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Morning After in Vegas Ch. 1 (Unedited)
🕑 Added 2025-02-02 01:42:12 +0000 UTCThe Morning After in Vegas
By: Bubbajack
Editors/Co-authors: Icysnowsage, Antagonist, Loamy Coffee Reiter, First Hassan
Special Consultant: Heliosion
Obligatory First Chapter Disclaimer: We do not own the following franchises. BtVS, Bayonetta, Black Clover, Fairy Tail, Monster Girl Quest, Iruma-kun,
1-1: The Hangover
Alexander “Xander” Lavelle Harris was many things. Some would consider him the Zeppo. Useless, normal, weak, forgotten, and human. He was no super slayer like Buffy, he was no wiz of a witch like Willow, and he wasn’t even amounting to Giles and his understanding and wisdom when it came to the supernatural. He was just average.
After finally conquering the great evil that was ….. The Mayor. Xander felt like he wanted to relax and chill for a little bit. So he decided to leave Sunnydale for the summer and plan a proper road trip.
Sadly bad luck struck and his car gave its last breath and died.
Luckily, the ole girl broke down in Las Vegas of all places. Xander felt there were worse places to be trapped. He had plenty of money saved up for his road trip fund. He thought he might as well mingle and play some slots.
He chose to stay away from any drinks though. Not only was he worried about alcohol but also roofies are common for men and women. So better safe than sorry.
Hopefully nothing else odd or strange will happen.
After all, he isn't in Sunnyhell.
(...)
The immediate hit of nausea made Xander get up from his hotel room bed and almost go straight for the bathroom. There was a problem though. Several problems actually. First he couldn’t remember last night at all. He remembered going to the poker table and then everything after talking to a strange man was a blur. Something about a big event and they needed a spare player. High risk, high reward. Everything was blank after that.
The problems came in that Xander booked a room alone. However if ole righty and lefty were true he was currently cupping two different boobs, while Xander loved a Twinkie, he had no moobs so to speak of. So Xander's eyes snapped open, and then he looked left, then right. On his left was a sinfully curvaceous woman. Her skin was ivory pale except for a mole she had on her upper left cheek. By contrast her hair was black as ebony. She was wearing nothing but some bed sheets And a pair of sharp glasses over her eyes.
On his left, was a svelte girl with long silver tresses and pointed ears of all things. ‘Did I just sleep with an elf?’ Xander wondered to himself. “What the hell did I do last night?”
“Me, other people and so much more, fufufufu,” a sinfully lascivious voice replied before it burst into giggles that came from near his legs and Xander realized there was a weight on his legs.
Looking dead ahead, Xander found himself looking face to face with a purple skinned lamia of all things. She had her lower snake-like torso wrapped around his legs. She just smiled at him lovingly, hungrily, and lustily all at the same time. “Did you sleep well, darling?”
“I'm very confused.” Xander replied in a low tone, hoping not to wake everyone else up. “Where am I, who are you, who’re they, and how did we get here?” He asked while trying to shift the down feather quilt blanket off of his torso, only to find it wasn’t a blanket at all, but someone’s wing.
“Hmm, what’s zat?” a vivacious blond wondered sitting up in bed and looking quite discombobulated with her hair a mess, and eyes bloodshot with dark circles under them.
“I see you're awake, Illias.” the lamia said with a little bit of heat in her tone. “Good, that means you can get up and let darling go to the bathroom.”
“Alice, you… Darling?” She looked in confusion at the lamia and then looked at Xander before comprehension and horror dawned in her sky blue eyes. “Oh oh no, this shouldn't have happened at all. This is a disaster!”
Doing his best to defuse the situation before it could start, Xander said calmly, “Lady, I am just as confused as you are, but right now I have got to take care of a morning problem if you catch my drift, so if you and… Alice was it? could please get off of me, I'd appreciate it.”
“Of course, but make no mistake, we will be speaking of this,” Illias said with God-like authority and moving her wing off Xander and folded behind her back.
Being far too used to dealing with the Slayer, he nodded and said. “As milady demands.” Looking at Alice, he pointedly coughed and asked, “If you would?”
“Right. Sorry darling, you're just so warm.” Alice sheepishly admitted flushing a bit, as she uncoiled herself from around him.
Now that his lower extremities were free, Xander had another problem. ‘How do I get out of bed without waking up the cute elf girl?’ He thought to himself. ‘Actually, where did any of these girls even come from? Last thing I remember is being dragged into a poker game because they needed an extra player.’ Running a hand down his face, he continued to berate himself, ‘I'm going to have to figure all this out over breakfast, aren't I?’ Looking at Alice, he silently shooed her off the bed. That way, he could get up without waking anyone else who was already on it. And he noticed there were quite a few people laying in the oversized California king bed. Besides himself, Alice, Illias, the elf and the supermodel, there looked to be another angelic being, and a blonde who was still asleep. All of them naked as the day they were born.
“Go get ready for the day I’ll rouse the others while you do your morning ablutions.” Alice told him kindly, smiling while rising up to head height on her snake tail.
“Thanks… why’re you being so nice to me?” He couldn’t help but question. He felt that if any other girl woke up with him in their bed they would A. freak out or B. like Faith kick him out in embarrassment.
