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Darkest Before Dawn - 92
🕑 Added 2024-12-26 17:54:22 +0000 UTCChapter 92
Kazuki let out a long, drawn out breath as he worked on his shadow control.
It was something he could do at his apartment, after all. It wasn’t like his shadows could knock over stuff or anything. They were just… lack of light, after all. Or maybe they were manifestations of negativity like his Grimm? Could even be both, he supposed. If that was what was going on, then they required next to no actual negativity to produce, because he hadn’t noticed any drain even during his craziest experiments with the new aspect of his Quirk.
Truly, the most he could do was just cover things in darkness, but that could be useful in its own way at some point. Which was why he practiced it, really, even if it was also something he could do in his free time that didn’t really require effort or anything. It’d come in handy at some point, he was sure. If nothing else, he could try to cover someone else and blind them with a veil of darkness over their eyes.
That sounded much more impressive than it was, considering how difficult it was to pull off. It was much harder for Kazuki, after all, to cover a moving person than it was to cover a static piece of furniture. Maybe one day though, who knew? And it’d be much easier to block windows and such, even if that was more circumstantial. What he did know though, was that it was unlikely that the shadows would ever be a big part of his repertoire, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be useful to have.
Might as well spend some of his idle time working on it.
Besides, it was kind of fun, so that helped.
So, for the moment, he continued playing around, creating shadow shapes on the wall in front of him while drinking coffee. It was definitely a nice way to waste some time without worrying about things. And boy were there things in his mind that he needed a distraction from. There was his mother’s mess, of course, which he still didn’t know what was going on. The news didn’t seem to have any clue either which wasn’t helping him deal with it.
He was doing a good job at pushing that aside though.
Less easy was the much more present and looming threat… of his interview for the movie.
The weekend was upon him and without exams anymore, the chance that Hina had got for him had replaced them. The interview time was almost up and he didn’t want to push for the absolute last day. Wouldn’t be a good look either, according to his mentor. So, he’d be going the following day together with Itsuka. Apparently, she had another ad chance courtesy of Hina too.
It’d be nice to have someone around to prevent him from being too nervous.
The thing was, Kazuki had already done plenty of rehearsing by himself and coached by Hina. He’d also studied and prepared for that according to what his mentor told him. None of that helped him feel more confident though. After all, he still had trouble conceiving this idea that he had a chance at getting a role – an important one at that – in an actual movie.
At the moment though, he was taking a break while waiting for Hina to call. They’d be going over things once more time and then it’d just be waiting for the interview. Hina herself had told him not to overdo it with the practices and to try and keep himself calm somehow. Easier said than done, but Kazuki was used to having to deal with bad emotions.
Thus, his current state of idle shadow controlling to pass time. It wasn’t doing a great job, considering his mind had managed to drift back to the topic he wanted to avoid, but all in all it was helping. He was really piling up hobbies to try and combat his mess of a brain, Kazuki realized. Games, plants, an aquarium, violin and now shadow shows, all in a list of things that he could use to pull away from the world, his Quirk and his own issues.
Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be a normal person.
His thoughts were interrupted then, but not by his own attempts. Instead, it was the door ringing that pulled him away, making the shadows return to normal and his mind focus on something else. A little confused and curious, Kazuki stood and moved to check who it might be. Not often that he got unexpected visits, after all.
Closest things were his minders and-
“Hi,” was the casual and friendly greeting he got and his lips tugged up into a smile. “I’m not interrupting something, am I?”
“Just my mind being dumb as usual,” he replied. “You don’t need to prepare meals for me anymore, you know? Exams are over,” he added, but Nemuri just waved him off without a care.
“Of course, but that doesn’t mean I can’t continue doing it, right? Besides, we are technically your guardians, so I thought I might as well do a proper job,” Nemuri said, looking friendly and cheerful as she ever was. However, Kazuki narrowed his eyes as he noticed some underlying anger and pity and… other emotions. It was certainly an interesting mix, but what he took from all that was simple.
“Uh huh, now, what’s the truth?” he asked her and the heroine grimaced.
“It was worth a try,” she mumbled with a sad smile on her face.
“A valiant attempt. So…?” he replied with a raised eyebrow.
“I got some news,” Nemuri said, sounding like she wanted to talk about anything but that.
