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After AnimeCon 2: Crabs in a Bucket
🕑 Added 2025-05-15 23:10:33 +0000 UTCAs per the usual with late night get togethers at Aunt Mattie’s, Emily and those of the group who were still drinking without restraint—they dubbed themselves silly squadron—grew increasingly boisterous, loud, and unhinged as the hours wore on. Discourse there on that side of the fire wasn’t so much a conversation as it was a constant barrage of in-jokes, interrupting innuendo, arguments, and insults that continuously increased in volume.
Tanya’s English lapsed sometimes into Russian and sometimes into giggles, while Mary, Becky and Katie’s voices began to slur as the girls grew more and more combative with one another. After fortifying her stomach to satisfaction with spaghetti Monique got herself absolutely plastered, and subsequently then did nothing but cuss at everyone and complain... at which point the rest of the group was more than happy to oblige, ganging up on her and then each other with banter and jeering.
All of the heated words prompted Dottie and Rebecca both to gravitate instead towards where Brian and Candace were snuggled together on the couch. Kelly joined the quiet crowd there as well, fiddling with Emily’s phone while keeping an eye on the Rivera siblings with an amused smile. Though their side of the bonfire wasn’t exactly removed from the rest of the group, there was just enough distance between them and the others that they were able to actually talk.
“So… for your LARP, do you have to stay ‘in character’ that whole weekend?” Dottie asked. “Or—how does that work?”
“I think it’s separated into areas?” Brian guessed. “Somewhat.”
“It’s encouraged to stay in character, yeah,” Rebecca explained with enthusiasm. “But, if something happens mid-LARP, and someone needs a quick time-out? Everyone’s usually very understanding.”
“Doesn’t that really inconvenience everyone?” Candace asked. “Like. I can’t imagine it helps with the uh, the immersion if you’re all part of this, uh, well this ongoing drama or whatever, and then someone says time out, guys, need a breather, and… what, disappears from what all’s going on? The story or whatever? How does the overall narrative adjust?”
“Are we talking like, bathroom breaks, or what?” Dottie chuckled. “Because, yeah that’d be a pretty big holdup, with everyone waiting around while—”
“I imagine it’s like Dice and Dungeons?” Brian posited. “And no one person is so uhh, pivotal to everything, that their character can’t still just die from something like a real unlucky roll. Die or be removed from that part of the game, or whatever.”
“No, no—” Rebecca giggled. “It would be like, first of all—emergencies. Swinging swords at each other, padded or not? Accidents happen, people can get hurt. Usually whoever notices will yell ‘hold.’ I’d say there’s little ‘holds’ and then big ‘holds.’ A little one would be like, somebody lost their glasses in the middle of a scuffle, doesn’t want them getting stepped on.”
“Okay, that makes sense,” Candace nodded.
“For something like that, just the people in that immediate vicinity would pause what they’re doing for a bit,” Rebecca said. “If people had been locked in combat when someone nearby calls for a hold, they would stay with whoever they’re already fighting, they wouldn’t run out of that area and find other people to fight. That’s frowned upon. Bad form!”
“Duly noted,” Brian said. “Don’t try to flee the mysterious pause in time and space.”
“That kind of thing happens… somewhat frequently?” Rebecca thought about it for a moment. “Either someone dropped their glasses, or maybe a weapon broke while they were fighting and potentially became unsafe. Most of those are basic common courtesy sort of things. Ooh! Okay, here’s a good example; like, picture you’re in a protracted swordfight with an opponent, and you happen to notice that while fighting, you’ve both uh, meandered kinda close to a big huge puddle in the grass? As in like, standing water. Maybe neither of you particularly want to spend the whole rest of the event soaking wet or in wet boots, so you’d call a quick hold for just you two, and each take six or seven paces away to give your fight some more space.”
“So, just like little small but reasonable things,” Brian said. “That’s a relief then, yeah.”
“Exactly!” Rebecca beamed. “Common courtesy, honor. Now, for bigger problems—injuries while playing—whoever sees it calls out hold, and then everyone repeats it, ‘til the Herald on site is aware. Heralds are in bright yellow tunics, they’re in charge of keeping an eye on everything. If a Herald calls hold, everyone stops and takes a knee, wherever they are. So that the situation can be assessed for safety.”
“Are there a lot of injuries in this kind of stuff?” Dottie’s eyes went wide.
“Mmm, well,” Rebecca winced. “Sometimes? It does happen. That’s just part of it being an active sport, though, I think? With maybe a third of the overall players being… not particularly active people in their normal lives, hah. Pulled muscles, sprained ankles, or people take a bad tumble. Sometimes players get too enthusiastic and hit too hard, so—bruises and such. Getting hit directly in the face can kind of stun you for a bit, or ‘ring your bell’—”
“People can just smack you in the face?!” Candace was aghast. “I thought this was more like—”
“I mean, no, that is against the rules for swinging and stabbing weapons,” Rebecca laughed and gave them a shrug. “But, when people are tussling and swinging their stuff around and doing their best to win, accidents happen! If a Herald catches it happening more than once, he or she might pull you off the field for that part of the event.”
“Wait—you say swinging or stabbing,” Brian chuckled. “So, does that mean with other kinds of weapons, you can hit people in the face?!”
“Yes! Actually,” Rebecca answered. “The whole ‘missile’ class of weapons is legal for that. Arrows, javelins. Magic spells. Rocks and throwing knives and throwing stars, but kinda take those last few there with a grain of salt because well, in practice those tend to not resemble real weapons at all. You have to pretend, a bit!”
“Is that like from that meme video with the guy that was all lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!” Candace giggled. “And throwing something?”
