Kalzara
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MOTH: Chapter 37
🕑 Added 2024-03-30 22:33:45 +0000 UTCThat night after dinner, Darian waited until his Ma started washing up. He fidgeted, trying to work up his nerve. This was it. He had to convince her to let him go with Rondar. Taking a deep breath, he approached her at the basin.
"Ma? Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Mara glanced over, up to her elbows in suds. "Can it wait, love? I've got to get these dishes done."
"It's important," Darian insisted. He took the plate she was scrubbing. "I'll help. I wanted to ask...I want to go with Rondar. To help rescue his family."
His mother went still. Slowly, she turned to face him fully, soapy hands dripping on the floor. "You want to do what now?"
Darian swallowed but lifted his chin. "Rondar's family is in trouble. I want to help him save them from the gnolls."
"Absolutely not! Darian, are you mad? You're a child!"
"I'm nearly thirteen," he argued. "Practically a man grown. And I'm the best hunter in the village. You know I can handle myself."
Mara's lips thinned. "Hunting rabbits is a far cry from fighting monsters. You have no idea what you'd be getting into."
"Rondar will be with me the whole time. He'll keep me safe."
At that, Mara barked a harsh laugh. "Safe? Look what those beasts did to him! He barely escaped with his life. And you want to go charging after them?"
Darian set his jaw stubbornly. "I'm good with a bow, Ma. Really good. I can help from a distance, pick off the gnolls--"
"No," Mara cut him off harshly. "I won't hear of it. You're not going, and that's final."
"But Ma--"
"I said no, Darian!" She slammed a pot into the rinse bucket, sloshing water. Her eyes were teary when she rounded on him. "I will not lose you too. Not for anything. Do you understand?"
He wanted to keep arguing. Wanted to complain about the unfairness of it all. But the terrified look in his mother’s eyes stopped the words in his throat.
"I'm sorry," he muttered instead. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just...I want to do the right thing."
She held his gaze a moment longer, then sighed. "I know you do, love. You've such a good heart." Cupping his face, she pressed a kiss to his brow. "But sometimes the right thing is also the hard thing. The smart thing is knowing the difference."
Mara patted his cheek once more before turning back to the dishes, effectively ending the conversation.
A cough made Darian turn around. Rondar stood just outside the kitchen, clearly having overheard. The dwarf's face was a mix of sympathy and resignation.
Cheeks burning, Darian walked over to him. "I'll still come," he said under his breath. "I'll sneak out if I have to."
But Rondar shook his head. "Ye heard yer Ma. I can't take ye along in good conscience now."
"But your family--"
"Is my burden to bear," Rondar finished firmly. "Not yers."
He gripped Darian's shoulder, "Ye've a good heart, lad. But leave the monster huntin' to me, aye?"
With that, he turned and headed out to the shed. Darian watched him go, hands clenched into fists. He'd never felt so useless in his life.
***
The next morning
Darian stepped out of the cottage at first light, fighting off a yawn. The chill of dawn nipped at his bare arms but he barely noticed, his eyes fixed on the bulky figure by the garden gate.
Rondar stood with his back to the cottage, checking the straps of a bulging pack. His normally jovial face was grim, mouth set in a flat line under his beard.
Darian's stomach twisted. This was it. The dwarf really was leaving, off to face horrible dangers alone. All because Darian's Ma was too frightened to let him help.
It's not fair, he thought miserably. I'm not a baby. I could make a difference, I know I could. If Rondar's family die, it'll be all Ma's fault.
Guilt squirmed through him at the disloyal thought. Mara was only trying to keep him safe, same as she always had. But Darian wasn't a little boy anymore. Like he told his Ma yesterday, he was practically a man. And men helped their friends, even if it was dangerous.
"All set then?" Mara asked from behind him, startling Darian from his brooding.
Rondar turned to face them, shouldering his pack with a nod. "Aye, near enough. I can make the rest along the way."
Mara stepped forward, a wrapped bundle in her hands. "I've packed you some food. It's not much, but…" she trailed off, holding out the parcel.
Rondar took it, his face softening. "My thanks, mistress. Ye've been kinder than I deserve, takin' in a stranger like ye did."
Mara shrugged off his gratitude. "You'd have done the same in our place." She hesitated, then reached out to clasp Rondar's shoulder. "May the gods watch over you and see your family safe."
Rondar bowed his head. "I'll be sendin' up the same prayer, don't ye doubt."
Talia chose that moment to come barrelling out of the cottage, still in her nightdress. She crashed into the dwarf at full speed, making him stagger.
"Do you have to go, Mr. Rondar?" she sniffed into his shirt. "I don't want you to."
Rondar looked down at the little girl clinging to him like a burr, expression torn between amusement and dismay. He awkwardly patted her head.
"Now then, little lass, enough of that. Ye'll set me to blubberin' like a blessed babe."
But Talia just squeezed tighter, shaking her head. Darian winced in second-hand embarrassment – his sister never had learned the meaning of 'dignity.'
