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43 Heart Break
🕑 Added 2024-11-22 18:15:02 +0000 UTCThe Rustic Heart was bustling with energy and joy. The sounds of music, laughter, and lively chatter spilt out into the streets, creating a vibrant atmosphere that could be heard from a mile away. For anyone visiting Hereford, the Rustic Heart was the embodiment of the town's spirit, a warm and welcoming pub nestled at the end of the commercial district.
Tonight, the pub was particularly animated, its rustic wooden beams and cosy interiors glowing under the soft, warm lights. The open mic night, a weekly event, had drawn in a crowd eager to simply enjoy the performances. The clinking of glasses, the hum of conversation, and the occasional burst of applause filled the air, creating a symphony of happiness that resonated throughout the space. Bright decorations adorned the walls, and the stage was set with an array of instruments, inviting musicians and poets alike to take their turn in the spotlight.
“Thank you, Mrs Turner, for your amazing rendition of “Wish You Were Here” the host for the night, a charming middle-aged blonde woman, announced with a playful smile as the latest performer staggered off the stage. Her words were met with a raucous roar of laughter from the crowd.
“One more song” shouted a patron from the front row. The comment was met with even louder laughter and agreement from the audience.
It might have sounded desperate to an outsider, but this was the essence of the open mic sessions at the Rustic Heart. It wasn’t about perfect performances or professional singing; it was about the community, the bravery of stepping into the spotlight, and the sheer joy of participating in the community's cherished tradition. The patrons cheered and jested, their laughter and applause creating an atmosphere of infectious joy. Friends clinked glasses, families leaned into one another, and strangers became friends in the shared experience of watching the night's entertainment unfold.
The open mic night was a celebration of imperfection, where liquid courage fueled bold attempts at stardom and where every misstep was met with encouragement rather than criticism. The Rustic Heart was a place where the pressure of daily life melted away, replaced by a sense of unity and unrestrained fun.
“Alright, next up, we have our very own Natalie Rushman, who will be performing ‘I will be' by Avril Lavigne!” The announcement elicited a cheer of approval from the audience, their applause and whistles filling the air.
Natasha was leaning against the bar, absentmindedly wiping down the countertop with a cloth, her thoughts drifting as they often did. The Rustic Hearth had become a second home for her, a sanctuary away from the endless missions and chaos of her life as a spy. Ever since Harry left, this was where she came after each mission was complete—pouring drinks, engaging with the regulars, and immersing herself in the hum of casual conversation. It wasn’t her world, not really, but it was the closest thing to peace she had found.
This was her safe place. It was a place where the weight of her guilt and longing felt lighter. Every time she stepped through the door, a tiny part of her hoped—wished—that maybe, just maybe, Harry would be there, waiting for her. She missed him desperately. And with every passing day, the realization that she had screwed up grew more unbearable.
The Richards had been nothing but kind, welcoming her as though she was one of their own. It made the waiting easier, being surrounded by people who cared. But deep down, she knew she was only holding onto the hope that when Harry returned, this would be one of the first places he'd come. And when he did, she'd be here, waiting.
"Natalie!" the host called from the small stage, her voice cutting through the noise of the pub. "Everyone give a warm round of applause for our very own Natalie Rushman!"
The crowd erupted in cheers, and Natasha forced a small smile as she stepped out from behind the bar. The warmth from the patrons was genuine—she had become a part of this little community, despite how out of place she sometimes felt. They loved her here, in their own way, and for a brief moment, she could almost forget about everything else.
Natasha approached the small stage where the band waited. She nodded to the musicians, giving them instructions for the song she had chosen for tonight. The lyrics echoed what she had wanted to say to Harry for so long.
Sitting in front of the piano, she took a deep breath and let her fingers hover over the keys. The first few notes echoed through the pub, soft and melancholic, pulling the attention of the crowd. But Natasha’s thoughts were elsewhere, miles away, with the man who should be hearing this song. She closed her eyes, her voice trembling with emotion as she began to sing, each line carrying the weight of everything she wished she could tell him—everything she had kept buried inside for too long.
As her voice filled the room, Natasha’s heart poured into the melody, hoping that somehow, wherever Harry was, he could feel what she was feeling now.
There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me...
As Natasha sang the opening lines, her chest tightened. Harry had come into her life when she had least expected it, offering her something she hadn’t realized she needed—belonging, love, and purpose. He had given her a glimpse of a life she never thought she deserved. The words hung heavy in the air, each note carrying the weight of her regret and longing. She would be forever grateful for him, for showing her what it felt like to be loved, to belong.
