestia sighed, "Not a whole lot. After you went up to the Throat of the World, Lydia brought me down into the basement. It felt like the entire world was going to shake itself apart," she muttered. There was regret in her voice -- regret that she hadn't been up there making a difference, but I said nothing. At the time, I didn't want Hestia near a battlefield. Honestly, I still kinda didn't because I didn't like the idea that she would be in danger.
But things had changed. Hestia was a Divine Cleric. If she could put up with the idea that I could be in danger and not hover over me, then I owed her that same respect and belief that she could take care of herself.
"Hm. Alduin hit me with the Thu'um a couple of times. He blew up the Throat of the World with a Fus Ro Dah," I said, continuing my work. I brushed off a sliver of Alduin's immense soul and painted it into my armor, the enchantment taking form. I still remembered the sensation of getting hit with his Thu'um. I felt every bone in my body shatter, my organs rupture, and my eyes pop like balloons. My armor protected me some, but it couldn't protect me from the mighty force. A force that probably had a hand in killing me just as much as getting hit by the Eye of Magnus did.
Pulling my brush back, I inspected the rune with satisfaction. "I want to be able to harness that kind of force. Not just be protected from it, but use it. My chest piece is going to become a kinetic battery -- the more force it takes, the more I can use in battle." I said, picturing how it would work. I could use the kinetic energy to increase the power of my blows -- I was plenty strong now, but I wasn't ' hit with the explosive force of a small yield nuke' strong.
The limit of the kinetic energy stored was only limited by the soul I used to create the battery. And Alduin's soul was immense. Even better, it wasn't something that was reliant on outside forces. After all, if I used up all the kinetic energy stored up in my chest piece, I could hit it with a few shouts of Unrelenting Force to charge it back up.
Simply put, it was a perfect addition to my toolkit. It let me hit even harder than I already could. The cherry on top being that the harder the enemy hit me, the harder I could hit them back with what amounted to their own attack. Can’t wait to see the look on Alduin’s face when I hit him with the force of his own Thu’um.
"Ah," Hestia uttered, "I almost forgot! It's almost time," she told me, causing me to set my paintbrush down and grab the Black Star. Shoving it into my inventory, I looked over at Hestia as she let go of my arm. I stood up and took a deep breath.
"Is he here yet?" I asked, earning a shake of Hestia's head.
"He's on the way. Or, he was. I kinda forgot what I came to tell you," Hestia admitted with a sheepish chuckle. I cocked an eyebrow, but I didn't get an answer. "He could be waiting for you to see him off! He'll cry if you aren't there," she pointed out, and she was right about that.
Letting out go of my breath, we left my workshop and started heading down the hallway. I heard high-pitched screaming in the distance, which sounded like Megumin, but that had become a very common occurrence, so I just tuned it out. Reaching the main entrance, I saw the man in question that was here to be sent off.
Kazuma.
"It's finally time, huh?" I asked him, walking down the stairs. He wore his green tracksuit, with the starter sword I gave him at his hip, in addition to a pair of sunglasses. And I guess the girls that he had his arms slung over could be considered accessories since they were eye candy. I recognized them as the girls that occupied that one Adventurer guy that was obsessed with Aqua in the original timeline.
Behind Kazuma and his girls was a succubus, the back of Kazuma's head nestled between her sizable breasts. I'm pretty sure that was the same succubus that he had been snorting some blue dust off of before he died.
"It's time, Senpai," Kazuma said, his voice laced with gratitude. It seems as much as he had backslid into old habits, he hadn't entirely forgotten the lessons he had learned. "It's time for me to begin my quest to bring the Demon King's tyranny to an end!" He declared, raising a fist. Though, the proclamation was a little undercut when he immediately draped the arm back over the arm candy.
I had to admit -- this plan had gone everywhere but according to plan. Kazuma died twice, none of the improved party members made the cut to join him, and we were wildly off schedule. Yet, here we were. Sending Kazuma off to defeat the Demon King.
"Then it's time for me to uphold my end of the bargain," I said, reaching into my inventory where I then pulled out a set of armor and a weapon. The material was Mythril, so it had a greenish tint to the metal -- a shade of green that matched his tracksuit, which the armor was designed to be placed over. That was at the commissioner’s request. "Here's the armor -- it'll boost your stats, give you short-range teleportation, increase the potency of your spells, and if you die you'll be teleported here to be resurrected. If you press the clasp on your chest, a cape will appear," I said, pushing the button and in a swirl of shadows, a cloak appeared behind the armor.
