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Chapter 30: Regret.
🕑 Added 2025-05-28 13:00:02 +0000 UTCThe Gem of Sloth….
The sin that Elizabeth thought was closer to her, the one she tried to embody every day of her life while slacking away in her dorm…And now it was in her hands, not because she managed to crystalize a second Sin.
But because it had been given to her, not by a slacker, not by someone who lazed away their life…But by someone who strived to become better every day, by someone who suffered an unbearable amount of lives….
Someone who strived as much as he could…and at the end of that long road…He desired nothing else but to rest, someone who probably did their best for almost a year trying to find a way to peacefully rest, so much that they ended up corrupting their body by taking in the sin of Sloth.
And fail. The Gem didn’t provide what they desired, and so they came to Elizabeth. Fully aware that Fate had made them a toy, a way to ensure that Elizabeth got what she wanted…What she needed…in the moment she needed it…When her Soul was finally stabilizing, when it was ripe for her to take.
And not one second too late.
“Was this what it means to be a Fate’s plaything?” Elizabeth said aloud while lying atop her bed.
Or this bed anyway, the bed she had been sharing with Rena and Rossie, the one where she woke up annoyed because Rossie and Rena hadn’t had GEX while atop her…A pointless worry after what she had done.
What she had done….Elizabeth couldn’t contain it anymore and stood up with a jump from the bed and went straight to the bathroom, why?
BARF
“Ugh…..how did Akira do it….?” Elizabeth said while she cleaned her mouth and look at her reflection in the mirror, what she found wasn’t some hideous monster, she didn’t find the image of a genocidal assassin who wanted to bask in the flesh and blood of innocents.
She didn’t find the face of an opportunistic bitch who took down someone at his weakest spot…No…
“What are you looking at?” She found her face, red eyes from crying, a tired expression, and remains of gastric juice on her lips; it was…”You look disgusting, you kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?”
It was….stupid.
Elizabeth knew it, she of course knew it, she hadn’t enjoyed doing it. And Michael wasn’t even the first one she was responsible for their death, or for a cruel destiny. No… “He wasn’t even the first…” The first would go to someone else.
She made Rossie suffer for almost six months…She allowed Rena to suffer for more than two years even when she was aware that there was something going on…
She allowed Beatrice to struggle with depression and anxiety…
She allowed Sebastian to suffer in silence when all it was needed was for her to merely ask if something was wrong…
She never questioned that Sebastian was her first minion, ignoring the existence of Reginald for almost two years…
She allowed a nameless minion to sacrifice himself for her…
She allowed the insecurities of Rossie and Rena to tie themselves to her, where they would need her love…They needed her, no…Michael wasn’t even the first…
“So why does it hurt?” Elizabeth said in a small whisper, “Why…I didn’t even like the guy…”
Was it because he thanked her? Sincerely thanked her?
Elizabeth didn’t know.
“And if that wasn’t enough, you even left a tip…” Elizabeth laughed, she laughed sadly, closer to a whimper really, but she liked to think that she was laughing and not ugly crying again.
“You even left me the best possible tip…” Elizabeth raised the second Gem, “One that I’ll really need….If Rossie’s Gem wasn’t promised already, I would really use it….hell, I should probably use this instead of Lust for that combination…”
But Elizabeth would not. She had made a promise, “So…The Gem of Lust and The Gem Of Time…” The secondary Gem that she got from Michael…
Of course she had gotten something else from that, something that she refused.
The blue box still stayed near her, taunting her.
"Get rid of it," Elizabeth hissed at empty space. "Don't make me do it because I will ensure that goes away…Even if I need to burn all of it down."
….silence was who answered her. So Elizabeth stood, she stood and focused, she pulled at her Core, then more…then more….Elizabeth started channeling her mana, going from her top Core to the middle, to the nave…all the way around.
Faster and faster, shifting the nature of the mana first from shadows to Lightning, then to fire…to space…to Soul…To Divine.
"Make it go away, or I'll do it myself." Elizabeth commanded. She was feeling it, the Core within her Soul starting to caught in fire…no…starting to shift into MORE. Starting to open the gates to a new level of existence.
Elizabeth merely slowed the process down, she wasn't at the point of no return yet, but was close…
Elizabeth stood there, digesting what had happened…Before dealing with it, though, she started to reverse the process, slowly quenching the fire of Divinity that was burning…Slowly returning to Humanity…
Then going in reverse, corrupting her own Mana into something more akin to a mortal, the process was easier than she expected, each time her Prana course her heart the impurities increased, allowing an easier return…
Each iteration the mana became something that she was more comfortable wielding, the first, the second…the third…the fourth…the fifth….sixth…and seventh iteration…
It wasn't till she paid attention that she noticed it…
With the seventh iteration, her mana was closer to something she knew and understood better than anything…
“Seven iterations…seven changes….And we end with…" Elizabeth shook her head as she paid attention to her mana, who had returned to normal, "Pride."