“About my mother? Weird that Nezu didn’t call directly again,” he commented, suddenly feeling absolutely spent. There was nothing else she could have to talk about that would have her that reluctant, at least that he knew of. Her emotions when he asked kind of gave it away too. With a sigh, he waved the woman in and went to finish his coffee. It didn’t help much, but at least he tried. “What is it?”
“I just heard why they arrested her,” Nemuri said and Kazuki nodded, bracing himself. “Child abuse. Psychological abuse and neglect, specifically,” she added, to which he sighed and deflated on his chair. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing for you to be sorry about,” he replied, looking down at his almost empty cup of coffee and smiling wearily. “Someone else, or me?” he asked and he nodded ever so slightly at the instant answer via emotions. “I’m not surprised, not really. How’d this get started though? I didn’t do anything.” Maybe UA had pulled strings? Nezu?
“Officially, your interviews got enough attention that someone decided to look into things,” Nemuri told him, almost like she’d practiced that answer.
“And unofficially?”
“Who knows?” she answered with, shrugging and giving him a warm smile. Evidently, she either really didn’t know – doubtful – or she couldn’t tell him. Now that he thought about it though, he wasn’t sure he cared. “Now, what do you feel like eating?”
“Nothing?” he asked, knowing that she wouldn’t let that fly, evidenced by the sad but unyielding look she gave him. With another sigh, he tried to give it some thought. ‘Great, went from nervous to just done in a single minute,’ he thought, almost amused by that sharp change. Almost. “Whatever you want, honestly,” was all the answer he could offer at that moment, finishing his coffee.
It tasted like ashes.
“Of course,” Nemuri replied simply, already moving towards the kitchen to check what was in his fridge. Kazuki almost couldn’t hear the sounds she made over the noise in his mind. He felt… oddly detached though. It reminded him of…
Of the time after the Sports Festival.
The thing is, back then, he’d kind of understood. He was affected because all his efforts had been almost for nothing. His existence had blown up and his mother had done nothing but throw fuel onto the flames. He’d had a terrible time at the Sports Festival too.
It was different then and there. Sure, he’d had a terrible few days with the exams and all, but other than that… Nothing had happened. Hell, things were going well. He’d passed his tests fairly well, even if he didn’t have the grades yet. He was confident that he’d at least passed everything. He was about to try and be in a good role in a movie. Things with his friends were going great. All was fine.
Even his mother getting arrested was fine. He had no delusions that what he’d gone through in his childhood was anything but messed up. A number of people had told him and he only needed to put some other child in his place to realize that yes, that was indeed all sorts of wrong. Still though, it felt… odd that she was apparently going to be punished for what she did, even if he didn’t know why.
He guessed he’d never considered the possibility. His father had gotten away with everything all the way up to… What had happened. His mother had been even less likely to be held accountable for anything, considering she’d left and never looked back. She was away from him and surely that meant any chance had vanished.
Except it hadn’t?
Kazuki was having trouble wrapping his head around that, quite honestly.
And the worst part was…
“I’ll have to talk, won’t I?” he asked and the sounds in the kitchen stopped.
“The police and the heroes will handle it if you don’t want to. Lots of useful Quirks around that make complicated situations simple,” Nemuri said, but she was avoiding the question. The answer was that he should, but didn’t have to. He could read between the lines well enough, especially after his training with Hina.
The heroine probably hadn’t had that sort of situation in mind though.
“I don’t mind talking,” he said.
“Don’t you?” the woman asked him softly and he heard her closer this time, probably had moved back to the living room. He didn’t blame her for doubting. Even Kazuki himself didn’t know if he was telling the truth with that statement.
“I always thought she’d just… get away with everything and nothing would happen. I’d accepted that-”
“Accepting something and resigning yourself are different things, Kazuki,” Nemuri told him, placing her hand on his shoulder. There was a point to what she said, but it sounded like the same thing to him then and there.
“Either way,” he continued while feeling a knot forming in his throat. “What I’m trying to say is that I had made my peace with that. Now though… Now I want something to happen. I don’t want this to just… fail.”
“You don’t want to hope for nothing,” she summarized and he stiffened the smallest bit. The hand on his shoulder squeezed, somehow taking some of the weight off of him and allowing him to take a deep breath in. Then he let it out, relaxing his tense body as best he could.
“I-”
Whatever he was going to say though, was interrupted by the phone ringing. It was Hina, he knew without checking. He’d been waiting her call before, after all, so that made sense. At that moment though… He both wanted and didn’t want to talk to her. It always felt like he was leaning on her too much and he felt bad for that. Nemuri was supposed to be his minder, his guardian in a sense, just like the rest of the UA staff. Inui’s job was to help him with his issues to boot.