Kazuma jumped away from the girls as if they had burned him, "Senpai~!" Kazuma said, tears in his eyes as he hovered around the armor. "It's so cool!" He said, and it was a genuine enough reaction that I decided to not mention that it was created with the powerful enemies that he was said to have killed.
You know, for flavor text.
"And here is your sword," I presented it to him. A katana in a snow-white sheath to match a blade that was also snow white. "It grants you all of my combat skills." Which was shockingly difficult to enchant.
"Senpai…!" Kazuma sounded like he was fighting back a wave of tears, taking the katana from me. It wasn't one that was made by me or anyone. I ended up heading to the mountains and killing the Winter Bushido a while ago. It was a surprisingly good fight. "It's so cool. It's so cool!" He uttered in awe, unsheathing the blade and sending a winter chill flowing through the lobby.
The moment was a little ruined when a giggle came from above. Aqua leaned over the balcony of the stairs, a smug look on her face. "Cute gifts from a cute goddess," Aqua said, blatantly ignoring that I was the one that gave Kazuma the gifts. But I guess facts would interfere with the speech she had prewritten. "Witness what a true goddess bestows on one of her favored… eh… one of her champions,” she amended.
Kazuma gave her a dull stare, his gaze devoid of all life. It was like he had immediately retreated into the deepest layers of his subconscious the moment Aqua spoke. Not really sure what happened between them when Kazuma became some sort of Jesus analog, but they still got along about as well as they ever did.
"Blessing!" Aqua announced, before mystical light surrounded Kazuma that shined with every shade of the rainbow. "There! Now you don't need that dumb armor and sword from a heretic! My divine blessing is all you need to defeat the Demon King, right Kazuma?!"
Kazuma slowly looked to me, "Thank you for the gifts, Senpai," He said, choosing to not acknowledge Aqua at all. Despite everything that had happened, I knew there was a reason I liked Kazuma.
"Hey! Hey! Kazuma?! That's all you need, right?! Kazuma?! I want a thank you too!" Aqua went from dignified, to shocked anger, to whining in the span of about two and a half seconds. Kazuma looked to the side, letting out a long and dramatic sigh.
However, all the same, he offered a polite bow to Aqua. "Oh magnificent goddess, thank you for your gift," he said in a deadpan tone, something that Aqua either didn't notice or pretended not to hear .
"Ahem," Aqua cleared her throat, regaining her dignified air. "Go forth my champion and save the world!" She instructed, pointing towards the door. For a solid few seconds, if I had never met Aqua, I would have been able to understand why so many people were obsessed with her. Then she immediately ruined it. "Just don't save it too quickly. I'm still having fun in the mortal world, and I don't want to go back yet."
That was probably my fault, I could admit. I didn't just skip six months worth of struggling.I skipped straight to the high life. Mansions, money, power, and respect, and I had dragged Aqua behind me the entire way. She had become incredibly spoiled.
But, at the same time, I didn't care. This world and Aqua deserved each other.
"Right, right," Kazuma said, offering a much deeper bow to me. "Thank you for all you have done for me!" He said, and for a moment, he appeared to be a dignified and respectable adventurer himself . An image that he immediately ruined by him throwing his arms around the arm candy again, which were carrying his equipment like the world's lovliest pack mules, and heading out to join what I saw was a long caravan of attendants parked outside my front door.
I will give the city of Axel this, I thought to myself as I stood on my front porch while Kazuma got onto the lead wagon.
I was wrong about them not doing anything. There had to be thousands of people from the city that were parked in the place where there had once been a forest before Megumin had leveled . All of them following Kazuma to his fight with the Demon King. They had a fervor in them -- it was like the crusades, if the crusades had been led by a Jesus analog. I could only hope that it wouldn't end in the disaster most of the crusades were.
But, that also wasn't my problem.
"We're off!" Kazuma decided, dramatically pointing his sword into the air and pointing in the direction that I'm guessing the Demon King was in. A thunderous cheer went up from the people before, almost as one, they followed Kazuma's lead. I watched them go for a long moment, Hestia by my side.
