Neviara
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Cycle 1-10: Wasted Opportunities
🕑 Added 2023-06-10 19:06:24 +0000 UTC“Hey Kaitlyn! Omigosh, I’m so excited. I’m gonna go see Maze of Ills tomorrow! Can you believe that they’re performing here? It’s on campus too! You wanna come along? It’s gonna be soooo cool!”
“N-no thanks. I gotta study.”
“You sure? Alright, well, don’t push yourself too hard!”
***
“Oh, Kate! I’ve been meaning to ask you! Wanna go to the football game tonight? It’s like, the last home game for the season, y’know?”
“T-thanks, but I’m ok. I don’t, I’m not really into sports. Really.”
“Awwww, it’s not even about the game though! It’s about the experience!”
“Well, uh, s-still. Thanks though.”
“Fine, fine, you don’t hafta or anything. But really, girl, we really gotta hang out sometime.”
***
“Omigosh, are you ready for the HeartBeats Festival? It’s gonna be sooooo fun! They’ve got some really popular headliners this year, and I heard they’re even bringing in fair rides!”
“Oh, really? Sounds fun.”
“Yeah! It’s, like, the highlight of the semester! Even off campus students come back for it! It’s gonna be the best!”
“Ah. H-have fun.”
“Have fun? Have fun? Don’t even tell me you’re missing HeartBeats too, Kate!”
“...S-sorry. I just… I really gotta study.”
“Kaitlyn… Really, girl, I worry about you sometimes. You work too hard. You gotta remember to lighten up, y’know?”
***
Inside the safety of her dorm room, Kaitlyn pored over her notes one final time. She checked her phone. Still almost an hour before her first final started. Plenty of time to cram a little bit more.
Already her pen, pencil, cheat sheets, and basic calculator were assembled in a small stack on the corner of the mess that was her desk. Bringing an entire backpack to an exam was just a huge hassle, so only the necessities were coming with. That was even more reason to put off leaving for as long as possible - she wouldn’t be bringing her notes.
Checking over the steps of mitosis one more time, Kaitlyn’s eye glanced over to the stack of index cards haphazardly stacked on a shelf above. The study materials Philip had left her with. They weren’t for biology, of course. Even if they had been, it wouldn’t have mattered. She hadn’t been back to see him since just after midterms. Heck, she hadn’t touched the things since their last tutoring session. Just looking at them makes me annoyed again.
She scoffed, getting back to work. Heather sat lounging quietly on her side of the room, flipping through her own stack of flashcards. After a time, she stood and broke the silence.
“Ok, time for me to head out! I gotta get to my Psych final.” She stretched, trading her cards for her own small stack of exam materials. “How ya feelin’, Kate? Ready?”
“I guess,” came the resigned reply. “As I’ll ever be. You?”
“Omigosh, I’m so ready. Ready to be done with this class.” She rolled her eyes, then flashed a peace sign with a grin. “I think I’m gonna crush it though. The practice problems were a breeze, so like, no way it’s worse than that!”
Kaitlyn smiled slightly. “Good luck.”
She genuinely meant it too. Heather was a good student who worked hard. More than that though, she had been genuinely good to Kaitlyn. As much as she was jealous of the girl’s abilities and her easier course load, she really couldn’t bring herself to resent the blonde.
“Thanks! Same to you, hun!” Heather beamed. “Remember, no matter how it goes, I still think you’re awesome. Mmmkay?”
Kaitlyn gave a wry grin back. Unfortunately, you’re not the one I’m trying to impress here. “Yeah. Thanks.”
The door shut behind Heather with a soft click. Sighing, Kaitlyn leaned back and folded her arms behind her head, She had time for a small break. Just a small one.
***
The lecture hall loomed in front of Kaitlyn, its doors closed and silent. A crowd of students had gathered around the entrance in a loose perimeter, poring over last minute notes or quizzing each other on various topics. She chose to spend these last moments listening in, seeing what tidbits of information she could catch.
Soon enough, the doors swung open to disgorge a flood of its inhabitants. They looked exhausted. She didn’t know what final they were getting out of, but it didn’t seem like an easy one. Only a small scattering of students still had bright eyes and heads held high.
“Hey!”
Kaitlyn’s ears perked up. The voice sounded familiar. Still, there were a lot of people here, so it was probably nothing.
“Hey!”
A bronze hand emerged from the crowd and waved in her direction. She gave a start. Is that… Alex?
As she watched, the runner became briefly visible between the rivers of students streaming by. Shockingly, he was making his way towards her.
Wait… really?
Soon enough, he broke out of the main mass and began jogging the short distance over to where Kaitlyn sat. Alex’s warm brown eyes lit up as he grinned. “‘Sup! Haven’t seen you around lately. You got a final up next?”
She froze for a moment in disbelief. He… he remembers me. Even though we’ve barely talked. He actually remembers me?
Her mouth worked to formulate a response. “Y-yeah! Um, Genetics.”
“Ah, cool, good luck! I just got outta Econ.” He groaned.
“Ah. Um, how was it?”
“Not my best, not gonna lie.” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I’m starving tho, so I gotta get going before Cappy’s fills up.”
