malukah
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Extra Video - Iluso Anis
🕑 Added 2018-04-01 20:28:07 +0000 UTC I think my favorite thing about watching old videos is that in the back of my mind, I remember all sorts of details of those moments.Sometimes, I remember old insecurities I used to have... And some that I still struggle with. Usually, the first thing I notice is that "back then" (whenever the video was filmed) I felt so fat and huge and obese and blah, blah, blah. And I see myself in the videos and realized how warped my self-image was. I looked normal. Maybe not skinny, but certainly not nearly as bad as I felt I looked back then.
And when I listen to the performances, I see a strength and courage that I didn't feel at the time... but, it was there.
I have to say, I love getting to now perform while being aware of this strength. It quiets down fluttering thoughts and doubts and lets me just be.
Oh, how awesome it would be to be able to live in the present with future perspective and knowledge. I always remember all my mom's "One day, you'll see"'s. Hahaha! It's so true. Time is knowledge, and knowledge is time better spent. Though it would be nice if we learned earlier not to be so harsh with our selves.
Anyhoo, I'm rambling. Here's the extra video for.... ahem. February. I'm sorry. I have an update about this on Monday's check-in video.
Hugs to you all!
Malu
