KaizerWolf
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Combat Healer Ch. 63
🕑 Added 2024-07-29 00:54:51 +0000 UTCJuly 28, 2024
NOTE: First of all, this chapter is LIT!
Or at least, I think so. I hope you love it!
This scene turned out so much better than I was even imagining originally!
Second of all, I apologize for the delay on this story. Usually, when I’m writing, I need to have a specific scene that I’m ‘looking forward to,’ in order to help me connect the dots of the plot (ideally, something that is 10 or more chapters away). Without that factor (a scene I am looking forward to, and aiming toward), I can really struggle to write something that is interesting and engaging, which is why I generally won’t try to ‘force it,’ since otherwise I’d be giving you a chapter that is completely uninteresting.
(As an example, the ‘meeting the Queen’ and ‘discovering she was the elf girl from the Dungeon’ was a big scene I was aiming for in Book 1.
In Book 2, it was ‘saving Blake’ and ‘saving princess Erika’ that was a big plot point and scene I was aiming for.
In Book 3, it was finally having ‘princess Erika receive the blessing of the Shackle’ and the scene with the big summoned Guardian, and of course Allister saving the day.
There have definitely been other big scenes that were important to the flow of the plot, such as meeting Wren or saving Lyla from the Blue Oni ‘Lesser Eldritch,’ but those are some of the biggest ones in each book.)
Well anyway, at this point in the story, I needed another ‘exciting scene’ that I was looking forward to, and I ‘think’ I finally have it in mind, so hopefully it will be easier to continue the story from here. (Plotting is like laying out stepping stones that serve as important milestones to the story, and the more of those stepping stones that are ‘exciting,’ the better.)
And that factor makes a big difference!
This very chapter is a hundred times better than it would have been if I’d written it a couple of weeks ago. And the reason why is because ‘looking forward to that scene’ in 10+ chapters is what sort of sparks my creativity into creating amazing chapters like this!
(Or at least, I hope you think it’s amazing, lol.)
Anyway, enjoy!
<< Chapter 62 | Ch 1 (Book 1) | Ch 15 (Book 2) | Ch 29 (Book 3) | Ch 43 (Book 4) | Ch 57 (Book 5)
- CHAPTER 63 -
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FEEDBACK: Thoughts?
1. Do you now understand the seriousness of Mel's situation? (with Grif)
Was it communicated clearly that literally every Oni in existence will know 'who she is' and will know that she 'belongs' to Grif's family? Was it communicated clearly that trying to oppose this would cause big issues, and that if the Queen got involved, it could even cause a 'war between kingdoms,' since the Oni don't truly view themselves as a part of Delanor kingdom? (If this was not clear, then let me know.)
2. Thoughts about the big reveals?
3. What was your 3 most favorite parts of this chapter? (Which parts had you most excited?)
Chapter 64 >>
Comments
Trav
wow. great stuff!
Author Kaizer Wolf
Good catch! It should be 'their laws' - I fixed it!
Carsten
I think something is wrong in the sentence: 'when they’re laws are ignored'
Rhys
Ah, I get it now! Thank you for clarifying that!
Author Kaizer Wolf
The last time that Remi saw Eliza, she was very young. Eliza has physically 'matured' a lot, to the point that even Allister didn't automatically recognize her. So the implication of Remi saying 'mom' is that Eliza looks and sounds extremely similar to her mother (Remi's stepmother). Similar enough that, for a brief moment, Remi thought it was their mom (Remi considers her stepmom as her actual mom, and calls her mom, not her Eldritch mother). Does that make sense?
Rhys
OK, now that I've had time to process, quite the interesting conundrum for Mel, Wren's solution while innovative for certain, does seem to come at a high price? Whats to say that Grif won't just put a price on her head for being a monster? And considering how every Oni will know, wouldn't that be almost as bad if not worse since they would all be competing for bragging rights as to who takes Mel's head? Also, considering the whole "monster in disguise" enemy theme that the Elrich eyes are, isn't becoming a half monster an incredibly risky prospect? I mean, my limited imagination only sees a solution to Mel's problem by overthrowing Grif!! I'm curious to see how this situation resolves itself. Additionally, and this is admittedly very minor, I had a bit of trouble understanding why Remitay shouted out "mother" upon seeing Eliza. But nice tension building with Vildread! I'm guessing at some point he's going to ask the Queen for permission to "teach" the upstart human his place? This chapter was so worth the wait!
