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Character Q&A: Phawkes
🕑 Added 2015-09-06 20:14:19 +0000 UTC One of you kind folks had a question for Phawkes this month.Question:
What did you do for a living, before venturing into the delve in pursuit of Beddigan?
Answer:
I’m not entirely certain that I understand your question. Are you implying that I would engage in some sort of menial profession, like a common haberdasher or bank clerk?
I’ll have you know that Phawkeses have been gentlemen of leisure since the birth of the Empire. Why, my storied ancestor, Sir Guiles the Eyesplitter, has passed his hard-won lands and titles down through the generations in an unsullied legacy of honor and cultured recreation to which we, his descendants have only added.
If you are instead making some ham-handed attempt to discover the extent of our family holdings and rents paid by our many tenants, I must direct your inquiries to my seneschal, Master Bungley, who takes appointments at our townhouse in Greater Brokley every second Tuesday of the month. I assure you that I, unlike my father find little joy in the counting of coins. Suffice to say that I have never fallen short in financing any of my expeditions.
Oh, you mean to say that you were inquiring about my expeditions? My apologies then. You must forgive me, I’ve been a bit testy of late, following the expulsion of a rather nasty bezoar which had been troubling me for some time. One must take care never to engage in any sort of habitual grooming while one is stalking prey on the Elemental Plane of Grime… It felt as though I was coughing up a beaver fur hat… I had the beastly thing pickled and placed in jar in my trophy room, next to several other things that have nearly finished me in the past.
Oh, yes… you wished to know what I do when I’m not hunting murderers for the Crown. To put it bluntly, I hunt everything else. I feel a year wasted that I do not travel to at least three different lands and bring back a few heads for my wall. Now bear in mind, I’m not one of those brandy-swilling tourists who hires a local guide to cart them out into the forest to shoot a caged lion… no, there is no thrill in that sort of sport!
The real challenge is to stalk that which can stalk you in return. Ah, the stories I could tell, if we had the time… Unfortunately, I have something of a party to attend. Unlike most parties, however, I’m actually rather anticipating this event.
You see, I’ve never hunted a god before…
