Tsaimath
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DLM, Bk 4 - Ch 9
🕑 Added 2019-09-27 22:14:07 +0000 UTC
It was strange how fast things can change in your mind. It had not been more than about forty hours that Galatea had awoken me with the news about Sophia’s kidnapping, but in those forty hours, I had worn my Powered clothes almost exclusively and now that I went back to civilian dress, it felt a little strange. But I knew it was more than just the clothes, now with changing back into my old clothes, I realised that. I had pushed it away from me, focusing on different things, mainly Sophia, but I had to confront the reality that I was a murderer, no matter how you wanted to frame it. Those I had killed during the raid, those one might argue away by likening my actions to those of a police-sniper, working to keep his squad-mates safe. But what I had done with Clark, that was beyond what could be argued away and despite that, I had yet to feel any guilt, only a grim satisfaction that the one who had tried to kill me and hurt Sophia would not be able to do so again.
I spent the way back to my workshop almost in a trance, wondering just what I had become and what I would become in the future.
“Calm down, mother. We both know that you only did what you considered necessary. You didn’t go out to punish Clark, at least not primarily. You went out to make sure that his deeds, the kidnapping of Sophia and the subsequent torture, wouldn’t cause greater harm in the future. If it had only been about punishing him, about harming him, why didn’t you go out, right after he attacked you.?” Galatea broke into my ruminations, sounding worried.
I gave a mental grunt in acknowledgement, not quite sure what to say.
“If you are worried what you might do if Sophia gets hurt again, do you want me to object or maybe even limit you?” Galatea continued, making me smile a little. If anyone who did not know Galatea could hear our exchange, I had no doubt that they would be bewildered. Here, I was, the human, the supposedly moral being, having the cold, emotionless artificial being offer to be my moral compass. Of course, Galatea was not emotionless and she was only cold if I turned the cooling up too far but still, according to science fiction, the AIs would wipe out the humans for varied reasons.
Galatea laughed about my ridiculous thoughts but was quite happy that I was coming out of the funk I had been in and even happier when I wordlessly asked her to look out for me in the future.
“You should consider Isleen’s suggestion.” Galatea added after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“You mean talk to her? I think that is a profoundly bad idea. Intellectually, I even think that her dual relationship with Sophia is problematic, maybe even unprofessional, with her strange dual role of therapist and sort-of adopted mother. I can understand why Sophia would be drawn to a stable mother figure, especially with how she had been before we split, but I am not sure if it was a good idea. Sophia seems a lot better so maybe it was for the best.” I rejected the idea.
“Not with her necessarily. But, despite all your smarts, you are only eighteen and were forced to kill multiple people. And that is in addition to the trust issues caused by your upbringing.” Galatea continued.
“You mean my wonderfully trusting nature?” I laughed, acknowledging that I knew about the issue, that I did not trust anyone but her, who had loyalty to me literally written into the inmutable core of her being.
“Among other things, yes.” Galatea sounded amused.
“And where do I find a psychiatrist who would not either call the cops or run screaming to the hills? If I talk about my issues, you and our connection will inevitably come up. I would need a psychiatrist whom I trust, before working with them on my trust-issues.” I retorted, now laughing internally. It was either that, or I would start crying.
“I see the dilemma. We could ask Technica who the Guild uses, I have no doubt that they have someone on staff. And before you talk to them, we can dive into their background and find out everything, that way you hopefully will be more relaxed.” Galatea suggested, while giving me the mental equivalent of a hug.
“I could always talk to you.” I suggested, not too happy about the idea to let a stranger see into the depths of my mind.
“We can talk, yes, but you know that my perspective is almost identical to yours, as a result of being nurtured by you. We need a different perspective to make sense of things.” I mentally hugged her back, knowing that she was right.
My melancholy was interrupted by the train coming to a stop at the station near my workshop, so I disembarked. After getting a coffee, I went into my workshop and sat at the desk, trying to figure out how to charge myself. Galatea had the simplest solution, using the nanites to form a plug that I could connect to my energy-storage unit. It was a little strange, literally plugging myself into what could amount to a wall-socket, but i had a feeling that such would become the norm for me.
Sitting there, I started to consider things, especially concerning my new, partially artificial state. Before the problems with Sophia, I had considered embedding a secure capsule within my lower body, where Clark’s attack had crushed some inner organs, allowing me to place some nanites into a vault, so to speak, hopefully allowing them to restore function to my body if I ever got hit with a powerful enough EMP. In addition to that, it would allow Galatea to survive such an attack, even if she would likely be reduced to her very core, until she could use a back-up.
But that was only one part, another thing I would have to consider was that now, I would never be able to pretend to be a normal human, at least not without a large amount of effort and using only a single arm. With that in mind, it might be a good idea to use the nanites I already had in my body to improve the rest of it. Using them to place a mesh of thin carbon fiber under my skin came to mind, or maybe use them to lace metal around my bones. Those ideas I had previously discarded as impractical or impossible, they might just be quite possible using my changed state.
With Galatea’s help, I created a drafting area in our shared mental space, essentially using GAD, Galatea Aided Design, allowing me to work directly in my mind. Together, we could quickly come up a few measures that should increase my survivability by quite a bit. The next thing I considered were the world’s reaction on the events of the last two days, so I looked into a variety of media to find out what was said.
Sophia’s kidnapping was front-page news, but only for a very limited selection of outlets. They never mentioned her name, not that it would be difficult to find out, only relating that a female student had been taken and the police was investigating, with most of them adding an update that law-enforcement had found the victim who was now recovering from the ordeal. Essentially, the story was important, but only to those who had family studying there.
Clark’s death or assassination, depending on the outlet, was on the front pages as well and even international outlets reported on it. After all, he was not only the heir of a substantial family fortune, he was also the assistant of the current Heroes’ League Leader, a rather important position hinting that he was groomed to take over the lead-position at a later date. Combining those things with the fact that nobody believed his death to be an accident and articles were a dime a million. The articles ranged from simple reports on the facts, to so-called investigative reporting, to pure opinion-pieces. Some even used his violent death to suggest better controls for firearms, making me giggle just a little. For all my dislike for Clark, I had to acknowledge that he had been quite powerful and durable, there was no way that anything less than a military-grade sniper-rifle with armour-piercing rounds would have hurt him with anything but an incredibly lucky shot.
A couple of articles caught my eyes, suggesting Metis to be responsible, so I looked into the publications, realising that they had taken my name in vain all year, blaming me for tons of incidents, likely to make me seem like some sort of bogeyman and undermine my credibility.
I kept reading until Galatea told me that the energy-crystals in my body were charged and I could go back to my dorm. After stretching, I decided to do just that.
