MegSyv
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Tough Times
🕑 Added 2016-06-17 19:52:16 +0000 UTC These 2 panels have been the most difficult that I've ever had to figure out - I'm posting them here in their entirety with dialogue because I just need to make sure they work.I mean, there was just so much information: Orrig re-entering the room, as well as where the rest of the cast is in relation to him, Lyra recovering his ax, Thistle needing rescuing. Just making sure the screen direction was consistent between the two was exhausting.
And on TOP of that, there's still the scene immediately after this one, the second fight with Brody, that I need to write out! AAAAUGH THERE IS NO ESCAPE
I'm sorry you guys, I just wanted to whine a little bit.
Comments
It reads very clearly. The body language you use sets up the scene nicely. Poor Thistle! She looks so uncomfortable. Orc Dad to the rescue!
Jon Krupp
Whining is acceptable. Using fire on bystanders, is not.
maninblack
No worries it's good to vent
And the mage joins the party, whether she wants to or not. :D
Robert
Possibly you might want to rotate the crowd or field of view in the first panel a bit so you can show Thistle with a panicky look?
Irishxlily
Vent, girl, VENT. It soothes the soul. I'd say make Orrig taller/bigger in the first panel to fill out that upper right corner a bit plus it'll reduce the crowding around Lyra's face. That way we can see Lyra's face/emotion more. For some reason I really like the more faded Orrig text of him saying "Come, come" vs "Come on". 'Come on' sound more... aggressive? while 'Come, come' sounds more... endearing? It just seems to imply more of a bond??? but still professional? I mean, at this point I think he respects her, and she did save his life.... anyway, I'll stop ranting. haha The two panels read just fine for what information you are trying to get across. How did Orrig show where the Professor went (or what has become of him) when he left the room? Is that a scene/page we haven't seen yet? Perhaps that will make sense once we see all the pages in order, or something you are just implying took place.
I like that I can tell which figure is Brent just from the eyebrows...
Naziha Zahed
Poor little Thistle, always getting dragged around.
Problems.... none I see young Padawan
epilonious
You're still awesome and whatever happens will be fun for me to read, I imagine. I dont want to presume for other readers but I hope they have similar sentiments.
