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After AnimeCon: Grave Matters
🕑 Added 2024-06-27 16:49:03 +0000 UTCShaking his head, Brian turned back towards the woods and leaves crunched underfoot as he wound his way past trees and through the brush after Rebecca. Retracing their steps from last night wasn’t difficult—everyone tromping back and forth this way in a hurry had left a clear trail to follow with broken branches and shoe imprints trodden through the greenery. Everything here looked so much more bright and alive now during the day, and the growth of the ferns dappling the forest floor and the way morning light streamed through the tree trunks in the distance made for quite a majestic sight.
When he reached the open grave, Rebecca had already hopped down inside. She was picking up the harem charm using the hem of her tunic, and with just a bit of shifting and adjusting she was able to then finagle the mysterious wooden token to tuck into the simple belt she wore around her waist. With what seemed like a heavy sigh, she looked around the messy, dirt-strewn grave Brian and Chloe had been thrashing about in last night, and then she looked up at him.
“I didn’t touch it yet!” Rebecca assured him. “I’ve been careful. Don’t want to accidentally spark myself back in.”
“You can if you want,” Brian told her. “Whenever you want, it’s up to you. Your campfire toast won us all over.”
She beamed up at him, and once again he was struck by just how gorgeous Rebecca was. A lot of the time her appearance was unassuming and a little plain, and she seemed content to fade into the background to let the others take center stage. But, then there were certain moments like this where the real Rebecca seemed to shine through—wild, unruly, and rough around the edges—but all the more stunning for it. Her true nature was kept hidden beneath a humble and dowdy facade she wore around others, so when she allowed her real self to shine through, when she was in her element… even the sight of her grinning up at him took his breath away.
“Here,” Brian went down on one knee and offered her a hand up.
“Okay!” Rebecca bit her lip at him but couldn’t stop smiling. “Here we go? One, two—three!”
In a scramble she kicked off the rear wall behind her, clambered up just high enough to grab his hand, and then she slowly walked up the wall as Brian heaved, pulling her up while rising to his own feet.
“Oh, wow,” Rebecca stumbled into him. “That uh, that worked out super well! Actually.”
“Yeah,” Brian said. “You’re—yeah, you’re pretty limber.”
“You’re a lot stronger than you look,” Rebecca said, making a point to not back off away from him or turn her eyes away. “Like, a lot stronger.”
“Thanks?” Brian chuckled, unsure if that should amuse him or not. “I think? I don’t exactly look scrawny, do I?”
“No,” Rebecca shook her head. “You don’t.”
“I… feel like I’m about to kiss you,” Brian admitted.
“I was just about to say the same thing!” Rebecca pushed herself apart from him. “Hah. Well, um. Here—take the charm. Carefully!”
“Right,” Brian agreed, reaching over and delicately tugging it up from out of her belt. “Better keep this safe?”
“Please,” Rebecca smiled again. “Put it away, or something. I, I want to drag you down into that grave and uh, and rip your clothes off? Brian, I want to ride you. It must be the charm making me want that so bad. Right? Maybe it… I don’t know, puts magic in the air? Tries to bait us into sparking in to the magic?”
“Honestly, I can’t tell if you’re messing with me or not,” Brian let out a laugh as he pocketed the charm and then gave it a pat just to be sure. “I don’t think it does? Guess we’ll never really know for sure what all it actually does.”
“Hmm,” Rebecca quirked her cheek in a lopsided smirk. “Or, maybe I’m just very very attracted to you with no magic at all?”
“That doesn’t seem too likely,” Brian chuckled. “You weren’t into me at all, back before. We’d met quite a few times.”
“I wasn’t,” Rebecca admitted. “Do you know why?”
“It’d be weirder if you were, right?” Brian said. “Because I’m not your type?”
“No,” Rebecca slowly shook her head. “It’s because Emily had a huge crush on you, and I guess… I secretly just wanted you two to get together someday. Have a happily ever after.”
“You didn’t think Choe and I were going to work out?”
“Brian… I don’t think anyone thought that,” Rebecca put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Not even you, not really. Chloe treated you like you were a convenience. Rather than an equal, or someone she cared about. I’m not even that close to Michael and the others, and I know they talked about it—it’s like they were all just waiting for you two to finally break up, so that you could get on with things.”
