Agrippa
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All Right! Fine! I’ll Take You! – Yui’s Lily Garden – Chapter 10
🕑 Added 2023-07-24 18:55:07 +0000 UTCThis is a familiar staircase.
I sometimes heard Hikky mutter something about familiar ceilings after waking up from one of his impromptu naps in our club—not that I was watching him sleep or anything! I mean, that would be creepy, and he is the creepy one. And gross. And a lust-fueled womanizer who should not have, ever, called me a slut. So, yeah, if anything, he would be the one creepily watching me sleep.
Not me.
I would never do that.
Not creepily, at least.
…
Yukinon doesn’t count. She’s my girlfriend. I’m expected to watch her cute sleeping face and wonder what kind of noise she would make if I woke her up by—aaaaaahhhh!
Anyway! A familiar ceiling! That’s a very weird thing to say, so it stuck with me, and now I’m watching a gray tile with a single splotch of dried white paint right under the wall farthest from me, and this is a familiar staircase because it’s one in my high school, and I go through it most days, but also…
“So… You… Is everything going well?” Yumiko asks me while refusing to meet my eyes, blushing like Saika does when he’s messing with Hikky, and pushing me against the wall behind me.
With one hand on each of my shoulders.
Thankfully, she hasn’t slammed an open palm right by my face, because I don’t know how I would’ve reacted to that.
“Yumiko, really?” I ask the girl visibly about to lose her nerve.
“I… what do you mean?” she says, still looking to the side, as if checking nobody is going up the stairs before she—nope. None of that.
I have a girlfriend!
… Shut up, Hikky. You’re the one who insisted that Yukinon and I should be monogamous.
“Are you really… Did you drag me here just to gossip about my sex life?” I finally say sternly enough that I should not be thinking about riding crops.
Shut up, Hikky.
“S—s—se—sex life?!” Yumiko asks.
I… blink at her.
At the blushing, stammering girl who looks the furthest she can be from the ice queen she likes to pretend to be.
And I now remember just how our latest conversation went.
… Is this my life now? Am I doomed to instruct all my female friends about sex, and their bodies, and how perfectly natural masturbation is? Am I going to have to round them all up to give group lectures rather than the individual tutoring Yukinon gets? Is this really—wait. No.
I definitely know of at least one frie—acquaintancethat doesn’t need any lectures about sex.
Damn it, Iroha…
“Hey, no need to be so nervous,” I tell Yumiko as I gently press her right hand against my shoulder, tracing the back of it with my thumb until her scared eyes look back at me and away from the deserted stairs.
I smile at her, warmly and gently, like I did with Sable when he was a little puppy that still didn’t know us, and he got scared by a storm.
It… apparently works, because Yumiko’s cheeks go from red to pink, and she lets go of one of my shoulders.
“Sorry. It’s… It’s all so new to me…” she says.
“Yumiko… You already knew that people have sex, didn’t you?” I ask with just a bit of a frown because I’m not dealing with a second Yukinon—phrasing!
“I—yes! Of course! But it’s just… it’s something that adultsdo. And nobody I… none of my friends have ever… you know,” she finishes, her head hanging down until the taller girl has to look up at me through golden bangs.
… Cute.
“I don’t get Hayama,” I say.
“What?”
“Yes. What. That’s the only thing I can think about him. How is he—you are cute. Adorable. I want to wrap you in a tight hug until your ear tips burst into flames and you stammer on the verge of a panic attack! I want to watch you perform each and every single one of your attempts at coming off as aloof and dignified before melting into a puddle of overwhelmed, helplessly clueless affection. Damn it, Yumiko, you know I have a type; stop doing your best Yukinon impression!”
“Wha—what?!”
“And Hayama? He had both you and Iroha after him, and he’s still a virgin? Is he asexual? Gay? Is everything up till now just part of his plan to get in Hikky’s pants? How has he not taken you by your waist, slammed you against a wall, and—”
“What! What!”
“—just shown you how utterly desirable you can be when—”
Huh.
There’s a palm over my mouth.
