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Darkest Before Dawn - 75
🕑 Added 2024-08-29 17:52:29 +0000 UTCChapter 75
Walking towards school as usual, Kazuki’s mind was kind of drifting.
Uwabami had really done a number on him the previous night with her idea. He had entire pages he’d written in a notebook on what they’d discussed, what he should do and other extra information that might be good to know and or research. He wasn’t looking forward to any of it, but then again, neither had he been looking forward to his internship and dealing with the press.
Needs must, and if Maeda thought it was important, he’d definitely give it a shot.
She had yet to lead him astray, after all.
Still, he was very grateful that he could put it off for some time yet. Contrary to the press thing, this wasn’t time sensitive. He could do it whenever he wanted. Granted, it was better to go for it sooner rather than later so that he could start getting results sooner too, but other than that, nothing really urged him to go for it. He could take his time to prepare himself, go through the proper process and overall be sure to be ready whenever he took the step.
That was, quite honestly, something he was immensely relieved to have.
‘A problem for future Kazuki,’ he mused to himself. He was still going through some things and he didn’t feel like putting more pressure on himself. He would, if he had to, and he probably would be fine too. However, he wanted to take it easy and enjoy having a somewhat easy time for once.
“Of course you can take your time, Kazuki,” she’d told him, which had really helped with his increasingly more frayed nerves. “You have to care for yourself first and foremost. Everything else can go from there. Don’t forget,” she told him. He didn’t remember, but he was pretty sure she’d said that or something along those lines during the internship at some point too.
As it was, he decided to heed that advice thoroughly, because enjoying an easier time sounded like just what he needed after how things had gone for a while.
‘No reporters?’ he thought, eyebrows raised as he turned the corner in the street and saw U.A.’s gates. So far, every single day there’d been at least some reporters. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but there’d always been someone. The best day had been when only one reporter had dropped by… up until he noticed that it was one of the worst ones he’d had to deal with so far.
At least he’d been alone though, so there was that.
Thus, Kazuki continued walking calmly, happy with the change of pace. Idly though, he noticed that there seemed to be a mother and her son – or maybe it was his sister? Difficult to tell and he didn’t want to assume – standing around the entrance. Maybe they had a relative in U.A.’s student body or staff? Kazuki hoped he wouldn’t scare the kid. That’d dampen the mood some if it happened.
‘Just keep going, don’t look at them,’ he told himself. If he did disturb the kid, then he could just get things done quickly by passing through. Nothing else he could do, really. Not like he could not go through the area. Neither could he hide himself. Uwabami had forbidden that, saying that he needed to be comfortable with himself and such.
He didn’t quite see things her way, considering he knew how people felt about his appearance. He did have to admit that it was nice not having to worry about which way to face so people wouldn’t notice him or wearing a cap the right way so it’d help hide him. He still wasn’t sure if it was worth the hassle, but he’d see things through. Worse came to worst, he’d just go back to hiding.
“Excuse me,” a voice called, and Kazuki glanced around almost on instinct. He paused, a little surprised, when he noticed the duo approaching him. “Mr. Endo, right?” the woman asked kindly. A quick check told him that no, neither of them was feeling bad.
“That’d be me, yes,” he answered, scrambling a little inside to pull together his best public persona. “Anything I can do for you?”
“Can I see the puppies?” the kid answered with before the woman could get a word out. Kazuki suppressed his own amusement at the way the mother – ‘Maybe sister? Still not sure.’ – had opened her mouth and then closed it, turning to give the boy a chiding look.
“My son is a fan,” the woman – ‘Confirmed mother, nice,’ he thought to himself – added with an apologetic smile. “He wouldn’t let the matter go. I know we are probably being a bother, but-”
“Not a bother at all, but I’m afraid I can’t summon the puppies for the little guy,” he told them with his best apologetic smile. He did feel sorry, especially when he felt the emotions of the boy spiking. However… “Public Quirk usage laws, I’m sure you understand,” he added, getting a nod.