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye, and now I know
How far you'd go...
When they first met, Harry had never pried into her past, respecting her space in a way no one else had. He let her heal at her own pace and allowed her to open up in her own time. When she went to Budapest, a mission that she thought she might not come back alive, he waited. And when she returned, no questions were asked. He accepted her, scars and all. Her voice cracked slightly, remembering his patience and his unwavering kindness.
I know I let you down
She winced as the line passed her lips. The breakup—it had been a mistake, the biggest of her life. She knew it the second she walked away.
But it's not like that now...
Before she could fix things, before she could make it right, he had been taken. Whisked away by Thor to the unreachable lands of Asgard, out of her grasp. And every day since, the ache of his absence grew heavier.
This time I'll never let you go...
If he came back—no, when he came back—she would do whatever it took to win him back, to make things right. She wouldn’t let him slip away again.
I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart...
She had been her own worst enemy. Laura, Clint, and even the Richards had all told her that Harry would have accepted her flaws, that he loved her despite them. It was her own insecurity that had sabotaged them. But no more. She was ready to be everything Harry needed.
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay...
As the chorus echoed in the room, Natasha’s thoughts circled around their time together. Harry had wanted forever, and now she wanted that too. He was her light in the darkness, her steady anchor. The pain in her chest twisted as she realized just how much she had taken that for granted. He had always been there for her, and now, she needed to be there for him.
The drums rolled, and the band joined in, amplifying the emotion in her voice.
I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly...
When she was with him, life seemed complete. It felt like she finally had everything she ever wanted. But now that he was gone, she understood the depth of what she had lost. The emptiness in her heart was unbearable like a piece of her was missing.
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside...
Out of all the mistakes she had made in her life, letting Harry into her heart had been the one thing she had gotten right. The night she had shown up at his home, soaked in rain and blood, was the beginning of everything. And now, without him, she could barely breathe. The thought of life without him felt like suffocation.
And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
'Cause I will never let you go...
The guilt gnawed at her. She had let him down, but she swore she would never make that mistake again. She would be better, stronger, more honest. If he gave her another chance, she would never hurt him again.
I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart...
Harry had kept her grounded, reminded her that she was human, not just an assassin or spy. With him, she wasn’t just the Black Widow—she was Natasha, someone who could feel and love. Without him, she felt hollow, a machine going through the motions. She needed him to remind her of who she really was.
'Cause without you, I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave...
The nights had been the hardest. Without his warmth beside her, sleep eluded her. Every dream was haunted by his absence, and the bed felt impossibly cold. She missed his touch, his embrace, the way he made her feel safe.
You're all I've got, you're all I want, yeah...
He was her family, her future. The one person who had broken through her walls and made her believe in something beyond the life she had always known.
And without you, I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see?
You're all I need...
Her voice wavered as she sang the final lines. Without him, her world didn’t make sense anymore. She wasn’t sure how she had even functioned all this time without him, but one thing was clear—her life would never feel whole again without Harry. She needed him back, more than she had ever needed anything.
As Natasha neared the end of the song, her eyes locked onto Harry, standing in the doorway, staring at her. Her breath hitched, and for a moment, the world around her faded.
I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart...
With every ounce of emotion she had left, she poured her heart into the final chorus, hoping, praying that he could feel the depth of her regret, her love.
As the last note of Natasha’s song faded, she barely registered the thunderous applause and cheers from the crowd. Her heart pounded, not from the performance, but from the sight of Harry—standing there, watching her. For the first time since they had parted, he was right in front of her. Without thinking, she bolted from the stage, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts but focused on one thing: reaching him.
She pushed through the pub's crowd, their cheers for her performance blending into the background noise. None of it mattered. Nothing mattered but him. Whether he was real or a figment of her imagination didn’t concern her—she had to take the chance, had to feel his presence, had to see if this moment was truly happening.
Bursting through the door, she called out his name, her voice desperate and full of emotion. And there he was, standing just outside, his back to her. Without hesitation, Natasha threw herself into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his frame. She buried her face into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent, feeling the warmth of his body against hers. For a fleeting moment, everything felt right again. She could breathe. The world seemed to slow, and the chaos that had gripped her heart for so long faded.
But something was wrong.
