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"Ah, excellent,"
🕑 Added 2022-07-07 00:17:28 +0000 UTCI beamed. "Tell me what you were able to learn about the elf currently going by the name of Ash Marten."
"Oh hes such a total bad-boi dreamboat," Angela sighed. "Did I tell U he likes wry toast with eggs and -"
"You did," I interrupted.
"Well he also has a different cravat -"
"For every day of the week, you told us that too."
"Hes got alot of dapper hats & teh tweed suit, totes handsome," Angela grinned. "He may be bad, but he has a since of style sew its ok. Also he has a tortured past. Teh world treated him rough & now he treats the world rough back! Sooo elfly!"
"Didn't you mention him having a collection of soggy old books?" I inquired, trying to steer her toward information that might be useful to me. "Are those books magical or elf-related? Did he get them from the Duchess's abandoned estate?"
"Squee!" Angela squealed. "He did! He did! Its knot just books from the Duchess tho. He takes any books about elves that he can find. He absolutely HATES teh idea of lowfolk knowing about elf lore. Hes even killed a few lowfolk for knowing 2 much. From what Ive herd, he just about blue a gasket win Percy's book was published, but after he actually red it, he calmed down alot. Im not sure Y he keeps teh other books hes taken instead of destroying them if he doesnt want teh lowfolk to read them. I think its Bcause hes homesick. He is such a tortured sole. OMG, so hawt!"
"Does Ash have any exploitable weaknesses?" I demanded, desperately trying to get information before Angela passed out from hyperventilating again. "What kind of organization does he run? Is it a crime syndicate? Is he just a broker? How much influence does he actually have? Is he really as dangerous as he wants me to believe?"
"Ohh Fuma!" Angela moaned. "Teh corners of my love trapezium R waging war 4 my heart! Oh what is a fare & fragile Ixie maiden 2 due?!"
Angela collapsed into my open hands and began violently convulsing and foaming at the mouth. Did the transmogrification I did on her to correct her deformity somehow scramble her brain? I would have to study her more closely sometime soon.
"I had no idea someone could get the Vapors this bad," Vernier stated with concern. "Goodness! If she keeps thrashing like that she's going to break her spine!"
"I'm pretty sure she doesn't have one," I reassured her. "Ixies have exoskeletons. I think." Just in case I was wrong about that, I whispered a Gramarye to calm Angela down. She fell asleep almost instantly, and I placed her carefully in a tuft of grass on the side of the central dolmen. I made a mental note to ask the other Ixies if Angela had been like this before she was transformed.
Speaking of which, where were they? It was getting late, and I wanted Vernier to be home before dark. The stone circle was eerily quiet without the noise of bets being called out.
"Get up," I said, as I poked Burnside with my toe. "Since the Ixies haven't returned, I need you to escort Vernier home. Make sure she arrives SAFE and UNHURT, then come back here."
"That's no fun," Burnside muttered drowsily.
"You are free to harm any Bunkirk rabbits who cross your path."
"Now yer talkin!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "Come on, gal. Let's get you home."
As Burnside and Vernier rustled away through the undergrowth, I knelt beside Rebecca to offer her further mentoring about the Foxspell.
"We're all alone now, my lord," she grinned. "Is it time to teach me about Honoring the Lady?"
"GUH," she added, before I could respond. A tiny bell tinkled somewhere nearby.
ELFSHOT!
It took me but a split second to realize that somebody had elfshot my student. Rebecca slumped, drooling, onto the grass as I bounded to my feet and whipped my bow out of Elfintory in one single instantaneous motion.
"WHO'S THERE?" I demanded. "SHOW YOURSELF!!"
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Comments
Heck, her heart probably RUNS on vapors!
With how often she gets "the vapors", I'm surprised Angela's heart hasn't given out yet.
Walter Reimer
Sniper!