Giggling, Alice replied, “Oh Xandy, you really don’t remember anything from last night do you?” Seeing him dumbly shake his head she showed him her left hand, upon which sat a silver ring set with sixteen cornflower blue sapphires. It was most certainly a wedding ring. It all clicked for him.
He was in Vegas. A city where you could get married by Elvis impersonators. Something had happened to him last night and he ended up getting married to…
“Was it just you?” He asked Alice. Who shook her head as her smile grew wider.
“Every girl in this room,” She clarified before adding happily, “And you had more than enough stamina to keep us all satisfied, too.”
“Uh, well um, jeez, you're welcome…” Xander stuttered out, his only other sexual experience having been with Faith, with him essentially being used as her pump and dump.
“No problem, Stud,” Alice said, playfully slapping him on the arm before pushing him towards the bathroom. “Now go get cleaned up, because once everyone else wakes up, they're going to want their turns at the shower and I can't guarantee there's going to be hot water after that happens.”
“Thanks, Alice,” He told her before trotting off to the bathroom.
“Alipheese Fateburn,” She corrected, “My full name is Alipheese Fateburn. Or I suppose I should say Alipheese Fateburn Harris now. fufufufu!” She finished with a happy little giggle, her entire body wiggling left and right as she hugged herself.
‘Just what in the hell happened last night?’ Xander thought as he closed the bathroom door and turned the shower on. He didn’t know but he vowed to himself he was going to find out as he stepped under the soothing spray of comfortingly warm water. Right after he finished his shower, got a hot cup of joe in him, and had a large breakfast. ‘Besides,’ He figured, ‘All these girls could probably do better than me anyway.’
(...)
It was only after Xander had finished his shower, that he realized he didn't bring a change of clothes into the bathroom with him. So, toweling off, he poked his head out into the room. Seeing everyone else was awake except the elf, he called out, “Sorry I didn't keep you ladies waiting too long, did I?”
The supermodel of a woman who seemed to be wearing what looked to be a full body black leather catsuit, her ebon tresses now up into a beehive hairdo, she smirked at him playfully and called back, “Not at all, dear. Why don't you come out here and give Mamma some sugar?”
“Down girl. I'd prefer it if somebody could throw me my bag if it's out there. I didn't bring any clothes with me into the bathroom.”
A full figured woman with wavy blonde hair and big sky blue eyes brought his black duffle bag forward and dropped it in front of him, “Here you are.”
He gave her a thankful nod, but was drawing a blank on her name, much like most of his memories from last night. “ Umm, thank you, Uh?”
“Micaela.” She supplied.
“Right, Micaela, thanks again. Excuse me for a moment, everyone, I'm gonna get dressed and then you all can do your primping in here. Then, once everyone's ready, we can all go downstairs, get breakfast and piece together what in the hell happened last night. Does that sound like a plan that will work for everyone?” mumbles of assent and agreement were given, and Xander nodded. “Cool, I'll be out in five.”
4 minutes and 15 seconds later and Xander came out fully dressed. Though he didn't recognize any of the clothes that were now in his bug out bag. “Where the hell did this turtleneck come from?” He asked, pulling at the black turtleneck that he was forced to wear because all of his Hawaiian shirts were mysteriously missing. He didn't mind the form fitting black jeans, and he had no complaints about the steel toed leather boots he was wearing.
“That was me,” The supermodel, whose name he still didn't know, said sheepishly, raising her hand. “I saw what you had packed in there and it looked so atrocious. I had to do something about it, darling.”
“You transmogrified my clothes to look like what, Jason Bourne?”
“Well, you do look roguishly handsome now, don't you?” She replied, stepping forward, draping her arms around his neck while giving him a cocky smirk. She then playfully pouted at him as she said. “You don't remember my name, just like all the rest, do you?”
Xander's brow furrowed for a moment before he said, “Part of me wants to say Cereza, but that also doesn't sound right.”
His response got him a peck on the cheek that left a black lipstick stain, “Clever boy. But I'd prefer you only call me that when we're alone. Or within the present company at least.”
“And in public?” Xander questioned.
“Call me Bayonetta.” She kindly requested, gently cupping his face and rubbing away the lipstick stain with her thumb. She and the rest of them sans the elf giggled when Xander squirmed like a kid having grime cleaned off his face.
“Bayonetta Harris… Oh boy, this was one hell of a night. If I don't go to jail for bigamy, it'll be a miracle.” Xander bemoaned and rubbed a hand down his face.
“Don’t worry Xander, God is on your side. Literally.” Micaela said as she shot a glare at Ilias.
“Don't drag me into this, I still think this was a mistake.” The blonde bombshell of an Angel (goddess?) pouted.
“Why not? You dragged me into this and didn't even ask me?” Micaela sniped back just as easily, her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at her so-called creator.
Having practically a sixth sense for when women were about to fight at this point, Xander held up his hands and said “OK, OK, that's enough.” Looking between the two blondes, he offered a compromise, “We can kill each other later, preferably after breakfast. If I'm going to die, I'd rather die on a full stomach,” looking between the two, he said, “Agreed?” The two looked shocked for a moment, Then nodded. “Good, now go get dressed.” He said, thumbing towards the bathroom.
After the two were gone, Bayonetta turned towards him and said. “You just mouthed off to a goddess and her head Angel. You realize that, correct?”
