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Chapter 37: To the Dungeon

🕑 Added 2020-12-17 21:20:14 +0000 UTC

Comments

SunriseCV

I was feeling my pacing was too slow, so instead of making another chapter in the village before they left to 'naturally' get the information out, I wanted to speed up a bit and used the time skipped as a device to allow to get the info out a bit at a time.

Stephen Pearson

Thanks for the chapter:-) This was strange / lacking in context: 'Derek also learned that the lord of Torith was one of the weakest among the lords, but because of his father, who was an official in the capital, no one said anything.'; what's missing is why would anyone say anything? Is this personal weakness, and considered a problem somehow? Is this weakness in the form of inattentiveness to his domain and responsibilities? Also, the info dump seemed a bit... choppy? Not sure if a simple in-place restructuring, splitting up the dungeon and kingdom parts, or moving some of it (especially the kingdom parts) to conversation in previous chapters would work best to smooth it out. That said, not sure if it bothers anyone else anyways.

SunriseCV

A few minutes late. I forgot I needed to change the blue boxes to images in Patreon. lol


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