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After AnimeCon: The Feelings Police
🕑 Added 2024-07-19 12:29:00 +0000 UTC“Uh-huh, okay Emily Blueballs Rivera, why didn’t you ever just—” Kelly taunted.
“Oh, please,” Emily shot back. “Like you’re even doing that much better than me. If I had a set of killer torpedoes like you do, fuckin’ everything ‘round here would be sunk. Instead, you’ve barely—”
“Stop! No! Bad. Time out,” Stephanie swatted down each of their hands and then pushed the two girls apart. “No. Feelings are starting to hurt—it’s okay if you two are just, um, teasing or flirting. It’s not okay once you both start getting upset. Okay?”
“She started it,” Emily stuck her tongue out.
“Oh, grow up,” Kelly rolled her eyes.
“Alright. Alright! We’re doing this,” Stephanie insisted. “We’re resolving all of this. Right fucking now. Emily, you sit there. Kelly—there.”
“Steph, don’t swear,” Kelly sighed. “We were just playing around, it’s not—”
“Fucking now,” Stephanie kicked at the leaves and pointed. “Both of you. Christine? You too, come sit over here. We’re doing this.”
“Um?” Christine winced from where she was trying to roll up the smaller tent. “I was actually—”
“We’ll help you with that later, it looks easier to do with several people,” Stephanie said, crossing her arms. “Come sit.”
“Alright,” Christine set the canvas back down and walked over to join them.
“Okay!” Stephanie took a deep breath and ran fingers through her pink hair.
“I haven’t just been going to school and missing you all terribly this past month. I also now have an, a um, well, something like an amateur… surface-level, hobbyist’s understanding of psychiatry? Well, counseling. It, uh, it was actually packets for a course to help camp counselors manage situations with their campers when issues arise. Conflict resolution? I um, I realized partway through last night that, that I might just be throwing most of everything I think I learned out the window, and… doing this backwards, because um, because of how things are with my powers. So please—bear with me.”
“Bearing with you? Hah ha…” Emily gave her a supportive pair of thumbs-up in what appeared to be a flimsy attempt to conceal a sudden peal of dread. “Hah.”
“Uggghhhh—” Likewise, Kelly nodded and gazed off into the distance, extremely unenthused to being made to work through her feelings. “Whatever, I guess. Do your worst.”
“Okay,” Stephanie said again, shoulders slumping. “So, I. I guess how we’re going to do this, is I’m going to tell you how you feel and identify that, and then we uh, we work backwards and sort out why. So that we can… untangle all of… this.”
“Hoo-boy,” Kelly winced.
“Is it… is it really all that bad?” Emily said. “We were just messing around. And I mean, like—nobody’s perfect. Kell and I, we’ve been together and uh, dating, technically, for barely a month? I don’t even think we have much of anything really figured out, so—”
“That’s a good starting point!” Stephanie said. “We can um, we can start on… either end of all of that. Kelly feels neglected and, um, and a little bit irritated with you.”
“Whoa, whoa,” Kelly held her hands up. “Stephanie, we’re really—”
“Yes, we’re going into everything,” Stephanie insisted, steeling herself against the sudden wash of discomfort spilling off of both of them. “We, we’re not letting this get worse, or, or go on like it has been and get worse. Okay? We’re addressing it.”
“Uh,” Emily blinked at Kelly and then crossed her arms. “Neglected. So, like…?”
“Yes,” Stephanie said. “And—Kelly, Emily feels as though you’ve been distant. L-like you’ve been purposefully putting distance between you two.”
“Oof,” Emily cringed back. “Y-yeah, this is… this is all gonna be brutal. We… we’re really gonna do this, this way?”
“Okay, I have been distant,” Kelly sighed. “I do feel as though I’ve been distant. I don’t know, it’s like I’m—”
“Kelly feels… constrained?” Stephanie reported. “She’s been restraining herself.”
“Yes,” Kelly grudgingly admitted. “I have been, so—I guess that’s the distance? I do feel like sometimes, it’s like I’m trying to do this whole thing with one hand tied behind my back. So. That’s frustrating.”
“I don’t think I get it?” Emily shuffled from one foot to the other in apparent confusion, arms still crossed.
“Because, she cares about you,” Stephanie explained. “She’s, um. Kelly’s not used to, or um. Not familiar with this kind of more… serious relationship. Where she cares a lot about you. So, in some ways, she’s holding herself back a little around you.”