With a sigh, Rondar gently detached himself from Talia's octopus grip. He knelt down to her level, tipping her chin up with a finger.
"Chin up, wee miss," he said. "I'll be back before ye know it, yer brother's fancy shootin' stick in tow."
That brought a wobbly smile to Talia's face. "And then you can stay? For good and all?"
Rondar's eyes flicked up to Mara before quickly away again. "We'll see, lass. One battle at a time, aye?"
He rose to his feet, giving Talia a last pat. Thomas hovered uncertainly near the cottage door, scuffing his boots in the dirt.
Rondar nodded to him. "Ye'll look after this lot, hear? Darian's like to go harin' off at first chance."
Thomas mustered up a sickly attempt at a grin, all too aware of Darian glaring daggers at him. "Y-yes, Mr. Rondar. I will, I promise."
"Good lad." The dwarf shifted his gaze to Darian, one brow lifting. "Well, lad? Nothin' to say?"
Darian felt his ears grow hot. All the things he wanted to say – pleas to let him come along, oaths of loyalty, elaborate arguments on his own maturity – strangled each other in his throat.
In the end, all he managed was a clumsy, "Goodbye. Good…good luck, I guess."
Rondar huffed a laugh, reaching out to clap Darian on the shoulder. His strong hand felt like a brand through Darian's shirt.
"Aye, I'll be needin' all the luck I can get, I reckon." His face sobered, voice lowering for Darian's ears alone. "Mind yer ma, lad. She loves ye lots."
Darian swallowed hard. "I… I know."
Rondar's grip tightened briefly before falling away. "Well then. Best be off. Daylight's wastin'."
With a last round of farewells – another rib-cracking hug from Talia, a tear-choked blessing from Mara, and an awkward handclasp from Thomas - the dwarf turned and stumped off down the path, his pack and weapons clanking.
Darian watched him go, a hot coal of frustration smouldering in his chest. It felt so wrong, just standing here safe at home while Rondar marched off to face evil. While his family suffered in the hands of monsters.
If it was my family out there, I'd want someone to help me, he thought. I wouldn't let anything stop me from saving them. Not even Ma.
As if sensing his black mood, Mara laid a gentle hand on his arm. "Come inside, love. I'll make you some breakfast."
Darian shrugged her off, his glare never leaving Rondar's receding back. "Not hungry. Think I'll go check the snares."
Mara frowned. "Now? You just checked them yesterday."
"So I'll check them again!"
The words came out harsher than he intended. At his mother's hurt look, Darian blew out a breath, trying to stay calm.
"There's…there's been sign of foxes," he lied. "Can't be too careful.”
Mara pursed her lips, clearly sceptical, but finally nodded. "Very well. But mind you're back by midday. And take Thomas with you."
"I will." The second lie came easier, if no less bitter. "Promise."
Turning on his heel, Darian rushed into the cottage to collect his gear, his mind already racing. It would take cunning and no small bit of luck, but if he hurried, he might still catch up with Rondar before the dwarf got too far.
And then, overprotective mothers or no, Darian would finally get his chance to save Rondar’s family.
***
Half an hour later, Darian was creeping through the underbrush at the edge of the forest, Rondar's trail clear before him. The dwarf hadn't exactly been trying to hide his passage, and to a skilled tracker like Darian, following him was almost insultingly easy.
Of course, the hardest part had been giving Thomas and his mother the slip. Darian felt a squirm of guilt over the deception – it seemed he was getting entirely too practiced at lying to the people he loved.
But it's for a good cause, he told himself for the dozenth time. Maybe the best cause of all.
And maybe, if he came back with the Rondar’s family safe…well, maybe then Mara would finally see that Darian wasn't a child anymore. That he could handle himself in the real world, just like his father.
The uncharitable thought faded as Darian spotted a familiar silhouette up ahead. There, stomping along the game trail with his head down and his thumbs hooked in his belt, was Rondar.
"Hey!" Darian shouted, stepping out from his cover. "Wait up!"
Rondar whirled, axe leaping into his hands quick as a blink. When he saw Darian, his brows furrowed.
"By Malach’s blessed balls, lad, are ye trying to get yer fool head stove in?" he growled. "I coulda taken it clean off!"
Darian lifted his chin, heart still hammering from his near miss with the axe. "Good thing you didn't. Would have been a bit tricky to rescue your family without a guide."
Rondar gaped at him, then barked out a laugh. "Rescue my…have ye lost leave of yer senses, boy? Ye'll do no such thing!"
"Yes, I will," Darian retorted. His hand fell to the knife at his belt, as if daring the dwarf to try and stop him. "You said yourself my archery could turn the tide."
"Against a lone gnoll or two, aye, maybe," Rondar said. "But an entire blasted pack of 'em?" He shook his head. "Ye'd be dead in a trice, and for what?"
"I'm coming with you. I want to help,” Darian said stubbornly.