“I understand, absolutely,” the woman replied, but he could tell she was disappointed. He understood too though. Quirk usage laws weren’t enforced absolutely, after all. People got away with small things all the time, so long as they weren’t too conspicuous. However, Kazuki was, once more, far from a usual example of a Japanese citizen.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, but then he paused.
“But Mr. Beacon!” the boy whined, tugging at his heartstrings something fierce. He’d even called him by his hero name. That was so unfair…
“... Actually, give me a second,” he said, giving both of them pause. Fuck it. He could at least try for the little one, he supposed. He could almost hear Minoru whispering “Monster Daddy” behind his back. Either way, he pulled out his phone and sent off a message. “Can’t disappoint a fan without giving it a try, right?” he asked while he waited, giving the boy a smile.
It was as he said it that the fact finally dawned on him. ‘I have a fan?’ he thought, almost breaking “character”. Somehow, the possibility of that happening had never quite made it to his mind. Sure, his goal was to make people like him. Or, at the very least, make people not dislike him. Io had mentioned him becoming a symbol once too, but that was somewhere between delusions and hyperbole, at least in Kazuki’s opinions.
If he could do the job he wanted without people hating his guts, then he would be happy.
He had never considered the possibility that he might get fans, people that thought he was great. It was a little out there to say he might get the kind of fanaticism that All Might had, but Kazuki had never considered he might even get a fraction of that. What was next? Autographs? Merch? ‘Io might not have been as crazy as I thought,’ he thought, somewhat baffled.
And it didn’t stop there.
The boy babbled about what he’d seen of him, which was everything apparently. He talked about the Sports Festival. He talked about his appearance at Hosu. He talked about the hospital. He talked about a bunch of the interviews he’d been in, not even only the biggest one. Kazuki almost wanted to ask why he liked him so much, but… he felt like that’d be rude, somehow.
“Even if it’s genuine, nobody likes people that are overly humble,” Maeda had told them once. Kazuki wasn’t sure if that was true though, or if she was trying to push them to have more confidence. Either way, he’d tried to take the lesson to heart.
“Well, it seems that you can see the puppies, buddy,” Kazuki commented, after receiving a message and checking it. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning when he saw the child’s expression brighten up, but then again, he didn’t try too hard either. “Come along. We just need to get in U.A. property and I’ll be able to use my Quirk. I have permission.”
‘Thanks, Nezu, you crazy whatever-you-are,’ Kazuki thought to himself.
Funnily enough, he thought he might be just as – if not more – excited about this little thing as the boy was. How often was it that he could make someone happy by making a Grimm? Admittedly far more often those days than through much of his life, but Kazuki didn’t think the awe at that fact would ever pass. They were creatures of negativity, after all, so he was very much shocked that he could turn that into any sort of positive.
“Ok then. So, puppies, right?” he asked, turning to regard the boy with a smile. Glancing up a little, he saw the woman looking fondly at the scene before her, but mostly to her son.
“Yes! They are my favorites! Can you make the others though?! The snakes are so cool! And the birds are amazing! And the cats-!” Kazuki was getting an idea about how things would go, so he got started right away. A grin spread over his face with every Baby Grimm that he made appear, watching the boy – Kin, as he learned through the whole thing – have the time of his life.
“Thank you,” the mother told him, having moved to stand beside him as they watched the boy play. Time had passed by then, more students had arrived and some of them had even stopped to watch. A girl had even asked to play with a Sabyr Kitten for a bit, which Kazuki had readily helped her with. Alas, classes were fast approaching, so… “I knew she was right.”
“She?” he asked, turning to look at her. He’d been about to wave off her gratitude, but that statement had caught him off guard.
“Uwabami,” the woman answered, as if it were obvious. However, it very much wasn’t. “I didn’t know how to get in contact with you and I didn’t want to come just to have Kin’s little heart broken. So, I did what I could and sent a message to her hoping it’d get through. Imagine my surprise when she replied fairly quickly, assuring me it’d be fine.”