“I mean, yeah,” Kelly gave Emily an uncomfortable shrug. “Emily, I love you. And… I also realize you’re fragile. Not, like—not like weak. But, I feel like if I just actually let myself relax into being my normal self like I’m used to, this relationship, us, would be over, fast. And, I don’t want that. I feel like if I joke about something the wrong way, or tease you about something you can’t be teased about… that that’ll be it. It’ll be over and done, because you’ll be hurt. Again, not because you’re weak or anything. I’m just really fucking good at hurting people?”
“Okay, okay,” Stephanie held up her hands to indicate Kelly ease up. “Emily?”
“I, uh,” Emily scuffed a shoe against a clod of gravel and dirt and watched it tumble a short distance down the slope. “Yeah.”
“We need you to open up more than that,” Stephanie warned her. “Or, I’ll just open things up for you!”
“Christ,” Emily flinched. “Easy, easy, alright? I uh, I guess I just… agree? Like, I’m sorry, but it really is kinda that way. Like, I love Kelly to death, but if she went too far and uh, and made jokes about—um. Well, like, yeah. Okay. I am touchy. I have sore spots. My height—my uh, my size, my stature or whatever. My not having a big tiddy babe body. I, yeah, if she did tease me about stuff like that. I would be extremely fuckin’ hurt, and I would not get over it. I’d like, flip and hold a grudge, and I don’t know. Maybe that would be the end of… us.”
“Okay, good, good—now, Kelly?” Stephanie prompted. “I’m sensing that, um, mostly those particulars aren’t the case?”
“Yeah, not those, really,” Kelly chuckled, shaking her head. “It’d be more like—I don’t know. Emily you’re a little hottie. I’ve said that, and I meant it. It’d be more like… Emily, how you can’t take anything seriously. How you—uh, I don’t know if I should even really get into this. How lately, you can’t just be real. That actually really bothers me.”
“What?” Emily’s face screwed up, apparently blindsided. “If you don’t like the way that I—”
“No,” Stephanie jumped between them and stamped her foot. “That’s, that feeling is like a misunderstanding! Sort of. Don’t either of you jump to conclusions! I, I can feel you both, um, both all suddenly putting up walls, an-and forming arguments. Taking sides, you’re, um, you both need to realize we are not in opposition. We are all on the same team. Kelly—go ahead.”
“I guess I worded that poorly,” Kelly scowled and then tried to smile. “Uh. Well, let’s try that again? I think that—”
“Start with something affirming,” Stephanie suggested, gesturing from Kelly to Emily. “Right now. Like, um, like why you love her.”
“I, okay? Yeah,” Kelly corrected herself, off-balance and reeling—but appearing to trust in Stephanie’s specific interjections.
“Sure. Emily; I love you. I fell for you a little bit back there at the convention, when we had our like, game face serious talk. About, I guess, us. How we are, how we fit together. Both of us being different kinds of fuck-ups. Relating. I started to love you for that, and then lately, I haven’t seen that side of you at all. It’s been, well. No offense, but Emily the clown. Emily who just has jokes, and runs wild with the funny and doesn’t ever rein all that in, unless you’re super fucking pissed about Chloe. When you—”
“Okay okay, pause that one right there,” Stephanie stopped her again. “You like seeing Emily’s serious side, she doesn’t show it as much lately. That’s good, there, and let’s… let’s let Emily respond to that.”
“Um,” Christine raised a meek hand. “May I be excused? This all seems… like really private stuff, between you guys. I don’t want to—”
“It is private, and no, you may not be excused,” Stephanie insisted, putting on a cute pout. “Because—because, we are a group, a harem, we’re um. Well whatever we are, we’re all together, all of us are involved in what’s going on. Involved with each other. We’re all a part of this. Emily? Go on.”
“Having magic empathic powers doesn’t mean you get to be the feelings police,” Kelly groaned, tilting her head back towards the sky.
“Yes, it does!” Stephanie stuck her tongue out. “Emily, continue from there.”
“Uhhh,” Emily frowned, and then scowled, apparently not knowing what to say but growing more and more frustrated—frustration, with pangs of indignation.
“I’ve seen it too, a little,” Stephanie said. “Just from this visit. You’ve been acting a little different. More… I don’t think flighty is the word, but something like that. Less… able to… engage with things seriously?”
