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Chapter 143 - City Lord

🕑 Added 2021-02-10 14:10:12 +0000 UTC

Comments

Loipers

Cloud elemental, crying raindrops: "Noooo! You're an archer, you can't just use magic spells from another archetype!" Jake: "Haha mana bolt goes brrrr"

Crepusculum

I can't help but feel that Hawkie has either an baby mama, as that would explain why he would disappear upon hours of the day, or jake entirely misinterpreted Hawkie's Gender and it's the baby mama itself.

Mothy

He'll likely be forced to eventually. His role in the city is a protector, but it's not yet big enough to be approached by serious threats. Once it is, though, his position will be become more clear and active.

Grevis165

Neat stuff! I just hope this story doesn't become a highly-detailed city building simulator. Like the viper, I'm not one for the little and intricate details and would just rather see/reap the rewards of it going up :-)

Zogarth

I did a bit of cleanup here and there.

Daniel

When does Race: [Human (E)] transition to D? Level 100? Lots of instances of "had" in this chapter, frequently used in the same sentence. Or back to back sentences. I'd suggest in many cases you could remove it without impacting the narrative, and probably help the story flow better. For example this part, where "had" is not needed. There was a heavy use of "it" too which I think made it not read well. Jake had used Identify on it on their way to their little island and seen that their struggles had paid off for it. It had gained yet another level in only one fight. Jake used Identify on it on their way to their little island, and noticed their struggles paid off. Hawkie gained yet another level in only one fight. 11 instances of "also", most of which I feel could be removed and again help the flow.

Damian

They will be evil!

Damian

EVIL

Luke Scheffe

Are the trees on the clouds actually trees, or just crystal formations that look like trees? because if they're the first, he better try and find some seeds, so that he has a chance to grow his own cloud lands.

MahoganyWood

Thanks for the chapter

Viria

I hope he'll reach the next level threshold before more people arrive. I want to see the magic related skills he'll get after going brrrrrrr with Mana bullets in the sky.

Im the smallest peach

Fingers crossed for more people next chapter

Zogarth

Fixed. Also, saw that quick edit :p

Elmhedera

...any intention of [going >> doing] so. ...only showed 4 as [-it-], for some reason, the system didn’t count the masked man.

Zogarth

Changed it to perched (was the intended word), but thanks for pointing it out anyway!

Zogarth

Fixed

Zogarth

Fixed.

userunfriendly

It hadn’t even bothered to perk itself on the crystal tree behind them, too exhausted to care about its dignity. It hadn’t even bothered to PERCH itself on the crystal tree behind them, too exhausted to care about its dignity.

TheCommensuratePup

I really hope he gets more involved in the city in the future. It would be kinda lame if he just showed up only to fight and never do anything else with it.

kataklyst

perk -> perch

Corwin Amber

thanks for the chapter. I suspect they'll be nice, or Jake will remove them and their replacements will be nice lol :) 'and sour downwards' sour -> soar

Connor Bruha

Thanks for the chapter!

BlackRazaras

Thanks for the chapter


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