“Yes! Basically,” Rebecca said. “Those were probably bean bags. What we use for all of that is more like… big chunks of foam, wrapped up in fabric? You can throw those full force and not hurt anybody, and those can only do ‘damage’ to people if you hit them in the head. Hitting them anywhere else doesn’t count as causing any kind of wound.
“So um, say like you see a bandit guy dressed up like a rogue, he throws like a little foam pillow at you, and manages to beam you in the noggin with it! You’re going to have to imagine and then act like you just got a throwing knife to the face, or whatever. For safety, obviously, it can’t actually be anything like an actual knife.”
“Okay, gotcha,” Brian said. “Throwing stuff is the only headshots allowed, and throwing stuff can only headshot?”
“Yes!” Rebecca confirmed. “Well, for ‘rocks’ and ‘knives’ and the like. Javelins and arrows work differently, they can wound limbs and torsos.”
“This all sounds… complicated,” Kelly said, failing to stifle a scowl. “Like a lot to have to remember.”
“It is!” Rebecca said. “But, it’s so much fun. And, once you start actually playing, I feel like you’ll all pick it up really fast.”
“Definitely does seem like it’d be handy to have one or two ‘knives’ uh, tucked into a belt, or in a pouch or something,” Brian said. “I want to be like, the grizzled mercenary medieval soldier guy who has all kinds of weapons on him.”
“When is this next one?” Candace asked. “This big LARP event thing.”
“Bear Valley Renaissance Fair,” Rebecca said. “It’s a little over a month away. Our local group in Seneca does hold practices in the one memorial park on Sunday afternoons, though! Where you can start out with some small fights and one-on-ones, and have time to get used to things. I’m almost always there.”
“I want to do bow and arrow,” Kelly said, glancing up from her phone. “Steph and I can be hidden back behind Brian and whoever else. Just shooting people, from a safe distance.”
“That can definitely be a strategy!” Rebecca confirmed with an encouraging smile. “Just, bows are more expensive, and arrows are probably the most finicky part of the LARP. They have a bit more of a learning curve? You might bring six arrows, and then maybe only four or five of those will pass weapons check, because we have to be so strict on safety for them. And—yeah. I’ve seen people bring six arrows to an event and only had one of them pass, I’ve seen a guy bring three and have none of them pass! So, yeah his whole big plan for how he was going to play each event just kinda went up in smoke? Hah.
“If you just shove them in the back of your car with your other stuff between events and don’t store them properly? Or, if you weren’t careful when constructing them, or even if you did make one perfectly, and then some jackass steps on it and bends it during a big battle? Yep… no good. The head can start to twist, or it can loose fletching, and yeah. Not safe to hit people with anymore, you’d have to take it apart and remake it.”
“Kell, it sounds like if you’re really set on attacking from range, you can also do other stuff,” Brian suggested. “Show up with a trash bag full of foam chunks to toss at people, call yourself the Queen of Knives or whatever.”
“Well—hah, no you can’t bring an actual trash bag onto the field,” Rebecca put on a cute pout. “But! You can definitely bring a linen sack of ‘rocks’ or such to chuck at people. That class of weapon. Just, I wouldn’t advise it.”
“What, is that like, the newb thing to do, or something?” Kelly asked.
“It can be strategically… unsound?” Rebecca giggled. “Introducing ‘rocks’ or any kind of that kind of missile weapon—the chunks of foam—to the battlefield, en masse? Tends to turn into a super chaotic mess, because everyone on the enemy side will be immediately grabbing those rocks you threw, and then lobbing them right back at you. After those very first throws, it stops being your advantage. Everything becomes less of a sword and spear fight, and more of a crazy dodgeball game? Whereas with archery at least, only other archers are allowed to shoot your arrows back at you.”
“Huh,” Kelly said. “Okay. I’ll think about it. All of that maybe seems… a whole lot more involved than I wanted to mess around with. We’ll see?”
“We’ll try out your next weekend practice thing,” Brian promised Rebecca with a serious look. “Just let us know when and where.”
“I’m really tempted to go take a look, too,” Candace murmured. “But shoot, I really don’t think I can, with my schedule.”
“Really?! I… oh my God I would love to see you guys there!” Rebecca’s entire face began to flush red. “So much. For any of you to come out. Really. It will be so much fun you guys, I promise!”
“Hey uh. Brian?” A frowning Katie approached them with tense, raised shoulders and slow, deliberate steps. “I… didn’t wanna bother you while you’re uh. Talking and all still. But. I don’t feel good. Can you give me a ride home?”
“Are you okay?” Dottie asked.
“Yeah, I can give you a lift home real quick,” Brian started to get up. “No problem.”
“How many beers did you have?” Kelly asked.
“I don’t know?” Katie made a face. “A bunch. I feel sick.”
“Do you feel like you’re going to throw up?” Dottie asked.
“I don’t know,” Katie growled. “I just. Don’t feel good.”
“Did you have some of that hydration stuff?” Rebecca asked, clambering up from her spot in front of the couch. “The strawberry stuff I brought. It should help!”
“Some I guess, yeah,” Katie said—her voice sounded thicker than usual but she seemed to be making deliberate effort not to mumble her words. “I don’t feel good. An—and it’s not because I can’t drink, or like. Can’t hold my alcohol? It’s just—these beers are actually kind of gross. I didn’t really realize until a few of them. I guess.”
“Okay, hey, no worries,” Brian assured her. “I can—”
“You don’t have to get up, I can take her,” Rebecca offered. “I probably wasn’t going to stay too late tonight, anyways? It’s about bedtime for me.”
“Are you sure?” Brian asked.