And a blushing blonde in front of me.
…
As it turns out, spending the night with Yukinon hasn’t made my libido any more manageable.
Or, as it also turns out, it may have made it worse.
… I’m not about to cry. Really. Sable, your mistress isn’t such a crybaby. I’m still the same brave, big girl who defended you from the scary thunder despite being pretty terrified myself.
…
Is she gonna do something other than stand in front of me, staring wide-eyed at—
She isn’t going to kiss me, is she?!
“I have a girlfriend!” I yell into Yumiko’s now surprised face as soon as I tear her hand away from my mouth.
She blinks at me.
Then blushes harder.
“Is… I… I know, so why are you saying all those things about—”
“Because they are true! And friends should be truthful, or they end up in messy love triangles in which every one of them has to keep guessing what the other is thinking until the self-sacrificing moron does something dramatic and unnecessarily flashy just to keep the friendship going despite everything else that could’ve happened if only he hadn’t been… him,” I say.
Calmly.
And clearly only saying things I meant to say.
… My cheeks are on fire, and this is not because Yukinon has gotten her hands on a riding crop.
“Everything else that would—are you saying you wanted… both?”Yumiko asks in what looks pretty much like scandalized delight before her blush darkens once more, and the upward quirk of her lips melts into shock.
I tilt my head to the right in a way I’ll never confess I copied from Sable.
“Yumiko… I’m going to ask something, and I want you to answer without yelling or fainting,” I tell her, already fearing the answer.
“Wha—fainting?”
“Do you masturbate?”
Her eyes bug out.
Her hand on my shoulder first clutches me and then snaps right away.
And her mouth moves without making sounds.
Oh, dear.
“Look, it’s… it’s a natural thing to do, and sometimes you fantasize about things that you may or not want. Many girls have touched themselves thinking about being… well, forcefully taken, but that doesn’t mean they would like it if it actually happened. That’s one of the good things about doing things by yourself and just… It’s safe. It’s how you learn about your body, about what you like or dislike, so that, one day, when you and your lover are ready, you can share things without fumbling unnecessarily or going through painful things that you could’ve avoided. So, Yumiko, I just want you to…”
She’s still gaping at me.
I think I’ve broken her.
Which is utterly unfair because this is the second time I’ve given this particular lecture in two days, and it’s taking a lot out of me not to sway in place, and, on second thought, the wall behind me feels nice and cool, so I think I’ll just slide down until I’m sitting on the floor, and…
And now I’m breathing.
All right.
It’s… everything is all right. I haven’t said anything worth feeling embarrassed about. I’ve just told Yumiko some things that should already be common knowledge, and why isn’t it common knowledge—
“I have,” a tiny, squeaky voice mutters in front of me.
And I force my eyes up from my bare knees peeking from under my skirt to see an embarrassed blonde crouching down in front of me as if to stare right down into my eyes even as she once again stubbornly looks toward the deserted stairs.
“You have?” I ask. Just for clarification and not because I’m relieved at the world at least making this much sense.
I was starting to wonder if Mister Chuuni had the right of it, after all…
Yumiko quickly looks at me, blushes harder, and looks away.
Okay.
So I sigh and straighten at least a little bit, trying to think where to go from here—
“It’s… just a few times. And I… I don’t know if I did it right, because when you read stories, you’re supposed to be feeling all those fireworks, and I… it’s not like it felt bad, but I didn’t faint or anything close, and… And then I finished, and I felt a bit guilty, and gross, and sweaty, and I don’t even… how do you know if you’re normal and not…”
Damn it.
Okay. Okay, apparently, not everybody can have their own Mama not make a mess of this particular part of their upbringing. And, well, it’s not like teaching—
Thoughts about Yukinon hungrily looking up at me while I wear a tight black pencil skirt are not welcome right now.
Later.
Much later.
