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AnimeCon Harem 11: Chloe Confrontation

🕑 Added 2020-12-27 07:15:57 +0000 UTC

Comments

Batts

Love the way that you are writing this, as long as the reader can keep continuity which will be easier in the completed story, the way this is written will work fine. What is confusing for some people right now is that this has been written over a period of 2 1/2 + years. Readers will tend to forget both small details and major plot points in that length of time.

Eduardus Sallo Caesar

Presumably, yes.

Kabir Kumar

Alright, that makes sense. I see the hints of that from Brian and the girls' attitudes now. Though maybe that could be made clearer? Or actually, maybe from the guards or security's attitude? Surely some outsider is weirded out by how a girl is screaming and crying and trying to get a group kicked out of animecon? Or how there's a massive debacle about whether or not people can stay at an animecon?

Peccant

And then everybody applauded

Cashmere Woods

If Chloe named Brian in the forum, with a false accusation, isn't that libel?

FortySixtyFour

What's silly about the stakes? Chloe knows the yearly excursions to AnimeCon are important to Brian, and she might be in a position to take that away from him. Brian's a decent laid back guy and she can permanently stain his reputation if she can get him removed from the con. That's a foothold for her to establish the validity of him being guilty over any number of things, and the kind of stigma he could just as easily lose his job over. Chloe's moving to isolate, burn, and ruin Brian in any way that she can, she doesn't have the knowledge readers do of how close he's become with the girls and imagines that things between him and them will be either ruined or at the very least extremely strained.

Kabir Kumar

I don't care if it's realistic or whatever. It's not engaging to me. The stakes are silly and aren't played with any sense of irony.

Krysm Phoenix

This feels more coherent than a lot of my Among Us meetings. It's a really good escalation of drama and lol the girls are not helping at all even though they really want to.

Fararden

I can just picture Kelly tracing the lining of the badge with her middle finger and exclaiming in mock surprise, ‘Oh, this?’

Mkrayn

Kelly stole the show in this one!

Jacob

Honestly I love that Brian finally stood up for himself and didnt let chloe just railroad him into what she wanted. And Chloes breakdown seemed really in line with the way someone who's trying to follow a ton of lies and loses control would breakdown. Also how a feminazi would breakdown as soon as you started proving them wrong, just go immediately into screech and blame mode.

Joe ?

And then Chloe exploded, like the villain of the week on a power rangers episode.

RLDel

She's acting very presidential, at least by today's standards.

RLDel

This is the writing that got me to sign up for Patreon. Great work.

Peccant

Alphabet soup is technically word soup and it’s pretty popular.

Sullivan

Looks damn good for word soup. And if you’ve ever argued with a highly emotional person, this is how flows. Again, well done.

Kabir Kumar

This just looks like chaos. Chloe is just shrieking about one thing after another. This whole thing just feels melodramatic. They're talking about an animecon. The worst case scenario here is that the group all get kicked out of an animecon. Everyone knows that Chloe is a bitch. There's no risk of Brian getting out back under her thumb. What is Chloe even trying to do here? What's the best case scenario for her here? Being alone at an animecon and Brian and his group being kicked out? There's no real tension or stakes.


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