“Oh yeah,” Rebecca waved off his concern. “I’ve given her and Emily rides home before, it’s no big deal at all. Have to go that way, anyway. Dottie, where do you live?”
“Oh, my mom can pick me up from Katie’s place,” Dottie said. “I just have to call.”
“Okay, cool,” Rebecca said. “You guys ready to go whenever?”
“Katie—do you need to like, throw up, first?” Dottie asked. “How do you feel?”
“I was actually about to ask if I could run in and use a bathroom?” Candace let out a nervous laugh.
“Right through the double-doors, and then first left on that back hallway,” Brian said. “Katie, do you need to—”
“I’m not gonna thhrow up,” Katie mumbled. “Not going to throw up. I just don’t feel good. Okay? I’m not going to. I just drank a lot. And I don’t feel good. That’s it. That’s all.”
“Okay, okay, it’s okay,” Rebecca began to guide Katie by the shoulders. “Nothing to worry about. I have some tummy medicine in my car I can give you, okay? You’re gonna be fine, you’ll sleep it off no problem.”
“Yeah, it’s not you, Katie,” Brian said. “Michael just always buys like, the nasty cheap stuff. But hey, I hope you feel better.”
“Yeah, feel better,” Kelly said. “Was cool meeting you.”
“Yeah,” Katie stared at Kelly for a long moment. “You too?”
“Hope you feel better!” Candace said, heading down the path back towards the house. “I’ll uh, I’ll be right back.”
“Emily!” Kelly called over to the group on the other side of the fire. “Your sister’s going home.”
“She is?” Emily yelled back. “Katie—you alright?”
“She doesn’t feel good,” Brian said. “Rebecca’s taking her and Dottie back.”
“Katie, did you puke?” Emily asked, striding over in a hurry. “You alright?”
“I’m not gonna throw up,” Katie insisted. “I’m just tired.”
“Emily?” Kelly gave Emily a look. “Can you help Rebecca take your sister to the car? Please.”
“I can help?” Dottie offered. “I only had uh, like two beers.”
“Oookay?” Emily gave them a quizzical look. “Sure, yeah. And Katie—you’re not gonna blow chunks? Or spew?”
“Fuck off,” Katie moaned. “You are such an absolute. Dipshit.”
“Hold your sister’s hand on that side,” Rebecca instructed. “Because it’s—”
“I’m not like, drunk,” Katie insisted. “Seriously, you guys. I can walk just fine. I just don’t feel good.”
“No, I mean because it’s dark,” Rebecca finished. “We were just running around in the woods after dark last night, and one of my friends took a real nasty spill! So, yeah. Take my hand, here.”
“Oooh, right, Christine, yeah,” Emily nodded as she helped lead Katie away. “Bro—that was more than just a ‘nasty spill.’ She legit almost fuckin’ died.”
“Who did?” Katie sounded bewildered. “Christine? Who’s—”
“One of my friends,” Rebecca explained. “Bye, everyone!”
“You guys’re leavin’—?!”
“Laaater—!”
“Bye bye, muscle mommy!”
“Byyyee—!”
“Is Katie alright—?”
“Bye, Rebecca!”
“Weee’ll meet agaiiiin—don’t know wheeere—don’t know wheeenn—!”
“Catch you later, Rebecca,” Brian waved. “Thanks for making it out.”
“Thank you guys for the pizza!” Rebecca called. “I’ll treat, next time.”
“So, uh,” Dottie took a step to start to follow after Rebecca and the two Rivera sisters. “Was cool meeting you guys? Thanks for the ride earlier, and everything.”
“No, thank you,” Brian said. “Seriously.”
“Uh—?” Dottie hesitated. “For what?”
“Everything,” Brian said in a quiet voice. “The healing spell frame stuff, helping them deal with the whole aftermath there at the hospital. I really, seriously owe you.”
“...What?” Dottie stared at him.
“I honestly wouldn’t even be here tonight, if not for you,” Brian said. “Able to hang out with everyone again like this. So—thank you, Actress. Really. For everything, I appreciate it.”
There was a long, pregnant pause as Dottie looked at him in apparent confusion.
Then, the light from the bonfire dimmed, and the shadows began to stretch across the clearing, distorting even the patches of barren earth that were lit. Emily, Katie, and Rebecca disappeared into the distance, and then even the rest of the group began to draw away—as if some almighty power had decided to adjust the depth of field of reality itself. Brian and Kelly watched in horror and fascination as the apparent distance between their couch and the bonfire elongated, the visible breadth of space between here and there distorting out until they seemed to be several dozen yards away from the bonfire clearing.
Dottie’s appearance warped into the familiar shape of Mrs. Rivera too fast for Brian to even appreciate the sheer spectacle of it, and she was already giving both of them a thoughtful look.
“Hmm,” Actress pouted. “Brian, you didn’t ever actually masturbate thinking of me, did you?”
He had to force himself to take a deep breath and then steel his nerves just so as not to stammer, because provoking this woman was a lot more terrifying than he had ever expected.
“No, I didn’t,” Brian admitted. “I, uh. I did fantasize about you, but not in that way. Not to be disrespectful, but I saw you as a uh, as kind of a fantasy… surrogate parent figure—and I wanted that so badly, that it really genuinely was starting to get to me. Wanted you to be my mom, wanted the kind of family I saw that Emily had. So badly that if I could have had a magic wish back then—that would have been it. To have been part of your family, rather than trapped with the one I was dealing with. So, it was hard for me to sexualize you. Would have felt wrong and weird. No offense.”
“No, I believe you,” Actress said. “Although—why did you lie to your friends, then?”
“Because, I know them all too well?” Brian chuckled. “Nothing would convince them that I fapped to you more, than me trying to deny it. They’d have never let it go, then.”
