thorhighheels
patreon
No podcast this month
🕑 Added 2018-08-29 13:13:56 +0000 UTC I'll make up for it by doing an extra long one next month.But basically, the problem is is that this month has been hell. I got sick, I think. My sinuses were all clogged up, my teeth were hurting and felt very sore, and best of all, I got this really fucking obnoxious ringing sound in my ear for nearly 2 and a half weeks straight. All of that seems to have subsided now (mostly), but the anxiety and bad vibes relating to it still linger. Even better, is that my apartment complex nearly burned down the other day. Someone lit a scooter parked against the wall on fire at 5am which was great. If that was the worst of it, I just would've gotten away with the scare and nothing else, but then some scum fuck from upstairs decided to blame us for the fire. No evidence, no reason given to do so, just "yeah i think you did it" despite the fact that HE was the one walking around downstairs when it happend. The police say it's fine and the person who the scooter belonged to says he knows who did it, and obviously I know it wasn't me. But it's been weighing down on me either way. I need to get out of here, pretty much. I'm anxious enough as it is, but due to my CPTSD, stuff like this is next to crippling. I'm not equipped to fuck with this. Add to that that the usual noise and general shit that comes with living in an ancient piece of shit building, already giving me stomach pains of worry, and the fact that I feel kinda stuck here, due to all of my issues being out of my control, and I end up feeling like shit.
I was gonna record the podcast earlier today, but then my modem died, turning my PC into a lemon. My only outlet, my only distraction, was taken away from me, and I realized I need some time to think. Ultimately I'd move, which would solve all of my current worries, but as I said I don't have any control over that. It could end up happening next week, or next year. I don't know, and there's fuck all I can do about it.
Anyway, my internet should be back soon, but I've barely been able to work on my actual videos the past weeks, and I just don't feel anywhere near good enough to get dressed and appear on camera. I've been feeling kinda depressed again lately, is what I'm saying.
So I'm sorry, but then I'm also not sorry cuz none of this is my fault. Regular videos should still continue (might skip a release a couple of weeks from now but we'll see) but I just can't muster the energy to feel good enough to podcast.
Thanks for reading if you did,
Thor
Comments
Cyrus Nasseri
That makes me super happy to hear man. That's awesome. Keep it up I love all of your stuff
oh yeah yeah they did get better for sure. ive moved twice and am in a much better place now, both physically and emotionally. Aug 2018 already feels like ages ago to me now. im doing pretty great currently! thanks for caring tho <3
Cyrus Nasseri
I know this is absurdly late but man, reading this post made me cry a bit. That just sounds so fucking overwhelming and awful. I really hope things have gotten better since then. You're an awesome dude
Sorry to hear about this, Thor. I wish I could say something comforting, but I'm not the sort who can. I can only hope upon hopes that you're quick to recover, and I hope this serves as an opportunity to mentally detox. Give yourself a good long break, chill, and don't let this get to you. Take care! ^^
Just read this. What a whirlwind of misfortune man. You deserve a little time to yourself. I know all about living in apartments without control of the surrounding neighbors or environment. Man, I truly hope you find a new place. You're definitely one of the hardest working dudes I know. Much love man.
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Damn! That's fucked man, I'm really sorry you're going through all that. No worries about the podcast. I had to get my computer repaired earlier this month and that's all it took for me to legitimately hate my life for about a week. Can't imagine the distress you're going through. Much love to you Thor, take care of yourself. You can, and will get through it.