“Okay, so,” Emily said. “I guess yeah, I’ve thought about that some, too. I—I don’t really know who I am, here. Most of my life, I felt. Well, I want to say restrained like you said for Kelly, but that’s not exactly right. Pressured? Like my identity, my uh, psyche, was kept and held at a certain pressure. I don’t know, me holding in the secrets of how fucked up I really am by everything, of how I felt for Brian, of how—of everything. Then, uh, then Brian and I reveal our feelings for each other, and that… opened up? And like, emotionally speaking, I burst out of this container I was in, and my uh, my thoughts, my repressed emotions, everything expanded out to try to fill this new space. Feel this new space. This new situation.”
“Okay,” Kelly seemed to take all that in for a moment. “That makes sense. I like that you stuck with the sort of water analogy?”
“Thank you,” Stephanie nodded with appreciation. “Good. Good…”
“Thank you?” Emily let out a wry laugh. “Yeah, doing that, uh. Helped. But yeah like, I guess the context or whatever that used to basically define who I was… no longer strictly applies, and I’m sort of all over the place figuring out the new shape of my life, and not really settled back into a proper flow, yet. S-Steph, wait—what are you doing to us?! This feels fuckin’ weird.”
“I’m helping,” Stephanie hugged her shoulders as she tried to concentrate. “I think.”
“I thought she was doing something,” Kelly let out a nervous chuckle. “Uhh. Steph, babe. What are you doing? Exactly?”
“I don’t know!” Stephanie gave them a weak smile. “I’m, um. It’s like I’m getting feelings reoriented, and then once they’re like that, I’m trying to pull you both back into better alignment? To make them… closer? They do fit, I know they fit. But, um—it’s also like trying to fit together puzzle pieces, without being able to see them? Because, because your feelings have this um, this hidden side I can’t see, of all the actual thoughts and ideas attached to them. The ‘image’ on the puzzle that normally helps you put it together. I can’t see that. I can’t uh, well I can’t read thoughts. Just feelings? I don’t have telepathy. I’m the dorky version of mind-reader?”
“No, but like—how are you doing it?” Emily asked again. “Are you like, physically grabbing our feelings and yanking them towards each other? Well, not ‘physically’ in a literal sense, but you get what I mean? Magically?”
“Um?” Stephanie’s brows furrowed. “I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s complicated! Kelly—sex! Kelly feels neglected still. A bit. Sexually?”
“Excuse me?” Kelly arched an eyebrow.
Christine’s eyes widened and her mouth opened, but she didn’t seem to dare to comment.
“Right, yeah, that makes sense,” Emily seemed to understand—but didn’t, not really. “Steph, you and Brian did your thing last night. Then, Kelly helped me uh, helped me get off. But, she didn’t get off.”
“No, I-I mean with you, specifically,” Stephanie elaborated. “In the broader sense. With your two’s individual, uh, personal relationship.”
“Oh,” Emily stared at them for an awkward moment before looking away. “Right, yeah.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Kelly shrugged. “It’s not like—”
“It is a big deal!” Stephanie refuted. “Or, it will be. I think. Emily, it doesn’t bother her a lot right now, but it does bother Kelly. She’s not used to ever being with anyone who isn’t um, completely attracted to her, and she doesn’t like the way that makes her feel.”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down, Steph,” Kelly held up a hand. “No. It really isn’t that big of a deal. Seriously. I get Emily’s hangups, there, and that all isn’t something we should like, try to force. Okay? That’s weird.”
“I’m not forcing things,” Stephanie said. “I’m helping—I think. Things are all tangled up between you two!”
“Okay, um,” Emily gave them a nervous wince. “I think I get this one. Is this because I’m… kinda leery about doin’ stuff to Kelly… below the waist?”
“Yes?” Stephanie said. “I think.”
“No,” Kelly argued. “It’s fine, that’s completely fine. You considered yourself completely hetero until like, towards the end of the convention weekend back then. It’s natural for it to be weird. It’d be more weird if you were just all of the sudden wanting to muff-dive.”
“I’m fine with your tiddies!” Emily said. “Those are—those are great. I really do love them.”
“I know,” Kelly said. “And—yeah, I like that you like them.”
“I love them,” Emily corrected, sneaking a glance towards them.
“But—” Stephanie began.
“No,” Kelly shut her down. “I mean, okay yeah, in the back of my mind it bothers me a little, but I’ll fucking get over it. So what if Emily isn’t interested in fingering me? She was straight, one hundred percent heterosexual basically, up ‘til—”
“I, uh, I think it’s just still out of my comfort zone a bit?” Emily protested. “It’s not like I’m not interested, or uh, or not curious, or whatever. We came a little close to sorta doing stuff down there, at one point? It’s just… still weird? And that weirdness like, in the moment sort of brings me out of the natural sexiness or uh, or intimacy of the moment. Snaps me out of that a bit, still.”