“Of course,” Actress allowed herself to smile. “Well. I’m very honored you would think of me that way? You know, Brian, I always liked you. And, with the way things are shaping up, you might just wind up as my son-in-law, yet?”
“Very true,” Brian nodded. “Kelly might become your daughter-in-law, too.”
“Hmm. You know, it’s extremely rare that anyone sees through one of my acts,” Actress said, looking back and forth between Kelly and Brian and tapping her lip. “How vexing. What was it that gave me away? Is it because I stepped back out of the way, when Chloe came over to hand Katie our pizza? I thought I was being pretty subtle, there, and I know I didn’t bump into her power, tonight. I was being so careful!”
“Uh, no, actually,” Brian said. “Didn’t even notice that.”
“One of my future selves sent me a heads up,” Kelly confessed. “They do that, sometimes.”
“Ooh, right,” Actress wrinkled her nose in distaste—it was so similar to the way Emily looked when she did it that the resemblance became eerie. “You had mentioned that. Damn, you get future sight that often?”
“Pretty often,” Kelly shrugged. “More often than I like.”
“And to think they always called my powers bullshit,” Actress muttered under her breath. “I mean. That’s honestly just cheating. At first I was going to say oh, you must have so many questions—but now, I suppose maybe not?”
“No, we do,” Kelly shifted in her seat, clearly uncomfortable. “Future Kelly is… she’s either very brief and to the point, or when she has a lot to convey, it becomes a lot less reliable. Or, even just starts to get contradictory, or become nonsense. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“I have… I have a lot of questions,” Brian admitted. “It’s hard to even know where to start?”
“Think it over, then,” Actress gave him a languid shrug. “You know where we live, after all? I told you ages ago that our door is always open to you Brian, and that hasn’t changed. Oh, but if you mean questions tonight, then I probably only have four or five minutes.”
“Can you teach us magic?” Brian asked. “I mean, not right now this second, but are you able to? Spells—incantations, I don’t know. Anything useful. Kelly, she’s gleaned some simple starter stuff from one of the upcoming timelines, but it doesn’t seem like enough, yet. Anything that can help keep us safe from… from them.”
“Can I teach you magic?” Actress laughed, raising her eyes to look towards the dark skies with a wistful expression. “Hmmm. Yes, of course. And—no, not at all. Everyone’s expression of magic is different, because everyone is different. Maybe sharing my experiences with it could help you, and maybe it could hurt you. Right now, asking me that? It’s one puzzle piece asking the next puzzle piece ‘how do I fit in,’ and expecting what works for one to work for the other, when all of their specific shapes and contours are different.”
“Well, we learned how to do this,” Kelly said, raising a single finger and then focusing on it with increasing intensity until her brow furrowed and her mouth was pulled into a tight grimace.
A tiny pinprick of red light appeared just at the tip of her finger.
“Ooh, that’s cute!” Actress cooed. “Very clever. An interesting trick! And, I don’t even say that to be demeaning.”
“Well I’m glad you clarified that, because calling it cute definitely feels plenty demeaning,” Kelly growled, allowing the mote of light to disappear and then clutching at her forehead. “Fucking fuck. Ow. Fuck.”
“I can’t do that, exactly, but I can make it look like I can?” Actress grinned, and she reached up and poked several burning red pinholes into the air in front of her. “When you get to where I am, there’s not a whole lot of difference.”
She then waved her hand, and the motes of light scattered into nothingness like dying embers.
“Err—” Brian winced. “Can you, I guess—elaborate on what we’re doing wrong?”
“Hmm, picture this,” Actress sighed, looking off into the darkness. “Each of you has an… invisible third arm. Which might not have the shape or even the function of an arm, this is just a metaphor for your ability to interact with the… supernatural?”
To their surprise, they watched as a ghostly third arm reached out from Actress’ left shoulder and then turned this way and that. An illusory hand grasped the air and then splayed out its slender fingers, wiggling them independently. The hand gave them a parting wave before disappearing into the night again, but Brian still couldn’t help but feel chills at the whole incredible display.
Holy fucking shit. Like, I KNOW now that magic is real, but. Well, guess it’s still just so rare that I get to actually witness it? Emily’s mom can really just… do whatever she wants, with illusions? It’s insane.
“Yeah, a metaphor—? In your state right now, you can’t see or feel the ‘hand,’” Actress continued. “Let alone the whole ‘arm,’ let alone control it well—but what you can do is work with what you can feel. So, unexpectedly, what you’ve done is like you discover a random spot of sensation at one ‘elbow,’ and now you’ve tried to—I don’t know, elbow objects off tables, or bump elbows into things? With power. Except, extended towards the meaning of metaphor with, you know, however your individual abilities or magic expression work? Which is your own bag of cats to figure out, really can’t help you there.”
“Okay, you’re saying—these ‘little tricks’ are us finding the… elbow of the metaphorical arm with which we manipulate magic?” Brian asked. “So, it’s ‘cute,’ because what we should be learning is how to control the ‘hand?’”
“Not… quite,” Actress shook her head. “Again—you finding anything at all like this to work with is extraordinary, given your circumstances! Outside of your natural expression of powers. While it may be… difficult for you to achieve anything amazing and flashy with your ‘elbow’ like that, it can still be useful, and who knows? Maybe in some situation someday, it’ll be the little bit of difference that can save someone’s life.”
“How do we learn to use our ‘hands,’ then?” Kelly growled, clamping both of her palms just above her eyebrows. “Our natural powers. Sorry. I uh. Using it like that still gives me migraines.”
