Tsaimath
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WO, Chapter 143 - Memories, revised
🕑 Added 2023-01-24 17:14:09 +0000 UTC- AN: Some parts in the second half of the chapter have changed, to accommodate the new reality I have imposed. Enjoy, there's going to be an actually new chapter today, too.
With each step I took, the mist became denser. At first, I was able to vaguely see the outlines of trees but after a few steps, those outlines faded and even the ground beneath my feet seemed to blur, vanishing in the mist. It was as if I was walking within a thick cloud, even the texture I could feel beneath my feet changing and fading, replaced with an oddly smooth, yet spongy sensation. There was nothing I could compare it to, though that might be due to my missing memories.
“How curious…” A voice spoke from the mist, only it didn’t come from one direction, it seemed to come from everywhere at once, even from beneath my feet. It was a voice unlike any I had heard before, neither male nor female, without a particular inflexion, there was nothing that stood out, the strangeness enough to send a shiver down my spine.
“Yes, I am,” I replied, not certain how to act. When I met Giratina, Palika and Dialga, the defiant response to the overwhelming pressure they had put out had come naturally. But here, where I had put myself into the realm of a being that was just as overwhelmingly more powerful than I was, defiance didn’t seem right. But at the same time, obsequiousness didn’t feel right, either.
“I am curious, curious about my own past. I was told that the Bringer of Knowledge might be able to help me, and I certainly hope that you are that being,” I tried to explain, floundering a little before I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
“Yes, we can see that,” the voice replied and I suppressed the urge to spin around, trying to find its origin.
“And there is something interesting about you,” the voice continued, “We would seek to investigate if we have your consent?”
For a moment, I wasn’t sure I wanted to give that consent. But on the other hand, I was here for answers and if I needed to be investigated to get them, I would have to put up with things. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be any too invasive probing.
“You do,” I agreed, closing my eyes for a moment, to prepare myself for anything.
For a few seconds, nothing happened. I was about to ask what was going on when a pair of appendages touched my temples, one on each side. The touch was a little cold, three fleshy bits surrounding one harder surface, gently pressing against my head. If not for the sensation coming from both sides, I might have dodged but for some reason, I was utterly unable to move.
Around me, the mist didn’t change but within me, it was as if somebody had flipped the passage of time around, my memories playing in reverse, going from the current moment back, at first slowly, but soon speeding up. Time passed around me, maybe quickly, maybe slowly, as I watched through my own eyes how I walked through the forest with Charm, how I stood near the Ice Rock and my departure from Snowpoint City. The memories started to speed up even further, turning from a stream of connected images to something less distinct. Some memories still stood out with clarity, like the meeting with Lisa, but others became blurry. The bowls of porridge I had eaten for breakfast, for example, blurred together into one bowl, eaten within a variety of environments, just like the time sleeping in my tent. Those similar memories blurred into one mess, as my journey flickered by in reverse.
Some memories slowed down, allowing me to relive them. In some cases, it was a great feeling, filling me with joy, in others, not so much. Memories of battles in which my partners had gotten hurt filled me with a combination of guilt and shame, that I hadn’t taken better care of them, only to be replaced by memories of their triumphs, filling me with joy and pride. It was a mixed bag, though I couldn’t stop the tears that started running down my face when I remembered the large battle near Jubilife City and the death Gym-Leader Bree had been forced to deliver. Once again, I wondered if there was a better way.
Another memory that was slowed down, to the point that seconds in the memory felt like minutes to me, was the memory of the battle Vio and I had fought against the kettle of Zubat on the Ravaged Path. Only, in the memory, it wasn’t just Vio who was shrouded in purple energy, but there was a thin layer of that energy around me, too, especially when I joined in her song. For a moment, I was completely flabbergasted, only for the memory to speed back up as we travelled through the forest.
Finally, we reached my first meeting with Cynthia. I could feel myself tense in anticipation, knowing what would come next and in the next moment, those memories came alive before my eyes. The three Lords standing there, observing me, Palkia petting my head, even now it felt surreal. But it had happened and now, in my memories, it happened again.
Remembering how I had been sent to my knees by their combined pressure and before that, how I had stood before Charm, trying to shield my dear friend behind me from the giant monster. And finally, the first memory I had, how I had woken up in the tent, confused, looking for something and not finding it, surprised at what I found. Those memories were vague and blurry, but I could remember them. But before that, I had nothing.
Only, in the memory-reel I was watching, things continued, the world blurring around me, replaced with a strange realm of swirling colours and twisting forms, where reality seemed to be far less solid than it should be. A caleidoscope of colours, whirling, shifting as all sorts of sensations were surging through me. It felt both, far more vivid and far removed from myself, making me feel as if I was floating and falling, twisting, turning, tumbling.
“How very, very curious,” the voice spoke again and now, it not only came from everywhere within the mist, it also echoed within my mind. “The Renegade was always one with more power than subtlety. But here, their lack of subtlety might have been a good thing. They simply blocked all, instead of trying to piece something together forcibly. Gave your mind time to adapt and blend together, mending the cracks between the different pieces”
“What do you mean?” I managed to ask, noticing how my knees were shaking, witnessing my memories, especially the strange realm at the end, was leaving me drained and exhausted.
“You were broken, and put back together with hopes, dreams and fragments swirling through the Renegade’s realm. Some of those pieces came from you, and some from others who are also you. Or who might have been you, or might become you? Time, space, neither truly exists within the Renegade’s realm, the very idea of reality is more fluid than anyone but the Renegade can comprehend. Maybe not even the Renegade can,” the voice explained, its tone strangely distant, yet somewhat amused.
“Broken? By what? Or by whom? How long would that mending take, how long until I can remember?” I pressed, my confusion only increasing. Shouldn’t there be one string of memories of my past? But something breaking me? Even broken, I should have a past, something before I was broken.
“It would have taken you a few years, maybe a decade, as humans measure it. Not too long at all, at least by the reckoning of a being old enough to have seen mountains rise and fall;” the voice told me, the amusement fading, as if it was starting to grow tired of my presence.
“I need to know my past. Where do I come from? What happened to me?” I pleaded, unwilling to simply leave it at that.
“It would be painful for you. The cracks might grow deeper, you might even break once more. And here, there is only knowledge, nothing that I could use to mend the fragments of yourself. Are you certain you want to know now and not wait until you recover your memories naturally?” the voice asked and for a moment, I hesitated. But I needed to know and I wasn’t willing to wait a decade, so I nodded. For a moment, the touch on my temples vanished, leaving me with nothing but the blurry mist before me. Feeling that I could move again, I shook my head in confusion, trying to understand what was going on.
Suddenly, a small creature floated past my head, its golden head a stark contrast to the swirling white mist around me and its two tails gently swaying in the air. When it came to a stop before me, I could see an odd face, two tightly closed eyes and a gently smiling mouth. Its tails reached out, one on each side, touching my temples again and suddenly, my head felt as if it was on fire as memories started to surge within my mind, too fast and far too many. My eyes started to bleed when the Uxie opened its eyes, looking at me with compassion.
And in that compassion was oblivion, my mind and memories fading away, leaving me in blissful, painless darkness.
