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28 Hesitance
🕑 Added 2024-09-30 18:15:01 +0000 UTCHarry Potter walked into Stark Industries with a determined expression, his mind set on the conversation he needed to have. The bustling energy of the building surrounded him, employees moving with purpose, machines humming softly in the background. He barely noticed any of it, his focus entirely on what lay ahead.
As he strode down the gleaming corridors toward the CEO’s office, his resolve began to waver. Each step felt heavier, as if the very air around him grew denser, making it harder to breathe, harder to think clearly. The thought of discussing their future—a future he wanted so desperately to share with Natasha—was enough to send his heart racing, with a growing sense of anxiety and excitement.
The weight of the engagement rings, though still unfinished and tucked away in his thoughts, pressed on his mind. They were supposed to symbolize his commitment, and his desire to take their relationship to the next level. But what if she wasn’t ready? What if the chaos surrounding them made this conversation ill-timed, or worse, unwanted?
Harry’s footsteps slowed as he approached the office. The confidence that had fueled him earlier now seemed to drain away with each step. His hands grew clammy, his thoughts spiralling into doubts. Was this the right time? Should he wait until the rings were ready until they had a moment of peace?
He clenched his fists, trying to hold on to the determination that had brought him this far. He wanted to talk to her now, to start building their future together. Yet, as he neared the door, his courage faltered. The words he had rehearsed so many times in his head began to blur, replaced by the nagging fear that he might be rushing things, that this conversation could bring more uncertainty into their already complicated lives.
When Harry finally reached Natasha’s cubicle, any shred of resolve he had managed to hold on to had completely crumbled. His heart pounded like it had during his first Quidditch match, and he could feel beads of sweat forming on his forehead. His hands twitched from the overwhelming nervousness, and he took a deep breath, hoping to calm the storm inside him. But it was no use; the breath only seemed to make his throat drier.
He silently berated himself, reminding himself of all the battles he had fought, the dangers he had faced head-on. Asking his girlfriend a simple question about their future shouldn't be the thing that reduced him to a jittery mess. He was Harry Potter, for Merlin’s sake! He had faced down dark wizards, survived deadly tournaments, and even walked into death's embrace—literally. But apparently, none of that mattered when it came to this moment. His Gryffindor courage, which had seen him through the most harrowing of times, had evidently decided to abandon him right when he needed it most.
“Hey,” he managed to croak out, his voice betraying his nervousness. He inwardly winced at how pitiful he sounded, but there was no turning back now. Natasha looked up from her work, her dazzling smile hitting him like a Bludger to the chest.
And just like that, all the nerves he had managed to keep at bay came rushing back with a vengeance. Suddenly, he was that same nervous kid trying to ask out his first crush, his palms sweating, his heart doing acrobatics in his chest. He felt like a teenager again, that same awkward, clumsy boy who had fumbled through asking Cho to the Yule Ball. His mouth went dry, his mind blanking on every word he had rehearsed.
“Uh, so… I was just… you know…” he stammered, his words tripping over each other as Natasha’s amused gaze stayed fixed on him. “I, um… well, it’s just that… uh…”
Natasha tilted her head slightly, clearly entertained by his flustered state, which only made Harry’s nerves worse. He could practically feel the confidence leaking out of him like air from a punctured balloon.
Why was this so hard? He could face down Death Eaters without blinking, but here he was, a stuttering mess in front of his girlfriend. He was almost certain that somewhere, the Sorting Hat was laughing at him.
“Hey, babe, you ready to go?” Natasha asked her voice light and chirpy, effortlessly breaking the tension that Harry had unintentionally built up.
“Go where?” Harry blinked, momentarily thrown off by the question. His mind was still somewhere between the desperate pep talk he’d given himself and the memory of fumbling over his words.
“To New York,” Natasha replied with a playful smirk as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Didn’t Pepper tell you? We’re supposed to head to New York today. Apparently, Justin Hammer’s managed to get his greasy hands on the Iron Man suit that Colonel Rhodes took from Tony on his birthday. He’s showing off his version of the suit today, and he’s been bragging non-stop that it’s going to revolutionize the army’s weaponry. Can you believe that?”