"What do you think of my Champion, you huge tittied Loli?" Aqua questioned, sounding immensely proud of herself. Like Kazuma was a child she had raised single handily.
And there we go, I thought to myself, knowing better than to get involved in the argument. It quickly devolved into name-calling, but it never got physical. None of it was even particularly mean-spirited. Though, on the plus side, I was totally going to get permission to build a city around Axel. I wouldn't get to see it completed, but I didn't even care. It was a matter of principle.
While they fought, I stepped back inside, letting out a huge sigh. Kazuma was officially off to deal with the Demon King. I had no clue when to expect that he would do the deed, but I was going to call it a month or so. Maybe more, maybe less. No clue.
That left me to my own devices. Heading upstairs, I went to my workshop to resume working on my armor. As I walked, I heard Megumin scream again, followed by doors slamming. I might have investigated, but something else caught my attention.
Standing outside of my workshop was Darkness. She fidgeted where she stood, one hand raised to knock. She wasn't wearing her armor, leaving her in her black skintight undersuit and a yellow skirt. I could hear her swallow thickly, and that wasn't because of my sensitive hearing.
"Looking for me?" I asked her, cocking an eyebrow as she just about leaped out of her skin at the sound of my voice. It was an odd thing to note, but neither she nor Megumin had seen Kazuma off. I guess I had killed their friendship before it could be made.
Darkness looked up at me with a blushing face that only seemed to intensify by the second. She looked around, looking at everything but me. She fidgeted where she stood, unable to meet my eyes.
Then, she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Darkness forced herself to meet my gaze, her cheeks still rosy red, but she adopted a serene expression. And, for a brief second, if I had never met Darkness before in my life, I could almost see why everyone thought that she was a selfless and pure-hearted crusader.
"Please have s-sex with me," Darkness requested, only stammering a little with the request. Her embarrassment grew at how direct she was being, and to be completely honest, I was caught a bit flat-footed as well. It had been some time since I made the ultimatum -- that if she wanted sex, she had to drop the pretenses. "I, well, I-" she tried to force an explanation for her decision, but if any more blood rushed to her face then there was a genuine risk that there wouldn't be enough left for the rest of her body.
But, even still, she persevered, "I know you aren't who I thought you were -- you won't sit around all day getting drunk and then force me to sell my body for a single eris," and the sheer disappointment in her tone… "Or force me to strip down naked in the city square and let men enact their base desires on my body." Jesus Darkness. "Or keep me in a sex dungeon where I'll never see the light of day again, and I'll be forced to subside only off of your c-cum." Her eyes became vacant, drool leaking from the corner of her mouth.
She shook her head, "But even still, you're the perfect man for me! You're kind, and gentle, but you can also be an absolute brute that doesn't care at all for other people!" I… "You created a legendary figure because you were too lazy to kill the Demon King yourself! You even treat gods like annoying trash that exists only to irritate you! Ah~! And that scowl…" Darkness looked away, a shiver running through her body.
You know what? I was just going to take the compliment in the spirit it was given and ignore the words themselves.
"Darkness…," I trailed off, my gaze sliding from her to my workshop. I really should get to work. Time just became a limited resource. But… I also had the greenlight from Hestia, and now Darkness herself. I had been restraining myself a lot. A whole lot. Since before the War Game, it had been nothing but stress and pressure. So, why not blow off a little steam.
Darkness looked up at me, awaiting my answer. She looked absolutely petrified of what my answer would be.
"Strip," I told Darkness, my voice low and authoritative. Her eyes went so wide that they could have fallen out of her head. Her hands moved before her mind had processed the order.
"Here?" She questioned, sounding equally excited and nervous about stripping down in the hallway.
To that, I just smiled, "You're just getting undressed here. Then, you're going to walk to the library," I told her, earning a stunned look, but there was excitement dancing in her eyes. The library had the closest sex dungeon. That I knew about, at least. Given the situation, I think Darkness would prefer it more than a bed, or even losing her virginity in a hallway. Darkness was the embodiment of that saying; sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me.
Her gaze never left mine as she began to undress. Her breathing grew heavier by the second. Her skirt fell into a pile around her ankles, revealing her body in the form-fitting undersuit. It was a one-piece, the thin material doing nothing to hide anything. Her nipples were hard, poking through the material. Darkness swallowed thickly before she tugged at the neckline of the undersuit, the material stretching as she pulled it down.