“Honey, I have mouthed off to bigger and badder things that have subsequently tried to kill me. At this point, I think I'm inoculated to stupidity,” mused Xander.
His response just made the woman laugh. “There is a thin line between bravery and stupidity, but I think you're leaning towards bravery.”
Xander looked around the room and noticed that one of the people was in something of a morning daze. “What's wrong with her?” He said, pointing at the elf.
“It seems our dear Frierien isn't much of a morning person,” Bayonetta said as she shook her head. “Perhaps you should wake her up somehow.”
“Frieren, huh?” Xander had to admit, he'd never heard such a unique name before. But considering it was the name of an elf, he thought it suited her rather well.
“Frieren, Frieren, It's time to get up.” He called as he gently nudged her shoulder. Her only response was to mumble incoherently and roll towards him. Clearly, she was not a morning person. ‘OK, how should I wake her up?’ He thought to himself. Before shrugging and thinking, ‘Well if she's going to be Sleeping Beauty, I guess I can be Prince Charming.’ So before he could second guess his actions, he leaned forward and kissed the sleeping elf. There was a moment paused before her eyes snapped open and silver met brown.
Xander pulled away and said “Good morning Sleeping Beauty.”
“Good morning, Xander… Are you going to wake me up this way every morning?” Frieren asks as she holds a hand up to her lips.
“Would you complain if I did?” He asked sincerely, worried he overstepped.
“No,” the elf replied, shaking her head a little bit, “But it might take some getting used to.” Her other hand was over her chest, clutching her beating heart. She then grinned from ear to ear, her ears wiggling as she hugged him, her face buried in his stomach.
Concerned, Xander ran a hand through her silver locks as he asked, “Everything alright, Frieren?”
“Everything's fine, I just… Never thought I could feel this happy.” She replied, refusing to remove her face from his torso.
Even though Xander couldn't really remember what happened last night, he was finding less and less reasons to annul this marriage. It seemed like a lot of the people who were already in it seemed alright with their lot. And if he did annul it, he might be breaking more than one heart. And he didn't know if he had it in him to do that.
“You're a good man, you'll do the right thing,” a knowing, mature voice said from his left.
He looked and found a mature looking blonde staring at him. She was nearly as tall as Xander himself at nearly six feet, her hair was done in ringlets, and she had boobs big enough to poke someone's eye out with, her eyes were a pale blue, like a frozen over lake.
She smiled at him in a serene motherly fashion and said, “Since you don't remember my name, you can just call me Maman.”
Looking at her confused for a moment, Xander asked, “Isn't that French for mother?”
Pinching his cheek in a playful manner, she replied, “You are a smart one, aren't you?” She then leaned in and kissed that same cheek, saying, “ You may not remember it, but I owe you a great debt, so I intend to pay it all back.”
“What did I do last night?” Xander said for what felt like the umpteenth time since he woke up.
“Darling, we're all ready.” Alice called, getting his attention. She was now in a humanoid form, that of a pale skinned girl wearing gothic attire, while still possessing her tribal tattoos. Her snake tail had been replaced with human legs covered by a black skirt over long pink and black striped leggings, and mary janes on her feet.
No one else was staggeringly different as Alice was, but they had changed all the same. Wings had disappeared, horns had evaporated into their skulls, and no one was naked anymore. That was a bit of a letdown in Xander's case, but he could live with it. Looking at Frieren, who had yet to even get out of the bed , He asked, "Want to get ready for the day and go get some breakfast?”
“Will you help me do my hair? Usually my apprentice does it, but she's not here at the moment.”
“Sure, as long as you don't mind pigtails.”
Frieren just smiled and replied, “Perfect.”
(...)
Stark stared down into the murky black mass that was his coffee. He still couldn't believe what had happened last night between him and Fern, but the golden band on his finger confirmed it. ‘I can't believe we did that and then we did… that.’ The red haired warrior thought to himself. His face reddening at the memory. One that he would treasure for all time. He felt himself getting redder as he remembered the feel of her beneath him, her moans, her breath on his skin. ‘Calm down Stark, she could show up any moment and have second thoughts about this.’ He told himself as he slapped his cheeks.
“Master Stark?” Fern's soft, calm voice felt like a dagger to his heart when he glanced up and saw her staring at him from across the table. He didn't know when she got there, but she was nursing her own cup of coffee.
“Y-Yeah Fern, what is it?” Stark stuttered out and he hated himself for it. Of all the times he needed to be strong, now was one of them.
“Do you regret last night?” Fern asked bluntly, getting to the point. Just like she always did.
“Honestly?” He said, staring at the lights in front of the cafeteria they were in. “If it was anyone else asking me this question, I would have said yes,” He looked down and looked her in the eyes and replied in sincerity, “But since it's you, I don't regret a damn thing… I’ve liked you for a while now Fern. I'm just not the best at expressing things unless I'm either scared for my life or need to protect you or Miss Frieren,” He said it all in one breath before asking her the same question she asked him, “Do you regret what we did?”
Smiling, Fern replied, “As you said, Master Stark, if it were anybody else.”
“So, uh, I guess that means we're married now, huh?” Stark said before coughing awkwardly into his hand.
“We are, but as far as I see it. I've been looking after you like a wife would for her husband for several years now. Mending your clothes, making sure you eat properly, making sure you don't kill yourself when we're in the middle of a fight. So if you happened to die, I figured I’d get half of your things anyway.”