“Which is fine,” Kelly said. “I completely get it. No rush.”
“I think we can fix it,” Stephanie frowned, concentrating.
“Whoa, there,” Emily frowned. “First of all—I feel you tugging on my whatever, and that feels weird, and—like—”
“Yeah,” Kelly agreed. “Don’t yank too hard on any of our feelings or stuff mesh together and make something snap or, uh, or overstrain, or something? Steph—Steph that feels fuckin’ weird.”
“StepPHh—?!” Emily shuddered and then made a face and worked her mouth. “What the fuck.”
“Hnnngh,” Stephanie growled in frustration as she tried to make the pieces come together. “No, you guys—they do fit, I swear. I’m just… I need to figure out how to do it right? One second.”
“Please don’t force anything,” Kelly insisted. “Steph. Steph.”
“Um—?” Christine slowly edged back away from the girls.
The feelings Stephanie was working to unknot weren’t static puzzle pieces like in the analogy she had given them, but she really wished they were. That would be so much easier. To Stephanie, Kelly’s red and Emily’s blue were temperatures—or if temperatures had flavors. And the flavors were feelings. In many ways they complemented each other well, but they also each had their own specific whorls and eddies to address. Sometimes these feelings curled inwards upon themselves and started to feel off, grew dissonant to the overall melding of colors, and these were the feelings Stephanie homed in on.
“I—I think I’ve got it!” Stephanie shook her head. “It, I think it does fit, but it’s the other way around? It goes to the other thing, like through that. Duh! That should have been obvious. I guess.”
“Uhhh—?” Emily shared an uneasy look with Kelly.
“No, it makes sense,” Stephanie explained. “Um. Think of it this way. Logically. Emily, you’re alone with Kelly, and uh, and about to do some stuff with her. Below the belt. But that feels weird, right? I mean, hypothetically.”
“Uh, yes,” Emily agreed. “Weird.”
“Now, take that situation, and put it with Brian,” Stephanie said.
“No, yeah, I’m cool with Brian,” Emily said. “Anything goes there, basically. Completely down. No offense, Kelly.”
“I get it,” Kelly shrugged. “Trust me, I get it.”
“No, I mean—like, picture it this way,” Stephanie said in a fluster. “Emily, it’s you, Brian, Kelly. Brian’s watching, he’s right there. Uh, involved with what’s going on. He asks you to try um, to try using your fingers on Kelly. Down there. Or—or asks you to kiss her. Down there. Because he wants to see, because he’d like that. How does that feel?”
“That’s—” Emily paused as she considered it. “Different? A little? Yeah. I get what you mean. I think I would… be a lot more into it? To trying to like, start things off that way?”
“Exactly!” Stephanie did a small hop. “It’s a—there was a way around. A workaround. Mentally or um, feelings-wise? I felt like there was! I knew everything fit together. Just, had to consider all of the puzzle pieces we have available.”
“So—Brian being a part of it makes it work?” Kelly asked. “Less of a barrier, there? Or, it bridges over that mental block?”
“Uhh. Yeah, wow,” Emily nodded. “Basically? You’re right, we shoulda thought of that. Should always think of Brian, first. Brian’s the best.”
“Then, Brian is the training wheels that help Emily ride right on into being with girls?” Kelly smirked. “Does that actually solve the problem, or just the symptoms?”
“I think it would,” Stephanie guessed. “Maybe. It does something.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Emily pursed her lips. “Feel like once I’d done it once, I’d have less, uh. Reservations about doing that kinda stuff in the future? It wouldn’t be as weird?”
“Okay, awesome,” Kelly dusted her hands off against each other. “Good talk? We’re done, right?”
“No, one last little thing,” Stephanie stopped Kelly from leaving. “Kelly, you’ve been a little jealous, too. Of Emily.”
“Of me?” Emily scoffed. “What the fuck for?!”
“She, um, I think she’s frustrated with how you, how—”
“Stephanie stop, just let me,” Kelly growled in frustration. “It’s… honestly extremely jarring having you go on about how I feel. To the extreme. You realize that, right? Just let me explain it, since I guess I can’t hide anything, here.”
“Sorry!” Stephanie clamped her mouth shut but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Sorry, not sorry. Go ahead.”