“Huh,” Brian said.
“Huh?” Rebecca echoed.
“No, I guess just—I don’t know,” Brian said. “That’s a lot to process, I guess? I figured if they all felt that way, somebody would have said something?”
“You were too committed!” Rebecca shrugged. “It became hard for them to step in and say something—make things even more difficult for you than they already were—before you had your mind made up about what you really wanted to do. Your, um, your dedication, your devotion, everything you put into the relationship, that was admirable. Even if those feelings wound up not getting returned, like they should have. It’s hard to interfere in other people’s personal lives.”
“Yeah,” Brian gave her a sober nod.
“And, um,” Rebecca winced. “Also, Will didn’t want Michael to push you on it, he kept saying that they can’t be the ones to ruin things or mess up things between you and Chloe, after all you’ve done for her. When… okay, actually Will just didn’t want you single again, because he knew Emily was still crushing on you hard. Will has a thing for Emily.”
“Will—you rotten bastard,” Brian let out a long sigh. “I knew he always still had a thing for her. Just—wow. It’s not even like he was shooting his shot, so—where did he think just pining for her in awkward silence forever was gonna take him? Relationships aren’t that hard. I mean, I’m not blind to what was going on with him.”
“You were pretty blind to Chloe’s faults, it seemed like,” Rebecca said. “I think that to some extent, while things were that way, everyone was just like—why jump in and get involved in your private business?”
“I mean, I was trying to be blind to some of the problems,” Brian shook his head. “Or, not make them into a huge deal. I wanted to make it work. Guess I had something to prove, or maybe sunken cost fallacy had me thinking—I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly. I was miserable. You know what? I take it back. Relationships are super hard.”
“I know,” Rebecca gave him a curt nod. “Knowing what we know now, about Chloe and her, ah, thought processes—I’m very sorry that none of us stepped in and did something about it! So. I’m very happy that things are better now. For you and Emily—for you and Stephanie, Kelly too. Christine, now that she has a new lease on life. I think everyone will be thrilled.”
“What about you?” Brian asked.
“Hmm—” Rebecca’s soft smile reverted back to a grin. “You mean like, me and you?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I think…” Rebecca turned to search the tree canopy above for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. “No, I know that I want to be a part of this. I want to be with you, with everyone. But, I have something to prove, too? I want to kiss you without being charmed. Make love to you, without any magic interference. For as long as it takes, for you to be convinced that our attraction isn’t the charm’s doing. That you’re just… great. On your own merit! I really, really like you.”
“Even though I’m not your type?” Brian teased.
“No! It’s not that you weren’t my type,” Rebecca swatted his arm. “You were mentally reserved for Emily, and it’s like I was waiting for that to come about even though your things were still tangled up with Chloe. I drew a mental box that said, ‘Emily’s Brian,’ and didn’t let myself properly consider you. But, now… now yes, Emily has opened up that box, and there’s, I guess, there’s lots of you to go around? Hah ha ha—! Enough for everyone?”
“You’re really okay sharing me with the girls?”
“I love them all,” Rebecca said. “So, of course. They’re all lovely. I love every bit of you I’ve seen, too, and I want to see more and more.”
“I’m… very interested in you,” Brian admitted. “I feel a strong attraction, even without it being the weird psychedelic color magic stuff. No, I guess really it’s even more than that. I need you, we need you. You’re basically a part of the group, already. We couldn’t have managed through this without you, and I don’t want to think about whatever the future might hold for us if you’re not there.”
“Then, that’s settled,” Rebecca gave him a cute nod. “We shall seal this with a kiss.”
“But, that’s just what I want, and my needs,” Brian continued. “And, I don’t want that to be the sole focus when maybe entering into a relationship. So—what about your wants and needs? How can we make this all a more equivalent exchange, or well, make sure that you’re getting everything you want and need out of this, too?”
“Hmm-hmm-hmmm—!” Rebecca surprised him by leaning in and rubbing the tip of her nose against his in an eskimo kiss. “Don’t worry about it!”