Shaking his head at how logical she was being about all of this, Stark just said, “I love you too, Fern. I still can't believe we ended up here, all because Miss Frieren mispronounced a spell wrong.” Stark sighed out. Not for the first, nor second, or even third time.
“You shouldn't blame Master Frieren for this. Anyone could have sneezed when reciting a word in the ancient tongue. Even her.” Fern said, coming to her master's defense even though they were presently trapped in an unfamiliar land thanks to her master getting the sniffles of all things..
For his part, Stark shook his head, “I don't blame her, it's just this place we're in now is so weird. Demons still exist, but they hide in the shadows. Humans build towers that touch the sky, and all kinds of other things besides. Magic and its practitioners are now practically nonexistent. The elves are extinct. And there doesn't seem to be any Demon Lord to have to deal with, but that doesn't stop an almost yearly world ending event from what we've heard…” He paused, looking around the room for a silver head of hair for a moment before turning to Fern and asking, “Speaking of her, what do you think she got up to last night? All I remember is she said she was going to play some poker…” A shocked look came over his face before he exclaimed, “Do you think she also… last night?”
Fern shook her head at the ridiculousness of her husband's question, “Don't be daft, Master Stark, You know as well as I do that elves have no sex drive. It's why their race was going extinct in the first place. They have all but lost the urge to breed.”
“True,” Stark agreed, “But I still think it's odd that we haven't seen her yet.”
“You know Master isn't a morning person. If anything, we'll be lucky to see her a few hours from now without me there to wake her, and to help her get ready for the day.”
The two sighed, their heads dropping simultaneously, both knowing full well what Frieren was like. Downing the rest of his coffee like a shot and ignoring his scalding tongue and throat. Stark stood up and said, “We should go… look… for…her…”
“Master Stark, what is it? What's wrong? I haven't seen you look like that since that time you fought the red dragon.” Fern said worriedly before she turned around in her seat and looked at where her new beau was staring.
For walking into the cafeteria, clinging to a man maybe a year older than herself, was her Master. She was smiling happily in a way Fern had never seen her smile so happily before, and what's more, she had a ring on her finger… A marriage ring.
(...)
Xander felt very uncomfortable with all the eyes on him as his retinue of girls came in with him. Frieren was attached to his hip and wouldn’t let go. The others all gave him a peck on the cheek as they each went to grab some food except Alice who immediately grabbed several plates and started stacking food like she was starving.
Xander with Frieren holding his hand walked to the line for seafood. Xander while living in Cali and being near the coast could never really afford good seafood. He went and grabbed king crab legs, lobster tail, swordfish, and finished it with some caviar and a simple bagel and lox with smoked salmon. He never tried any of this before but he wanted something different. Frieren surprised him by getting ribs, a bowl of rice, sushi, and a thick slice of ribeye roast.
“I thought elves were vegetarians and respected the earth and was one with nature. You know, basically hippies?” asked Xander.
“First, what's a hippy? Second, where I am from, you can’t be picky about what you eat and my favorite meal is hamburger steak.”
Xander nodded along and saw what others got.
He blushed when he saw the giant kielbasa sausage, bananas, and other phallic looking food Maman had gotten. He also saw a glass of milk, greek yogurt with fruits and almonds, and cheese toast of all things.
Bayonetta was simple with her getting some crepes, whipped cream, strawberries and powdered sugar.
Xander couldn’t see Alice past her towers of food.
Ilias seemed to have a propensity for apples. Apple fritter, apple yogurt, baked apples, cinnamon apples, and apple juice.
Micaela had simple oatmeal, orange juice, and a nice cup of coffee with half and half with honey to sweeten it.
Xander was about to sit down at a table when Frieren dragged him to a couple with odd hair if Xander had to be honest. The man was well built but nervous with blood red hair with black accents. The girlfriend who seemed to be pouting a little had purple hair that complimented her purple eyes.
Before Xander could speak, Frieren sat down next to them and introduced them, “These are my kids Fern and Stark.”
Stark, who was nervously drinking some coffee, spewed it out of his mouth at the statement while Fern blushed.
“Master, please introduce us properly.” Fern all but demanded through her blush.
“Fine, fine, ruin an old lady's fun, why don't you?” The elf cajoled before she redid her introductions. “Xander, this is Fern and Stark, My apprentices and traveling companions. And I consider them my kids in all but blood.”
“Hey kids.” Xander felt a little weird saying that, considering they were probably only a couple months younger than he was.
How come it's ok when you refer to yourself as an old woman, but ‘I’ get the stink eye whenever I do it?” Stark asked.
“Because a man should never bring up a woman's age,” Xander answered for Frieren before she could do it. “If you're smart, you'll take this lesson to heart and never bring it up again.” All while Frieren nodded sagely next to him.
“As you can see, Xander is wise beyond his years, which is why I decided to keep him.” Frieren said with a smug grin on her face before she tore into the roast on her plate, but not before giving Xander an appreciative peck on the cheek.
Stark, for his part, nodded seriously, seeming to take what Xander said to heart. Only for a male voice with a deep Irish brogue to call out. “I'm pretty sure the reason you kept him is because he won half your life span in a poker game luv.”