“Oh, really?” Harry responded, his mind completely derailed from the original purpose of his visit. “I, uh, might have missed that. I’ve been, you know, super busy with the, um… APM deal.” He tried to sound convincing, but the hesitation in his voice was painfully obvious. He wasn’t even entirely sure what the APM deal was at this point, but it was the first excuse that popped into his head.
Natasha raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by his floundering. “The APM deal, huh? Must really be intense if it made you forget about a trip to New York.”
“Yeah, totally intense,” Harry nodded, trying to sound nonchalant. Inwardly, he was cursing himself for being so easily sidetracked. All thoughts of proposing had completely evaporated, replaced with a vague, uneasy feeling that he was now somehow obligated to know more about this APM deal than he did.
“That’s alright, you haven’t missed much, really. Just more of Justin Hammer’s incessant bragging,” Natasha began, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Honestly, that man is like a child who found his way into his daddy’s toy box and decided to play army with the biggest, shiniest guns he could find. The way he’s constantly trying to outdo Stark, it’s like watching a bad comedy, except I’m the one who must deal with the punchlines that don’t land.”
She leaned back in her chair, clearly warming up to her rant. “I mean, have you seen the stuff he’s peddling? It’s a miracle any of it even works, let alone functions in a real battle. I swear, half of it looks like it’s held together with duct tape and a prayer. And don’t get me started on his so-called ‘upgrades.’ The last time I had to test one of his ‘revolutionary’ new weapons, it backfired so badly, I thought I’d end up with a permanent limp.”
Natasha chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. “He’s so desperate to prove he’s better than Stark, it’s almost sad. He spends more time talking about how he’s going to revolutionize the weapons industry than making anything that works. I once saw one of his military drones attempt a 360-degree spin and crash into the ground. If it wasn’t so dangerous, it would’ve been hilarious.”
She leaned forward, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “And the worst part? He believes he’s winning. He struts around like he’s a genius, but everyone knows he’s cobbling together whatever scraps he can find. It’s like watching a toddler try to outshine a professional dancer—cute, maybe, but mostly embarrassing.”
Natasha smirked, glancing at Harry. “Honestly, if you ever need a good laugh, just look at Hammer’s product line. It’s like a greatest hits album of failure. I wouldn’t trust one of his gadgets to open a can of beans, let alone protect anyone in a fight. The man might as well be selling overpriced paperweights.”
As Natasha continued her animated rant about Hammer Industries and their poorly designed products, Harry found himself lost in thought, his gaze lingering on her as she spoke. There was something so endearing about the way she could shift from the world’s most dangerous spy to a woman passionately complaining about subpar weaponry. It was in these moments, where her guard was down, that Harry saw the true Natasha—the woman he had fallen deeply in love with.
He loved the way she could be so fiercely protective yet so tender with him, the way she could make him laugh even when the world seemed heavy. Her humour was sharp and often laced with a mischievous edge, and he adored how she could turn even the most mundane situations into something that made his heart lighter.
But it was more than just her humour or her intelligence. It was the way she cared for him in the little things—like getting him lunch when he’d forgotten about it, or the way she’d quietly stay up with him on nights when his nightmares returned, her presence a soothing balm to his troubled mind. She was the one person who made him feel truly safe as if he had finally found someone who understood him in a way no one else ever had.
He thought about the memories they’d created together—the late-night talks under the stars, the playful banter that never seemed to grow old, the way she’d look at him when she thought he wasn’t watching, her eyes filled with a softness that spoke of emotions neither of them could easily put into words. He loved how she challenged him, pushed him to be better, and how, despite her tough exterior, she had opened up to him in ways he knew she hadn’t with anyone else.
Watching her now, her eyes bright as she mockingly dissected every flaw in Hammer’s designs, Harry felt a surge of affection so strong it almost took his breath away. She was more than just his girlfriend—she was his partner, his confidant, the person who made him feel whole in a world that often felt fractured.