Hina though? She just did it because… He didn’t even know why she put up with him, really.
“Answer that,” Nemuri told him, holding both of his shoulders, giving them a squeeze and then leaving. He waited for a whole second after that before picking up the phone. For a single moment, he considered lying, or acting, or just… coming up with some excuse to not talk with Hina then and there, to wait for a better moment.
Instead, he answered the phone.
“Took your sweet, sweet time, didn’t you?” she said as a greeting, sounding more amused than annoyed. “Did I call at a bad time or something?”
“... Both?” he answered blandly.
“... What happened, Kazuki?”
[}-o-{]
“Everything alright?” Itsuka asked him as they sat on the train.
“Yeah, you?” he replied simply, trying not to be curt even if that answer sort of was. He wasn’t feeling in a great mood, really. Nemuri and Hina had done a great job keeping him company and cheering him up, but they could only do so much. Nemuri couldn’t live in his apartment, after all, no matter how much freedom her pseudo-guardian status gave her. And Hina was kind of limited by the need to be on a phone call and the fact that she also had her own life to attend to.
All in all though, Kazuki was feeling better.
He was sure it’d be a matter of a few days before he felt fine once more and that’d be that. Life was like that, he supposed. There were good days and bad days and it was just a matter of getting through the latters to reach the formers. Or maybe that was his own skewed perception? Sometimes he wasn’t sure.
“I’m fine,” Itsuka replied, but she seemed more unsure than anything. Like she wasn’t sure what to say or do. It made Kazuki want to sigh, but he was sure that wouldn’t help much.
“I’m actually alright,” he told her with a slight smile. “Not great, but alright. Nothing to worry about.”
“I’ve… been watching the news more, since the internship,” Itsuka commented, fidgeting with the strap of her bag. For some reason, hearing that made him happy. She’d been very unsure and somewhat disappointed with her internship choice back when they were just getting to it. To see that she’d actually taken some things from that made him happy, even if it had nothing to do with him. “It looks rough.”
“It is,” he said, deciding to be honest. “But not much I can do other than what I’m already doing,” he commented as he leaned back against his seat and rested his head against the backrest. “Like always, it’ll suck before it gets better.”
“I guess…”
“What about you though? Everything alright?” he asked, kind of repeating himself, but maybe the answer would be different this time? She didn’t seem so uncomfortable then, at least, so he was optimistic… surprisingly.
“Yeah. I’m kind of excited, actually. I know ads aren’t all that, but still…” Itsuka commented, a smile forming on her face. She seemed to be telling the truth, if only going by how much her expression lit up just talking about it. “I don’t know if I’m confident in going for a movie, or if I even want to, but maybe in the future. It’ll be good to have someone to help me get a spot, eh?” the girl commented, amusement in her voice as she pushed her shoulder against him teasingly.
Kazuki just rolled his eyes.
“Provided I actually have a spot myself in the industry, sure, I’ll help you out,” he said, his lips tugging up into a smile. “I’m kinda nervous about that, but I guess one good thing about this mess is that it’s distracting. The interview doesn’t seem like such a big deal right now.”
Then again, maybe he was just numb to almost everything at the moment. It was a distinctive possibility. Surprisingly, he felt too tired to feel bad, or maybe too tired of feeling bad? The point was that Kazuki was feeling more drained by the whole thing with his mother than he was feeling bad about it, nevermind everything else.
“I hope things go well,” Itsuka told him with a hesitant smile that he returned.
“Gotta have that spot secure in the future, huh?” he asked, his grin turning teasing. “I see how it is,” he added, getting a huff and a shoulder shove in response. “Woah, violent.”
“Shut up, Kazuki,” Itsuka grumbled. “You’ll make me feel bad,” she added and he almost grimaced when he noticed that there was some truth there. Well, time to switch gears.
“Any other plans for the weekend other than the ad?” he asked, changing topics. The redhead didn’t seem to mind though, thankfully.
“Well, Maeda said she wouldn’t mind me hanging around if I wanted a little unofficial internship. I’m guessing the same goes for you?” the girl answered. He nodded at the question too. Of course he was going to try and learn more. Hina was full of knowledge that would be really useful for him at one point or another. He was looking to learn as much as possible from her PR team too, so that he could better work with the Management students and prepare for his social media debut.