“Hah, well I kinda have—”
“Brian,” Rebecca stopped him with a hand on his chest. “No. Us building a relationship together is not a business partnership, or a negotiation, or anything so transactional that needs to be worked out into details and specifics. That is a very backwards way of going about love!
“I don’t do the things for everyone that I do because I expect something in return. I do what I do because I love you all, and my actions are the expression of my love. I stayed here with Chloe because I cared about her, and wanted to make sure things turned out okay for her. Whether or not she appreciated it at the time, or even if it’s something she definitely wasn’t ever going to thank me for.”
“I… do see what you’re saying, kind of, but at the same time I want to make sure that—”
“I love you because I love you,” Rebecca shrugged. “You’ll know it in action and deed. If you want to love me in return, I welcome that! But, you don’t have to—and you don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“Hah,” Brian shook his head. “You know, I really wasn’t trying to make that sound all transactional, or like it was that kind of exchange. I just want to—”
“I know!” Rebecca closed the distance to tickle her nose against his again. “Brian, I know, I know. I was just… let’s say I was just clarifying! You, um, you have these deep wounds still, these patternings that were… carved into you through the malice of another, and whenever I think you might be slipping back into those old tracks even a little bit, I want to stop and pull you out of them.”
“Was…” Brian stopped and gave her a second look. “Was that all something you saw in the uh, the dreamscape?”
“Yes, or I guess—” Rebecca pursed her lip. “Maybe? It’s one of those things I probably suspected, but then meeting you in there just sort of confirmed everything, for me. In there, we’re both laid bare to one another, I think our deepest self is revealed. The id rather than the ego. In there I know you, just as deep down I know myself.”
“Id, rather than ego,” Brian repeated. “So like—the unconscious rather than the conscious mind. Right? But then also hell—where does all the elements and stuff come into that? I’m dirt, you’re… trees? Or, uh, wood element? That’s a thing sometimes, in some classical element systems. Chinese elements? I think? They have both wood and metal, from what I remember. Kelly’s starmetal.”
“I don’t know anything for sure,” Rebecca gave him a little shrug. “I like to imagine that all of that is just the charm aiding us, by… abstracting out representations, aspects of ourselves that we struggle to understand. How they’re assigned, what the deeper meaning might be for each of them—I have no clue! I do think they help, though. I think maybe they’re also a bridge, of sorts? To help connect the very, very different ways we each process our thoughts and feelings to one another, in a way that’s easier to understand. Because, all of our minds are so different from one another.”
“Makes sense, yeah,” Brian laughed and shook his head.
“What?” Rebecca gave him a teasing look.
“Sorry, just—another reminder,” Brian said. “That you’ve all had a whole month to sit and think stuff through, kind of mull all this stuff over. Have time to arrive at conclusions. I’m still just kind of feeling overwhelmed and trying to catch up.”
“I did try to tell you all of these things in there!” Rebecca laughed. “Back while we were still connected. You’re a great listener! Just. I think because it was a dream, you couldn’t really hold on to higher concepts, in there. Wordings and phrases and all that kind of communication that involves thinking—since our id doesn’t really process those things.”
“But, you’re saying you were still able to speak? In there?” Brian asked. “So—maybe part of your power was bringing more of your ego to bear within the dreamscape? To leverage higher consciousness? To uh, I guess Emily chalked it up as ‘dreamwalking,’ on her little whiteboard thing?”
“Maybe?” Rebecca answered in a chipper voice. “I really have no clue, though. It felt like I was able to use words in there, but, well—you know how dreams are. It could also just be my imagination. It could be that my mind is just that different? I definitely feel like I’m rooted in to everything there, in a different way than the others.”
“Yeah,” Brian nodded. “Yeah. This is all—like, holy shit. Keeps hitting me that this is all real, that this is really happening. Magic and everything. It seems unreal.”
“I know!” Rebecca agreed with enthusiasm. “It’s so exciting! I almost can’t even wait to get back into it. But, I am willing to wait, because I want to prove to you the magic isn’t mind-controlling. I do think that it’s affecting us—I think there’s no way for us to be unaffected after having our deepest unconscious selves exposed to one another. I just don’t think that’s a bad thing at all! Because, Brian—these girls, they all know you. On the deepest level possible, and even if they haven’t had time yet completely to get to know you in the ordinary sense, they know you.”