“That’s the thing, you don’t use your ‘hands!’” Actress said with a sympathetic look. “Not you. Not right now. Your focus, that little wooden trinket, it’s a thing of great legacy. That legacy carries weight, and that weight will stifle most any of your attempts to ‘find your fingers,’ right now. Until you’re a lot stronger and have really grown into your powers. Think of it as—”
Actress paused, tapping her lip for a moment as a broad smile grew across her features.
“Think of it as the kiddie gloves being on,” She chuckled. “Your individual expressions of power? Well. The way they work on the world, the ease with which they can alter things, places, people? Is very, very dangerous. The nature of magic to begin with is forcing your will upon the world. The focus you have is currently redirecting all of that power ‘inward,’ for certain values of ‘inward.’ While I guess maybe normally that would be just as dangerous, yeah, all the ‘oomph’ is being pointed towards specific ‘safe’ apertures within yourself.”
“Our connections with one another,” Brian surmised, nodding his head. “Forming bonds, relationships, attraction—love. So, what, instead of trying to actually practice magic, we’d be better off just—making out with each other, or something?”
“Mm-hmm!” Actress looked upon him with pride. “That’s exactly it. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Sorry, but is that no less dangerous?” Kelly scoffed. “Love changes you. Love can make you fucking crazy.”
“True!” Actress giggled. “It certainly can do that, and it will. When you consider the alternatives, however, with this kind of thing? I imagine it’s the best you can hope for. The Masters come into things the other way… the gloves off way. They brute force whatever they wish upon the world—and after learning that, it’s almost impossible for them to relearn their idea of magic with finesse in the more… nurturing way that we can understand it.”
“Wait, wait,” Brian paused and then let out a laugh. “This uhh, this whole paradigm? With the bad guys, they fall down the quick and easy path to power, the good guys learn patience and control and all that? Isn’t that basically the same exact premise of The Flow, in Fantasy Wars?”
“Hmm, yes, yes,” Actress rolled her eyes. “Laugh all you like. I’m sure there’s no coincidence to the concepts being the same. Except—make no mistake. The Masters being vile dickheads doesn’t mean they’re all evil, and you all having a legacy focus with some basic moral restrictions doesn’t automatically make you the good guys. The Masters do serve the greater good, technically speaking, and ‘safety gloves’ on or not, you guys can still do a lot of harm with your powers, if you choose to do so. I don’t ever want you to lose sight of that.”
“Okay,” Brian frowned. “Great power, great responsibility, and all that? Got it. I guess that was also gonna be one of my other questions though, because from what I understand the Masters are the bad guys? Rape, mind-control, murder or whatever they want. I was going to ask why you uh. Don’t do something about them? Or, I guess expect us to do something about them?”
“The Masters are, unfortunately, a necessary evil,” Actress blew out a long sigh. “They’re bound in their Rules, which curbs some of the ‘whatever they want,’ and snuffs out the more overreaching megalomaniacal impulses. Pulls their attention away from the common mundane ‘mundle’ folk and towards their internal circle struggles, where they can do less harm.”
“Still, though—” Brian scowled.
“I know, I know,” Actress gave him a heavy shrug. “You’re never going to like it, but trust me—historically, the alternative is worse. Nature abhors a vacuum, so systems of power and hierarchies form whenever people who’ve come into magic meet. Often the orders that begin benevolent grow corrupt or splinter into petty squabbling tyrants over time, and on the other side of that coin? Even the most heinous of villains often has children and grows a conscience, or mellows out, grows soft with age. The Masters are bad guys, yes, but they spend a good deal of their time finding and snuffing out worse guys, and they do at least spend a significant deal of their effort towards preserving the… status quo, which allows most everyone else in the world to live normal lives.”
“Most everyone,” Brian said. “You mean, not counting whoever gets perverted into sex-slaves, or razzle-dazzled by mind control to—”
“Yes, not counting them,” Actress said in a flat voice. “Trust me, I get it. Jack spent most of his life running around and righting wrongs wherever he could find them, and the bitter, futile truth of it is that putting people back together is a lot more difficult than taking them apart is. Attempting to put people back together takes a certain toll on everyone involved, and new shitheads initiate themselves into magic and launch into their perverted power fantasies every month, just a little bit faster than we could respond to them. I understand on levels that you cannot begin to comprehend the actual cost of what trying to keep up with all of that will really do to you as individuals, to you as a family. A group. All to ‘fight the good fight.’”
“So, that justifies just… leaving the Masters be?” Brian kept his voice neutral even though his feelings about this felt like they were about to boil over.
“The alternative is worse,” Actress said again. “As they are, the Masters are at least… crabs in a bucket, preventing anyone from climbing up over them and becoming an even greater evil. They keep to their code—and, I think it’s their very wicked nature that makes them callous and indifferent to the sort of pain and personal cost we went through in trying to ‘fight that good fight.’ Running about to try to right every wrong exposed us to suffering and torment that was genuinely driving us right over the fucking edge. Even after just a few years of it, hah.
“The Masters, to them? It’s just another Tuesday. They show up, turn whichever offending idiot who broke the Rules into a blood smear or pile of stinking ash, and then paper all of the victim’s minds over with some flimsy fabrication of events. Or, just scrape all of the memories out and leave nothing, if they’re feeling lazy. The way they put people back together isn’t perfect—there’s cancer and a whole host of other diseases and disorders that crop up as a result—but it’s good enough, it’s effective, and as much as it really, truly, deeply pains me to say, they do a better job of it than we did.
“Simply because they don’t care, they don’t get personally invested, or sympathetic, or try their hardest to fix things the best way that they can, to make things right. The cost of keeping that up—of trying to—destroyed us, and it will destroy you. Maybe not immediately, but eventually, inevitably. Because, soaking up all of the suffering and despair of a new tragedy every month and failing to ever find a perfect fix will grind your group away and tear you apart. Trust me on that.”