‘Imagine my surprise hearing about this,’ Kazuki wanted to tell her. Alas, he felt like that might be a bit of an overreaction. He was very shocked to hear that, but it also made some sense. Although… Had Uwabami sent that message before or after talking to him? Was she telling him that if he followed through with her latest idea, he might give the chance for people like Kin to show up?
Because it was effective, he’d admit.
Manipulative as hell, but still effective.
Or maybe it was all a lucky coincidence though. The possibility was there, if not high. One way or another though, he wasn’t really angry at Uwabami. She had earned herself so much goodwill in his books that he didn’t know what she could do to piss him off.
“I’m glad you decided to come,” was all that Kazuki said to the woman in the end, despite his thoughts going a bit crazy.
“Can I… take a picture?” she asked him hesitantly and he was a bit confused by the question and the nervousness that came with it. Why would she be worried about asking that? Asking was fine, sure. Maybe he would say no for whatever reason, but her emotions threw him for a bit of a loop. That is, before she added: “And um, I would like to post them, if you don’t mind.”
“... Why?” he asked, more apprehensive than annoyed or anything. He almost wanted to ask if she’d lied with her little story before. It felt a little too convenient after his chat with Uwabami. However, her emotions hadn’t gone anywhere that might make him think “liar” at any point and he had been checking… since the whole thing felt too good to be true.
Alas, it seemed to be, surprisingly enough.
‘Either Uwabami is a genius mastermind… or she’s one lucky woman,’ he thought to himself wryly.
“Take as many as you want, but… Don’t you think it’ll go badly for you?” he answered hesitantly. It’d suck a whole fucking lot if his first fan was screwed over for… being his fan. That’d just be a gut punch to end all gut punches, quite frankly.
“I thought about that,” the woman replied, a wide grin on her face, telling him that her nervousness hadn’t been about that. “But how can I be afraid of showing the world my child’s hero?” she told him.
As he looked at her.
As he looked at Kin.
As he went over her words.
Kazuki realized that his future had already been decided.
Damn Uwabami, that lucky, cunning snake woman.
[}-o-{]
“Kazukiiiii!” Mina cried out, rushing at him and hugging him pleadingly. “You have to help me study!” she exclaimed, sounding to the world like a woman asking to be saved from doom. Kazuki, for his part, just looked at her, unimpressed.
“You know there are like, five people over me in grades, right? Two of which are in our friend group,” he replied flatly. Sure, maybe it was a bit of a stretch to call Momo and Shoto their friends when it was more like they were his friends. Still, they weren’t mean enough and didn’t dislike her enough to refuse to help her…
Or so he thought, at least.
“But they are in a league of their own! They don’t know how it is for us smooth-brained people!” she cried out. Credit where credit was due though, her dramatics were top notch.
“Are you calling me smooth-brained?” he asked, eyebrow raised.
“They don’t understand our plight! Please, you have to help me,” she continued, completely ignoring what he’d said. Despite the annoyance he felt at the backhanded compliment – if it could even be called that –, Kazuki was starting to feel a little embarrassed by the scene she was causing. Kyoka’s and Minoru’s amused expressions weren’t helping, quite honestly.
The slight hurt from Momo did dampen the mood though.
“I wouldn’t mind some help,” Toru mumbled, shifting where she stood.
“Same,” Eijiro added bluntly and apparently not embarrassed at all.
“You’ll help me, right? Guys?” Kazuki asked, turning to look at Kyoka and Minoru. They were about as good as he was, actually. In the graded school work they’d had to do, their grades were usually barely a few points short of his and they’d been over his a few times. Well, except for rescue. Nobody was better than him when it came to rescue written and practical work.
He was very proud of that, actually.
“Sure.”
“Do I have to?” Minoru asked, earning himself more than a few looks. “Fine,” he grumbled.
“I’ll do my best to help too, despite the fact that I’m “in a league of my own”,” Shoto offered in his usual entirely too serious way.