Natasha might be a trained assassin, a woman who had faced more danger than most people could imagine, but to Harry, she was the person who had brought light back into his life, who had shown him that love didn’t have to be a battlefield. With her, he had found something he hadn’t even realized he was looking for—a future, filled with hope, laughter, and the promise of a life well-lived together.
As she continued her rant, Harry’s heart swelled with the realization of just how much he loved her, and how desperately he wanted to ask her to spend the rest of her life with him. But for now, he just watched, letting the warmth of his feelings settle over him like a comforting blanket, knowing that when the time was right, he would find the courage to say the words that were already on the tip of his tongue.
“So, when are we leaving for New York?” Harry asked, trying to regain his composure after Natasha’s lighthearted rant.
“In a few hours,” Natasha replied with a casual shrug. “I figured you might have forgotten, so I packed a suitcase with your stuff too. It’s already in the car with mine.”
Harry’s heart warmed at her words, a smile spreading across his face. “Thanks,” he said softly, his voice filled with affection.
As Harry and Natasha stood together, Happy Hogan sauntered over, his usual jovial grin plastered on his face. But the moment he spotted Harry beside Natasha, that grin vanished quicker than a popped balloon. Harry couldn’t help but notice Happy’s sudden shift in demeanour—the way he straightened his posture, smoothed down his suit jacket, and hastily began pretending to inspect a nearby piece of equipment as if he had been on a critical mission all along.
Natasha, ever observant, caught the entire performance and let out a soft chuckle. “You gonna do the whole jealous boyfriend act with him?” she teased, nodding in Happy’s direction.
Harry shook his head with a smile. “Nah, I’ll save it for someone who actually has a chance,” he joked, glancing at Happy, who was now intensely focused on a coffee machine that had been working perfectly fine all morning. “Besides, he can be a bit of a creep sometimes, but his heart’s in the right place.”
Natasha grinned, leaning in just slightly. “Well, it’s a good thing I’ve got my very own Harry Potter to keep the creeps at bay.”
Harry smirked, casting a quick look at Happy, who was now fumbling with a stack of papers like they were the most important documents in the world. “Looks like he’s keeping himself occupied now.”
They both shared a quiet laugh, the moment lightening the mood, leaving Happy to his thoroughly engrossing—and completely fabricated—tasks.
"Happy." Harry called out. "What are you doing over there, aren't we going to New York soon? Did you get Pepper's stuff yet?"
Happy looked around a bit comedically trying to show that he was busy with something. " Oh Harry, what are you doing here? I was just looking for some documentary that Pepper asked me to pack." Happy lied. Happy proceeded to give an unsuspecting intern some work to get the required documents to prove his point. Harry and Natasha could see what Happy was doing. “Oh, and the flight’s ready to leave in half an hour.” Happy informed.
Once everything was settled and ready to go, Harry, Natasha, and Happy made their way to Pepper’s office. As they walked, Harry couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed to broach the subject that had been weighing on his mind all day. With Happy just out of earshot, Harry leaned closer to Natasha, his voice dropping to a soft whisper.
“Hey,” he began, trying to keep his tone casual. “Once all of this is over—Tony getting better, Pepper settling into her new role—how about you and I take some time for ourselves? Just the two of us. No spy missions, no Stark Industries drama. I’m thinking of somewhere nice, like a beach in the Caribbean. Tony mentioned he could rent us an island for a week or two. Or maybe we could go sailing on a yacht, just you and me.”
Natasha looked at him, her expression softening as she listened to his words. The idea of getting away from it all, even for a little while, was incredibly tempting. She gave Harry a sad, but tender smile. “That sounds perfect,” she replied. “I’d love to have some time alone with you. But maybe let’s keep it to just a few days. I must rejoin S.H.I.E.L.D. soon—I’ve been away from the field for too long now. No offence, but I’m not cut out for the daily nine-to-five grind.”
Harry chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling with affection. He knew she was right—Natasha usual job entailed a lot more adrenalin than that of a regular nine-to-five job. “I wouldn’t dream of keeping you away from what you love,” he said, reaching out to gently squeeze her hand. “But those few days, they’ll be ours. Just us, no distractions.”
