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"Let's see,"
🕑 Added 2023-02-23 03:15:27 +0000 UTCI mused, grateful for the momentary distraction. "When you passed out, you were giving a lecture on how to be Unseelie -"
"That's right!" Burnside exclaimed. "I was teachin' them witches how to do things proper! Where'd they all go? I reckon my lesson must've been too advanced for them. Well, the rabbit witch is still here an' if she's gonna be learnin' elf-stuff there's no time like the present. We'll get her turnin' people inside-out in no time. So, to access the guts there's three main points of entry: the mouth, the belly button, and the -"
Rebecca clutched her ears and started humming loudly.
"All right, stop that!" I ordered. "Class is over. You missed it. No teaching now! Rebecca's lessons will resume later. It's been a long day for everyone and there is still work to be done. I need to send messengers to ask for an audience with Oak Marten, for one thing. Rebecca, you may take a break for a few minutes."
As the rabbit femme strode a short distance away and sat down on the grass, I sent Burnside a message via Elfmind: "I need your help testing a few theories." Then I added, aloud, "now get serious and quit goofing around."
"But I'm aimin' to be a fan favorite," Burnside protested.
"What?" I retorted.
"Way I see it," she explained. "You're the last livin' scion of Irenaeus. No matter whether you succeed or screw up somethin' terrible, someday somebody's gonna tell your life story in the form of an epic ballad. Course I'll be part o' that ballad. Now, I got my work cut out for me to make sure that the potential listeners find me engagin' an' endearin. Play my cards right, I might even get me a spin-off ballad! Just imagine it! 'The Lay of Burnside' or somethin' like that."
"You might rate a nursery rhyme," I theorized. "Or maybe a sea chanty."
"Gonna be a heroic epic," Burnside insisted.
"Who'll be the hero of it though?" I quipped. "Surely not the Raccoon Monster. Just go wait by the dolmen. I'll be with you shortly."
"I'm only givin' the theoretical audience what they probably want," she grumbled as she stomped off toward the center of the stone circle.
Why did I have to always be surrounded by crazy people? I shook my head and summoned an Ixie.
"I need a detachment to deliver an invitation to Oak Marten," I instructed her.
"Most of us are escorting the witches home, Sire," she respectfully informed me.
"Well, this is the next mission when they get back. Tell Oak I'd like to reimburse her for her service and see if she is still interested in working for me. I'm also willing to make amends for the blow to the Marten family's reputation and finances which they suffered because of me. I'll need to see her and discuss all of this face-to-face. I will reimburse her for any expenses incurred on the journey, and if she needs money up front I can figure out how to have some sent to her. Naturally you Ixies will escort her here for her protection on the road."
I also needed to warn her not to trust Ash without the trees finding out, but of course I did not say this part out loud.
"It shall be done," the Ixie declared with a snappy salute before she buzzed away into the brush. I liked how professional they were starting to be!
I walked over to where Rebecca was calming herself with some sort of deep breathing exercises. As I got closer, I could hear her saying "ummm" over and over.
"Can't think of what to say?" I interrupted gently. "That's okay. You should know that you don't have to try to impress me. Just do what comes naturally. With that said, I need to discuss something with you."
"My Lord," Rebecca said, opening her eyes and turning toward me, "if this is about honoring the Lady, I apologize, but hearing the Raccoon Monster talk about turning people inside-out has put me in a really yucky frame of mind. The mood is totally gone."
"Er, uh, no," I floundered. "Not about that. When Didelphis was browbeating me earlier, I heard you call out to me through Elfmind."
"You what??" Rebecca exclaimed.
"What???" Burnside yelped from where she had been eavesdropping behind me.
"Like, what?" Angela Weakflit yawned as she flitted up to us. "What did I miss? I just woke up, LOL."
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>Adler: Hey! You told Burnside to go wait by the dolmen! >Burnside: You did. You waited for a moment, then you decided to follow him. >Adler: And to Angela, what does she mean she just woke up? Has she been sleeping through her duties? >Angela: No. You were in the infirmary recovering from your vapors attack. >Adler: It took her an entire day to recover? >Angela: Yeah. Sometimes it takes longer. >Adler: . . . Okay, yeah. This is a serious problem that needs to be dealt with. You add that to the "deal with it immediately" list. You instruct Angela to go wait with Burnside by the dolmen. And by that you mean, "wait there until you say otherwise!" Burnside can fill Angela in on what's happened so far. >Burnside: But you were unconscious through most of it. >Adler: Well, then she can just tell Angela what she does know. Now, if they don't mind, you are trying to have a conversation with your pupil. >Rebecca: Uhhhhhh, he said you used elfmind? That's how elves magically talk without speaking, and how Adler can read minds. >Adler: Correct. When Didelphis was ranting at you, you heard Rebecca call out to you, "My Lord, you're losing them!" She somehow managed this through elfmind. >Rebecca: Well, you could tell that the rest of the coven was losing interest and having second thoughts, you wanted to warn him, but interrupting would have made everything worse. Is that something lowfolk can do? >Adler: Uh, is it? You know lowfolk can learn magic, but you just assumed elfmind was exclusive to elves. It is called "elfmind" after all. "Lowfolkmind" doesn't really roll off the tongue and "Folkmind" sounds like a band that plays psychedelic folk music. >Rebecca: How were you able to? Adler hasn't trained you in that and the book you read didn't explain how to do it. >Adler: You have two theories, but both of them are very unlikely. If Rebecca really did have a religious vision, and not just a fever dream, where she was visited by both Fuma and Saint Reynard, it could be that the ability was bestowed upon her by holy edict. That would also explain how she is picking up on everything else so quickly. >Rebecca: Being handpicked by both a goddess and a saint does sound pretty nice, but what is his other theory? >Adler: Your other theory, and please keep in mind that this is VERY unlikely, is that she is a changeling. >Rebecca: A changeling?? >Burnside: A changeling?? >Angela: CHANGELING!! It's fun to shout! >Adler: HEY! You told them to wait by the dolmen! >Burnside: You are waiting by the dolmen. You can still hear them. It's not like either of them were whispering.
Oh no. Burnside's become self-aware.