Her skin was the color of cream, not a flaw in sight. She hesitated a moment before she pushed the material over her breasts, revealing them to me. And, there was just no way to say it -- Darkness's boobs were absolutely huge. Hestia, until now, held the champion belt when it came to the largest breasts I had seen, but Darkness had her beat. They were large enough that I doubt I could fully engulf them with my hands without spillage. The same hands that were able to completely engulf people's heads when I threw them around.
Despite their size, there wasn't a hint of sag. You'd think they were a B-cup for their spry perkiness. A lewd smile appeared on Darkness's face, catching me openly admiring her breasts. She pushed the material over her flat stomach that was etched with her abs. Her thighs were thick, and her hips were wide -- I wasn't one for body types, but I'm pretty sure that it was an undeniable fact that Darkness hadthe perfect body for being bred. A body that was made for the sole purpose of getting fucked.
Her hands went to protect her modesty, an arm cradling her breasts while the other hand went to hide her bare pussy from view. I cocked an eyebrow and Darkness lowered her arms, keeping them by her sides. She tried not to squirm as I drank in the sight of her body, the scent of her arousal was already growing strong. Something Jericho has become intimately familiar at this point. So much so that it has probably become a permenant part of the library. Ink, musty paper, and Darknesses scent.
"Well? Get going," I said, gesturing for Darkness to start walking. I chose to not make a comment about her body, something that Darkness seemed to enjoy as she turned around and began walking. Her ass was firm, a hint of softness but shapely curvaceous. Each step revealed the glistening sheen trickling down the inside of her thighs. She was leaking so much she looked like she had already experienced hours of foreplay.
Darkness was a bit different from most girls. Well, a whole lot different. I was a fairly dominant guy. I could get a bit rough when the situation called for it. For Hestia, that was more than enough. For everyone I've slept with, that was enough. However, with Darkness, the roughest I've been so far was just the starting line.
Darkness wanted humiliation. She wanted abuse. She wanted to be treated like a sex slave.
So, as we walked, I prepared myself as much as Darkness prepared herself. Because this was going to be different. With Hestia, I knew exactly what she liked. But, with Darkness, what she liked was a couple miles outside of my comfort zone. So I was going to have to take an approach that would scratch the itch for both of us.
By the time we reached the library, drops of arousal were dripping from Darkness with each step she took, leaving a shimmering trail on the floor. Her heavybreathing was on the verge of passing into hyperventilation when her hand reached out to the book that served as the sex dungeon’s door handle and pulled it back. The door slid open, and as we both descended the stairs, I closed the door behind us, plunging the room into temporary darkness. The sex dungeon lit up in a low light as the magic braziers lining the walls ignited, revealing tools of the trade.
"Before we start," I said, placing my hands on Darkness's shoulders. "I need to know some stuff -- what's your Endurance stat?" I asked -- mine was in the thousands, but-
"Eight hundred and fifty," Darkness stated, her tone breathless as I blinked slowly. That was, as I understood, kinda an absurd number.
My hands glided down over her arms, "You really dumped everything into Endurance to be the best cocksleeve you could be, huh? I guess I should admire your dedication." Darkness made a noise of protest, but it came out moreas a mewl of approval. "And every once and awhile, I'm going to ask you how you're feeling. Greenlight is keep going, yellow light is slow down, and red light is stop. Okay? Be honest -- I know that you like pain, but it would hurt me if I did something that really hurt you in a way that can't be healed, Darkness. Do you understand?"
Darkness nodded, but a few seconds passed before she realized I wanted her to say it. "I understand."
"Good. Now, turn around," I told Darkness, letting go of her. She turned around her expression already on the verge of an ahegao. "On your knees," I told her. Luckily, Darkness was tall enough that when she fell to her knees with a heavy thump, she was at face height with my dick. Darkness knew exactly where this was going. "Take it out, Darkness."
She didn't waste any time doing exactly that. She undid my pants, and my dick sprung free in its own bid for freedom. It smacked onto her face, mirroring the first time she had been on her knees before me. Her breathing tickled the underside of my cock, her eyes going cross-eyed just to look at it. Her expression was one of worship.
"It's…" Darkness breathed, looking up at me with a pleading stare.
