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🕑 Added 2021-11-23 07:29:13 +0000 UTCMade this yesterday and had to post it immediately so didn't get a chance to share it with you first.
It's so weird. This is my first experience with death of someone so close to me. I've lost my paternal grandparents but never felt much about their deaths. I only got to see them a couple times anyway. My maternal grandparents died before i was born. My mother never got to see her mother because of something that she isn't ready to disclose to me. My mother has lived an intense life and she's come so very far. I wish I could tell her how proud I am of her. It's weird, language falls short. We never say stuff like "I'm proud of you/ I love you" at home. My mother throws it around but I always get uncomfortable for some reason. But i say it through actions. I wish there was a shorter/convenient way of saying I love you in Hindi. Anyway. My mother has lost her entire family to various diseases and alcoholism. My aunt (her sister) was the only member of her family alive until she wasn't. I'm so pissed at cancer. My aunt had only just entered her 50's. She lived an unfulfilled life and it aches my heart. My aunt was also a mentally challenged person. I wanted to take her to Bombay. I wanted to get her the magenta saree she kept going on about. I thought we had time. I really want to talk about her so much and let you know about her time on Earth. I still haven't been able to get myself to do the things I had planned. I wanted to fully document my immediate grief into a comic but I could only make a few panels. I'll share them in the next post. I've got stuff written down, I just can't draw it right now but I want to and will eventually. I'm just crying and confused but also indifferent and angry. Thanks for reading, I don't wanna stop typing