Her mana right now shared many similarities with Pride Sin Mana, her heart had tempered it from Divine into Pride…She had thought that her Divine Lighting, the result of wielding Pride, was because of her past as Alexanders.
He favored Lightning after all.
But…Was there something else going on? Or why had it taken seven iterations to normalize the mana that was closer to…
“....Hahahahahahahah.” Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh.
"Eli-Eli! Are you okay?!?!?" Even when Rossie rushed into the room and found her laughing while sitting against the wall, she hadn't cleaned the mess from puking in the bathroom either.
"....Eli….Oh Eli…. I'm so sorry…I didn't….I didn't think…" Rena said looking at Elizabeth, "It's fine Eli…Trust me….There wasn't any other option, he didn't left you any choice…It isn't your fault."
"What?" Rossie asked confused, "What is it? What happened? What was that mana outburst? It felt…It felt as if Eli-Eli was leaving! Why ?!?!?"
"....She killed someone," Rena stated plainly while Elizabeth continued laughing and clutching her chest with a hand.
"Of course, what of it?" Rossie said confused, "He wanted an out and Eli-Eli helped, he even thanked her, what of it? What did that bastard do to Eli-Eli?!?!?"
Rena shook her head and sat beside Elizabeth, embracing her by the side and placing her head against her chest, "She isn't like us, Rossie…Elizabeth hadn't willingly killed someone while thinking of doing it…" Rena's words made Rossie's face turn blank, "She hasn't…she hadn't….killed someone because she herself thought about it, decided to do it. Then do it…She expected hate or rage, but instead got gratitude…"
"...I would also…" Rossie started saying.
"If Eli asked you to kill her, would you do it?" Rena suddenly asked.
"Of course not!" Rossie said angrily, "Why would I do that?!?!? Eli-Eli's life is more important than mine!"
"Of course, but…if she was at the brink? If her eyes shone with desperation?" Rena said sadly, "If all she desired was to die? If…if it was between that or something worse?"
"I wouldn't…I couldn't…." Rossie said still shaking her head, "But that example only applies because I love Eli-Eli and she loves me…Michael…Eli-Eli didn't like him!"
"....But it's the closer thing we have…I also don't like that….Man…" Rena said the words as if it hurt her, "But…Eli…”
"....You don't need to feel bad for him," Rossie said sitting in front of Elizabeth, "Rena already said it, and I don't think he would want it either. Even as he was, a useless piece of shit, he still had something worth for his useless life…He gave you it to you because he also saw you for what you are Eli-Eli."
A hypocritical murderer?
"Someone who shines light into those that need it," Rossie said without missing a beat, "You are our hope, our love, our future…the future Mother of my daughter…The future Mother of Beatrice when she returns to us…"
….Fine.
"I wasn't laughing out of desperation," Elizabeth said after calming down and wiping out the tears that had come out, "It was because of something else."
"What was it?" Rena asked, still hugging Elizabeth against her chest, "You can talk to us."
Could she? Of course she could. But should she?
"....Have I told you about Alexanders?" Elizabeth said in a small voice.
"Your past life?" Rossie asked.
"Her what now?" Rena said raising Elizabeth from her chest and looking at her, then against all common sense, Rena lifted Elizabeth's blouse and pulled at her pants to look at her, "...But Eli is a girl…? And that sounds like a man's name."
"First of all, rude." Elizabeth said, lowering her blouse and pulling her pajama up, "Second of all…That is beside the point."
"....right… It's okay, no matter if you were a MALE before, you got better anyway." Rena said, nodding sagely, "So what's the deal with that?"
"I….was in my past life Alexanders, an asshole…An asshole who made many mistakes, he even caused the destruction of his homeworld." Elizabeth summoned a projection of Terra Invicta, one from the archives that remained in her spire anyway. "He ended up turning his homeworld into a wasteland of death that could not hold life anymore."
"...Eli… Isn't that Terra Nexus? Your soulscape?" Rena said looking the image, "It looks…. isn't that your Shadow Haven? And the weird spire in the middle?"
The image had focused on Aquila, so of course, they recognized it.
"Alexanders died in the end, failing to save his world, his friends, his loved ones if he even had some…" Elizabeth continued, "And at the end, he got offered a second chance…A goddess or entity offered him a second chance at life, a way to pay for his sins…A way to have a happy ending…"
"....so he took it, and so you are here?" Rossie asked, not disgusted or anything, but curious, Elizabeth had thought they would distance themselves from her if they found out the full history…both girls hated men after all.
"No," Elizabeth shook her head, "I am not sure what happened, or how it went, I am not even sure about his past. I know some parts because of what I found, but I know what he said…Because it is the first memory I have, the one that never left me, even while memories of my childhood vanish…this one remains."
Elizabeth pulled another image, one of a vague figure speaking to another blurred figure, the voice was distorted too, as she wasn't sure why, even though she knew the voice of Alexanders. She still couldn't hear it clearly what he said.