Xander's head shot up and looked over to a man who was strutting over to their table. He looked to be in his thirties with a head of reddish hair and green eyes dressed in a dapper suit. “Hey Xander mate, how ya doin’ buddy?” He said jovially. Before giving a little chuckle and saying "I'm surprised you're even able to walk after taking all these lassies to bed.”
It took Xander a moment before he finally said, “Patrick?”
“Yeah, it's me. I was wondering how absorbing all that essence would have an effect on you. Temporary memory loss, I'm assuming? Mind if I pull up a chair and fill you in on what happened last night mate?”
“Please, I wish someone would fill me in. Everyone else who was there is too busy stuffing their faces at the moment.” Giving a furtive look around the table and all the women had enough self respect to look sheepish.
Pulling up a chair and ordering an Irish coffee from a passing waitress, Patrick Riley wove his tale. “Well, it goes like this, right? Every hundred or so years I come to Vegas and hold a special game. Not just anyone can enter, you have to, when you bet with chips, you're betting with years off your lifespan. The regular customers showed up, Plutus, Bayonetta, always a pleasure, luv.” He said, giving the Umbral Witch a nod and a wink.
“Pleasure is always mine, Patrick.” Bayonetta replied in kind, giving him a playful wink of her own before going back to her meal.
Patrick then continued his tale, “But there were a few outliers this time. Little Miss Illias, and our pointy eared elf lady, this annoying bloke named Crowley. But we needed an extra. So I picked you. I didn't expect you to clean us all out of house and home,”
“Wait, did I ‘kill’ people last night?” Xander asks, suddenly becoming alarmed, “By winning at poker?”
Patrick just grinned at him and patted his chest, “I'm still here, ain't I? That's the most miraculous bit. You're a damn Saint. The moment it started looking ugly for the lot of us, you started giving chips back. You've still got a good five-thousand plus years on your lifespan mind you, but now a lot of us owe you big time mate.”
Xander took a long swig of his coffee, for the first time wishing it was something stronger As Patrick's words settled on him, “I'm gonna live for the next five-thousand years?”
“Easy mate, easy. Just breathe,” Patrick said, patting him on the back. “You'll be just fine. It's not nearly as bad as you think. You got hitched to some pretty birds last night, and all of them will live quite a darn long time anyway. So it's not like you'll be alone for all that time,” He then glared at the women at the table and said, “You didn't tell him nothing? For shame, for shame.”
Alice interjected on everyone else's behalf, having devoured the mountain of food on both of her plates, “We were going to talk about it after breakfast.”
“Before or after you ate the freaking buffet out of existence?” The Irish sorcerer retorted. “Maybe now would be a good time to bring him up to speed on everything, yeah?”
“Fine if you insist,” Illias said, huffing a bit, before fixing her eyes on Xander and saying, “In order to clear my debt with you, I made you my champion. You have various powers now that you can now call upon when you need to.”
Xander was surprised to hear that, so he found himself questioning,“So what? I'm like a paladin or something?”
Illias nodded, “Yes, you will bring righteous wrath and holy vengeance down upon monsters whom I despise.” The goddess replied, sending a glare Alice's way as she did so.
Xander didn't miss that little interaction, but he decided to let it go for the moment, “OK, so why is Micaela here? Is she gonna teach me how to use these powers or what?”
The Angel was quick to speak up, “No, but I suppose I could. No, the reason I am here is because she bet me her first creation, in one of the hands of poker and lost me to you.”
“Sorry, but slavery's been illegal in this country for a couple hundred years now.”
“I’m aware, so I did the next best thing. I married you,” She said holding up her right hand, then had a ring on her right ring finger. The ring was a beautiful golden band that looked to be two wrapped rings around an exquisite amethyst.
Xander was having a bit of a hard time following her logic, “I would like to object to the idea of marriage being slavery for women. It's a partnership, not a slave marking. At least that's what the ring is supposed to symbolize.”
Hearing that earned him a smile from the Archangel, “You're a good man, Alexander Lavelle Harris. Keep acting like that and I'll be more than happy to have your surname.”
Xander then turned towards Maman, “So were you there during poker night too? What do you have to do with all of this?”
“I was there, I show up every year,” She affirmed, “Mostly because I despise Plutus with a passion rivaling a thousand exploding suns.” She said with the same chipper smile on her face and tone in her voice.
“Should I ask why?”
“My ex-husband died and left me in debt to him,” She replied tactfully. “It was a debt you cleared on my behalf last night.” She purred the last part huskily as she looked at him with half lidded eyes, “What I wouldn't have given to see Plutus die from old age,” A shiver of pleasure seemed to run through at the very thought. “But seeing him in debt to you will more than make up for it.”
“Speaking of old Plutus left some grimoires in your safety deposit box with the staff here,” Patrick piped up for his benefit.
“Is that to clear his debt or?” Xander inquired politely.
The Irishman merely shook his head, “You had Plutus gasping for breath, nearly dying on the floor mate, this doesn't even begin to clear his debt. If anything, this clears the first couple hundred years, not to mention all the interest he accrued.”
Xander looked floored, “He accrued interest?!”
Patrick just shrugged, “Well he is the God of greed. His dumbass kept doubling down whenever he thought he could beat you.”
“What about that one guy you talked about Crowley or whatever?”