Natasha squeezed his hand back, her heart warming at his words. “I’m looking forward to it,” she whispered, her voice filled with sincerity.
When Harry, Natasha, and Happy entered Pepper’s office, they were surprised to find Tony already there, looking very apologetic while Pepper looked distinctly irritated.
“Ms. Potts,” Natasha called out, drawing both Tony and Pepper’s attention. “Wheels up in 25 minutes,” she informed them with her usual efficiency.
“Thank you, Natalie,” Pepper replied curtly, her voice clipped as she returned to packing up her things.
“Anything else, boss?” Happy asked, glancing between Tony and Pepper.
“I’m good, Hap…” Tony replied his tone light but with an undercurrent of awkwardness. He however was cut out by Pepper.
“No, I’ll be just another minute,” Pepper added, clearly trying to maintain her composure despite Tony’s uninvited presence.
Tony attempted to lighten the mood with a quip, “I lost both the kids in the divorce.” He glanced over at Happy, who shook his head slightly, while Harry struggled to stifle a laugh at Tony’s awkward attempt at humour.
Then, Tony turned his attention to Natasha. “Are you blending in well here, Natalie? Stark Enterprises treating you alright? Your name is Natalie, isn’t it?” he asked, his tone laced with insinuation, but he hesitated just enough to make it clear he was holding something back.
Pepper, clearly at the end of her patience, interjected, “Actually, Tony, since you’re here, maybe you and Natalie could discuss the matter of personal belongings?” Her tone was pointed as she continued packing her things, clearly eager to get out of the office.
Tony waved off the suggestion. “No thanks, I’m good. But I do need to talk with Harry for a bit. Can you guys give us some guy time? Thanks,” he added dismissively.
Pepper rolled her eyes, her irritation barely concealed. “We’re leaving in 25 minutes. Keep it short, Harry.”
Harry, sensing the tension but unable to resist, quipped, “I thought we were going in the private jet. Doesn’t it kind of defeat the purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?” His comment drew a quiet laugh from Tony, who was trying his hardest to control his laugh and look serious.
Pepper, however, was not amused. She fixed Harry with a withering glare. “I have a very busy schedule, Harry. If you’re not there when we’re ready to leave, then you can take a commercial flight to New York,” she snapped, before briskly shutting the door behind her, leaving no room for further discussion.
“Yikes,” Harry commented, wincing as Pepper's office door clicked shut behind her. He turned to Tony with a raised eyebrow. “What did you even do this time?”
Tony sighed and shifted his weight uncomfortably. Harry's eyes fell on the small container of strawberries Tony had brought as a peace offering, and he couldn’t help but shake his head. He walked over to Tony, placing both hands firmly on his shoulders, and stared straight into his eyes with a mix of amusement and exasperation. Tony, clearly feeling awkward under the intense gaze, looked away.
“You know, Tony,” Harry began, his tone a blend of teasing and genuine concern, “you’re going to make a very bad boyfriend if you keep this up. I mean, can you even function properly without JARVIS at your beck and call?”
Tony grimaced. “I know I screwed up, alright? But I remembered there was a connection between Pepper and strawberries. That’s why I got them.”
Harry let out a long-suffering sigh. “You knew there was a connection,” he repeated, scepticism evident in his voice, “or was that the only thing you could grab on your way from the house to the office?”
Tony tried to keep a straight face but eventually gave Harry a sheepish grin. “Alright, alright, maybe it was a bit of a last-minute decision. But hey, this is still progress, right?” he said, attempting to defend himself.
“Speaking of progress,” Harry interjected, shifting the conversation back to the matter at hand. “Have you made any headway with the palladium core in the arc reactor? Director Fury mentioned he could help you out.”
Tony raised an eyebrow, surprised by the mention of Fury. “You know Fury?” he asked, his voice tinged with curiosity.
“Yeah,” Harry replied, leaning back slightly. “You know I was in the army, right? Phil Coulson and Director Fury tried to recruit me when I first came to the States after I left the service. I’ve been in touch with them ever since. Phil’s a regular at Lily’s; he joins Pepper and me for coffee or breakfast whenever he’s in town. Underratedly fun guy, if you ask me.”