“Guess that’s one way of putting it,” Brian hummed. “Can’t really disagree—the colors stuff, the connection does kind of… seem like it bypasses way on by the masks or facades or whatever we build up around ourselves. The uh, I guess layers of trivial misunderstanding each other or projecting what we want to see or even what we fear onto them instead of… really knowing them. So—yeah, maybe that’s what the charm does?”
“Yeah! Maybe,” Rebecca said, giving him a quick look up and down. “I don’t know! Yeah. You’re really distracting.”
“I’m distracting?”
“You are,” Rebecca shot him a smirk, stepping back from him to skirt around the grave to the far side where the dirt and root cut-offs were piled in a heap. “You’re so super-distracting—it makes it hard to talk to you! Gives me this urge to stop being gentle with you.”
“I mean, you don’t have to sugarcoat anything you’re saying,” Brian chuckled.
“That’s—that’s fundamentally not what I even mean,” Rebecca said with a laugh. “Whatever. You’ll see! You’ll see.”
“Ominous.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Do you really feel, uh—” Brian paused. “Distracted? In that way, right now? Like you’re maybe being affected by something?”
“Oh, Brian,” Rebecca shook her head in apparent dismay before casting a mischievous grin at him. “I’m definitely being affected by something! Just, don’t jump to thinking that whenever that happens, that oh, it must be magic. I’m allowed to look forward to what’s to come and just anticipate it, to let all of that start to influence my mood on things.”
“I’m not, I’m not,” Brian chuckled. “Just—well. Can’t blame me for checking?”
“A likely story…” Rebecca teased, before letting her smile fade and looking at him with a more thoughtful expression. “Brian? Do you feel more… at peace? With the magic situation, now?”
“Honestly? I hate to say it, but yeah,” Brian admitted. “I do. On paper yeah, I’m one hundred percent against anything that’s even possibly slavery or brainwashing, mind control or mind control-adjacent. But then, on the other hand—hell. I don’t know even how to put it into words without sounding like a psychopath…”
“Chloe?” Rebecca guessed.
“Yeah,” Brian sighed.
He lowered himself down to sit at the edge of the grave while they talked, letting his legs hang down inside.
“It’s just—” Brian said. “I never realized how much she got to me. How she became this ever-present fear in the back of my head, that she was going to come after me. Or, come after us. To just be—you know, hell-bent on fucking us over in any way she could. Through any means. Us having some bullshit magic to just make that problem go away… turns out that’s just a huge gigantic load off my shoulders. Hah. Something I don’t have to stress or worry about, anymore. And, even on top of that—Chloe seems happier, now. Better, more… I don’t know, well-adjusted?”
“So, you don’t like it, but at the same time, it did work out really well?”
“Yeah, and I know how shitty that sounds,” Brian shrugged. “I don’t want to ever be the kind of guy who thinks the ends justify the means. And. I’m not proud of what we did to her.”
“I think you should be, though,” Rebecca said.
“No,” Brian disagreed. “Regardless of whether or not she’s happier now, or ‘better,’ or well-adjusted or whatever. It’s not something she chose. We forced it upon her. That’s a super slippery slope I never wanted to start exploring, because I feel like it’d be real easy to start justifying a lot of really evil things out of that kind of… ‘good intentions.’”
“But—” Rebecca tried to interject.
“And, it’s not like it was entirely good intentions with Chloe in the first place,” Brian continued. “It was out of self-interest. I was furious with her in the moment, too, and I hate that. Really hate that. My dad was like that—lashing out at things when he was pissed, lashing out in anger. I wish I could’ve been in a better mental place right then, to where I could see things more objectively, but then again at the same time—what the fuck else were we even supposed to do? Sorry, yeah, swearing again. Just—I hate that she pushed us to where we thought that maybe taking away her free will was our only remaining option.”
“Or, you have it backwards,” Rebecca countered. “Maybe she was a prisoner to a twisted self-destructive tendency, and by kissing her you freed her and allowed her to have free will again. Who’s to say what was really going on? You seem intent on viewing yourself and what you did in the worst possible light. Tell me, Brian—let’s say we had just set her free, uncharmed. That, hmm, that maybe I instead helped her out of this grave last night, drove her back to civilization. What would have happened then?”
