ShuraZero
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Chapter 17: The Spatula and the Fury
🕑 Added 2025-10-28 03:56:11 +0000 UTCTeuchi blinked, not grasping the threat at all. His good natured smile widened.
"I said you're fast, Naruto!" he repeated, giving a friendly pat on the back to Naruto, who was still frozen and dripping. "That's what I said! I didn't know you had... well, two girlfriends at once! A shy Hyuga and a powerful guest from Suna! You've got good taste, kid! Very balanced!"
Murmurs rippled through the customers. A pair of Chūnin sitting in the corner let out choked laughs.
"Two!" one of them exclaimed. "Nice one, Naruto! You've gotta teach us your secrets!"
"Yeah! How do you do it?" shouted another.
Naruto turned red. "No! Wait! It's not like that! It's not two! It's... it's one! Well, none! It's complicated!"
Temari didn't look away from Teuchi. Her hand, the one resting on the counter, slowly began to clench. Her knuckles turned white.
"'Two'?" she repeated, her voice even lower, almost a hissing whisper. "Are you implying... that I am... 'the other one'?"
Teuchi's smile finally wavered. He began to realize the atmosphere had changed. He saw the look in Temari's eyes. He saw the clenched fist.
"Oh! Uh..." he stammered, his cheerfulness evaporating. "No? I mean...! Congratulations! Yes! To both of you! For... for being together! Or... to him! For having both of them! Lots of luck!"
He tried a nervous laugh. It sounded like someone choking.
Naruto waved his hands frantically. "She doesn't have me! And I don't have her! It's... it's different! We're... colleagues! She's my boss!"
Ayame, Teuchi's daughter, appeared in the kitchen doorway. She was wearing an apron and holding a metal spatula. She was frowning.
"Dad! Stop embarrassing the customers! What's going on out here? Your broth is going to burn!"
"Nothing, daughter!" Teuchi said, trying to regain his composure. "Just congratulating Naruto on his... double... luck! His double... engagement!"
Temari let out a low growl. A guttural sound that made the nearest Chūnin shrink in his seat.
She turned. Slowly. Toward Naruto.
Her gaze was terrifying.
"Uzumaki!"
Naruto flinched. "Y-yes!"
"Fix this!" Her voice was sharp. "Now!"
"Right! Right! Fixing it!" Naruto turned to the silent crowd, feeling dozens of eyes on him. He panicked.
"Listen up, everyone!" he yelled, his voice a bit high. "It's not what it looks like! Temari and I... we just work together! She's from Suna! She's an important Jōnin! And she's my... my supervisor! For the Chūnin exam! Nothing more!"
No one looked convinced. The murmuring continued.
"I invited... no, she invited me to eat ramen!" he continued, tripping over his words. "Because we worked a lot! Late! And we were hungry! And we're friends! Just friends! Work colleagues!"
His clumsy explanations only made things worse. The words "boss" and "assistant" hung in the air.
One customer muttered, "Ah, I see. Workplace tension. Classic."
Another nodded wisely. "Poor Hyuga girl... Engaged, and he's already with the boss."
"I'm not with the boss!" Naruto yelled.
Temari's face turned red.
"Idiot!" she hissed, her voice vibrating. "You're making it worse! Shut your mouth!"
"But...!"
Ayame stepped out from behind the counter. She had heard enough. She saw Naruto babbling incoherently, Temari about to explode, and her father smiling like a confused fool.
Her expression was severe. She walked with determination toward her father.
"Dad."
Her voice was sweet. But firm. Dangerously firm.
Teuchi turned to her, still a little dazed. "Yes, daughter?"
CLANG!
The metallic sound echoed through the stall.
Ayame had hit Teuchi on the back of the head with a small cast iron skillet she used for omelets. It was not a gentle tap.
Teuchi made an "Oof!" sound, his eyes rolled back, and he slumped silently onto the counter, lying motionless among the condiment bowls.
Ayame looked at the skillet. Then she looked at her unconscious father. She sighed.
"Stop talking nonsense." Her voice was calm. "Can't you see you're making everyone uncomfortable?"
She set the skillet on the counter with a soft clack.
She turned. Her gaze, dark and serious, landed on Naruto.
Naruto flinched instinctively. Ayame could be scary when she was angry. It reminded him of Sakura.
"And you, Naruto."
Naruto swallowed. "Y-yes, Ayame-chan?"
"I know you're an idiot."
"Hey!"
"Everyone knows it," she continued, ignoring his protest. "It's part of your... charm. I guess."
"Thanks?"
"But," her voice hardened, "openly flirting with another girl, right here, in front of everyone, when you just got engaged to Hinata-chan..."
She shook her head, her expression one of genuine disappointment. "That's low, Naruto. Even for you. I thought you had matured a little."
Naruto's jaw dropped. "FLIRTING?!"
His voice was an incredulous shriek.