“Oh! Yeah, I gotta get going too.” Kaitlyn glanced over. It seemed that enough students had exited that her Genetics class could begin filtering inside. “U-um, thanks for saying hi.”
“Of course! Good to see you!” Alex gave her a parting wave, then hesitated. “Wait. It was… Catherine, right?”
“Um, close. Kaitlyn.”
“Dang,” he smacked himself on the forehead. “I really am bad at names. I’ll try to remember next time. Well, see ya around!”
As Alex receded into the distance, black hair tousled about by the wind, Kaitlyn smiled. Maybe I shouldn’t be this happy, considering that he forgot my name. But I am anyway.
***
Kaitlyn lay back on her bottom bunk, staring at the mattress above. An assortment of wooden slats and metal wire kept Heather’s bed from falling through and crushing her. Pity.
Finals were over. They had proceeded just about how she’d expected - that is, horribly.
Writing - D (61%)
Calculus - F (32%)
Statistics - F (43%)
Chemistry - F (41%)
Genetics - F (41%)
Despite poring over notes, dedicating so much time to studying, and even pushing aside any semblance of a social life or romance, it had all been for naught. All she had to show for her efforts were a collection of five abysmal grades. Even her writing grade had suffered from the stress, ending up far below what she had hoped.
It wasn’t worth it, she sighed. The action blew a short brown strand of hair out of her face. I tried to put the dating sim stuff on hold to get my classes in order, and what did I get? Neither. Shouldn’t have even tried, I suppose.
More than anything though, she was frustrated. Being isekai’d was supposed to be this awesome experience, full of adventure and fantasy and whatnot. But her? She felt cheated. She’d been tossed into an awful situation with no advantages, no special circumstances, no anything really. It felt like she’d been scammed.
And why not? It’s not like I got transported to some standard world without any magic or fantasy elements, not even a medieval-style one. It’s pretty much what I was doing before.
She felt resentment well up from within. No, it’s actually worse. At least before I had control over what I was studying. I had friends, if only a few. I had hobbies, an identity, a foundation to build my life on. I had… I had family.
But here? A slight wetness began to roll down her cheeks. Here I have nothing. NOTHING. I had nothing to start, and I STILL have nothing. At the very least this stupid game could have given me… I don’t know, something to hold on to? Something, anything. I didn’t expect the guys to be falling over themselves after me or anything, but… Just a bit of help. Just someone to feel close to. A friend to help me feel like it was alright.
Wiping furiously at her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie, she took in a shaky breath. She missed her old life. It had always felt lonely, like she didn’t have anyone truly close to talk to or share things with. Only now did she realize how wrong that was.
I miss… I miss my mom. My sister too. I just want to see them again.
She spared a longing look over at Heather’s desk. She had one friend, she supposed. Still, even her attempts at comfort hadn’t helped much. No amount of “feeling comfortable with herself” fixed her problems right now. It certainly didn’t change the big red numbers on her exams.
Kaitlyn rolled over and pulled a blanket over her head. She was stuck here for the winter break, alone in the dorm with a handful of other students. Heather was already gone, home with her parents for Christmas. But apparently, Kaitlyn had no such family to draw from here. She had simply… appeared in this world. Even looking through her phone contacts revealed no saved numbers, no “mom” or “dad” to help her pretend like they were only a call away.
I wonder how they’re doing. Are things just moving along like normal over there? Do they think I’m missing, or dead? Are they looking for me? A morbid thought wormed its way in. Maybe… maybe I just “disappeared” out of their lives like I “appeared” in this one. Maybe they don’t even remember me.
She shook her head angrily. It was no use worrying about things like that. That was a quick way to make things even worse. Still, the dark mood refused to leave. She could only hope that one day, when this game was done, she’d be able to go back. Whenever that was. At least next semester she might be able to change her major. From what she had heard classes were already set though, so she was not looking forward to the rest of the year.
Maybe I’ll just say “screw it” to classes next semester. A small smile touched the corner of her mouth. I mean, I’ve tried the other way and everyone saw how that went. Might as well focus on the part of this that I was actually excited for - the dating sim.
The idea was comforting, if a bit bittersweet. She couldn’t imagine how many doors were already closed to her on that front. Philip, obviously, was out of the question. Elliot could be a friend, but nothing more. But maybe Alex and the brown haired guy were still available? She had no idea how to even go about talking to them, of course, but maybe she could muster up the courage to try.
As she faded off to sleep, Kaitlyn considered for the hundredth time where everything had gone wrong. She had been given a fresh start, a new opportunity, and she had still let it go to such waste. Sure, it could have been a bit more tailored to her success, but still. This was supposed to be a chance to fix herself, get better at the things she sucked at. She had hoped to improve on her failures at friends and romance both.
Same in this life and my last, she thought wryly. Only now, I’m a failure in school too. I guess even an extraordinary situation can’t make a boring person more interesting.
***
Cycle 1 Complete!
Ending: Under the Radar
New Ending Unlocked!
Achievement Earned: The First of Many
Total Endings Unlocked: 1
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