SWE
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Update: April 2024
🕑 Added 2024-04-02 01:10:32 +0000 UTCTL;DR
-MHAA 4 Editing: 60%
-MHAA 5 Scripting: 5%
-SAOA 18+19+20 Recording: Kirito 50% recorded
-SAOA 18 Editing: 10%
L;R
Greetings friends,
This is probably going to be the hardest thing we've ever had to write. It is our sad duty to inform you that Canadian superstar Ryan Reynolds has bested us in single combat, and by Canadian law, has now taken possession of all of our holdings. This, of course, includes the Something Witty channel and all associated products. HE TOOK OUR TIKTOK, Y'ALL!!!
We knew this would happen. We flew under the radar for so long. We got complacent... We got sloppy...
The second we hit 1 million subscribers it activated his tracking beacon... and he had us...
We got away with it for a while. It's been a nice year. We guess he was busy with other things, like Deadpool 3, or his football team, or his wife and kids. We don't know. All we knew was that our time was up, because 3 days ago, he showed up at our doorstep wielding the legendary blade, 楓丸, bathed in Aviation Gin and set ablaze, as is tradition.
Our path was clear, and our fates were sealed.
Izzy put up a valiant effort, but he is, of course, dead. Before he could even finish saying "Holy shit! Are you Ryan Reynolds?" he was cleft in twain by the fiery, ginny, sword. But even this was only the beginning of Mr. Reynolds' path of destruction. He set his sights on Mackaroni next, slicing his body into a sashimi so fine, the greatest sushi master, Morimoto Sushi Master (now available to stream on Roku), would weep in ecstasy at its beauty. He shot Carrie.
Luckily for us, it seems Ryan Rodney Reynolds merely wanted to claim Something Witty for his own; not destroy it. He has had us continue to work on our shows from beyond the grave, for as we all know, he is the world's foremost expert on the dark art of warlockery, and we're all very happy in our new skeletal prisons. We no longer have to eat OR sleep! It's basically a dream come true. Unfortunately, he has chosen to exert his not-insignificant power to do a total recast. And so, in Hollywood tradition, all parts will now be taken up by Chris Pratt. His audition consisted of him saying "It's-a me, Kirito.", and everyone clapped. Under penalty of death.
Honestly, we're looking forward to entering this new, necromancy-filled chapter of Something Witty Entertainment. Oh right. Our Dark Lord Reynolds has also graciously decided to change the name of the company to Something Ryan Entertainment. So, please join us in swearing our immortal fealty to the Wicked Lich of the North. Here's to 11 years of SWE, and 1000 years of darkness!
Blood for the blood god, skulls for the skull throne,
SRE
P.S. He's shown great interest in Smartphone 2~
P.P.S. Chase and Spencer are still on the run. Sources say they were last seen holding hands as they descended into the catacombs of Paris. Don't worry. Big Papa Ry-Ry is on their trail. He'll bring them kicking and screaming into the fold!
P.P.P.S. Hope y'all had a good Easter! Necromancers love Easter <3
Comments
Alfred
I'm reading this in May and you scared the shit out of me.
Michael Fannon
Smartphone 2? Yes please. And if this is an April fools joke... well, good thing you are already undead.
daniel mariano
The Magnum Opus is back. Our wish has been granted! PRAISE THE SERPENT! (those who know, know)
Admiral
Necromancers love Easter? Lmao
Purple Potato
I myself am looking forward to the newest rendition of SAO abridged abridged from our lord and savior, The Lich of the North.
Daryl Sawyer
It's a Canadian Zombieland Saga, only with parody video makers instead of idols.
AverageDemonLord
I was laughing till the tease about Smartphone 2. Cruelest April Fools Joke ever.
Konrad Curze
I love that the sword translates to "Maple Syrup" (I think? Double check me on that)! Love you guys so much hahaha
Julian
Smartphone Episode 2?????
Kai Mercer
"P.S. He's shown great interest in Smartphone 2" All hail something Ryan entertainment
