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Update: December 31st, 2018
🕑 Added 2019-01-01 05:05:41 +0000 UTC
Greetings, mortals! It is I, Izzy!
The birth of a new year is almost upon us, signaling yet another successful rotation of our moist dirt clod around its eternal adversary; that flamey death orb we call "the Sun"!
This shall mark 2019 rotations (at least since we started counting) that that worthless fart ball has failed to pull us into its molten embrace, it's impotence on full display for all to see. Some might say that the point has been proven, and that the last 1000 cycles or so were basically just victory laps. But "nay" I say! Those fools do not know the Sun like I do. They fail to understand that, unless its will is continuously broken, and its self-worth as a celestial body shat upon, that vindictive bitch shall rise up and roast this planet like high school girls commenting on that one Facebook photo of you where you were wearing a bikini and you actually thought you looked pretty cute, but then they point out that there's a bit of toilet paper stuck to your butt and now you have to delete your entire account and assume a new identity in Northern Saskatchewan.
It's happened before. Or have you already forgotten that Earth once had FOUR moons?! They were quite beautiful. Dorvas, Gormli, and the Smooth Taste of Charleston Chew. This was back when gum companies basically owned all of space, you see. But sadly, we all forgot to cheer "Happy New Year" at the stroke of midnight, and their majesty was soon consumed by its wrathful conflagrations.
This is why we must remain ever vigilant, and on this night each year, party like it's 1999, but not actually 1999. It's 2018. Just wanna make that clear, cuz if you get it wrong, you know, burny sky death happens. So go out there and have a good time, but not such a good time that you forget the very important steps to keep us all alive! Happy New Year!
Other than that, I've been home for a couple days, quietly editing SAOA 14. It's been a good time. Very peaceful.
Thank you all so much for watching our content and supporting us. It's been another great year, and none of it would have been possible without you guys. I hope you all have a lot of fun tonight, and here's hoping 2019 is our best year yet!
Happy New Year,
Izzy
Comments
Snowman
Happy New Year to you and yours at something witty entertainment
Snowman
LONG LIVE SAOA AND LONG LIVE SOMETHING WITTY ENTERTAINMENT
Artur Artborg
Happy New Year's, you guys! Looking forward to another somewhat witty year <3