Patrick nodded, “Oh yeah, he left you something too. A gun. An old looking Colt by the looks of it. It's in your safety deposit box, same as the grimoires. It's not enough to clear his debt, but it's something at least.”
Xander patted down his clothes, but he couldn't find a safety deposit box key on himself anywhere. “I don't have a key for a safety deposit box,”
“You left it in your Hummer.”
“I own a Hummer now?!”
Patrick shook his head, grinning, clearly bemused, “Man, you really don't remember a damn thing from last night do you?”
“Nope,” spoke Xander with a look of slight irritation on his face at the fact he couldn’t remember a damn thing from last night.
“Hmm, it might be better to grab your winnings and enjoy yourself for a little. When did you have to go back to your hometown? What was it called again?”
“Sunnydale.” replied Xander.
Patrick paused, then looked at Xander as if he was a crazy man and just laughed, “Of course you have the devil’s luck. You were raised on a gateway to hell. That makes so much sense.”
The others at the table looked at Xander in amazement, even Ilias was impressed her new champion could survive so long on a portal to hell. His soul was even pure by demonic standards. Sure it was overcome with guilt and melancholy but nothing she couldn’t fix in the long run.
Maman looked the most interested and licked her lips, “Sounds like a great place to raise a family.”
Xander looked at her like she was nuts but Alice and Bayonetta nodded along.
“Of course it builds character and is a great place to hide. After all, who thinks it's safe to live on a gateway to hell. I bet darling had no problem with dealing with the local pest problem.”
“Pests…. I mean I dealt with vampires almost daily when I was in high school.”
Alice giggled and gave Xander a peck on the cheek, “Oh those aren’t vampires Xander. They are blood demons. Vampires can have kids. Blood demons are just possessing a dead corpse. They can’t really do much and most are pretty dumb.”
“Do you have a house to stay in or do we need to buy one?” Micaela asked, trying to be responsible and make sure her new husband had a big enough domicile to fit all of them.
“We’ll need to buy one.” Xander informed her. Thankful to be out from under his parents roof. Especially since they’d told him before he left they were planning on charging him rent if he continued to live with them from now on since he was eighteen now. He then continued, “I need to get a job anyways. Is there any preference for a home? I guess I should ask, are you all alright living with me? I mean I am not anything special.” mused Xander with his own insecurities starting to rise up in himself.
He did not expect for Frieren to hold his hand and pull him close to her chest where he felt her heartbeat, “Xander Harris. I cannot say I have ever been in romantic love. However, listen to my heart. Hear how quickly it beats? Know that is my love for you. Now, I know that we haven’t been together long but I will treasure our time together as if the world is ending.”
He felt more hands on top of his and looked up to see every girl at the table besides Fern holding his hand and giving him a small smile. Even Ilias who looked alot better when smiling.
“I wouldn't worry about money lad. You can sell some of the stuff you won and be just fine. I also know that a lot of the women you are with are rich in their own right.” Patrick piped up as he ordered a second irish coffee. After taking a sip, He turned to Xander and asked, “So what are you going to do now mate?”
“Well, I've already done the craziest shit you can do in Vegas, so I guess I'm going to do what normal people do and go play some slots.” The newly married teen replied before standing up from the table. Looking at his new wives, he asked. “Anyone want to join me?”
“I can't speak for the others, but I'd be delighted to. You're just going to have to tell me how these slots work.” Frieren answered, latching herself to his arm as if she had all but claimed the position for herself.
“Poker's more my game, so if you need me you can find me by the tables.” Bayonetta told him with a saucy wink.
“I'll come with you to the slot machine, Xander and explain things to Freerin while I do.” Maman said.
“I am tempted to just stay here and keep eating, but if everyone else is going to leave, I may as well come with you.” Alice said, looking mournfully at her empty plates. “Maybe I'll try my hand at blackjack.”
“Micaela and I are going to head to the craps tables.” Ilias spoke up for her fellow Angel. “I think we're all going to be making some money today. So let's see if we can put a down payment on a house once we get out of here.”
Xander clapped his hands together, and rubbed them eagerly. He felt like Lady luck, or perhaps that was just Illias's blessing, was on his side at the moment. “All right, sounds like we have a plan. Let's do this, ladies.” He then looked towards Frieren’s kids, which he supposed were now his step kids. “You two coming? I can spare some chips, I think.”
Fern smiled at him and replied. “We'd be happy to join you, Papa Xander.”
‘Uh, my heart, I don't think I can take the sweetness.’ Xander thought to himself as he rubbed his chest, trying to rub away a wound that didn't exist.
“What Fern said, Sir.” Stark replied in a more neutral if respectful tone.
“Sir is my father Stark and we don't get along, so just call me Xander if you have to call me something.” the demon hunter informed the young warrior.
“Yes, Sir, I mean uh, Xander.” Correctly recovered from his Faux-pas.
Clapping him on the shoulder, Xander and giving him an easy smile, Xander told him, “Relax. I'm not mad, Stark. I'm just saying. I would prefer you not call me Sir. Makes me feel old.”
“Right. Got it.”
“Cool, now let's go win some money, people. We've got one if not two houses to buy because I don't think your kids want to keep living with us, Frieren, so we might want to earn enough so they can buy their own place.”