That made him infinitely more nervous than the movie, truly.
“Need all the help I can get,” he commented, snorting. “And I have a list of things to check with her agency, courtesy of some Management students I’ve made friends with.”
“I heard,” Itsuka said, making him raise an eyebrow at her. It wasn’t like they were very obvious, after all. They only ever met at Mei’s spot in the Support area although Kazuki was considering hanging out with them somewhere else too. If only just to get the overeager Support student out a little, because she was entirely too much of a workaholic. “People talk and I’ve heard a whisper or two about your little agency,” Itsuka explained, somewhat reading his mind through his expression.
‘Thinking about it, the Management students had heard about it too, hadn’t they?’ Kazuki mused to himself.
“What’s up with that, by the way?” Itsuka asked then.
“Well, I was just hanging with my team from the Sports Festival, really, and it just so happened that Mei is a Support student, so we kind of started working together. Then they kept calling me Boss and Chikuchi seems to like the idea of being my sidekick, for some reason,” Kazuki started explaining, trying to see if he was the weird one for thinking the whole thing was… well, weird. “Then I needed some help from people from the Management students and they decided to tag along with the group too.”
“Having fun setting up your own agency, huh?” Itsuka commented with a giggle.
“Something like that, I guess,” he replied, smiling wryly.
[}-o-{]
“Welcome back, Mr. Endo, Ms. Kendo,” the receptionist at Hina’s agency greeted them, all smiles and warmth. It brought a smile to Kazuki’s face. It wasn’t… rare for him to be received well – anymore, that is –, but that was usually with people he was more involved with, friends and such.
This woman, for her part, hadn’t exchanged more than some brief and meaningless words with him. She was there to greet them and tell them where to go and little else. Kazuki was pretty sure that if it weren’t for the tag on her uniform, he wouldn’t even have known her name.
Yet, there she was, greeting them warmly all the same, and he appreciated that.
“It’s good to be back,” Itsuka replied with a beaming smile of her own and he nodded at the woman.
“Things haven’t been too boring without us here, have they?” he commented, although he meant it somewhat self-deprecatingly, at least in the privacy of his mind. The agency probably had it a lot easier when he wasn’t around.
Alas, Hina seemed determined not to let him shy away from her, and the agency by extension.
“Not at all,” the receptionist answered and if she was bothered or took his comment as he’d actually meant it then she hid it well, even from her own emotions. “Uwabami is waiting for you in the usual room. I can take you there if you want.”
“We know the way, thank you,” Kazuki replied with a smile of his own. He didn’t want to disturb the woman’s work too much… And if she didn’t have anything to do, no need to mess that up for her either, really.
Besides, he was kind of in a good mood, he realized with some surprise. Despite the mess that he’d been those days, even on the way there, maybe even those weeks, Kazuki found that he was feeling much better for no reason. Or maybe it wasn’t for no reason. He was away from UA, after all, which was a place full of worries and other bad emotions for him, even if they were very supportive and all.
Uwabami’s agency though? Well, there were some bad feelings related to the place, but all in all it was in a much better spot regarding his mood. Kazuki himself wasn’t too clear on the specifics, but he wasn’t in a rush to question this. He was just happy to not be feeling dead inside any longer. He’d enjoy that for however long that lasted.
That’s what he thought as Itsuka and him walked through the agency halls.
“Hey, kids! Long time no see!” was the greeting they got as soon as they walked through the door, ambushed by a happy hug monster that pulled them into her arms. He actually barely got a glimpse of Uwabami before she got to him. By the time he processed things, there was already an arm around his neck and he was pressed to Itsuka and Hina with one of the latter’s snakes peeking at him from so close he went a little cross-eyed. “I missed you so much!”
“You call every other day,” Itsuka pointed out, a little amused but still returning the hug. ‘So, it’s not just me?’ Kazuki thought to himself, a little surprised. Maybe he shouldn’t be though.
“It’s not the same!” Hina argued, pulling away a little to look at them. “You look so good! Nice to see you’ve been taking care of yourselves.”
“Pretty sure you’d hunt us down if we didn’t,” Kazuki commented dryly. The response he got was a beaming unrepentant smile though, unsurprisingly. She wasn’t going to deny it, by the looks of it. “Things going well over here?”