“It could be a lot of things,” I say, straightening up and taking her hand between mine until she relaxes and her fingers soften on my palms. “There’re no right answers and only very few wrong ones. It could be that you weren’t in the right mood, that your body wasn’t ready for it, that you were expecting too much and got in your own way… This is why exploring is such an important part of the whole thing, Yumiko. You need to learn not only what feels good but that you can feel good. That you’re allowed to. It’s your body, and only you decide what happens to it.”
“But… But if Hayato…” she says with a little thread of voice that makes my heart melt.
“If you and Hayama ever do take that step… He needs to know it’s because you want it. Only if you want it. And you can want to let him take the reins, to lose yourself, but only when you’re very, verysure of things. Explore first, both by yourself and with your partner.”
“And you… you have…?”
I lick my lips a bit nervously and take a deep breath that, somehow, ends with Yumiko staring a bit below my neckline.
Damn it.
Allegedly straight girls will be the end of me.
“I… I don’t want to get into too many details before knowing if Yukinon is all right with me sharing, but… We did some things. And it was… It was wonderful, but only because we love one another and respectone another. If you don’t feel that? If you have doubts or fears? You need to talk about those before doing anything else.”
“Why—how do you know so much about this?”
“Mama is a nurse,” I say with a shrug.
And pretend that’s the whole of it.
“Your mother taught you—”
“My Mama taught me about sex, about my own body, and about plenty of things that I’m now realizing many parents don’t teach their children. And, if Yukinon and I ever adopt, I’m going to get a notebook and ask her to teach me how to teach my own children because this is necessary, and I won’t let her grandkids go through the trauma some girls I know have.”
Yumiko blinks at me.
Then looks down at her hand, still between mine.
And, for some reason, she smiles in that way she rarely does if she thinks somebody is looking at her.
“You’re amazing, Yui,” she says.
“… I have a girlfriend,” I lamely answer.
Which, for some reason, makes her look up from our hands, blink repeatedly, look back at our hands, and quickly take hers away to cradle it against her chest.
“I—I didn’t mean to—!”
And I hug her.
“I have a girlfriend. And a great friend. And, if you’d been a lesbian, I may have fallen for you, but I’m really glad I didn’t.”
The girl draped over me after losing her balance stiffens before slowly returning my hug.
“I would have. If I was,” she whispers. “But I’m glad I haven’t.”
“Yet,” I say with an impish grin and a lot of Mama in my tone.
This, somehow, ends with a flustered Yumiko batting at my shoulder and struggling to get away from my hug as I laugh in a way I hadn’t since Hikky and Yukinon got caught up in that speech Haruno threw at us.
Because she’s my friend, and that’s worth a lot more than many people think.
***
“I… need to do something today,” Yukinon says.
Apparently, that’s enough to make me do a full Sable pout, because she giggles behind her bent finger and stands up to pat my shoulder.
The red sun is behind her, the club room empty, just for the two of us, as Hikky is presumably doing Hikky things with his new harem.
And many, many thoughts rush through my head, both about what those things could be and about how far Yukinon would be willing to go while inside the school.
Half of them are very nice thoughts, the other half are just confusing enough that I don’t want to think them.
Particularly the ones involving Iroha.
“So… I know it’s not usual, but… but we’ve spent the past two nights together, and I… you know…” I say, trying not to fidget, blush, or look away from gorgeous, sky-blue eyes.
And failing miserably at the three things.
“I… I don’t want to impose,” she says, the tone warmer than the stiff wording implies.
“You’re always welcome in my house. You know that Mama—”
“Yui, I can’t move into your house—”
“Says who—”
“Common sense.”
“And since when do we care about that?”
She arches a Yukinoshita eyebrow at me, pretending that’s answer enough.
And I grab her lapels and drag her down to me so I can kiss her as hard as I want to.
She staggers, and I push forward until the back of her knees hits her chair, her legs bend, and I end up sitting on top of her, my thighs on each side of hers, something behind my navel burning as I keep taking her lips until she gasps against me and I take the opening to thrust my tongue into her mouth, licking her, tasting her, feeling all that Yukinon can give me and most of the things I will take from her as my heart hammers in my chest and something roars in my ears until the red sun fades away and there’s only Yukinon, the girl I love, under me, her eyelids quivering, almost closed, just a hint of sky-blue showing through the fading slit about to close entirely as I grab her nape and make her moan.
