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Do y’all want me to rewrite chapter 9

🕑 Added 2024-10-26 13:58:17 +0000 UTC

Comments

ShinySpiritomb

Eh, I say just re-write the parts you feel iffy about. No need to redo the whole chapter unless you feel like you have to.

ThisIsNotCool

It's like the si was randomly replaced with another with a similar but somehow more asshole personality.

ThisIsNotCool

Feels a bit weird compared to previous chapters. Way more references and not for the better.

ModNsparksPhilo22

Depends on what you want. The guilt vs indifference rant went a bit long, but overall his action still fit the idea of him (of a mercurial detached overpower SI) . If you want to rewrite and trim it a bit, keep this beautiful line please. “Anyway, I was an asshole but a beautiful one and thus unburdened by the stupid angst that tried to worm itself into my brain”

GoT779

Do what you think is best

allen 1996

I honestly thought I did in it. I think there was a line where he said maybe I’m more affected than I thought by all of this

Skrubstar

I would probably say rewrite it? The description is really jarring, and detracts quite a bit from the aloof perspective, and a constantly slew of references. I’d say consider it, because you’re on a crossroads of either the story reads like this now, or it goes back to more similar to how it was before. I appreciated how the story was previously, with a detached aloof person granted incredible powers, grappling with how he can’t be fully apathetic, whereas the latest chapter reads more like a generic power fantasy, which is a shame. That being said, this is just my opinion and critique, if you like the chapter as is, feel free to keep it that way. I would just suggest look internally, reread the chapter a bit, and consider how it’s going to shape things moving forward, especially with the altered perspective from the MC