“I hadn't thought of that,” The elf said upon putting a finger to her chin and looking at the ceiling, “But they are newlyweds just like us, so they might want their own space,”
“It would have to be on the same block because Miss Frieren has the worst time getting up in the mornings, not to mention someone has to do her hair.” Fern teased her mentor and mother figure.
Never let it be said that the elf couldn't give as good as she got, however, grinning slyly at her apprentice, she replied, “I’ll have you know Fern, that Xander has a perfectly good way of waking me up in the mornings, and he did my hair too.”
“What could Xander have done that I haven't tried over the years?” Fern asked before pausing for a moment, her cheeks reddening at what Xander could’ve done to wake her master up and eventually amending, “Actually, don’t answer that. I probably don't want to know.”
“Is Fern having dirty thoughts?” Frieren teased her apprentice.
“Well, there's only one thing I haven't tried to wake you up in the mornings, Miss Frieren.”
Xander just laughed and said, “You two are a riot,” He then tilted Frieren's head up before leaning down and giving her a kiss on the mouth. “That's how I woke my little Sleeping Beauty up this morning.” Interlacing its fingers and then cracking them, he said. Now, enough fooling around, let's go win some cash. Coming, Patrick?” He asked the sorcerer.
“Right behind you mate. Well, right behind Bayonetta, you know. Well, poker's my game.” The Irishman replied as he followed the group out onto the betting floor.
You can follow all you want darling, just remember my eyes are up here and not down here.” Bayonetta replied as she pointed down at her ass.
“Sorry darling, but you're off the market and I don't flirt with married women.” Patrick said with a laugh as the group split up among the lights, flashing noises and sounds of the casino.
(...)
‘I'm beginning to wonder if Illias’ blessing really ‘did’ make me luckier.’ Xander wondered to himself as he hit a jackpot on the slot machine he was playing with for the fifth time. ‘That or this slot machine is broken.’ Apparently he wasn't the only one who thought so, because the floor manager had people checking the machine for tampering. “I swear I haven't done anything to this machine. Sure it's not faulty or something?”
“That's what we're checking for right now, Mister?” A tall bald man in a black suit with shades on replied as he asked for his name.
“Harris, Xander Harris.” He told the man not wanting to get into any kind of trouble and get kicked out of the place.
The technician who was looking over the machine looked up and said, “I can't find anything wrong with it, the kid just seems to be lucky.”
The casino muscle tapped into his earpiece and reported back to his boss. And he received a reply moments later before turning to Xander and informed him, “You've been allowed to keep on playing and we've decided to comp you a room, the high roller suite on the top floor.”
“That's mighty kind of you. Thank you,” Looking down at all the coins he'd made from the slot machine, He asked no one in particular, “How much did I make from this anyway? I kinda lost track after the third time.”
“Hitting the jackpot five times on a machine like this? I'd reckon you've totaled about 3 million.” The aged techie told him.
“Oh wow, that's more money than I've ever seen in my entire life… Since I don't want the pit boss to be mad at me, how about I give you guys back half of it, as thanks for comping me the room. And we forget this incident ever happened?”
The muscle man in the suit spoke into his earpiece and moments later he turned to Xander with a smile and said, “This will be more than agreeable, Mr. Harris. The boss would like to let you know that you have free rein to use the High Roller Suite whenever you are in town, and hope you have a pleasant rest of your day.”
“You too man, sorry for being such a bother,” Taking a few black chips and tossing them to both the technician and the muscle man before walking away with his and Frieren’s winnings, with Maman following with her own haul close behind them. As luck would have it, Bayonetta, Patrick, Ilias, Michaela Fern and Stark were in line just ahead of them. “How'd everybody do?” Xander asked. Has he saddled up behind Stark.
“Master Stark and I both made 500,000. That should be enough for a decent house, yes?” Fern inquired kindly.
Xander stared owl-eyed at his stepdaughter for a moment before asking, “What the heck did you two end up doing?”
“Three card poker. It was easy to learn compared to magic.” Fern replied honestly.
Xander reached over and patted Fern on top of the head, “You're a good girl, Fern, don't let anyone ever tell you different.”
Blushing even as she beamed, Fern replied. “Thank you, Papa Xander.”
Turning to Patrick and Bayonetta, he asked the duo, “How did you two do?”
“We cleaned up mate.” Patrick told his new friend. “Of course, that's usually what happens when me and Bey team up.” His comment earned him a slug on the arm from the umbral witch.
“I've told you before, Riley, don't call me BAE.”
“Can ‘I’ call you Bay?” Xander asked while following the old adage of better safe than sorry.
Smirking at him coyly, Bayonetta replied, “Call me whatever you want, Sugar, including mistress.”
Shaking his head at her endless teasing, Xander replied, “Yeah, let's not and say I did, Bay.”
Ilias looked frustrated while Micaela was smiling at her mother/creator’s expense.
Xander seeing the put out Ilias turned over his winnings to Maman who just smiled at him and walked over to her. He looked at her and asked, “Didn’t have a good time at the craps table?”
Ilias almost reflexively puffed her cheeks out but stopped herself, “I lost…….. A lot.”
Xander just patted her head and brought her into a hug, “It's okay. We all make mistakes and lose. I could tell all of you how much I failed.” he mused while looking at all the women and Patrick.
Ilias did not like how her heart sped up and how she felt a luminescent blush on her face.