“Nothing good,” Brian sighed.
“Nothing good for you, and nothing good for her, either,” Rebecca gave him an expressive shrug of her shoulders. “I hate to say it, but she was very determined to set herself on a path to ruin. I’m not sorry that you saved her from that.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Brian said. “I know it probably seems like really I’m trying to play up the guilt and angst, there. Honestly, what I hate even more is just how much relief I feel. Not having the Chloe-shaped sword of Damocles hanging over my head, anymore. For how conflicted and hung up on everything I was last night… this morning, seeing the girls seem like they’re trying to accept Christine, and seeing Christine maybe start to open up towards them a little? It was like—fuck, I’m just so fucking glad all of that nightmare from before is over with and behind us.”
“Language!” Rebecca giggled. “Brian, sheesh. But, hmm—I do know what you mean. Give it some more time, Brian. All of that? That was ugly business. I think if you give yourself some time, you’ll be able to make peace with what had to happen, there.”
“I think so, too,” Brian said. “Yeah. It’s weird. You’d think I would be, uh, tensing up whenever I see her still, or like mentally bracing myself for Christine to open her mouth and say something that cuts real deep. But—she has the same face, but it’s hard to see the Chloe there, now. In her expression, I guess. It’s not just the silver hair and red eyes, I swear. It’s like seeing Chloe but if she allowed her face to relax, to let herself show vulnerability. Instead of having that stern set to her brow, or always wearing that look of disgust, or having her jaw set in that certain way.”
“Mm!” Rebecca made a noise of agreement. “She can be very lovely, when she’s not scowling at everyone! Her posture’s different, too. Chloe always crossed her arms up high, over her chest. Judgemental, defensive, maybe a little aggressive? As Christine, she hugs her arms against herself down lower, over her belly. Displays discomfort rather than defensive, and it’s so much more submissive—it’s like she’s signaling that she’s lowering her guard for you.”
“I did notice that, yeah,” Brian nodded. “Guess it’d be hard not to, after knowing her for as long as I have.”
“But!” Rebecca stuck her tongue out. “Enough about her. She’ll be fine! Let’s get this whole pile pushed on over and back in there. It’ll be a whole heck of a lot easier to fill in then it was to dig out!”
“Whoa whoa whoa, Rebecca,” Brian admonished. “Language. What if Stephanie starts picking up on that and saying heck all the time?!”
“Har har har, you’re so fucking funny,” Rebecca blew a raspberry at him. “Jerk.”
“Rebecca!” Brian gasped. “I’m shocked!”
“Yeah, yeah, keep it up, mister—I was gonna let you use the shovel, since I’ve only got one here. But, hm hm hmm, at this rate…”
“Hah, go ahead and use the shovel,” Brian said, rising up from the graveside and brushing off the seat of his pants. “I’m not afraid of getting my hands dirty.”
“It’s your funeral!” Rebecca chuckled. The shovel she had used to help excavate the big pit was planted standing up on the other side of the pile, and Rebecca pulled it out and then scooped up a hefty portion of earth.
“Actually… on that note,” Brian crossed around to stand beside her and took a handful of dirt from the top. “Is it okay if I, uh. Say a few words?”
“Of course!” Rebecca said. “Please.”
“Thanks,” Brian said.
He took a deep breath, holding out the fistful of dirt over the grave and unsure of what to say for a long moment. This was Chloe’s grave, and she had went down into it and never climbed back out. She had for all intents and purposes died down there, but Brian would be lying if he offered any words of pity or claimed that she would be missed.
“Chloe,” Brian began. “I’m sorry that it came to this. I’m going to try to bury any ill will I may have held towards you here with you today. I promise to take care of Christine—to treat her with love and respect. To never abuse any trust she places in me. Goodbye Chloe, and I hope you can rest in peace.”
When he opened his hand, the dirt trickled down out of his grip and into the empty grave, and he stared after it for a long moment. It felt a little stupid, but then it was also serene in a rather surreal way.