“Mine,” I say, allowing her to open her eyes back and look up at me in disheveled wonder. “You’re mine, and you will sleep where and when I tell you to.”
“Wha… I…”
“Mine,” I growl as I dip down to nip on the left side of her neck, her back arching when she answers with a muffled yelp that softens into a low purr when I lick up toward her ear just so I can warmly whisper: “You will sleep If I let you.”
Her hands tighten on my back, clawing at me through my jacket, and we’re wearing too many clothes for this, whatever this is, because I’m about to—
Uh.
About to respectfully back away and wait for my girlfriend to compose herself so she can tell me what she’s comfortable with and what her boundaries are.
Damn it, Yumiko…
“Yu… Yui… I…” she says.
“Don’t. I’m sorry, I… I got carried away. I won’t pressure you, Yukinon; it’s just—no. No, that’s wrong. I won’t pressure you. That’s it. Full stop. There’s nothing that goes after that line.”
She looks up at me, her back arched so that her breasts are thrust toward me, her eyes open, her hair streaming down behind her in a cascade of black locks shimmering with red sunlight.
… This is very, very hard. I’m just glad I don’t have a penis.
…
I don’t know where that came from, but I’m going to stuff it inside a mental box until I’m alone, my bedroom door is locked, and Sable has had his evening walk.
“I could—” she says.
“You could keep being my perfect girlfriend and do absolutely nothing that you aren’t comfortable with,” I say, cutting her off with a fierce glare the likes of which can keep at bay a German Shepherd.
Okay, just one German Shepherd, and, admittedly, Lucy is a sweetheart, but I didn’t know that the first time that she came running right at Sable, so it still counts.
And, in the face of my most fiercest of glares, Yukinon… smiles.
“I don’t deserve you,” she says, her right hand lightly teasing up my spine before her fingers slowly spread across my bare nape.
“I don’t,” I answer, suppressing the shudder of delight at her deliberate caress. “So I’m very glad this isn’t about deserving anything.”
Her smile softens, something warm behind her eyes making the blue sky in them brighten.
Then she drags me down into a soft, slow kiss that lasts until the time the club is supposed to close.
And just a bit extra.
***
Yukino
My lips feel raw.
I should start wearing Chapstick.
Or, at least, carrying it for occasions such as Yui once again proving to be somebody beyond what I can handle, which, if current trends hold, will be each and every day of the rest of my life.
I almost stumble at the surprising thought, at the intrusion of a prospective happiness lasting that long.
Then my etiquette training takes over, and I keep walking down the grey sidewalk with a purposeful stride, my face as impassible as ever except for the tingling warmth on my cheeks.
A warmth that lingers until I reach my apartment building, and I can see how the tingling translates into a pink hue on my cheeks in the mirror in front of me.
And this… This is the Yukino she sees. The one she claims to love. The one defenselessly looking up at her when she throws her feelings at me, and I feel like my heart isn’t big enough to accept all of them, no matter how much I want to—nor how much I fear to.
Because I…
I’m a mess.
I’m broken.
I’ve… For most of my life, I struggled to live up to somebody else. Somebody I thought I loved more than anybody else. Somebody that was both a goal and an ideal.
But maybe not a person.
Not… Not with how I felt when I walked in on her, drunk on my sofa, crying her heart out.
Not with how little I understood when my sister claimed I was better than she was at being loved.
The elevator door hums open, and I turn my back on the Yukino in the mirror to get to my apartment.
To where my sister now lives.
I’ve thought about what I will say. About what I want to say and what I need to say.
I know most of it is useless, that my sister will make a mockery of each and any plan I can come up with.
But…
But I also know that she’s…
That we’re a mess.
That we’re broken.
But Yui has taught me… that’s no reason not to be loved.
Comments
Agrippa
Poor, poor Yumiko wasn't ready for this XD
DC2008
All the feels!