"Suck it," I order her, and Darkness did exactly that. There was no hesitation. There was no moment of reflection. There was nothing but action. At that moment, Darkness was lust incarnate -- she grabbed hold of my cock, her hands failing to completely encompass it before she opened her mouth as wide as it would go and immediately shoved as much of my cock into her mouth as she could.
Almost instantly, I hit the back of her throat, earning a harsh cough. It seemed that Darkness actually had a gag reflex, but Darkness was nothing if not dedicated. She sputtered and coughed, but she pushed her head forward, forcing my cock passed her gag reflex and wrapping her throat around my cock. Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes, dripping down her cheeks as she struggled, but she still pushed herself forward, driven to take all of me into her throat.
A task that she succeeded at -- I felt her nose brush against my groin as my entire length disappeared into her mouth. I could see the bulge in her throat from where my dick pressed against it from the inside. Her throat was tight, and her tongue moved sporadically as she made an effort to not touch me with her teeth. In all honesty, I was a bit blown away. My first instinct was to offer some praise -- it's what Hestia would want. So… I should do the opposite of that.
"I'm waiting for you to start," I told Darkness and that was probably a mistake, as her eyes rolled back, the sound of her feminine cum splashing against the stone floor echoing in the sex dungeon.
Darkness reached out, her hands grabbing hold of my thighs for leverage. Slowly, she extracted herself from her position impaled on my dick, a wet shine covering my length where she receded as spit dripped down. She took in a deep breath, her tongue swirling around my cockhead. Then, with no warning, Darkness slammed her face forward like she was trying to headbutt my stomach. Not just try, but she did -- I felt her forehead smack into my abs, the length of my cock vanishing down her throat in an instant.
Just as quickly, she pulled her head back, only to slam it forward once again. Darkness proceeded to face fuck herself, drool dripping down her chin in messy strings, splattering on me with each impact of her head. Her eyes were shining with tears, but Darkness relentlessly fucked her mouth with my cock -- there was no finesse, no skill. Nothing but the sheer determination to hate fuck herself until she passed out or I blew my load.
It was working too. Her mouth was wet and hot, the tightness was incredible, and the trembling and clenching of her throat as it tried to eject me taught me the meaning behind the term 'mouth-pussy' as it massaged my length. . Above all else, however, was the effect seeing the determination in her eyes had on me as she relentlessly fucked her mouth with my cock.
The room filled with the wet, sloppy sounds of her throat and face slapping into my abdomen, as well as the sound of her fingers messily sliding in and out of her pussy a she fingered herself. At the start, she made a token effort of concealing that fact, but now she openly pleasured herself. She came twice while deep throating me -- two heaving orgasms that had her eyes rolling in the back of her head, but she still diligently choked on my cock as she rode them out . My orgasm inched closer, but I held back my groans and gave no outward sign of it.
Darkness slammed her face forward once more and pulled back, only this time I pulled myself free of her mouth before she could come back down. My cock throbbed, before I came. A thick rope of white cum splattered over Darkness's face, some of it shooting over her entirely. Darkness opened her mouth wide, sticking her tongue out to catch what she could in her mouth. I aimed down her gullet, filling her mouth with cum before I turned my attention to painting her tits.
A sigh heaved out of me as Darkness made a show of savoring the taste of chocolate before she swallowed it all down. A drop of cum dripped from her breasts as she opened her mouth wide to show that it was all now safely secured in her stomach."You were so rough with me," Darkness said, earning a slow blink from me as she used a finger to scoop up more cum from her breasts.
What do you mean, Darkness? I didn't move, Darkness. You did that to yourself, Darkness.
Darkness shivered in delight, not hesitating in the slightest to lean down and lick a drop of cum off of the stone floor. She swallowed it down, and almost as if she were a bloodhound, Darkness zeroed in on the cum that had landed behind her. On her hands and knees, she crawled over to it, leaning down and licking it off the floor while presenting her pussy to me. It was drooling with arousal, and I saw that she had left behind a small puddle of it where she had been on her knees.
My cock throbbed at the sight, before I walked forward.
Darkness was going to be a handful, I could see that. But she would be worth it.
That much I knew.
...
I've been thinking on where to put this AN for a while now, and I decided that this chapter would do because every chapter past this point has gotten glowing reviews on Patreon. So, the rough waters I anticipated are over. I didn't want people thinking that this was in response to the criticism -- and to prove that point, I have a confession to make.