“Yup. All’s going amazingly. Thanks for the PR boost,” she told him and he didn’t detect a single hint of a hidden negative emotion behind her smile. That was actually quite shocking, honestly. “Didn’t expect that? Sure, some people are kicking up a fuss, but they don’t matter. The ones who matter are the ones that can appreciate things and you’ve helped me find some.”
“You’re welcome?” he replied hesitantly.
“Things must be going well indeed, if you had time to get a lesson ready,” Itsuka commented, looking past their mentor. Following her gaze, Kazuki saw two clothes racks, each with clothes for one of them. Behind those, there were two boxes, one big one on Itsuka’s side and a much smaller one on his side.
“No lesson, no. These are gifts,” Hina said and he blinked at her. “And rewards, for doing well in your exams!”
“They are just first term exams though,” Itsuka pointed out, feeling a little awkward. Which was much better than how he was feeling.
“And we haven’t gotten our grades yet,” Kazuki added.
“Pff, as if you could fail. I’m sure both of you did great, from what you told me,” Hina waved off as easily as she breathed. “And besides, first term or not, these are your first exams in hero school and those are always important.”
They were?
“They are?” Itsuka asked, blinking at the woman.
“More pressure, since you’ve just arrived at the school, and you’ve got to prove what you can do, to them and to yourselves. I know how it goes, kids. Believe it or not, I went to hero school too,” Hina told them jokingly. “Now, go on, check out your gifts. We can change anything you don’t like,” she added, moving behind them and pushing them towards the items in question.
Still feeling a little awkward, both of them caved all the same. The clothes were great, but then again, Hina knew exactly what they liked and she’d already gone through a pretty thorough process of choosing clothes with them before. No way she could mess that up even if she tried, with as good as she was at that sort of thing.
Try as he might though, Kazuki was the most drawn towards the last gift.
The solitary box.
“State of the art training equipment for martial arts,” he heard Hina say and he turned to see her explaining Itsuka’s gift to the somewhat confused girl. A few taps here and there and the metal box opened in different ways to present different training machines, as stated. “And you, go on,” she told him, but there was a softness to her smile that caught him off guard a little.
And it also made him curious.
So, he crouched to look at his much smaller box. It was too big to be shoes, too light to be books or any kind of equipment unless it was presented in a much bigger box. Maybe some kind of accessory? Ultimately there was no use in guessing, really, when he could just open it and…
Pulling the lid off, he stared at the contents of the box. Time seemed to stop, although it was more likely that he just froze there. He blinked several times, each quicker than the last as his vision grew blurry. With shaking hands, he gingerly picked it up, the wood feeling so… smooth and precious to his fingers. He lifted it, feeling like it was the heaviest thing ever or like his arms were suddenly about as strong as wet paper.
All throughout, he tried to swallow the knot in his throat as he stood back up and looked at it.
“... Do you like it?” he heard Hina ask, which was just dumb.
Thinking about it, when had been the last time he’d gotten a gift? The aquarium and the photo board from his friends came to mind, but they’d done that partly as a gift and partly as a thank you for helping at the USJ. He’d gotten some other gifts too, he supposed, like the clothes and costume that Hina had given him and Itsuka, or other small things from his friends.
None of them felt quite as important as this one, although he wasn’t sure why.
“I love it,” he managed to say, almost choking on the words. “I love it,” he repeated, moving towards the woman and wrapping her in a hug, careful not to hit her with her gift as he did so.
“I’m glad,” Hina replied softly, hugging him back much more gently than she had before. “Maybe you can play it for me?”
“Of course,” he told her immediately.
Because, at that moment, he could think of nothing better to do with the violin than just that.
[} Chapter End {]
Hey guys! How’s it going?
I don’t have much to say about this chapter. I’m happy with it though, so there’s that. I don’t feel unsure about any of the parts here. Sure, there’s the Midnight part, which some people seem to still be iffy about even after I’ve explained it, but I guess I just have to deal with that.
Personally, I think it’s going well, but it’s proven somewhat divisive.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter though.
I also hope that you had a good time at Christmas and I wish you a Happy New Year.
Important: I’m going on a vacation at the end of this week, as I announced some time ago. Thus, I won’t be updating anything for a whole month. Wish me luck, guys, because pre-vacation times have not been kind to me.
Discord Link: discord.gg/UTDransjJZ
Random Question: When’s the last time you traveled and where? Last time I traveled I was going to a small town for a belated birthday visit for my father’s aunt.
See you.
