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"Easy now,"
🕑 Added 2020-06-04 01:45:18 +0000 UTCI cautioned the trees via Elfmind. "Try not to kill them. I want them to return to their village with tales of horror. A few bruises and broken bones should suffice, then hustle them on home."
"Those three in the front who fell," I shouted. "Bring their bodies into the circle so that I may decide their fate."
The cultists dragged the unconscious rabbits into the clearing.
I pooked down to the ground and stood over the interlopers as I pondered what to do with them.
"Please be merciful," Rebecca whimpered. "That's my dad."
"I shall not harm him," I grumbled. "But he must be punished for daring to come here and interfere with my affairs."
But what would be the most appropriate punishment? My first inclination was to play some traditional elfly pranks on them: Stitch their pants legs together, fill their pockets with porridge, and paint ridiculous patterns on their faces, then dump them somewhere deep in the forest where they would wake up disoriented and confused.
But that might not impress my followers, who were quietly watching me to see what I would do.
Transmogrifying them all would be too much hassle, and besides - as in Oak's case, it might wind up not being much of a punishment.
Perhaps I should try to frame Jerry's shoe cult for this? If I put shoes on the intruders and sent them packing with shoe-related chants ringing in their ears, then they would be certain to misplace the blame for their misadventure. But then again, would that just wind up bolstering the shoe cult's reputation? A furtive glance revealed no shoes on any of the feet I could see, and I was not about to magickally create shoes. Doing so would be disgraceful! And it would no doubt be doubly unwise to involve my new cult in any shoe-related rituals, even for the sake of obfuscation. No, these people were here for the sake of HAIR (except for Rebecca, who had come for the sake of evil but didn't seem very committed to the idea.)
This still left me in a quandary though. What would be a suitable hair-related punishment? Baldness? A mullet? Dreadlocks? What sort of impression would it leave on my followers if they saw me giving someone a BAD hairdo? Even if that person was my enemy? But if I gave them glamorous hairstyles, would that not be seen as a reward rather than a punishment?
I had to do SOMETHING! My cultists were watching, and I could sense them starting to become restless.
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Comments
Gee, thanks for the pep talk.
Walter Reimer
I agree with Simone. A mullet would be a just punishment.
Simone Spinozzi
cursed with having to bear a bad hairstyle no matter what should be the right punishment. Careful or you might create a new trend... you need something impossible to love. <i>*punches palm of hand*</i> A MULLET! Gaining a mullet that you cannot remove or comb away. That should be the worst punishment ever for anybody. No way anybody would be able to love such an hairstyle. That should be a punishment enough.