“I… think I understand, and I do sympathize,” Brian said, feeling his throat go dry at all of the implications. “But, at the same time…”
“By all means, if you see evil right in front of you, do what you can about it,” Actress allowed her voice to soften. “Or, stake out a territory for yourselves, a safe haven. A sanctuary, or a domain of influence—that’s what we did. I’m just warning you. If you, well, cast about looking for trouble… the world has more problems than you have strength and sanity to deal with them. By several orders of magnitude. The Masters, and their Rules? Crabs in a bucket. A bucket that well, that goes around, collecting up the stray crabs as they appear.
“Do not, and I can’t stress this enough, do not get some righteous feeling and decide we would be better off without the bucket. We would not, in fact, be better off. Don’t try to tip the bucket over, don’t try to break it, don’t let your power get to your head and think you can be the unique special one to fix or improve the bucket. Leave the fucking crab bucket alone. Especially if you don’t fancy being pulled inside and becoming one of the crabs—because ninety-nine point nine nine nine times out of a hundred, that is exactly what will happen. Capiche?”
“I… think I do understand what you’re saying,” Brian said after some struggle. “Just, well. It’s hard not to feel like just being aware of the bad things they’re doing, the things they’re capable of—that I don’t then have a moral obligation to do something about it.”
“I completely appreciate that philosophy,” Actress sighed. “Achieving a balance between what you can do and what you should do—that’s something you have to discover for yourselves. I will tell you flat out, though. Whatever powers you have, or think you have, you are not capable of shouldering the burdens of the entire world. Attempting to do so will crush whatever shoulder put to the task, and that damage might not be something you can ever really recover from. Keep things simple, try to do lots of good in the world when and where you can. Trying to fix everything? Will squash, twist, and distort you into something else, entirely. Usually some kind of monster, which—amusingly enough, you do hear that there’s this phenomena where things in nature tend to evolve into crabs? Well, yeah. Most people who try to fix the world—save it, reshape it, whatever, they wind up as crabs in the Masters’ bucket, eventually. I don’t want that for Emily, and I don’t want that for you.”
“Okay,” Brian frowned. “Okay. This is all a lot to think about.”
“One last food for thought, then,” Actress finally said, looking Kelly and him over. “I know all this that I’m saying may seem a little… cold and overly pragmatic. If it was one of the others? Nurse, Author, Teacher? Flower? They might have sung a slightly more pleasing tune for you. In fact, at some point in the next year, I’d like to arrange a meeting between your little band of miscreants and Teacher, she can explain the unexplainable in ways I cannot. For a little bit of… context, I am Actress. I am Author’s twin sister, our whole thing with our group skewed towards certain drama tropes, and I was in fact the evil twin.
“Which gives me a certain allowance for being cold and pragmatic, I think!” Actress put on a gorgeous smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “In my time I have done things so unspeakable, so unthinkable that even the Masters would blush—I did them without regret or remorse, and if push comes to shove, I won’t hesitate to do whatever it is that I have to.
“My silly little Emily is an adult now, and she’s coming into her magic. I gift her the freedom to explore what that means on her own terms, and for her to go wherever her adventures might take her! But, if I find out that you fuck all of that up for her, Brian? Kelly? I promise you depths of hell beyond everything you can possibly imagine—and all of the crabs in the world, or even their fancy bucket will not save you. Are we clear on that?”
“I love her,” Brian answered without breaking eye contact with Actress. “Nothing you can do to me would be worse than something happening to Emily.”
“Hmm—I knew I always liked you,” Actress chuckled, the intensity of her smile dropping back down to one of fondness. “I really wanted it to be a group that centered around my Emily, you know? Have it be her thing. But, if it’s you at the center? Well. I feel like things work out even better, this way. Kelly? You look like you have something to say?”
“I love your daughter, too,” Kelly said, bristling with defiance. “I guess that normally in this situation, one would say they’ll do the best they can—but. I can do better than anyone else. My abilities have to do with glimpses of the future. So. You can be confident that with us, Emily could literally not be in better hands.”
“Oh yes, and you do have cause to be a little arrogant,” Actress winked. “But, my same advice applies even more to you. Flower, in our group? She was our hippie wonder child, she too could get little premonitions—feelings in her case, rather than hard facts. I’ll be the first to tell you nothing is infallible, and the future, or futures, are a very very very big thing for just one little itsy bitsy you to try to grapple with on your own. Don’t think you can shoulder the whole world, and don’t go trying to bite off more than you can chew. You will choke.”
“I understand that,” Kelly growled. “My future selves talk down to me all the fucking time, and I’m really starting to hate them.”
“Well, I can’t help you with that,” Actress chuckled. “Every one of us has our own burdens to bear, with our abilities. For a time after Jack died, I really lost the plot for a bit, you know? My own illusions started popping up here and there, showing me what I must have wanted to see. I suppose all I can say is to take care—anchor yourself in here to the present as much as you can. Until they arrive, think of the futures as just possibilities—just illusions.”
“That… can maybe help,” Kelly said slowly.
“Well anyways!” Actress put on a chipper tone. “That’s all, for now! I’d love to talk more, but I’m not even really here right now—I’m getting into that nice young woman Rebecca’s car over on the other side of the property, and it feels wretched trying to stretch magic any further than that. To everyone else, it appears that Dottie left with Katie, and is now listening to Katie complain and complain. Katie’s favorite pastime! Emily is headed back here to you. A few people have glanced over this way, but I made it look like you two were having a serious frowny-face heart to heart, so they would give you space. I’ll disappear, now! Ta-ta, my friends~!”
