Tsaimath
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Chapter 442
🕑 Added 2021-06-21 16:00:08 +0000 UTCFollowing the process I had used the last time, when I visited the edge of Space in the Astral, I let myself flow up one of the streams of power. In many ways, nothing much had changed since that last time. I had an easier time navigating and was able to get a glimpse of the deeper layers of the Astral, but I was still far from able to traverse the river at will. If that was even possible. So far, it felt more like an infinite onion, with each layer I was able to perceive and slowly comprehend merely an insignificant part of a much, much larger whole.
But maybe that was what made it so fascinating. It was a mystery, confounding me to the point that I didn’t even know what it was that I did not know.
As soon as I was able to perceive the conflux of powers, where the burning radiance of the Sun was flowing past the shadow cast by the world of Mundus, I stopped, anchoring myself to my position to not accidentally get singed again. Getting a sunburn in the Astral had been incredibly painful, to the point that experiencing it again was quite close to the top of my list of things I didn’t want to experience. Especially as there was no gain to experiencing it again.
Looking out into the darkness, I had to slowly shift my mind. What was the difference between the shadow around me and the void ahead? Both could be described as “darkness”, but one was dark, despite being filled with light, the other was dark because of the absence of light. One was a darkness dependent on that light, the other side of the coin that was light, while the other had no such restriction. But how to form such a void?
Stillness, the concept of Ice-Magic, might be a way to go about it, to form an area without movement, where even light couldn’t move, which should, in turn, create a form of absolute darkness. It made me think of black holes and my, admittedly, extremely vague understanding of them. But just the idea didn’t help me to apply it in practise, my theoretical knowledge was too lacking to allow for deeper consideration. Maybe there was a way, but I would have to either study physics to a post-graduate level or find the way the developers had prepared to allow people to use such magics. If there was such a path.
However, for now, the idea of freezing light within a space to create the perfect darkness was put on hold, pending further studies, ideas or maybe some divine revelation.
Without any sudden revelations of any kind, I mentally settled in and began focusing on the Darkness before me. It was difficult, without anything to actually anchor that focus, causing my mind to drift, if I wasn’t careful.
It was so easy to let my mind wander, to allow a memory of Sigmir to intrude, to wonder what she was doing, what was going on in the city and all those questions that popped up whenever you were separated from your loved ones.
Loved ones, it was such a common term, but it was one I hadn’t ever used, before coming to Mundus. It made me feel a little weird, when I stopped for a moment to think about the feelings I was having, feelings that had been so alien in the beginning, yet had also given me tremendous comfort. At least until I stopped and thought about it.
About what Sigmir was. She acted like a person, an actual, flesh-and-blood human, or at least close to one. Yet, she was not. Unless there was somewhere a farm of Pantheon-Employees, acting the part of NPCs in Road to Purgatory, she was not a living being in the traditional sense of the words. But then, what really was a living being, what did it mean to be alive? What did it mean to be a person?
It was a question without answer, for humans on earth, the question about personhood had been a simple one, at least so far. Personhood had been limited to human beings, making it a simple answer, but my feelings made me wonder. What was the difference between a sophisticated, silicon-based consciousness like Sigmir and an actual human being?
Wasn’t Sigmir, all artificial beings on her level of cognisance, as much of a person as a human? Or did the fact that we had a fleshy shell mean that we were somehow superior?
As my mind was distracted, stumbling down mental rabbit holes, I noticed a strange twinkling, for lack of a better expression, at the edge of my perception. Something was there, but when I focused on the area, trying to get a better glimpse, the thing, whatever it might have been, was gone, as if it hadn’t been there in the first place.
But I was certain that I had seen something. I didn’t know what, didn’t even really know where, the lightless void providing few mental reference points but I had perceived something. The success helped me focus, to retract my mind from the rabbit holes it had been going down, but sadly, it didn’t help me find whatever I had seen.
When I looked back at my interface, especially the clock I had placed there, hours had passed, fruitlessly, as I stared into the void, drifting above Mundus. Mentally exhausted, I began pulling myself back, using the connection to my Avatar and Lenore as a guide.
Travelling the Astral, my mind went back to my earlier thoughts, more precisely, to Sigmir. I was missing her. Her smell, her touch, the comfort brought by her mere presence.
Without thinking deeply about it, I switched my focus, changed my guide and followed the link between Sigmir and myself. It was faint but maybe the desire to see her made it easier to follow, allowing me to swiftly move through the Astral River, letting it flow around me as if I was swimming through water. There were various currents, some of them uncomfortable for me, but it was a discomfort I gladly endured, for the chance to be close to Sigmir, even if only in spirit.
Distance within the Astral was a funny thing, as was speed. Soon, I felt close to Sigmir and slowly made my way to the surface of the Astral River, the point closest to reality, as I perceived it.
Mundus was casting a vague impression onto the Astral, almost akin to a shadow, only less clear, making it difficult to get an idea of Sigmir’s surroundings but I was reasonably certain that she was in an inn. There was another presence nearby, one that I vaguely recognised as Olivia. I wouldn’t be able to point out what it was that made me think so, the closest I could come to describe it would be the smell of her presence but given that it was the way I perceived magic, it might be some derivative from that.
But it wasn’t what I was interested in. It was the familiar presence of Sigmir that drew me, like a moth to the flame, unable to stay away. I had no idea what I really wanted to do, what I could do, but just being nearby, my presence hovering next to the bed Sigmir was sleeping in, gave me a sense of comfort. She was here. She was near.
For a moment, I considered reaching out, trying to touch her, maybe connect with her using my Mind Magic, but the idea faded as soon as I really thought about it. My Mind Magic carried with it the power of the Dark Mirror, making it inherently more powerful but also turning it into a weapon of sorts. Thanks to it, I was able to shatter the minds of my enemies, but I had no idea what it would do to Sigmir.
It wasn’t something I was willing to risk. So, I had to be content with the innate connection between us, to push feelings of comfort, of desire and of love through it, without any idea if she actually received them. I wanted to think so, wanted to believe that the feelings I got in response meant she received them. Maybe that she was dreaming of me.
The idea made me smile, even as I retreated from her presence, the mental exhaustion I had felt earlier starting to creep in again.
Once I returned to my body, I decided that dreaming of Sigmir had to be enough. Maybe we could be together in our dreams, if not in reality. With a smile on my face, I made sure that I wouldn’t fall off my throne, before closing my eyes, my mind still filled with thoughts of that one person, who made me feel… complete.