Micaela just laughed and added her own two cents, “She lost over 500,000 dollars in chips. I won some back but overall we lost a lot. It seems luck was not on our side.”
Xander tightened the hug and gave Ilias a kiss on the forehead. He felt her still and while she didn’t return the hug Xander felt her relax. He let go of Ilias and then walked over to Micaela.
Before he could offer a hug she pulled him close and gave him a deep kiss. Xander even felt a little tongue. When she let him go to breathe, Xander just looked at her in surprise.
“I see why my sister got married. It is just so endearing and intoxicating to be in love with someone. Thank you Xander. You prove humanity deserves a chance with all you do.” Micaela then walked up to the counter and cashed her chips leaving a perplexed Xander and a blushing Ilias behind.
Xander looked to Ilias, “What did she mean by that?”
Ilias looked at Xander and before she could say anything Alice piped up, “Goddess Ilias wanted to reset the universe after feeling humanity failed her along with monsters who were creations by my ancestor.”
Xander showed his confusion and voiced it, “By monsters do you mean demons or something more?”
Alice smiled at her new husband's patience and understanding. If only more were like him, “No. Demons do not exist in my world outside succubi and our vampires have the ability to breed and have kids. Monsters were beings of darkness. Not evil but born from dark energy while humans were created along with angels by the creator. The goddess Ilias.” she finished while glaring at Ilias.
Xander looked at both and caught on to something they said, “Wait your world…. So the multiverse theory is real then. Huh what a wonder. Besides that if you are a being of light and created humans. Is it safe for you both to be on a gateway to hell?” Xander asked, looking in worry at Micaela and Ilias. Both angelic beings waved away his concern, “Don’t worry about us. While we are weakened. We can still hold our own. Most demons would be uncomfortable in our presence. Hell most monsters aren’t even overly affected by us except undead but those are abominations that are against the natural order. On that we agree with Alice.”
Xander looked at Alice and saw her nod as well.
While enjoying the scene and living soap opera, Patrick piped up, “Well you had a great day at the tables but how about a nice lunch and then a diner and show. I happen to know that Xander, thanks to his good graces, got access to buy tickets to a sold out show at Caesars Palace.”
Xander looked interested, “Oh awesome who's the headliner?”
Patrick waved the question as if it didn’t matter, “It don’t matter mate. You got tickets to the other side of Caesars Palace. You’re seeing the greatest pop sensation in the supernatural world. Astaroth.”
Xander looked surprised and then asked, “Isn’t that a demon lord? They aren’t going to eat us or drain our souls are they?”
Maman looked insulted and was about to say something when Alice interrupted, “Wrong demon lord. I have heard of her. She just sings no major problem with eating souls. You kind of have to sign a contract or make a deal with a demon if you want that.”
Xander gave a sigh of relief and looked at everyone, “ Well let me handle buying the tickets and then we can grab lunch. The concert isn’t till tonight so is there anything else you ladies want to do while in Vegas?”
All the women looked at each and just shrugged til Bayonetta made a suggestion that filled Xander with dread, “Why not go shopping for some new clothes for our new boytoy?”
“Oh God please no…” Xander muttered out with genuine terror on his face and in his voice. “Anything but shopping.”
“I’m right here Xander,” Illias replied bemused before continuing, “But I think a new wardrobe would be an excellent idea. Besides you won’t be alone in the tortur- I mean trying on clothes.”
“I won’t?” The amateur hunter asked.
“Of course not. Stark will be right there with you and we may need a man’s opinion so naturally Patrick will be coming as well, now come along.”
“Don’t I get a say in this?!” Both Patrick and Stark said at the same time before sending each other a look.
“No,” Both Fern and Illias said at the same time to both men as Fern dragged her husband by the arm towards the exit, while Xander was herded like a lamb to the slaughter by the rest of his wives.
‘Well,’ Xander thought to himself, ‘It can’t be worse than going shopping with Buffy. Slayers, always trying to shop till ‘I’ drop.’ He thought as he resigned himself to his fate.
(...)
Word Count: 8,560 Number of Pages: 18 Date Completed: 12/16/2024
(...)
AN:
Comments
Bubbajack
Spoilers but the series she is from is Seven Mortal Sins
Apostle_of_Darkness
Where is Maman from? Also, can’t wait to see what Buffy’s reaction to Xander’s wives will be in the future.
Swordcollector45
That was hilarious and awesome never thought I'd see MGQ, Frieren, BtVS, Black clover, fairy tail, and welcome to demon school iruma together. Fern is adorable. Love it bubba!! Keep up the good work yall.
Flbiv
This was awesome! Definitely getting vibes of the one story you did way back, I think it was called the Laughing Scooby, it was the one where Xander was a Constantine and had earned a wish from Belldandy from Ah My Goddess! That one was one of the two stories that got me hooked to your stories (the other being the one where Halloween merged Tony Stark, CG EMIYA, and Cerebrembor together into Xander). Looking forward to seeing where this goes! Especially with the rare Monster Girl Quest crossover! A non-homicidal Illias? An Alice that’s more dere than tsun? Are they from the Paradox timeline?? And are they the only ones from that world (no way Promenstein would miss out on another world with science and technology to explore). Thanks again for the chapter and hope to read more of this in the future!!