“Emily,” Kelly began with difficulty. “Okay. Jealousy. You’ve just been this total dork lately, being a goofball and not really being serious with anything. And, yeah, that’s bothered me, because I do still need to like, see your serious side sometimes. But, also—I’m a little jealous, because I just can’t be a goofball like you can with Brian. Not yet. Maybe not without uh, without alcoholic assistance. Like, I love him, but I don’t know how to let all my guards down, or uhh—I don’t know how to relax into things like you do. Not even a huge deal or hugely jealous or like it’s a big deal, just—it’s a little petty jealousy. One that I can live with.”
“I, uh—oh,” Emily seemed a little dumbfounded. “I guess that makes sense? I just… never really thought about things that way. With your stuff.”
“Okay!” Stephanie beamed with satisfaction. “Great. I think that wraps things up, that’s everything we can do! For now. Whew. Thank you both. That was, it was lots of fun!”
Both Kelly and Emily turned to face her, until their stares turned into glares.
“That was… actually not fun at all,” Emily grumbled. “What the fuck.”
“Yeah, is that… is this normal?” Christine asked, blinking at them.
“Steph, no offense, but that sucked,” Kelly agreed. “Like, seriously. Let’s not do that again?”
“Well, sorry!” Stephanie felt more smug than apologetic. “Sorry.”
“No, seriously—” Emily insisted. “That was weird and probably a little wrong? Almost invasive? Therapeutically invasive? Like, I get that you want us all to get along, but I don’t know that it’s right that you can like, dredge out all of our private feelings, and try to force them to fit together in some ‘picture-perfect’ way. Real relationships don’t have to exactly—”
“I know! I know,” Stephanie said, feeling suddenly serious and even a tiny bit angry. “Let’s really not do this ever again. That’s the point! You two need to communicate! I want you both to make an effort to acknowledge when you have a personal problem, and reach out to one another, so that you can work towards fucking resolving it!”
“Jesus,” Kelly blanched at Stephanie’s unexpected swearing. “Steph, I—”
“I know,” Stephanie held up her hands. “I know. But, I didn’t ask to have a front seat to your specific relationship problems. It’s, it’s more than even just a front seat, it’s like they’re happening to me. I’m not able to watch both of you neglect things, or each other, or let little problems grow into big problems because both of you refuse to deal with issues. I know you’re both used to doing things your own way, but I cannot fucking stand to see how this starts to hurt you, especially when it’s these little things that shouldn’t be hurting anyone. Okay? You are both acclimated to your uh, your usual normal suffering, but I cannot deal with it, I can’t stand seeing things grow into hurt or witnessing you two start to grow apart for stupid, senseless reasons, especially not when I can see that you honestly do love each other. Now, kiss.”
“Kiss and make up?” Emily let out a nervous laugh. “I mean, Steph. We weren’t even really anywhere close to fighting about anything, yet. These all weren’t even really problems, yet! It’s not like—”
“Kiss.” Stephanie demanded. “I know you weren’t. I’m not going to let them grow into problems. From now on, you’re not going to let things grow into problems, or so help me—the next time we do this, it’ll be worse. I could have made this so much more awkward and embarrassing, for both of you. I didn’t even touch on a, a whole bunch of that! Now, kiss!”
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Comments
Kelarys
Empathy Lvl 2 - Read Only Mode has leveled up to Empathy Lvl 3 - Editing Mode
Marcus Cassin
My goodness, what a great chapter. Some real character growth for Stephanie, after a month to herself to think about things and all that jazz. Great stuff!
Gudy
Steph taking charge like that is scary. And I think her explanation at the end as to *why* she did all that stuff was important, too. I think it might actually be the key ingredient in things like this not having to happen all that often in the future. Also, poor Christine. That can not have been comfy for her. :-D
Jeanie6754
Thanks for the update. Have a great day
Doominator10
I look forward to seeing more of Stephanie's career with growing intensity.
Stephen E Wilson Jr.
Wow, that's a very good take on an empath. Having a front row seat to misunderstandings turning into actual problems because you *feel* both sides like they are you. Mental health around an empath is not optional if you want an intimate relationship with an empath. Very nice work.
deamon121
I can't wait to see how they go about helping Christine heal from where she is now. That's going to be a rough journey
Anon Donner
More like this please. It suits your style of writing, while exploring the intricacies of both human nature and your invented universe.
mhaj58
Nothing like some group therapy to get your day going, hope we get back to Brian and Becky soon
Zaralith
Very nice, i love the idea of the feelings gestapo and see how it would be both awkward and therapeutic for everyone involved.
Drakenclaw
Congratulation, you have annoyed the healer. Prepare to get healthy, the very very messy way.