With that, the Actress standing in front of them slowly faded from view like a mirage, her smile lingering on in the air for a brief instant before vanishing along after the rest of her.
Try as he might, Brian reached out with his fumbling nascent sense for magic, but couldn’t grasp any difference between what was real and what had been Actress playing tricks with light and sound—either her work was too subtle, or she was just on another level and way beyond them. The bonfire clearing their couch was a part of had returned to normal, and just a scant few feet away from them now they could see that Will was sitting hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, listening intently as Becky and Tanya exchanged gripes with one another.
“Man, her being able to do that is… a little bit scary?” Brian muttered. “Her power is bullshit.”
“Yeah,” Kelly agreed. “But, like. What do you think?”
“About all of that?” Brian asked. “I can see where she’s coming from, I guess. I see both sides. On the one hand, it really fucking rankles just having the idea that the Masters or whoever else are out there, mind-raping people however they please. Or even just literally raping people. That’s not fucking okay, and I want to do something about it.”
“But, on the other hand?” Kelly quirked her head.
“On the other hand, the idea of putting you girls in danger?” Brian sighed. “Really scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to do that. At all. That line of thinking just makes me want to, I don’t know, stay in my lane. Keep my head down, or buried in the sand, or whatever. Ignore everyone else as a not my problem kind of thing. Cowardice or not—I really, really can’t fucking stomach the thought of anything bad happening to you, or to Stephanie. Emily, Christine. Rebecca.”
“Yeah,” Kelly nodded. “I uh. I never was trying to be a fucking superhero, or anything? Is that shitty of me? I’m just maybe not a great person. But then, also—it’s not even just up to me, anymore. Or even you, probably? Stephanie’s our moral compass, here. If she says jump, I’m gonna jump and then ask how high.”
“That’s a whole lot of stress to just heap onto her, though,” Brian said. “But, you’re maybe right. I’m uh. I’m not sure I can say no to her, if she decides we need to do something?”
“Yeahhhh,” Kelly chuckled. “Love’s fuckin’ scary. You know that?”
“A little,” Brian admitted. “Better than not having each other, though. By a longshot. No matter what, we all love each other, and we get like, bonus cool magic stuff. With the uhh, fly in the ointment there being that we also have to be aware that’s there’s some not-so-cool magic stuff going on, elsewhere. Some really not fucking cool stuff that maybe we’ll do something about.”
“She didn’t say we have to stay completely out of it,” Kelly pointed out. “She was saying, like, do it in moderation. I think. I got that vibe?”
“Yeah,” Brian said. “But, I mean. Right now, what can we even do—about anything? Christine’s not on the vampire magic, anymore. We can’t, uh. We can’t weave reality into huge illusions, like Actress apparently can. Even with you getting future Send stuff, it’s like… that barely levels the playing field? We’re still practically all normal, mundane humans, when it comes to how useful the rest of our powers are.”
“Christine can maybe still reflect magic?” Kelly winced. “Maybe.”
“But now, if they just like—pull out a gun and shoot her, then it’s over,” Brian reasoned. “Actually, that might have done her in last time, if they’d tried it? Since her regenerative stuff kicking in was what was uh, eating away at her vitality and pushing her towards full dead vampire. If they’d just shot her, that would’ve pushed her over that edge there, to where we can’t really bring her back with just kisses and well-wishes and wanting it really hard.”
“Maybe Emily’s thing will be more useful?” Kelly shrugged. “Or Rebecca’s. We should uh, we should probably get out of here, call it a night. Keep getting the urge to um, put my hands all over you, smother you with fucking kisses—gotta remind myself everyone can see. And, I’m supposed to be just Emily’s girl, right now.”
“We’ll give that some more time,” Brian said, rising up to his feet and then offering Kelly a hand. “We kinda did drop… a whole lot on the group here tonight all at once.”
“And then we got even more dropped on us,” Kelly scoffed, taking his hand and using him to pull herself up. “Well, whatever. We’ll fucking manage. Christ. I hope Candace isn’t like, another Actress proxy, or something. She seemed cool.”
“Shit, now it’s like I want to run everybody real close up by Christine, just to be sure,” Brian groaned. “You alright?”
“Nah,” Kelly gestured towards her head. “Migraine again. Still. From showing off. If I can make out with Emily for a bit our uh, magic will equalize it out a bit, and smooth my brain wrinkles some more. We need to maybe have you jizz into like a whiskey flask or something I can keep handy, though. For the future?”
“I’ll think about it,” Brian laughed, shaking his head. “Kelly?”
“Hm?”
“I, uh,” Brian sighed. “I was gonna ask if it’s cool if uh, tonight, like when we get back, if I can just spend some time with Christine? See how she’s doing, focus on her a bit. I’m kind of worried about her. After all of this with everyone, here.”
“Brian…” Kelly’s smile slowly grew wider until she was beaming at him, and she stepped forward to wrap her arms around him in a crushing hug. “I fucking love you. That’s a great idea, perfect. Brian? I want you to spit-shine and polish her fuckin’ mirror ‘til she stumbles out the other side ass-backwards and not knowing which way is even reverse, anymore.”
“Okay? I can—”
“I want you to fuck her stupid,” Kelly continued with a gleam in her eyes. “I want you to sexually shatter her. Fuck her silver, to little itty bitty pieces, fuck her so silly that she spends all day tomorrow with a big sappy smile on her face.”
