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At the Albric Tor gate
🕑 Added 2018-04-26 03:11:41 +0000 UTC "SILENCE, the both of you!" Jimmy shrieked. "I've had all I can stand of your idiocy! As soon as I get loose, you will be rent asunder! I'll have your guts for garters and your skins for stockings!""Ach, now yer talkin like me Sal," Nero sighed.
"Shut up about your Sal!" Jimmy hissed. "You never should have married her, and you'd both be better off if you never came home."
"You need to calm down, mister," Angus grunted. "Here now, just take a look at this trim little schooner -"
"Stuff your stupid boats! Who in all the Netherhells puts tiny boats in bottles? It's ridiculous!"
"You can insult my partner and criticize his wife," Angus grumbled. "But I won't stand here and listen to you calumniate model ships in bottles. Grab his arm, Nero. I think it's time our guest had a little accident."
"Hold!" a sudden trio of Ixies called out. "We seek a reprehensible Tailipo. Knowest anything about this, yon pale Manx-cat?"
......
Percy bravely crept to the edge of the square, where he noticed a fox loitering suspiciously and dressed in a uniform similar to his own.
"Pssst, hey buddy," Precy nobly whispered as he slithered along the wall. "Where's the Vulpitanian Embassy?"
"How could you possibly not know that?" the fox whispered back.
"Er, that information is on a need-to-know basis," Percy courageously floundered. "And I didn't need to know before now."
"And why do you suddenly need to know all of a sudden?"
"I, uh, can't tell you."
"It checks out," the fox shrugged. "The new Embassy is is up Chalcedony Avenue. Straight down this way, turn left, take an immediate widdershins and then your second right and twenty-four doors from the turning, on the shady side of the street. You can't miss it."
......
"That's disgusting," one of the soldiers remarked.
"BEG PARDON," MacBrock bellowed sheepishly. "I THINK SUMMAT I ATE DINNA AGREE WI' ME."
"Couldn't have been this delicious pie," the soldier opined, taking another big bite.
......
Alice paused to consult her Pocket Guide to The Plan. It always pays to be careful! A mistake now could have disastrous consequences.
......
Suddenly Sergeant Avogadro rushed onto the stage and threw himself at my feet.
"Oh my icy beauty," he whimpered while clutching my ankles. "My lady, I am yours to command. Anything you wish, be it Seelie, Unseelie, or venery-related, I will do it without hesitation."
"Get zis sniveling sycophant off der stage!" SALV Chesswick exclaimed. "Haff you been usink der Viles on him? Because you know, Viles is verboten in zis competition!"
"No," I protested. "I mean, not intentionally .."
"Quit stalling!" someone in the audience called out.
"On to the next event!" another attendee yelled.
"Look, I told you people, the shipment of pies for the next event has been delayed!" Vulpsmarshal Sweetcheeks reiterated.
"No excuse!" another voice called out. "We've got pies! This is PieFight ValKon! Come on everybody - let 'em have your pies!"
The crowd was distracted from following through on this provocative invitation by a loud "YIPE!" from Fifi.
"SALV Fofox!" Alberta snapped. "Vhat did I chust say about Viles? You already missed out on der pie-dodgink. Do you vish to be disqvalified from der entire competition?"
"It's not my fault!" Fifi gekkered. "It's this crummy cheap costume! Why didn't hers break too? We got them from the same sleazy vendor."
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