She waited for his arms to encircle her, for his warmth to wrap around her like it always had. But that embrace never came. Slowly, dread started to creep in as she looked up, her gaze meeting his. Instead of the soft smile she longed for, she found only a cold, distant expression. His eyes were unreadable, his lips pressed into a hard line.
Her breath hitched, and the reality of the moment began to sink in. His arms stayed stiff at his sides, not returning her embrace. The warmth she craved wasn’t there. She felt his hands rise, not to hold her, but to gently, push her away.
“Babe,” Natasha whispered, her voice breaking with the weight of her emotions.
“No.” Harry’s voice was firm, and sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. “You don’t get to say ‘babe’ and expect everything to be fine. You don’t get to act like nothing happened. You don’t get to have me back after you shattered my heart into a million pieces.”
“I know I messed up. I know it’s my fault. I’m so sorry for everything I made you feel. Please, Harry, forgive me,” Natasha pleaded, her voice trembling with desperation.
Harry’s eyes burned with a fury she hadn’t seen before. “Do you even know what it felt like when you told me we should go our separate ways? That it was for my good? That I’d be better off without you, that I should find someone else, live a happy life, and fulfill my dreams—right when I was about to ask you to marry me?” His voice cracked with anguish, and he shook his head. “Do you have any idea how it felt to have my entire world ripped apart in that moment?”
Natasha felt a sharp sting in her chest, her breath catching. “You waited for me when I disappeared to Budapest without a word of where I was or what I was doing. You took me back, no questions asked. You accepted me for who I was then. Why can’t you accept me back now?” Her voice wavered, her eyes wide with tears, her heart clinging to that hope.
“You think I wasn’t angry then?” Harry's eyes flashed with a raw intensity, his jaw clenched. “I was furious. So angry that I felt like I could destroy the world. Destroy you. I wanted to burn everything that had taken you away from me. But I held it back. Because I wanted to believe in you. I knew you hadn’t fully trusted me yet, and if I pushed too hard, I’d lose you for good. So I waited. I gave you space to let me in at your own pace.”
His voice grew louder, his emotions boiling over. “But this... this was different. This wasn’t hesitation. You knew me. You knew my dreams, my fears, everything I’d gone through. And still, you decided that leaving was the right choice. Not because we weren’t compatible, but because you thought you couldn’t give me the life I wanted.” His voice cracked with heartbreak. “Did our bond mean nothing to you? Did I mean nothing? Do you think I’m so shallow that I would hate or resent you because you can’t have children, or because you couldn’t give me my so-called perfect family?”
Natasha’s sobs broke free, her chest heaving as she cried. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, barely able to get the words out. “I’m so sorry, Harry. I’ll beg for your forgiveness a thousand times if I have to. Just please… please take me back.”
Harry’s face was unreadable as silence fell between them, heavy and suffocating. Natasha’s heart sank with each passing second.
“Will you ever accept my apology?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, her body trembling under the weight of her own guilt.
Harry’s eyes softened just slightly, but his words were unwavering. “Only when it comes from your heart,” he said quietly, pointing to her chest, where her heartbeat beneath her hand.
After that, Harry turned his back on her. His expression was unreadable, but the tension in his shoulders spoke of finality. Without another word, he took a single step away, and with a loud pop, he apparated, vanishing into the night.
The pop felt as if judgment had been passed for her. Natasha stood frozen, her outstretched hand still grasping at empty air, her chest heaving as though she’d forgotten how to breathe. The world around her seemed to blur, the sounds of the bustling pub reduced to a distant hum. She could still feel the faint warmth of his presence, but it faded with each passing second, leaving only a hollow, cold void in its wake.
Something had shattered inside her in that moment—something fragile but essential. It wasn’t just her heart; it was deeper than that. It was as though the last bit of hope she’d clung to, the belief that maybe, just maybe, she could fix things, had crumbled to dust before her eyes. She had lost him. Truly lost him.
A wave of self-loathing crashed over her. She had done this. Her actions, her fear, her inability to face her own insecurities had driven him away. She had destroyed the one person who had loved her unconditionally, and now… now she hated herself for it. For the first time in her life, Natasha Romanoff, who had been through so much, who had survived the worst the world could throw at her, felt utterly and completely broken.
Her knees threatened to give way, but she forced herself to stand, refusing to let the weakness show even in the privacy of the darkened street. But inside, everything had shattered, and she knew that no matter how hard she tried to put the pieces back together, she would never see herself the same again.