I haven’t read anything from the Power Corrupts thread in over a month. Basically, I stopped and went 'do I want to do this to myself?’ And the answer was no, I didn’t. So, I tossed the thread on ignore. And, I gotta say, upon skimming over the various pages, that was a big brain move on my part. People can dress it up as ‘forums aren’t hug boxes’ but that’s not really a justification for being toxic assholes.
But that’s not what this AN is about.
Going Native ending had me thinking about endings, and it made me take a step back and look at all of my stories -- basically, where they are, where they're going, am I happy with the direction, and so on. And, as a lot of you know, Power Corrupts has always been the problem child of all of my stories.
Some of that is the Jumpchain formula. Changing settings always comes with some hiccups, and that's to be expected. However, upon inspection, I think that Power Corrupts has some fundamental problems that are only going to get worse as the story progresses.
The cliff notes version is -- Jericho's character arc, the lack of character arcs from the side characters, Jericho became too powerful too quickly, game mechanics that I stacked don't work together as well as I thought they would, the lack of a credible antagonist, and some concepts were left undercooked.
So, I decided that it would be best to plan out how I'm going to end the story rather than letting it petter out with a whimper.
Which is why Power Corrupts will be ending after the Skyrim return arc. For how long that would be -- with the Biggest Tipper chapter, the Konosuba arc has 2-3 chapters left, and the Skyrim return arc will be between 10-15 chapters in total. So, about 3-5 months until Power Corrupts comes to an end and earns a (Complete) tag. So, there’s still a fair bit of Power Corrupts to go.
I know that this will disappoint some of you, but I do think that this is for the best. I just think that I made too many fundamental mistakes with Power Corrupts because it was one of my first stories, and I wrote it at the same time as Gone Native, my first real story. Believe it or not, writing two stories was a huge challenge for me back in the day. Then those mistakes became further exacerbated with each jump while other problems stacked on top of them.
However, it's not all bad news.
I do have another Jumpchain story in the works that will replace Power Corrupts when it ends. The working title is Fool's World. With it, I've, hopefully, fixed the mistakes that I made with Power Corrupts. What I've got written up so far seems pretty solid, and my beta, who is my biggest critic after myself, also agrees that it's probably some of the best work I've done.
So, while Power Corrupts will be ending in the coming months, I do hope that everyone enjoys Fool's World. I'm aiming to take what I got right about Power Corrupts and make them better while buffing out the parts that were less than good for an overall much stronger story with a solid cast of characters to support the MC throughout his journeys across the multiverse.
Thank you for your understanding, and again, I am sorry for those that this will disappoint. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I do think it’s for the best.
Comments
Lokhaxz
Definitely peaked in Danmachi. Basically every problem for the story was directly caused by the jumpchain format. Can't say I'm looking forward to another one either.
Kabir Kumar
The difference between a decent story and a great story for me is the ending. I'm looking forward to how you end this one! Going Native is a brilliant piece of work. One of the things that made it so good was that some kind of ending was always in sight. And we always knew what the ending would be- the end of the war. We just never knew how it would happen or what it would look like. Which is where the anticipation came from.
Petrox
I think a fitting epilogue would be returning to Danmachi at lvl 5 with all the familia stronger and maybe taking sheogorath to a vacation
Blair Shirley
Gotta admit, I am a bit disappointed that we won't experience anymore Danmachi, but I will get over that. I have enjoyed this a lot, and will be sad to see it go, but all good things must come to an end haha
Darkarma
Going to miss this, I was really hoping to see a return to Danmachi as he'd likely be level four but still a relatively medium sized fish there
Good.T
Understandable, to be entirely honest, I liked this story most before it became a jumpchain (Danmachi arc), and I sometimes wished Jericho would just stayed on Danmachi with thier cast of characters. Skyrim arc was kind of a long ass misery porn and Konosuba arc... well. That being said, I look forward to what you'll do with your new story. Btw, what happened with A Hard Knock Life? Did you dropped it or did I missed out on something?
Sksk4128
Glad to see you are getting into a better headspace instead of tearing yourself apart from some toxic posters. Anyways nice interaction between the Cast and the MC felt more inline with Konosuba, Aqua being Aqua, Hestia being a good mother hen not letting her husband go too far and Kazuma after lucking out with the best gear in the world on top of a meaningful interaction and foundation with Darkness with boundaries being set