"I WASN'T FLIRTING! I WAS JUST HUNGRY! AND SHE'S MY BOSS! IT'S NOT A DATE!"
Temari stepped forward, her own fury now directed at Ayame. "He wasn't flirting!" Her voice was sharp. "And I'm not 'another girl'! I am Temari of Sunagakure! Jōnin Ambassador! And this idiot is my assigned subordinate!"
Ayame looked her up and down, sizing her up with a critical gaze. She saw the strength in her posture, the intelligence in her eyes, the impatience.
"Hmph." Ayame nodded slightly. "You've got character. I like you."
Temari blinked, surprised by the sudden shift.
"But," Ayame continued, her gaze turning severe again, "you're still here, eating dinner late, alone, with someone else's fiancé. It doesn't look good."
"BUT SHE INVITED ME!" Naruto yelled again, feeling like he was losing his mind. "AND WE'RE COLLEAGUES!"
"Naruto!"
A new voice. Loud. Clear. And terribly familiar.
Naruto froze. Oh, no. Not now.
"What the hell are you screaming about now? Did they give you ramen without pork again or something?"
Sakura walked into the stall. She looked tired, with faint dark circles under her green eyes.
She stopped short when she saw the scene.
She saw Teuchi, knocked out on the counter.
She saw Ayame, standing next to him with a skillet in her hand.
She saw Naruto, completely red, waving his hands.
She saw Temari, standing tense and furious.
And she saw all the customers in the stall staring at them.
"...Okay." Sakura sighed, rubbing her forehead. "What did I miss this time? Did Naruto try to pay with an expired coupon again?"
Naruto ran to her, desperate for help. Relief flooded his face.
"Sakura-chan! You have to tell them!"
He grabbed her by the shoulders, ignoring her surprised look.
"Tell them! Tell them I'm not flirting! Tell them I don't have 'two girlfriends'! Tell them Temari is my boss! My scary boss!"
Sakura blinked, pushing Naruto's hands away. She looked at Temari. She vaguely recognized her from the Chūnin exams, the fan girl who had fought Shikamaru.
"Temari-san? From Suna?" Confusion wrinkled her brow. "What are you doing here? And why are you Naruto's boss? Since when does Naruto have a job... that doesn't involve cleaning something?"
Temari, sensing an opportunity to clear things up with someone who seemed remotely rational, regained her composure. She straightened her shoulders, adopting her ambassadorial air.
"Haruno Sakura, correct?" Her voice was formal now. Professional. "I am the Jōnin Supervisor from Sunagakure for the coordination of the new joint Chūnin exam."
Sakura nodded. "Yeah. I heard something about that. And Naruto...?"
"And this idiot..." Temari jerked a thumb at Naruto, her tone instantly becoming less formal, "...is my new liaison assigned by the Hokage. Apparently, her genius strategist was too busy sleeping."
Sakura blinked. She looked at Naruto, who was puffing his chest out with pride. She looked back at Temari.
A slow, disbelieving but amused smile began to form on Sakura's lips.
"Wait. You? As a liaison?" She looked Naruto up and down. "You replaced Shikamaru?"
"Yeah!" Naruto said, beaming. "It was a promotion! Granny Tsunade recognized my maturity! And my responsibility!"
Sakura burst out laughing. Loud and genuine. "Sure she did! I'm sure that's what it was, Naruto!" She gave him a playful nudge. "Or was it that Shikamaru finally managed to get fired for using meetings as nap time?"
Temari smirked. It was the first genuine smile she'd had all night. A smile of instant camaraderie toward Sakura.
"Exactly," she said, her voice full of vengeful satisfaction. "That lazy bum handed me a drawing of a deer looking at clouds as a security plan for the Forest of Death."
Sakura rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "That sounds painfully like Shikamaru. He probably complained that drawing the deer was a drag."
"He did," Temari confirmed.
They both shared a small laugh, united by their mutual exasperation with the Nara.
Naruto looked at them, feeling a little out of place, but also relieved. Sakura believed him. Or at least, she believed the part about the job.
"Hey, Sakura-chan!" he said, excited by the newly discovered connection. "This is Temari! She's super strong! And she has a giant fan that can cut down trees! And she's the Kazekage's sister!"
Sakura turned to Temari, her amusement replaced by a new respect. "Kazekage? You mean Gaara?"
Temari nodded, her expression softening a bit. "Yes. He's the Fifth now. He's changed a lot since... well, since the last time he was here."
"Wow." Sakura seemed genuinely impressed. "I'm glad. Naruto was right about him, I guess." She gave Naruto another playful nudge, this one a bit harder. "Even if he's still an idiot most of the time."
"Hey!" Naruto protested.
Temari looked at Sakura, a conspiratorial smile on her lips. "You have no idea," she said, leaning in a little. "I've been working with him for exactly one day. One day. And I already want to use my fan... on his head. Repeatedly."
Sakura laughed, a familiar, cheerful sound. "Welcome to the club! I use my fists. It's more direct. Less paperwork."