A long time ago, after breaking up with his very first girlfriend, Alyssa, he’d had a late night with the boys—Michael, Will, and Mark—just talking about why things hadn’t worked out. Venting and decompressing to some sympathetic ears, while he and the guys were slouching shoulder to shoulder against the rear wall of the Seneca Marino’s, where cooks and delivery drivers took their smoke breaks or just hung out. Michael had insisted he ‘pour one out for what could have been,’ and Brian had chuckled and tipped his soft drink cup forward to spill some out across the back pavement there.
This felt a bit like that—a little bit silly and irreverent, but then also it was cathartic simply making a symbolic gesture and saying some words, because he did mean them. Brian decided that meaning it was what helped give actual closure to the ritual, rather than any certain words or motions he went through.
“That was nice!” Rebecca seemed to genuinely approve. “I wish everyone could have seen it.”
“Well, probably better this way,” Brian shook his head. “Don’t imagine Emily would’ve had anything nice to say.”
“Touché,” Rebecca laughed, chucking her shovel full of dirt in. “Although—hey, you never know? Maybe she would surprise us. I think she’s starting to feel better about things?”
Uncomfortable letting her do all of the work, Brian dropped down to his knees and began to push the pile with both hands. For several long minutes he gathered and shoved loose soil and root cut-offs down into the hole in a cascade while Rebecca worked beside him scooping and tossing. The grave was deep and the pile was bigger than it looked—but most surprising of all was the amount of stubby sawed-off root sections he discovered while moving earth.
“Damn, Rebecca,” Brian remarked, picking up an oblong piece of root about as thick as his arm and tossing it down into the pit. “Still can’t believe you managed hacking down through all this in the first place.”
“I had a whole month!” Rebecca laughed. “It wasn’t a big deal. It gave me something to do.”
“Chainsaw?” Brian asked.
“Hah—I wish!” Rebecca said between casting shovelfuls down into the grave. “I don’t have my own, and I didn’t want to have to ask to borrow my grandpa’s for who knows how long. All of this was with the hatchet for the upper ones where I could still brace myself for proper cuts, and then when I got deeper and didn’t have leverage, I switched to my hacksaw. Had a whole pack of replacement blades for that, so, no big deal. Did have to stop and sharpen my hatchet a few times. But! Yeah, gave me something to do.”
“Well, I’m impressed.”
“Good! It was a super impressive grave,” Rebecca said. “My second one going this deep. I think back when I was, oh… thirteen? Fourteen, or so? Our cat Blacky died. I was inconsolable—I took a shovel out to the garden, and I went six feet down. My grandpa I think wanted to stop me, but grandma knew—I was on a mission. Blacky deserved a proper grave. She was great. More than anything, I think it helped. Grief is just so maddening and difficult to deal with. Having something to do with your grief, some outlet or way of processing? It really helps.”
“Yeah,” Brian said. “I’m… I’m really glad we didn’t wind up having to put an actual person down in this grave. Like, a body.”
“Oh my God, yeah!” Rebecca emphatically agreed. “I mean, I would have, if I had to. But yes, super glad it didn’t come to that. That would have been bad. That would have been not good.”
“Yeah,” Brian chuckled.
At this point, he was having difficulty keeping pace with Rebecca. About half of the pile was pushed in, but now with the remaining mound was more spread out it was harder for him to simply shove portions in using just his hands. Examining them for a moment, he found them filthy—some of the dirt still had moisture in it, so it was more than enough to cake beneath his fingernails and look like he had been playing in the mud.
That’s okay, too, Brian decided. Symbolic, right?
“I can get the rest,” Rebecca offered. “I’ve got the shovel.”
“No, I was just thinking,” Brian said, returning to scoop up double-handfuls and toss them into the excavation. “This is all real symbolic.”
“Oh?” Rebecca quirked a smile at him. “Let me guess—burying your past?”
“Well, that too,” Brian nodded. “But, I was thinking—this is all earth. I don’t usually spend my time down in the earth, really reconnecting. You know? In the dreamscape, this is me. I am made of earth. I have this vivid image of looking down at my hands, and kind of watching them crumble away. Then, this here, this pile, it isn’t just earth—it’s also full of all these root pieces you cut away. Parts of the trees—in the dreamscape, these were you.”