"And I want a river of ale and a buxom wench to serve it, but we don't always get what we want!" Rondar snapped. More gently he added, "Lad, ye've a brave heart. But I'll not have yer death on my hands. Go home to yer Ma."
For a moment, Darian wavered. Rondar's concern, his obvious fear for Darian's safety, touched something deep in his chest. With his own father gone for so long, he'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have someone care about his wellbeing.
He firmed his resolve. All the more reason not to let Rondar do this alone.
"No," Darian said. "I'm sorry, but I can't. Not while I know you and your family are in danger."
He stepped forward, meeting Rondar's eyes squarely. In their orange depths, he saw surprise, frustration…and a glimmer of something like respect.
"My Ma thinks I'm hunting," Darian added. "She won't expect me back for hours. No one will come looking."
The dwarf stared at him, then threw his hands in the air. "Oh that's just fine, that is! Lie to yer Ma and come chasin' after me like a lost pup!"
Darian flushed. "I'm not a lost pup! And I can help, I know I can.” He rushed on before Rondar could interrupt. "My Ma didn't understand when I tried to explain. But she'll see reason once we come back with your family all rescued. She'll be thanking me then!"
The look Rondar turned on him was unreadable, equal parts frustration and reluctant amusement. "Or she'll take yer hide for scarin' ten years off her life and then have me hide for lettin' ye."
"She won't," Darian said, with more confidence than he felt. "It's not like when...when Da left."
He swallowed past the tightness in his throat. "I'm not running away like he did. I'm coming back, once the job's done."
Rondar's expression softened. He blew out a long sigh, then raked a hand over his beard. "Lad..."
Darian braced for rejection, for the dwarf to turn him around and march him straight back to Brookhaven. But what Rondar said surprised him.
"That Ma o' yers...she loves ye somethin' fierce. Do ye not see that?"
Darian blinked, caught off guard by this new tack. "Course I do. What's that got to do with-"
"Everythin'," Rondar said firmly. "It's got everythin' to do with the whys and wherefores o' protectin' yer family."
The dwarf sank back against a nearby tree with a grunt. He fixed Darian with a solemn eye. "Tell me lad...have ye ever lost someone? Someone that meant more to ye than anythin' else in this world?"
Darian thought of his Da walking out the door with nothing but a pack and a promise to return. A promise he'd never kept.
"Aye," he whispered. "Me Da. He went off adventuring and never came back. Not once in seven years."
Rondar grunted. "And yer Ma? How d'ye think she felt, losin' the man she loved like that?"
Darian's gut twisted. He remembered his mother standing on the cottage stoop that final morning, baby Talia on her hip. She'd been dry-eyed as she watched his father's back disappear down the road.
But for months after, he'd heard her crying herself to sleep at night when she thought he and Talia couldn't hear. He'd seen the way her hands shook as she bundled herbs and how she jumped at every knock on the door, hope and dread warring on her face.
"She was...sad," he said lamely. The word didn't come close to touching the vast well of grief he'd glimpsed in her. "Heartbroken, I reckon."
"Aye, and more'n that, I'd wager," Rondar agreed. "Betrayed. Abandoned. Like half of herself had been ripped away."
Darian stared at his boots. He didn't like thinking about his parents' marriage. It felt too big, too raw, an old wound that had never quite healed over.
"What's yer point?" he asked, more harshly than he meant.
"Me point," Rondar said steadily. "Is that yer Ma lives every day in fear o' that happenin' again. O' losin' the people she loves most. And along comes her wee lad, sayin' he's off to fight monsters with a dwarf she barely knows from a hole in the ground."
He snorted humourlessly. "Can ye blame her for wantin' to wrap ye in wool and lock ye in the root cellar til yer grown?"
Darian hadn't considered it like that. Guilt sat like a stone in his belly. But still...
"I'm not leaving her," he argued. "Not forever. I'll come back. That's the whole point."
"The whole point," Rondar countered gently. "Is keepin' yer loved ones from worryin' in the first place."
He sighed at the stubborn set of Darian's jaw. "Aye, alright, I can see there'll be no budgin' ye. And Malach knows I could use the backup. But I'll have yer oath, here and now, that ye'll heed every command I give on this mad quest. No questions and no dawdlin'. I say 'jump', ye ask 'how high'. I say 'flee', ye run like the hounds o' hell are after ye. Am I clear?"
Darian nodded vigorously. "Aye, sir. Crystal clear."
"Right then." Rondar pushed himself off the tree with a grunt. "And ye better make double sure ye apologize to yer Ma when we get back. She'll be worryin' herself sick until she sees yer face again."
Darian flinched internally at the thought of the tongue-lashing waiting for him at home. But if it meant securing Rondar's permission to accompany him...
"I will," he promised. "I'll grovel like a worm in the mud if I have to. After we bring your family back safe."
"Hmph." Rondar looked him over, then nodded once sharply. "Come on then, lad. Daylight's wastin'."
The dwarf turned and resumed his march eastward.