“S-Same here,” Momo added, visibly unsure if her help would be well received. Maybe Kazuki would have to have words with Mina about what she said. Then again, Momo needed to stop taking things people said to heart like that. She was getting better, but she reminded him of Shoto, in a sense.
Why were there so many maladjusted people in their class? Going through the list, he found that there were entirely too many and it was kind of concerning. Maybe he’d have to encourage more people to go to Inui. God knew some of them could really use the help. Then again, he didn’t hold many hopes of convincing Bakugo to go for it.
Although, hope was the last thing one lost and all that.
“Well, I guess we have a more serious study group right now,” he commented, rubbing his eyelids tiredly.
“Hey, vice-president! Can we join?!” Sero called out and Kazuki felt just about done with life at that moment. Was he going to play teacher now? Was that what his somewhat calm life was turning into now? Was that his fate?
“Sure,” he mumbled, even more tired. At the rate things were going, he’d have to deal with the whole class, sans Bakugo, maybe. He was so not looking forward to that.
He was looking forward to the summer break school trip though.
That sounded like the kind of thing little Kazuki would have dreaded, but that was back when being around people sucked and everyone was either scared or disturbed by him. That was back when nothing was good and things just went from bad to worse and vice versa. When school sucked and home sucked even more, that was what little Kazuki had had to deal with. So, the prospect of being around people that were enjoying themselves while he was miserable didn’t quite appeal to him, really.
Now though… Now everything had changed. He had friends and schoolmates that he quite liked or at least tolerated. Going on a school trip with them honestly sounded great. It sounded like they’d make some nice memories and they’d all have fun together.
He couldn’t wait.
“You look happy,” Toru commented, poking his cheek. “Maybe you actually like the idea of teaching? Are you Aizawa Junior?” she asked, clearly amused. Despite her words though, Kazuki’s smile didn’t go away, but it did become smaller, softer.
“I’m just looking forward to the school trip for the break. It’ll be nice,” he commented, leaning back on his seat. “Having friends is great,” he said, very aware that it sounded incredibly sad. However, he couldn’t not say it. Not when at times like that, it was so overwhelming a feeling.
“Yes, it is,” Momo agreed, looking down with her own shy smile.
“It’s kind of… warm,” Shoto joined, clearly struggling to put words to it. Kazuki understood though, and so the lonely trio shared a quiet moment of appreciation of their situation. The rest of their friends and some classmates started feeling pity, sadness and even some anger – that last one was a little surprising –, but he found he could easily ignore that.
Once more, he found himself slightly in awe of the fact that sometimes bad emotions could fill him with good ones. After all, their classmates felt like that because they cared. They wanted them to be happy. Kazuki would never not be happy knowing that there were people that felt like that about him.
With that in mind…
“So, I guess I better get started thinking on how to go about this group studying,” Kazuki commented, his smile turning determined. “If a single one of you doesn’t pass your tests… I’ll make sure you regret it,” he announced.
Because nobody would ruin the trip for him. He wanted everyone there. He wanted to have a good time. He wanted to enjoy the trip with everyone, even those that he wasn’t friends with or even so much as got along well with.
Several faces paled, but they had asked for it.
[}-o-{]
“So, you are doing better?”
“I think so,” Kazuki answered, leaning back on his chair. “Is it weird, that I find it kind of anticlimactic, how quickly I dealt with this issue?” he commented. What did it say about him that good times caused issues and easy fixes felt wrong?
Probably nothing he’d appreciate, he guessed.
“Just like you are used to negative emotions, you are used to struggling,” Inui told him, the all-knowing voice of wisdom that he was. Kazuki kind of hoped he could sound that sure and wise when he got older. It was pretty cool. Inui seemed to fucking have it together, surprisingly.
It was probably an act of some kind, like Uwabami’s public persona, but still.
Impressive stuff.
“It’s not weird at all,” Inui continued with that overwhelmingly understanding tone of his. “It’s just how you’ve developed to react to these things. I can’t make promises, of course, but I hope you’ll learn that good things can happen to you, Kazuki, maybe even without struggles,” the man added and he could only reply with a sad smile.