Tony snorted at the mention of Coulson. “Fun? Yeah, that’s one way to put it. Did you know he tased me just for the hell of it? Recorded the whole thing while I was drooling onto the carpet. Said he wanted to give me a ‘demonstration’ of what it would feel like if I acted out of line. So not called for.”
Harry burst out laughing, unable to suppress his amusement at the mental image. “Seriously? He tased you?” Harry shook his head, still chuckling. “I’m not sure whether to feel bad for you or applaud him. Knowing you, I’m guessing you probably deserved it.”
Tony huffed, crossing his arms in mock indignation. “Deserved it? I was minding my own business! Well, sort of. But still, it was totally uncalled for. The man’s got a twisted sense of humour.”
“Sounds like Phil, alright,” Harry said, still grinning. “But I get it. You’ve been a bit of a headache since you got back from Afghanistan. I’m sure he found it cathartic. Can’t say I blame him.”
Tony rolled his eyes but couldn’t help smirking at Harry’s candid assessment. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. But seriously, what’s the deal with Fury? I didn’t know you were that tight with him.”
Harry shrugged. “It’s more of a mutual respect thing. Fury’s got his own agenda, but he’s a good guy at heart. He just hasn’t given up on recruiting me for his agency I guess. Plus he gets a safe place to hang out at my café whenever he needs some quiet time. But enough about that—what’s going on with the reactor? Are you any closer to finding a solution?”
“I’ve been going through my dad’s old notes,” Tony explained, his voice tinged with frustration. “It’s like the answer’s right there, just out of reach, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s maddening.”
Harry nodded, understanding the weight Tony was carrying. “You know, if I had to bet on anyone to crack this, I’d go all in on you. No hesitation. You’ve pulled off the impossible before, and I believe in you, Tony. You’ll figure this out.”
Tony glanced at Harry, the seriousness of his friend’s words cutting through the haze of doubt that had been clouding his mind. A small, grateful smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Thanks, Harry,” Tony said, his voice softer, more genuine. “That actually means a lot.”
Harry returned the smile, giving Tony a reassuring nod. “You’ve got this,” he added, the confidence in his tone unwavering. With that, Harry turned to leave the office, feeling that he had said what he needed to.
But just as he reached the door, Tony’s voice stopped him. “Wait, Harry.”
Harry paused, turning back to face Tony. There was a look of something unspoken in Tony’s eyes as if there was more he wanted to say but was struggling to find the words.
“What’s up?” Harry asked, sensing there was something more on Tony’s mind.
“Harry, there’s something I need to say about… about Natalie,” Tony began, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant, almost as if he were second-guessing himself.
Harry raised an eyebrow, a hint of confusion in his expression. “What about Natalie?”
Tony shifted uncomfortably, clearly struggling to find the right words. “Do you… do you know what she really does for a living?”
Harry couldn’t help but chuckle, the seriousness in Tony’s tone not quite registering. “Of course I do. Why? You sound like you’re about to tell me she’s a secret agent or something,” he joked.
Tony didn’t return the smile. Instead, he looked at Harry with an intensity that caught Harry off guard. “I mean her actual, actual job,” Tony continued, his voice dropping as if he were sharing a well-guarded secret.
Harry’s amusement began to waver. “What are you getting at, Tony?”
Tony took a deep breath as if bracing himself for what he was about to say. “She’s lying to you,” he blurted out, the words tumbling out in a rush. “She’s not who you think she is, Harry. And… I don’t think she’s the right person for you. You’d be better off leaving her, finding someone else. You shouldn’t be involved with someone like her.”
For a moment, there was silence. Then, Harry burst into laughter, shaking his head. “Tony, you’re seriously overthinking this. I know exactly who Natalie is, and I trust her completely. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Tony,” Harry started, his voice carrying a mix of firmness and vulnerability, “I’m about to ask her to marry me. I know that she’s the one for me. The only one.”
Tony hesitated; concern etched in his features. “I think that would be a big mistake, Harry. She’s going to break your heart. It’s better if you leave her before she hurts you.”