But even so, the recording started, "I refuse," The voice stated, it was almost static, but the wording was enough to be understood, "I will not accept. Scrub my Soul free of memories, of talent, of everything that makes me Alexanders Saintsworths. Throw whatever remains away and then, ask the me that remains the same question again. Perhaps I'll accept the offer once I am devoid of everything that makes me myself."
"...Then…." Rena asked turning to Elizabeth, "You are…"
"Whatever remained yes, look." Elizabeth said pointing at the projection.
The image forwarded and what appeared was…a roughly humanoid form, it was honestly closer to a blob than the figure of a man. "...I don't wanna." The voice said this time, it was less static and more androgynous, but still wasn't the voice of Elizabeth, "I want to laze away in a comfy spot, and that sounds like too much of a hassle. Can I go like…the normal way?"
"Yeah…that is Eli-Eli," Rossie said with a small laugh.
"I was offered women or men, riches or kingdoms. But I wanted nothing, so I was thrown away, away from the blessings of Fate…away from the strife…Instead I was reincarnated as the daughter of one of the [Heroes] that was assigned to the work that they wanted Alexanders for." Elizabeth sighed, "Daughter of the same blood that coursed through Alexanders….fate spitting in my face I guess….enough blood and similitarities for Alexanders to resurge…Or perhaps this was our fate all along…"
"No," Rena said shaking her head, "Fate had nothing to do; you did this. You got here, you strived to be more than what your bloodline says, be it the bloodline of that man, or the bloodline of your parents."
"And even if that man had something to do, he is dead." Rossie said, "He has no right to dictate your future or past…He has done enough, hasn't he?"
"I guess…I benefited from it in the end, though." Elizabeth sighed, "My Soul is the remanent of him, someone so powerful that even scrapped of power, talent and his genius it is big enough to house the planet he lived in."
The projection shifted from Terra Invicta to Terra Nexus. A world that was a wasteland to a world that was on its way to recovery.
"Even with the scraps of his power…His inheritance was strong enough to help me stand here…" Elizabeth said, and before moving on, she changed the image from Terra Nexus to an image of a beating heart. "And here we have the crown jewel of the life of Alexanders Saintsworths."
"A heart?" Rena asked confused.
"...That….should…not look like that." Rossie said eyeing the heart, then turning to Elizabeth and placing her hand above Elizabeth's hand, the one that was clutching at her chest, "...What….what is that Eli-Eli?"
"The Seven Series Dragon Heart," Elizabeth answered with a small deprecating laugh, "I didn't know why it was called Seven Series, I knew it gave me seven extra slots for skills…And I thought it was just Alexanders favoring the number seven, you know…The whole 'The Perfect Number' thing…But no…It wasn't that."
"Then…." Rena asked, confused, unsure, "What does the seven mean?"
"Gluttony, Wrath, Lust, Pride, Envy, Greed and finally Sloth." Elizabeth answered one by one as she summoned her Crown of Sin, "Each slot according to a Sin…Alexanders….I am finishing his unfinished work…It isn't that I was more attuned to the Cardinal Sins naturally…Hell, if I was to guess Alexanders had planned to compensate the Sins with Virtues…to neutralize them instead of enhance like I am doing."
"But you aren't him," Rossie said, shaking her head, "You are not running away from your responsibilities, letting them on someone else."
"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked.
"He left you his unfinished business, didn't he?" Rossie said pointing at Elizabeth, "He left you his wrecked home, and you fixed it; he left you the Shadow Dragons, too, right? That is why you have so many of them….He left you the souls of those he couldn't save."
"...He even left you his crown jewel, as you said, but one he wasn't able to finish. Because he wasn't good enough." Rena stated with finality…
That was a first.
Everyone who knew of Alexanders always said he was the best at what he did, but here? At this moment, Elizabeth's girlfriends said the opposite. That the man who stood at the peak of his world wasn't good enough. That the man who probably became a living god without help, the man who fought against Fate…The man that clawed his way from certain oblivion into Zaanam…
It wasn't good enough.
"Hahahahaha," Elizabeth laughed, she had never once thought that she could live up to him, the amount of things Alexanders had done were too many, too impresive, too shining…
But here? Here Elizabeth's girlfriends, Elizabeth's lovers said the opposite. That Alexanders didn't live up to her.
It was hilarious.
"Fine," Elizabeth conceded, "Fine I'll stop worrying about my past…about my present…and about my future I guess."
Elizabeth took the Gem of Sloth, "But…you both better take responsibility about this…I don't know how this will turn…Or if I even should do it now." Unsure if she even wanted to start doing this now…
She was, after all, a mess.
"Always Eli-Eil," Rossie answered.
"We will stand by your side, and if you ever worry about what you are doing…I am willing to do the things you don't want for you." Rena answered afterwards.
Yeah…what else could any girl want anyway?
Comments
CringeWorthyStudios
You got here, you strived to be more than what your bloodline says, be it the bloodline of that man, or the bloodline of your parents. > title drop! Thanks for the chapter!