“I like your optimism,” he said simply, taking a deep breath in and letting it out. “Do you think I’ll be a halfway well-adjusted person at some point?”
“You’re already more or less there, depressing as that might sound,” Inui told him and Kazuki didn’t know why he said it like that though. Being there sounded pretty good for him. He thought he was much worse than that himself. “You’re making remarkable progress too, Kazuki, so don’t feel discouraged. Your situation as a whole is a huge setback for you, but you’re handling it. Between that and the natural process of you getting used to your new situation, you’ll be fine.”
As the man had said, that wasn’t a promise, but Kazuki still found those words incredibly relieving. ‘I’ll be fine,’ he repeated to himself in his mind, turning to look out the window to the side. Had he ever thought or said those words out loud and seriously believed them? If he had, he didn’t remember.
“So, what’s the next step in being this weird “fine” thing you are talking about?” Kazuki asked, half jokingly as he looked at the counselor once more. If anyone could be held responsible for him getting as far as he had, that was Inui, after all. He had to admit though, Uwabami was doing her damn best to give him a run for his money.
Then there was Nezu, which was the whole reason he even had half a chance to begin with.
Kazuki couldn’t forget that.
“I think you just need to continue as you are. No big steps that I can think of,” Inui told him and he wondered if that was true. Everything had been one big step after the other, or so it felt to him. “I know you got used to those,” the man continued, almost as if he could read his mind. Sometimes, Kazuki wondered if that was his Quirk and the dog mutation was just bait. “But you can also take it easy and with baby steps too, Endo.”
“I know, I just… Now that I have nothing to work towards, it feels like I’m doing nothing,” he commented, looking up at the ceiling as if it could give him answers. Unfortunately, U.A.’s structure didn’t deign him with one and neither did Nezu, if he was watching. He doubted that last one though. The counselor office was supposed to be private and the cameras only for surveillance in case of emergencies. In a hero school, that was probably a necessity and if you couldn’t trust U.A. about that kind of stuff then… Yeah. “I keep getting more and more screwed up in the head than I previously thought I was.”
“You’re fine,” Inui told him and he’d have liked to believe him, he really would have. “Not every issue you come across is a big deal, Kazuki. “Normal” people also have issues. I won’t lie to you and say you are normal, but not every single thing about you is wrong or weird. Allow yourself to have some lows, everyone has them.”
“I know, I just…”
“You have high standards for yourself, which isn’t a bad thing, but you should take it one step at a time, Kazuki,” Inui told him calmly and he had to take a moment to realize that the man wasn’t wrong. It was just… “There’s nothing wrong with big goals, but you have to know that it’ll take time, there’ll be a long path to get there. You are an impressive kid and you’ve done really well so far. Be proud of that, instead of disappointed that you aren’t better.”
“I know, I know,” he said, sighing.
“Now, is there anything you want to talk about?” Inui asked him and he took a long moment to consider that. Only one thing popped in his mind and, amusingly enough, it was setting a big step for himself instead of taking things easy. “You got something, huh?”
“Something like that,” he answered, wondering if he should go for it… Then he realized that Inui would just tell him if it was a bad idea. “So, I don’t know how much you can help me with this, but I do have something I’m sort of, but not really, working on.”
“... I’m listening.”
[} Chapter End {]
Hey guys! How’s it going?
I’m sure you’ve noticed by now but I tend to skip some canon scenes. I mostly do this when there’s not enough change in them to really bother. I’d rather not just write canon with some minor changes if I can help it. One example of that is what happened with the school trip announcement, for example.
With that said, I don’t know how good it looks from your side of things. Is it weird to just jump over that stuff? Would you like me to write it anyway? Let me know.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Discord Link: discord.gg/UTDransjJZ
Random Question: Do you have a favorite shirt? How does it look? Mine, right now, is a plain dark-ish gray one with long sleeves. It’s simple as fuck, but it’s really comfortable, which is really 80% of what I care about when it comes to clothes.
See you.