“Huh,” Rebecca said, pausing to look across the pile. “You’re definitely right. So—what does all of it symbolize, do you think?”
“That, I don’t know,” Brian laughed. “That I may be burying my past, but that I’m not doing it alone? That this is something we’re doing together? Something meaningful?”
With a big grin, Rebecca looked back and forth and finally decided to toss aside the shovel. Unafraid of dirtying her tunic, she joined him in a crouch atop the pile and used her hands to start moving things.
“Well, I didn’t mean you have to—”
“No! No, this is good, I like this,” Rebecca assured him. “When you put it all like that, I really like this. You’re burying your past, while I’m, um—well, I’m deciding to put my roots back into this situation. To get involved again. And, we’re doing it together!”
Actual progress in filling in the grave slowed to a crawl, but Brian had to admit they were having fun—there was something primitive and childish crawling around here in the woods throwing clumps of dirt along with Rebecca. They threw handful after handful in, and occasionally stooped down together to push a bunch all the way over until it just fell into the mouth of the pit. The work was cooperative rather than competitive and they were making a big mess, but they were also sharing smiles and subtle glances because they were both simply having a blast.
“Whoop!” Rebecca almost grabbed at his hand as she was reaching for more. “Sorry!”
He wanted to roll his eyes at her sheepish apology—it wasn’t as though this whole side was his dirt, or that they’d drawn a line dividing whose dirt was whose. For several seconds he rocked back on his heels and took a long look at the tunic-clad girl crouched here beside him. Then, he leaned in and took her hand just as she was grasping another fistful of soil.
Rebecca froze, and when she turned to look up at him, her expression seemed to be a mixture of amusement and disbelief.
“...Stop that!” Rebecca suddenly said. “My hands are dirty.”
Brian almost withdrew his hold on reflex, but he was able to stop himself from acting at the last moment when he caught Rebecca’s eyes. Rather than bothered or annoyed or even a little bit put-off… she was sending him a curious, slightly expectant look, and that look prompted his next words almost even before he realized what he was saying.
“My hands are dirty too, what are you afraid of?”
“Afraid?” Rebecca retorted—but she couldn’t contain her smile, and she was already rising up closer to him.
“You’re trembling,” Brian said.
“...I’m not trembling!” Rebecca denied with glee, giving her hips a little back-and-forth wiggle.
“I think you like me because I’m a scoundrel,” Brian was able to quote the line without even bothering to think. “There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.”
“I happen to like nice men,” Rebecca confided, now drawing so close that their noses were almost touching again.”
“I’m a nice man,” Brian said.
“No you’re not, you’re—”
Cutting off her words with a kiss felt incredible—and he could almost hear her give out a little trill of enthusiasm as his lips suckled against hers. Within an instant of him robbing her of the last of her strawberry flavored chapstick, Rebecca moaned and opened her mouth to make the kiss even more intimate. Again there was no obvious magic bridging their inner selves together, but this moment seemed to be in defiance of all of that, because even without magic it was still an amazing connection they were sharing.
Romantic movie quotes? And, she’s not just into them, she’s INTO them? Where has she been all my life? If I had—
Sudden and dirty hands were on his biceps, but rather than trying to break the kiss and push him away it immediately became apparent that Rebecca was trying to push him down onto the pile. He gave ground to her for a brief bit out of sheer surprise—and then instead his hands were on her shoulders, and he was wrestling her back in the other direction. They tumbled together across what was left of their messy pile and then dropped a foot and a half or so into what remained of the grave, and the movement was just enough to break their lip lock and let Rebecca give out a gasp.
She stared up at him, speechless, gave him one of her most brilliant smiles, and then she was clawing at the back of his neck—yanking him back down on top of her so that they could resume making out. Rebecca made noises of appreciation, her legs were kicking as they tussled but he had no idea if she was trying to get free from him or simply roll them so she could pin him down, and with a slick wet sound their tongues met before they withdrew again in surprise to look at each other in bewilderment.
“Brian?” Rebecca panted. “I, yeah, I apologize in advance? This um, this might get a little rough?!”