Author Kaizer Wolf
Well, they have the same dad, so they would be half-sisters.
The Archer
How it is so much clearer to me. I don't know how I missed seeing that they are stepsister. Greatly appreciate time to explain that.
Author Kaizer Wolf
Actually, I will just add the clarification. How does this sound? >>>> And so I wasn’t mentally prepared to discover that Remitay was Elizatay’s sister. I wasn’t mentally prepared to handle their stories fitting together so perfectly. Eliza lost her family when she was fifteen years old. But Remitay claimed to have disappeared when her little sister was still somewhat young. She went to do the Focus Ritual, to unlock her Focus, and got summoned by her Eldritch mother at that point in time, with her family likely thinking she never came back home on purpose. With her stepmother, Eliza’s biological mother, likely thinking that Remi had disappeared on purpose. After what her father put her through? To pay off his debts? It would be believable that she’d disappear after leaving home. All of which meant, Remi wouldn’t have been around when Eliza’s parents died. And I wasn’t mentally prepared to handle the implications of that fact. My mind was still focused on the threat at hand, and so I reacted without thinking out of an intense desire to ‘cover’ and ‘hide’ this massive unknown secret, so that we could deal with the hidden monster first.
Author Kaizer Wolf
Okay so, my question is -- if I 'wait' to clarify this in a later chapter, would that be fine? Or is it so confusing that I need to insert a snippet to clarify right here? (I don't want people to be confused, so if you personally would have preferred a snippet of explanation here, so that you weren't confused, I can add that.) Anyway though: Remitay said that she disappeared when her sister was still really young. She went to do the Focus Ritual, to unlock her focus, and got summoned by her mother. That means that, when Eliza's family died (her mother and father), Remi had disappeared without explanation. Due to slower methods of communication, it's possible her family didn't even know Remi was missing. Or, perhaps they thought she was intentionally refusing to reach out, after all that she went through to help her father get out of debt. Point is, only Eliza's mother and father were with her at the time, and only they died.
Jonathan Depenau
All hail the Berserker King!
The Archer
Excellent twist. I was a little confused on how Remitay and Elizatay being sister. Would becoming a hybrid cause Mel's weapon to reject?
Author Kaizer Wolf
Wow, thank you for the compliment. I actually really appreciate that.
Moi465
Correct, the reason why I say that is because you spoil the build up to the word that is spoken. By the way though, your writing is excellent. I've been reading another story by a different author and when I went to this CH drop it struck me pretty hard how well you can write.
Author Kaizer Wolf
You don't think the first Valheim needs to be there?
Pedro Comenda
Great job dude. Wasn’t expecting a sucker punch like that. Damn talk about family reunion. As for grif and other like minded Oni. It doesn’t matter what they think. If they are residing within Delenor territory they must obey delenor laws or two outcomes could become pliable. Execution or banishment. I did like wrens idea of turning Mel into a hybrid though. I can’t wait to see what direction you’re going to take this in.
Moi465
The initial valheim needn't be there. 1. Yes. 2. Pretty good big reveals. 3. Finding out that wren could make mel a monster but I'm curious of the implications of that. I like that Marta almost went nuclear. The sister reveal was good to. I was surprised the nobles didn't shut up and also that no one found the body language and weirdness between the Queen and the royal captain as strange, since they were clearly looking for something suspicious. Love this btw, can't wait for the next drop!
Jonathan Depenau
Not necessarily a monster, but perhaps a berserker. I'm thinking he may be forced to act
Author Kaizer Wolf
When you say 'Allie is revealed to all' what do you mean? Like, do you mean the whole monster thing? (Him revealing that he's a monster.) Or do you mean something like Eliza revealing who he is to her? Or maybe something else?
Jonathan Depenau
Holy shit, dude. Wow didn't expect that. Good stuff. It feels like the next chapter could be the one where Allie is revealed to all. Quite the stage set for a grand performance right here by our boy. Also like the idea of monster Mel
Silent Count
1- oof 2- that was a whirlwind of revelations.