( Previous, Everyone's Personal Business | After AnimeCon 2 | Next, Driving Back )
Comments
Kelarys
Was it assuming? I guess, but it seemed pretty clear to me that they all started at lvl 1, except Christine starting at like lvl 50/early mastery thanks to the blood path, and Rebecca starting at maybe lvl 5-10 due to her upbringing and instant compatibility, and otherwise they just all needed to keep gaining xp. We saw Stephanie distinctly level up her power multiple times after all. Brian got his level up right before the party started. I like that the blood magic path sets up an instinctual control over their powers because instinct is what that path is all about. And now on the love path, even though Christine KNOWS how it's supposed to feel, she still has no clue what she's doing. I wonder if this would been the same if her power wasn't so passively focused, but I'm confident even blood Christine wasn't even close to using it to its max potential. I just hope for Steph's sake that one of her next level ups is to make her power a bit more voluntary
Naiades Aqua
finally, getting into some Christine content :P
MVFast
I’m glad he’s let us know (instead of us just assuming) their power will grow. So far, it’s just “fun”, “appearance”, and light improvement to physical and mental health/well being.
mhaj58
Can’t wait to see what happens next, I imagine the next chapter will be called Christine’s Reward, broken down by Brian and the girls taking turns. We’re overdue for a sex scene anyway
sanityormadness
Emily was the first one to get zapped, when she handed the charm over to Brian in the first place, which was... what, a whole week before AC and Steph getting zapped?
MVFast
Happy birthday!
MVFast
THIS… Is why, broke as I am, I’m happy to pay!
Bryan Flynn
TFTC!
Toodles McGhee
Kind of wondering if Brian really is the "center" of the harem - he's got the magic juice, and I haven't gone back to check anything about Steph always being present as well, but she seems to be A central figure at least, if not THE center figure...
Zach
I mean, Brian wasn't trying to save the world from mundane and banal evils before Emily lent him a charm. Kinda silly of him to just think he's capable of saving the world from magical evils now the he has taken the 0th step into magic, without even thinking about the mundane evils.
Kuba4ful
Really liked the big chapters drop. It's also why I personally prefer having an entire chapter drop rather than in parts - more to read at once. Anyways, I'm a bit surprised Actress didn't mention anything about them curing Chloe off of the Blood path. If I remember correctly, she said that there's no (easy?) way out. Well the exact words weren't said I think, the chapter ended before she said that, and in the next Christine retold them the meeting with "healer people". Another thing I'm somewhat surprised about is that Brian didn't use this opportunity to ask Actress about how much does the charm influence them, especially since this is happening right after the Candace part. But well, in hindsight it is more in his character to ask about how to fight against Masters (protect what's dear to him and potentially play hero). Welp, I hope he gets to talk with her a bit more, after all they live pretty close to each other. That's totally not me just wanting to get more worldbuilding and exposition (definitely, and I definitely didn't enjoy the Akasha Records chapter a bit too much). Also happy (late) birthday!!
Chris Hodge
That was great man, loved it, and happy birthday!
Too Much Sanity May Be Madness
I have a feeling that Candace is going to become a part of the harem. 1. This timeline, where they saved Christine without huge losses, is pretty unique. The previous timelines may not apply. 2. There's already a precedent in the story for a harem member who only seems to exist in one timeline 3. If I could send back information to the past, nice surprises like a person you might fall in love with would be high on my list of "things that should stay a surprise."
AzureXIII
Thank you again and once again happy birthday and I can't wait for the next part.
Jeanie6754
Thanks for all the updates ☺️. Spend the rest of the night doing something for yourself.
Arcane Wolf
Really loving these additions. Honestly this made my day. Keep up the good work and have a good birthday!!!
Jacob Bissey
It's kind of a small hobby at least, if you're in the same state, odds are strong you're within a single degree of separation from literally everybody else in the hobby in that state, and possibly only like three degrees of separation from the whole country.
Jacob Bissey
I think this was my favorite chapter in awhile, like they've all been really good but this on just really catered to my tastes in particular. As a LARPer myself, I love hearing about the LARP stuff. Plus learning more about the magic system is always really nice! For anyone who is curious, I am fairly certain that the Lightning Bolt guy would have been using birdseed packets rather than beanbags, it's been awhile since I looked into it, but IIRC the game he was playing was a NERO derivative of some kind, and the standard for that style of LARP is birdseed. I think heavier contact games that derive from Amtgard usually use beanbags (don't quote me on that though, as I have considerably less experienc there), and it sounds like that's the style of game that Rebecca primarily plays, so it makes sense that she's default to that assumption. I also like hearing how different games handle holds and safety hazards. On the lightest touch end of things where I usually play a glasses hold is treated as a really big deal, everybody on the battlefield freezes because the glasses can go flying pretty far, I once had my glasses turn up a full fifty feet from where I was standing when they were knocked off, clear across the battlefield and into the woods past the treeline a bit, we were lucky to find them at all, and somehow still intact at that! I think the corner of the frames got hooked on the tip of the sword that knocked them off and wound up getting launched as the blade completed the arc, I don't even think contact was made with my face at all since I dodged back to avoid the wild swing.
Marcus Cassin
Hooray, a bit more of setting development and character development, mixed in with all the fun of the past few chapters. This has been amazing, thank you so much, hope you're having a great birthday. Oh, also, huge fan of Candice, hope we get to see more of her. Feel free to read that with a bunch of innuendo, or not. ;)
Marcus Cassin
Okay, I haven't even finished the chapter here, but... I once dated a girl who apparently was in the same LARP group as the famous lightning bolt guy. So every time I see that meme get referenced.... Just holy crap, small world. Thanks for the throwback. That was over 10 years ago now!
mhaj58
Really want to meet Actress group, nurse was very interesting and now we know that Emmys aunt is named Author. I wonder if she has her own children with a different focus