Harry’s eyes softened, but his resolve remained unshaken. “She’s not going to hurt me, Tony. She’s the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
Tony opened his mouth to argue, but Harry continued, his tone deepening with emotion. “I get why you’re worried, but you don’t know her like I do. I’ve seen the sides of her that she doesn’t show to anyone else. I’ve seen her strong and independent, but I’ve also seen her vulnerable, scared, and completely raw. She let me in, Tony. She let me see the real her.”
Harry’s thoughts drifted back to the first time he met her, a small smile playing on his lips. “When I first met her, I knew she was trouble. There was this aura around her—charisma, mystery, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But instead of pushing me away, it drew me in. I was curious, and intrigued. I wanted to understand her, to unravel the layers that made her who she was.”
He paused, his gaze distant as he recalled those early days. “But it wasn’t just the mystery that hooked me, Tony. It was the little things. The way she’d catch my eye across a crowded room and smile, like she knew exactly what I was thinking. The way she’d challenge me, and push me to be better, but always with a light in her eyes that told me she believed in me. And then there were the quiet moments when it was just the two of us. No masks, no walls—just us.”
Harry’s voice softened as he continued, “There was this one night, not long after we first got together. She’d had a rough day—things from her past creeping up on her, weighing her down. She didn’t say much, but I could see it in her eyes. So, we just sat there, on the couch, not saying a word. She leaned into me, and I held her, just held her. That night, she didn’t need to be strong, or tough, or anything other than herself. She let me see that side of her, Tony. She trusted me with that part of her, and that’s when I knew—really knew—that she was the one.”
Tony listened, his expression softening as Harry spoke. He could see the depth of his friend’s feelings, but the worry in his heart remained.
Harry continued, his voice growing more impassioned. “I won’t lie; there were times when I doubted if this would work. When we first got together, she disappeared for a few months, I thought she was gone for good. I felt like I’d lost something precious, something I didn’t even realize I needed so badly until it was gone. She didn’t tell me where she was going or what she was doing. I was devastated, Tony. I thought I had lost her for good, that she had abandoned me. I didn’t know what to do, or how to move on. But she came back, Tony. She came back because she wanted to be with me. She told me that she needed to let go of her past; to sort out her life so she could have a future with me. She did that for me—for us.”
Harry’s eyes were shining now, filled with an unmistakable love. “I’ve never met anyone like her, Tony. She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever known. She makes me laugh, challenges me, and supports me in ways I never thought I needed. She’s not just someone I love; she’s someone I respect; someone I want to build a life with. She’s shown me sides of herself that no one else has seen, and in turn, I’ve shared parts of myself with her that I’ve never shared with anyone else.”
Harry’s voice trembled slightly with emotion as he added, “She’s made sacrifices, Tony. She’s left behind everything she’s ever known, everything she’s ever been, just to be with me. She chose me, and I choose her—every day, I choose her. I don’t just want to be with her; I want to grow old with her. I want to wake up next to her every morning for the rest of my life. I know what we have is real, and I’m not going to let anything come between us.”
Tony saw the determination in Harry’s eyes, the unwavering belief in what they had. It was clear to him that his friend was deeply, irrevocably in love. But that didn’t ease the knot of worry in Tony’s stomach. Harry’s smile was bright, full of hope and love—a stark contrast to the doubt lurking in Tony’s mind. As much as Tony wanted to believe in what Harry was saying, a part of him couldn’t shake the feeling that things wouldn’t end the way his friend hoped.
But for now, Tony forced a smile and nodded, silently vowing to be there for Harry when things inevitably fell apart.
Comments
Childishdavebino
“He’s a good guy at heart” he said about Fury as just a chapter ago and threatened to blackmail him. Author, I’m not trying to be that dude that comments on all your chapters with a critique but come on man. Mutual respect?
Fraül
Yes, and I hate reading angst. I'm so done with it. Always avoid AO3 tags with angst lol
Ryan
Burned through this whole thing quickly today - the angst is off the charts - hope that gets resolved soon