"Good point," Temari said, considering the idea with mock seriousness. "Maybe I should try that. Any recommendations on the impact point?"
"The back of the neck!" said Sakura. "Or the stomach."
Naruto backed away, horrified. "Wait! Stop! I'm your liaison! And your friend! And... and the husband! I mean, fiancé! You can't plan my murder in public! It's... it's... illegal!"
Ayame, who had been listening with a mix of amusement and exasperation (and making sure her father was still breathing), stepped in. She put the skillet down.
"Okay, okay," she said, with a tired smile. "It looks like this was all a big misunderstanding. I'm very sorry, Temari-san. My father is a bit... enthusiastic about Naruto's romances. He lives vicariously through him, I think."
Teuchi let out a soft snore on the counter.
Sakura turned to Ayame, her expression serious again. "But for the record, Ayame-chan, and for everyone else listening..." Her voice rose slightly. "Naruto is engaged. Officially. To Hinata Hyuga."
There were choked gasps in the stall. Surprised looks.
"It's... a complicated situation," Sakura concluded, shooting Naruto a warning glance.
Temari nodded, her face serious again. She understood the implication. This wasn't just any gossip. It was politics.
Sakura sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Ah, the tree. Of course. Why not. Only Naruto could start an international engagement by falling out of a tree."
"It wasn't international!" Naruto said. "It was... local! And accidental!"
"Whatever, Naruto," Sakura said, exhausted.
The tension had mostly dissipated. The misunderstanding seemed cleared up, though the murmurs about the "complicated engagement" continued.
Sakura ordered a bowl of ramen to go. Temari finally sat down on a stool, looking exhausted. Naruto, feeling the immediate danger had passed, refocused on his hunger.
"Old man! My ramen!" he yelled toward the kitchen. Ayame sighed and went to prepare it.
Sakura and Temari started chatting. Quietly at first, then with more animation. About Suna. About Konoha. About how exasperating Shikamaru was.
"...and then Shikamaru said," Sakura was saying, gesturing with her chopsticks, "that calculating the trajectory of the exploding kunai was 'too troublesome' and that it would probably miss anyway, so he just went to sleep under a tree. In the middle of a training exercise!"
Temari let out a laugh. "Incredible! At least Naruto shouts and moves! He does things! Stupid things, yes, but things! I'll take the constant noise over absolute inertia."
"Exactly," Sakura agreed. "He's a hyperactive puppy. Annoying, but... never boring."
"Hey! I'm right here!" Naruto said, his mouth full of noodles Ayame had finally served him.
"We know," they both said in unison, without looking at him.
Naruto kept eating, but he was only half listening. The adrenaline from the confrontation was fading, giving way to the day's exhaustion.
He looked around the stall. He saw other villagers laughing, chatting, eating. Normal life.
His smile slowly faded.
He put down his chopsticks.
He remembered the look in Hinata's eyes that morning. The fear. The uncertainty.
He remembered her absolute silence in the empty apartment.
He remembered how she had stayed there, alone, sitting in that hard chair, waiting for him. Waiting for him to come home.
Home.
Crap.
Hinata...
I left her alone. Again.
After all the chaos of the last few E-days... the onsen, fainting, the closet, Kiba, Hiashi, the execution, the forced marriage...
And now I'm here. Laughing. Eating ramen. With Sakura-chan and Temari. Like nothing happened.
She's probably at the apartment. Alone. Worried. Or... cleaning something Sakura forgot. Or... sitting in that chair. Waiting.
A pang of guilt hit him. Hard. A pang of... responsibility. Real responsibility.
She is... my fiancée.
And I left her alone.
"Hey."
His voice interrupted Sakura and Temari's lively conversation about the advantages of fists versus fans for hitting idiotic teammates.
Sakura turned, one eyebrow raised. "What is it now, Naruto? Did you choke on a noodle?"
"No." Naruto shook his head. He stood up from the stool. "I... I have to go."
Temari looked at him, surprised. "Go? Now? You haven't even finished your second bowl!" She pointed to the half eaten bowl. "Where are you going? To fight more squirrels?"
"No." Naruto avoided her gaze. He felt... strangely embarrassed. "I'm... I'm going to get Hinata."
Sakura blinked. "Hinata? Why? Did something happen?"
"No," he said, scratching the back of his neck. The old nervous habit. But the reason was new. "Nothing happened. It's just... well..."
He looked at the two kunoichi. Both strong. Capable. Independent.
He thought of Hinata. Alone. In his apartment.
"She... she should be here."
"Here?" Temari asked, confused.
"Yeah," Naruto said, his voice a little firmer. "Eating ramen. With us. Not... not alone."
He turned before they could answer.
"Thanks for the ramen, old man!" he yelled toward the kitchen. "It was delicious! I'll be back later!"
And he ran out of the stall, leaving behind a half eaten bowl of ramen, and two very surprised kunoichi exchanging an unreadable look.
