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"You can have your knives back if you behave,"
🕑 Added 2021-03-04 03:18:29 +0000 UTCI explained. "Now tell me how you survived and what is your purpose in coming here now."
"Nuh uh uh," Burnside taunted. "I already said I ain't tellin. You'll have to ravish me pretty hard to make me talk. And you better search me real good to make sure I ain't packin a spare blade someplace."
With an exasperated sigh I reached under her cloak and felt around for potential hiding places I might have missed.
"Oooh, yer gettin' warmer," she giggled.
After a few minutes I managed to find two stilettos, a dirk, and a thin rapier. "Is this all of them?" I asked.
"Yup," Burnside grinned. "I am completely unarmed. Elves don't lie. This means I am completely at your mercy and you can do with me whatever you will, you vicious brute!"
I must admit, searching her reminded me just how long it had been since I enjoyed any venery...
"Whew," Burnside sighed as we relaxed on the porch afterward. "You still got it, Adler darlin. I'm feelin' mighty talkative now."
"All right ... so how did you survive the Plague of Battles?"
"I don't rightly know," she murmured dreamily. "Me and Thomson jumped into the fray and we was a-hewin' foes right and left, havin' a big ol time, and then I reckon you must've deployed the Plague o' Battles. Still can't quite believe you actually done it. Twas wonderfully Unseelie of you."
"It was an accident," I insisted. "Go on with your story."
"Well there was a greenish fog and then MAN ALIVE! What a feelin! I went buck wild, just a-killin' everything in my path. Reckon that's the most fun I ever had in my life, right up until I blacked out. Don't recollect what happened, but I must've fell through a Gap because I woke up covered with gore in the top of a tree, and when I clumb down I was in the lowfolk world. I was right upset about that, and I'm afraid I wasn't very nice to the loggin' crew I ran into ... but the ones that lived took me to see the Duchess and we got it all sorted out in the end. She was mighty surprised to see me."
"Are you still working for her?" I asked nervously.
"Course I am, sugar," Burnside giggled. "I wasn't sure what had become of you, but I do declare I was tickled pink when she sent me here on this mission."
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Comments
Chris Shaffer
"That's my secret, Adler, I'm always murderous."
Major Matt Mason
Burnside gotta Burnside, I guess. :D
Walter Reimer
Exactly the kind of person you'd expect to shrug off a plague that makes you a homicidal maniac - because she already *is* a homicidal maniac.
Walter Reimer
"I wasn't very nice to the loggin' crew I ran into . . . " I can visualize that - and it'd make a great slasher movie.
Simone Spinozzi
oh... so burnside survived because she was always like that... uh... actually makes sense.