“You took the words right out of my mouth—” Brian said.
Before he could even continue, she did just that—their lips met again in a passionate crash. Rebecca was strong, her long limbs were full of power as they contested against his for who knows what. But, Brian was stronger, and as he took her arms and forcibly pressed them into the dirt Rebecca seemed to shiver in delight at realizing it. One of her knees was jammed up in against his chest, and for a moment he held it trapped their between their bodies. They both paused, and then as if in mutual agreement he allowed it free—and then her legs splayed wide and they wrapped tight around his waist.
( Previous: Campfire Toast | After AnimeCon | Next: The Feelings Police )
Comments
Marcus Cassin
Hey, I was real busy for a few months here, just getting around to reading updates. Gotta say, HUGE thumbs up for the Star Wars reference! And for the past few chapters really progressing the Chloe/Christine thing. Like, it's an appropriate struggle to spend some time on, and it was amazingly well done, but it's great to see it mostly wrap up (as much as I'm sure Christine will continue to be a troubled character for a while). Seriously, amazing stuff!
Thomas Pruckner
I see where you are coming from. But for me it's not an issue. I believe the charm does nothing more then what they discussed in the chapter before this: It opens up their minds and sets aside their individual issues to the prospect of falling for someone. For Steph it was her shyness. For Kelly it was her bad life choices and experience s. For Emily it was her resignation to being Brian's best friend and nothing more. For Christine it was Chloe. Rebecca was not into Brian before the charm, as she said she never considered him as a possible partner because to her, he belonged to Emily, so no chance. So she never allowed herself to look at him that way. Then she was charmed. She stated herself, that she wasn't aware of him in that way. Like she never saw the manly and 'yum' aspects of him, as she called it. And she had some moments with Brian. Through their sword fight, she pulled him out of his misery after they fought off Chloe. Rebecca/Mara then grew even more interested in Brian as a man. But she kept her distance because things were happening fast during the con. Also: Rebecca was instantly aware of the dreamscape and had almost instant use of some of her powers. Which Emily even commented, was unusual. It might have been, that she has such a natural connection with Brian or that she was/is much more in tune with herself then everyone else. And when she lost her 'charmed'-status during Brian's rehab she had lots of time to think clearly about everything as all the girls did - but without being charmed. And she still wants him, because her own mental barriers which hindered her from falling for Brian were gone, thanks to the charm. That being said, I don't believe Kelly or Steph getting 'umcharmed' would have worked the same way, because they are not as in tune with themselves as Rebecca is. I believe she will settle in the group just fine. She's got her alone time with Brian now and she will have her time with the girls as well as soon as she is back on the charm deal.
Josh Beale
Empire Strikes Back between Han and Leia on the Millennium Falcon
Jacob Bissey
Also, am I the only one that feels Brian and Rebecca are a bit *too* compatible? Like they seem to fit together so naturally compared to the rest of the girls that it makes the whole magic charm and harem stuff feel kind of weird. Like, I feel like if they are all going to be equals in the harem, they need to be equally compatible with Brian, but he just fits together with Rebecca so well that it seems like it could overshadow the other girls a bit, especially since she isn't even under the effects of the charm right now.
Jacob Bissey
Out of curiosity, what movie are those quotes from?
Nchalada
Fantastic chapter tease
Robert Nolan
I feel you on the dentist thing. I lost a crown a few months ago and my dentist was booked out for months. ended up going to a dental school nearby and they examined it and reset it for less than fifty bucks. Some of them even do house calls.
layer1
Your eyes are going to thank you. I can't even imagine--I'd have constantly twitchy eyelids and massive headaches if I went that long between prescriptions. I'd also be old enough to be planted my own grave, so at least something good would come from it. XD
Jeanie6754
Naughty, but do what you gotta do. Hopefully you will find a new dentist soon. Congrats on the new glasses. Makes me think I should probably get on with getting an appointment myself.
Khuri
If you need to get back to the other story, do it man. It is your tales to tell. We are just along for the ride.
MrSkyentist
Hate the cliffhanger, love the chapter. Take care of yourself man. Old glasses give me headaches and a messed up filling can be a nightmare when you least expect it.
